“Well?” Marren asked patiently.
I laughed nervously, trying to play it off, and moved my hands to my lap to keep them from visibly shaking. “Now you're not really referring to me are you?”
“I'm not listing names,” he retorted playfully.
“Names? As in more than one? Well, okay then.” I paused a few breaths. “Maybe they don't believe someone like you would be interested in them or maybe don't feel like they're worth your time. It could even be something as simple as being too afraid you'd end up like everyone else in their past.”
He sighed and looked away, becoming lost in his thoughts. At least it looked like it to me. I sipped on the wine, feeling its tart taste swim along my tongue and warm my throat and belly. I stood and walked towards the fireplace to look at the wonderful design along the mantel and hearth. The vines stretched and moved along the confines of the fire with the buds of the flowers opening. I watched in awe as the petals fell to the floor, disappearing, only to appear as buds on the vine again.
I heard Marren approach from behind. I saw the outline of his silhouette out of the corner of my eye. “This place...I thought all magic left the mortal realm long before I was born. Then I see this, and Raden, and the feel of the air in this place. It's something that I find hard to describe.” I touched the wood of the vines. They jumped at my intrusion, ceasing movement at my touch. I dropped my hand, feeling guilty.
“It's the same sort of enchantment you have,”
“Over what, exactly?” I found this astoundingly preposterous.
“Me…” he said softly and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him.
His eyes held mine and my heart quickened. I felt a pang of panic, the desire to run away overwhelmed me. “Marren, I—”
“I'm not like everyone else you've met. Believe me. I could never hurt you like they have.” He lifted his hand to my face, gently gliding his fingers along my cheek. My breaths and heart nearly stilled. I lowered my gaze.
“Don't look away, please,” he whispered, dropping his hand and stepping closer to me. I felt like my legs were about to buckle. “Can you ever love me?”
Tears fell down my cheeks, leaving cool wet streaks. “I don't know how to.”
“We can teach each other.” He wiped away the tears.
“And what if I can't? What then?”
“I will never stop trying,” he promised.
“Why?”
“Why not?” he asked with a hint of confusion in his voice, though his face didn't change. He dropped his hands to his sides.
“Because it doesn't make sense. I'm not whole or complete in any way.”
“Have you tried to just let it happen?”
“Did you not hear my story?” My words came out shaky. I felt every nerve in my body fire off sporadically. “What is it you see in me that makes you so willing to spend forever trying to win me over?”
His hands touched mine slightly, sending my nerves on high alert where our skin touched. “That is something better shown than told.”
I blinked away the blur of tears that threatened to fall again. I wanted to see him clearly, but then he slipped his hand under my hair and grabbed the back of my head, pulling me closer to him. His other hand wrapped around my waist, pressing me into his body. He pulled back slightly to ask, “Do you trust me not to hurt you tonight?”
“Tonight?” I couldn’t think straight while pressed against him so closely.
“One day at a time.”
I lifted my hands, resting them on his solid form and nodded, though I really wasn’t all that sure. His lips pressed into mine, forcing a surge of heat to explode within me and burst through my body. Feelings that weren't my own filled me and little stilled visions, like paintings, filled my mind. Memories from his past surrounded me. It surprised me to experience these images that were flashing through my mind, and frightened me a little too. But the longer he kissed me, the more my fear melted and became a figment of what was. All too soon, he pulled away.
“What was that?” I asked, breathing heavily.
“It's rather hard to explain.”
“Is that going to happen every time you kiss me?”
He chuckled under his breath. “I just have to touch you for that to happen.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Oh.” I felt my cheeks redden.
He took my hand and pulled me behind him towards the ball room, with the swords and statues. I glanced towards the wolf head again, its eyes watching me. We approached one of the book shelves. Marren released my hand and started to look through the books. A thought entered my mind that he could be at it for months.
“What I'm about to tell you, and show you, is a lot to take in. But it's important that you know exactly what you are getting yourself into before you get in too deep.”
“Too late for that,” I muttered under my breath. The weight of my words was far heavier than I realized.
“Most of the magic in this world, along with creatures that now are a part of myth, were banished several hundred years ago. But as you can see, some of us have stuck around anyway. Forced to hide our true identities and live in secluded areas of the world. That is how magic still exists on this realm and how I've been able to stick around as long as I have.”
“Where was everyone banished to?” I asked, curious to finally know more about the enigma of Marren. “And what do you mean hide your true identity?”
“A separate realm that mirrors much of this world. Ah!” He pulled out a book by the spine then turned and held it out for me, ignoring my second question. “This book has a lot of information in it. It should help to answer most of your questions. What it doesn't answer, I will explain.”
I nodded, taking the book. It was small, but heavy and thick. There was no print on the cover, looking as if it had been worn off for quite some time. The smooth cover felt like cloth, it was stained heavily, making it difficult to discern the original color.
“I must warn you, there are things that are nightmarish and horrific described in this book. It may frighten you beyond what I'm expecting. If that happens, I ask that you come to me and let me know, so I can do my best to lay those fears to rest.” He cupped my face in his hands and looked me deep in my eyes.
I only have one fear now... I wanted to say, but the words fell silent at my lips. I nodded.
“Come on, I want to show you something else.”
We walked back through the dining hall and through a door at the back of the kitchen to a set of stairs that led to the servants’ quarters. Then, I followed him back through the corridor and up the stairs that led to my room. The room at the top and to the left was the bathing room and held a giant tub in the center that was deep enough to be a pond. The ceiling was solid glass, letting in natural light, but it also had sconces along the walls for darker days and nights. Next, he led me to the closed doors along the balcony and pointed to Enid's room, in case I needed something when Marren wasn’t around. Then, he showed me his study that held bookshelves, a large desk with a chair and scrolls strewn about and even a few statues of miniature dragons, fairies, and gnomes.
He faced me, leaning against the edge of his desk. “Now that you've seen my entire home, what do you think?”
I couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of me. “You wait until now to ask me about my view of your home?”
“Our home.”
My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. “It's absolutely beautiful. But there is one place you didn’t show me.”
He looked at me as if to ask where.
“Where is your room?”
“I tend to sleep in my study, as of late.” He removed himself from his desk. “It's getting late. I should escort you to your room.”
5
Therianthrope
I walked directly to the table and sat the book down. I turned, jumping when I saw Marren standing in front of me. In one infallible movement, his arms were around me and he was kissing me again. This time, I felt fear. It fel
t almost like a hidden fear that I wasn't meant to know. And he was kissing me as though it was for the last time. I clung to him when he pulled away from me.
“Wait, don't go.” The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them and surprised me with the determination in them.
“As much as I would like to stay, I have things I must attend to. You should read about the world you need to know. You're about to be thrown into darker waters than you're accustomed to.”
“I don't need to read the book. I can deal with whatever comes my way. You should already know that I wouldn't have let you kiss me if I didn't want you to.” Although, I’m not even sure that was the case. “It can't be as bad as you say.”
He squeezed me tightly. His words blew against my hair softly when he said, “You underestimate the severity of the knowledge you're about to gain.”
“But you promised not to hurt me.”
“Exactly.”
“Can’t you just tell me?” I sounded needy, like a child.
He smiled. “I will explain the things you don’t understand. This is difficult for me, too. I’ll come back later.” He released me then turned on his heels and left me in the room alone. Despite the fire that filled the room with heat, I felt extremely cold.
I took the book to the balcony to read it in the fading light of the sun. I stepped out, seeing a hooded figure step out from the garden and towards the woods. I thought of Marren again and this time decided that I was going to go after him. I tossed the book to the bed and pulled my hood over my head. I tried to pull open the doors, but they wouldn't budge.
Angered, I struggled with the door again and then punched it, feeling a pop in my hand. I cried out, holding my hand to my chest then shook it out. I busted a knuckle. Already it was swelling and bruising.
“Damn it to the darkest realm of the Netherworld!” I stomped to the balcony and peered over. It was too high to risk jumping. An eerie howl broke through the air, piercing my soul. I moved into the room and stared at the book on the foot of my bed. “What is so damned scary I have to read it from a book rather than have it told to my face?”
I looked over my shoulder to the woods. I was leaving this room, one way or another. I pulled the blanket and sheets off of the bed, carefully tying the ends together so I didn’t injure my hand further, and then to the top of the railing. Hanging on to the sheet, I swung my legs over and climbed down. Each grip of the sheet, with my injured hand, was agonizingly painful. When my feet hit the ground I felt excitement pulse through me. Before anyone could catch me, I ran off into the woods after the hooded figure.
It was dark. The moon hadn’t risen yet and it wouldn’t be as full as it needed to be for me to see. I stumbled my way through the woods, tripping over raised roots and thick vines, risking further injury to my hand. When I found a path, I followed it deeper into the woods. Then a sound, like a snapping branch, came from behind me. I turned around to see if I could discern any movement but was so far into the thick trees I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, much less someone or something else.
“What are you doing out here?” Marren said, his voice thick with irritation.
“I wanted to see what was out here. And I don’t like being made to feel like a prisoner.” I started to turn around but couldn’t tell where his voice was coming from.
“Remaining in your room is for your own safety. Follow me, I will lead you back.”
“Fine. But you need to explain to me why keeping me in that room is for my safety. What are you trying to protect me from?”
“Relena, you must understand,” he stepped closer to me. His form darker against the shadow of the woods, “It’s too dangerous for you to be out here. Please...”
Something in his voice, or perhaps it was how close he was to me, compelled me to agree with going back. It wasn’t until we were on the edges of the woods that I realized he had recognized me in complete and utter darkness.
“How did you know it was me back there?”
“I didn’t and I could’ve killed you, now go.”
His voice was empty. He lied.
“I don’t believe you,” I snapped then left him in the woods. Not once did I look back, even after I climbed back up to the balcony. My hand protesting each grasp.
I remade the bed before climbing on top of it and getting comfortable with the book. Using the light from the fireplace, I flipped to the first page. Penned in an elaborate script, was a strange language I hadn’t seen before. It was a mixture of straight lines and curls. The next page had a family tree with names on branches and the trunk, scrawled in the same hand.
The page following was a map of our world, shrunk to fit the width of two pages. Small 'x' marks were scribbled along different points. Curious of what the marks meant, I continued through the pages, flipping through because the book was written in the same strange language.
I stopped on the pages that had illustrations of different creatures. They were extremely detailed, which made the picture almost lifelike. The first was a dragon, fiercely drawn, standing on its hind legs with its wings outstretched. Its mouth was open in a permanent cry. It looked like it was standing on the edge of a cliff, readying for flight.
The next was a vampire. I recognized it by the stories I’d heard of them. Their looks could hypnotize you, placing you under their power. Their skin as pale as snow, as was their hair, until they claimed a victim at which time it would change in color, much like the detail in the picture. The figure was holding a goblet of liquid, while their hair started dark at the roots and faded to colorless strands at the tips. They were said to be beautiful creatures, however this one simply looked half-starved with sunken eyes and skin that barely stretched over their face. I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman.
The next creatures in the book were fairies, gnomes, elves, dwarfs, centaurs, and goblins, all depicted with their own background suited to their ways of life. Then the last creature was human looking, with features akin to the wolf. The nose smoothly joined its cheeks with skin pulled tightly under its eyes. Its brow slightly swelled out farther than a human's would. The picture of its eyes was solid black with only a dot of light in them. Its lips kept a human shape. Even the jaw line looked human. I'm sure there were more differences in character than what the picture showed. This one was a man. He was dark skinned and had short spiked hair. His eyes held a warning in them, but also a deep sadness. He looked so familiar to me, yet I couldn’t say why. I broke away from the book shaking my head.
“I'm seeing things in this damned book,” I said as my mind swam with questions. This is what Marren was afraid of? That I would turn and run away because of something so magnificent, so wonderful?
There had to be more, something I hadn't seen yet.
I returned to the book, flipping through pages until finding parts written in Common. Pictures of people called Ancients and descendants of Ancients. I didn't bother reading much about them, too concerned with wanting to find what Marren wanted me to see.
I nearly made it to the end of the book when a picture of him stared me in the face. His long black hair, his onyx eyes, the lips that felt like silk against mine, his pointed nose and equally pointed chin, his high cheek bones, and long arched eyebrows, drawn exactly as I have seen him. My heart pounded hard and rapidly.
“This is impossible! This book is so old and worn!”
He stood with a long shirt on, the laces loose and dangling the length of his torso. Underneath, the word 'Therianthrope,' was written. I slammed the book shut then tossed it to the foot of my bed and hugged my knees to my chest. I stared out past the balcony. The moon had finally risen; the night would be long and I had more questions than ever.
***
I woke to find Marren standing out on my balcony. He wore casual clothing, a red tunic with a brown leather vest and pants, as opposed to his normal concealing robes. His black hair danced lightly in the wind, sparkling in the sunlight as he stared into the distance.
&nb
sp; I stood, grabbing my clothes and moving to the other side of the window to change so he didn't see me. I pulled on the halter bodice and pants, quickly tying them and slipped on the boots. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to braid it back to keep it from falling into my face. I stepped lightly next to Marren. Memories from the night before crept into my mind.
“Do you not trust me?”
“What makes you ask that?” I didn't detect a hint of emotion.
“Because I tried to leave my room last night and couldn't. The doors were locked. Then you acted like I committed a grave sin when you found me in the woods and lied to me on top of it.”
He looked down at my hand and grabbed it to examine it. I had forgotten all about bruising it. The swelling was gone and a small ring of yellow-green was all that remained. He raised his eyebrows at me. “You hit the door?”
“I was angry. Going back to that, do you not trust me?”
“I had nothing to do with your doors being locked. The palace does and it was trying to protect you.”
“From who?”
“Me…my kind.”
“What do you mean your kind?” I asked feeling flustered again.
“Did you go through the book?”
“Yes, I did. The entire thing. But I can't read any other language than Common and what was written in Common didn't make any sense.” I was trying my best to stay calm but the growing anger in me wouldn't fade. He was being so cold and distant.
“I'll have a bath run for you. You should relax for the rest of the day. Tomorrow, I will start training you and answering the questions you still have.” Without another word he walked away. I stayed on the balcony, letting the sun soak into my skin, dissolving the anger within me. The air carried with it a faint sweet blossomy smell that made me smile. The garden started to bloom.
I turned to walk to the bathing room. When I stepped out the old servant woman was there smiling again. I smiled in return and in a thick accent she said, “Follow me.”
Heart Song Page 5
