by Brandt Legg
“It’s hard to believe something like that really exists.”
“For me, too, until I was in one. That changes everything.”
“If I drive you there and if we find it, could I go inside Calyndra with you?”
“Of course! It’s about an hour south of San Francisco, maybe a six-hour drive. Let’s leave Friday night. Oh my God, can you imagine?”
“We have to find it. Do you get how much you mean to me? I’ll drop out of school and go into hiding with you. You’re the most important person in my world!”
“I am?”
“Yes! I don’t want to have sex or anything like that, but I’m definitely in love with you. You must know that, right?”
“Uh?”
Amber laughed and pulled onto the shoulder. “Maybe we should have sex if that would make it easier for you.”
“Amber? Uh?”
“You’re so funny when you’re all nervous and shy.” She leaned over and kissed me, a real kiss, on the lips—a movie star kiss that I didn’t want to end, that I didn’t want anything else in the universe to interrupt, ever. When she stopped, I really couldn’t speak. In fact I was barely breathing.
“Your first kiss?” Amber smiled.
“Yeah,” I said, recovering. “If you don’t count Suzy Stover in the sixth grade.”
“Sixth-grade kisses definitely don’t count . . . well, after sixth grade anyway. I like it that I’m your first kiss. You’ll remember me forever now.”
“That was never really in doubt.”
We were driving again. How was I going to bring up Kyle’s concerns after that? Was there any way that this bubbly and beautiful girl next to me could be aiding the enemy? Not knowingly. Maybe Fitts got her prepaid cell phone bugged or her whole house wired, maybe even this car.
“So why are we going to Tanya’s?” she asked.
I hesitated. “Rose is dead. Fitts killed her the night she disappeared.”
“My God! I’m so sorry. Tanya doesn’t know yet? They were close, right?”
“Very.”
“I wish I’d met Rose.”
“You two would have been best friends.”
I changed the subject and told her of the three betrayals of Amparo. She listened so intently that by the time I told her about Rachel and Erich in the concentration camp she had to pull over.
“That’s the most tragic story I’ve ever heard.”
“Amparo opened a connection between the current me and the me from those past lives as if it’s all been one long life. And I suppose, for my soul, it has been. I can remember being at Dachau just the same as I remember being at Crater Lake. It’s that fresh; it’s all part of me.”
“That’s why you look so different.”
“That and getting shot.”
“When?” Her face lost color.
“Fitts. While I was trying to escape after getting Dustin.”
“Where? Show me.”
I lifted my shirt, and she touched both wounds, so soft and tenderly that it made me shiver. She stared long into my eyes like she was looking for Erich or maybe the lifetime when we were sisters. I thought she was going to kiss me again, but the moment was so intense I wouldn’t trade it. Two of her fingers traced my cheekbone to my chin before she turned away.
“We’ve gotta keep you alive,” she said, pulling back onto the interstate.
55
The last time at Tanya’s I was fleeing from Fitts.
“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Tanya said, standing at the doorway.
“Can we come in?”
“Sure.”
“How’s the leg?” Amber asked.
“It’ll heal.”
“Tanya, you should sit down.”
“No, I’m good.”
“I’ve got some bad news . . . I’m sorry . . . Rose is dead.”
“What do you mean?”
“Fitts killed her.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I know it’s hard but—”
“I talked to Agent Fitts this morning.”
“You what?” I frantically looked around. Was he in the next room?
“He came to visit me in the hospital and explained everything.”
“Jesus!” Amber said.
“How could he justify trying to kill my entire family?”
“He’s a federal agent! This isn’t a Bourne movie. He told me he released Dustin—”
“Released? That’s a lie. I rescued him. Fitts shot me. You can’t believe this guy, Tanya. He took Rose.”
“He arrested Rose because she was aiding a known terrorist.”
“What terrorist?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“That’s right. They’re trying to apprehend you, and he told me this morning that you’ve assaulted six federal agents in the past few days.”
“This morning? Tanya. You weren’t in the hospital this morning.”
“He checks in with me. I have his cell phone number. He said to call if I heard from you.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Nate’s not a terrorist,” Amber said.
“Then why are they trying to arrest him?”
“Because they’re corrupt.”
“You’re his girlfriend, and you have to believe him. I don’t. If Nate’s worried about corruption in the CIA, then turn yourself in to my friend—he’s a cop—or the FBI, the state police, the Coast Guard, mall security. Or are they all in on the conspiracy?” She glared at me.
“Tanya?”
“Come on, Nate. You’re not safe here,” Amber said.
“Is Amber right, Tanya? Is Fitts listening to us now? Is he on his way?”
“He’s waiting for my call.”
“Tanya, Rose is dead. Fitts killed her.”
“That’s not true. Have you seen her body?”
“No, but—.”
“Then how do you know?” she demanded.
“How did I know about your childhood, the beatings, about your mother’s suicide?”
“What?” she stared, disbelieving. “My mother didn’t kill herself!”
“I didn’t mean to say that, Tanya. It slipped. I’m sorry you never knew.”
“It wasn’t suicide.” Her voice cracked. She shook her head. “Get out of here, Nate. You don’t know what you’re talking about. My mother’s alive. I mean, Rose is alive, and I don’t want you here. You’re going to get everyone killed. Turn yourself in.”
“Come on, Nate!” Amber grabbed my arm.
Tanya held up her cell phone. “I’m calling Agent Fitts right now. You’ll see this is all in your imagination. You’re better off in custody. Rose can come home.”
“Tanya!”
She was dialing.
Amber was pulling me to the door.
I followed. “How did he convince her I’m the bad guy?” I asked, once we were outside.
“Get in. Let’s go,” Amber said.
56
Amber peeled away and hit the highway doing seventy. “How did you find out about Rose anyway?” she asked.
“Rose came to Linh in a dream.”
“So she really could be alive?”
“If she was alive I would have seen her on the astral.”
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t know. It’s not easy being sure of anything anymore.”
“Let’s go to Rose’s house,” Amber suggested.
“Not a good idea.”
“You don’t want to?”
“Yeah, let’s go.” If Amber’s car was bugged, I thought, they would have been waiting for us at Tanya’s, especially because she’s cooperating with Fitts. “But let’s make it quick.”
“Maybe we can find something at Rose’s that’ll help us know for sure if she’s alive or not,” Amber said.
“Is it true about Tanya’s mom?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“How did you know?”
“I read her. It’s a
power Spencer showed me. If while I embrace someone I consciously search and connect with them, I can see their entire life.”
“That’s wild! I’ll be careful next time we hug,” she said with a laugh.
Being back at Rose’s house was distressing, and in the reading room, I was certain she was dead. There was a deep emptiness, as if a vacuum had sucked every trace of her energy out of the place. I pulled down a colorful scarf for Linh and picked up a pretty stone for me. In another room, Amber was admiring Rose’s collection of books on tarot, astrology, numerology, colors, dreams, reincarnation, the mind—every new age topic. “Look at this,” she said, handing me a leather-bound volume.
“It’s Rose’s handwriting. It looks like her journal.”
“You should take it, Nate.”
“It doesn’t seem right to take something so personal.”
“Don’t leave it for Lightyear.” I took it.
I closed up the house and fought my anger, sure I’d never see Rose alive again. We found an empty pull-off overlooking the Rogue River. Amber took sandwiches out of a bag and handed me a soda as we sat at a picnic table.
“Kyle thinks someone close to me is getting information to Lightyear.”
“Yeah, Tanya.”
“No, that’s only been for a few days, since the hospital. From the beginning, someone has helped Fitts find me.”
“Who? How many people have known where you were?”
“Kyle thinks you’re the only one.”
“Are you serious?”
“I don’t think so, and Linh doesn’t either—”
“You all have actually had a conversation about me helping Fitts find you? I don’t believe this . . . Why would—”
“Amber, sit down. I’ve never once considered the possibility that it could be you. Neither has Linh.”
“But your best friend thinks I’m trying to get you killed. Nate, I love you. Do you get that? You’ve completely taken over my life.” She wiped tears. “Read me, Nate. You can see everything, all my secrets, all my fears. I want you to know me completely. You’ll see nothing but love for you, you jerk.” Her arms held wide, waiting for me.
“No.”
“Read me, damn it!” she yelled.
“I’d rather get to know you little by little.”
“Why?”
“Because it feels more real. I want to know you as a person, like our souls already do.”
“I don’t want you to have any doubts.”
“I never have.”
We stared at each other.
“You’re still a jerk.”
“Why?”
“For not telling Kyle he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about,” she cried.
“I did. Both Linh and I told him he was wrong. He’s just trying to protect me. When Lightyear first came after us at your house, then at Tanya’s and your beach house, you were the only one who knew where I was. You also knew my mom and I were going to pick up Dustin at Mountain View, that Aunt Rose was helping me, and that my mom was coming to see us at Tanya’s.”
“Wait a minute. Kyle, Linh, and your mother knew all those things, too.”
“Actually, my mom didn’t know I was with you that night or at your beach house.”
“But both those times you didn’t ever see anyone stalking you. It was just your heat sensor thing.”
“They were there.”
“Okay, I’m just saying.”
“I was thinking maybe they got to your phone or bugged your house.”
“I bought that phone randomly when I got the others. I don’t think it’s been out of my sight since. In fact, most nights I fall asleep with it talking to my sister.”
“You talk to Bridgette every day? I didn’t know you two were that close.”
“We’re very close. And she’s helped me keep all this in perspective-”
“You’ve been telling her about what’s been going on?”
“Yeah, she’s my sister. Bridge isn’t telling anyone. She’s buried at that art college. My sister isn’t repeating our conversations.”
“What if Fitts tapped her phone?” I asked.
“What if he tapped the phones of everyone we know? That’s a lot of phones.”
“It’s the United States government; it can do anything. Call Bridgette, and say we rescued Dustin.”
“She thinks he’s nuts. What’s that going to prove?”
“You tell her I’m going to stay at your parents’ beach house for a few days to mend. Tell her I got shot trying to get away. I’ll go on the astral and watch the call and what she does afterward. If I can’t hide, I’ll be dead soon. They have a way to find out where I am, and it’s only a matter of time before they corner me. I need to know how they’re doing it.”
I sat in the grass close to the river so I wouldn’t hear Amber. A minute later I saw Bridgette inside an old building in downtown San Francisco. Amber’s number displayed on her phone, and she stepped out of a lecture to take the call. It only lasted about four minutes. Amber asked her if she thought either of their parents would be going to the beach house for the next few days. It was a good reason to call her in the middle of the day. After they hung up, instead of returning to class, Bridgette left the building.
I watched her walk down the street until she found a quiet doorway. She pushed a number on her cell phone and was connected to a desk in Langley, Virginia—CIA headquarters. The woman on the other end of the line asked her a few questions and said they would contact her if the field agent needed any further clarification. Amber’s sister closed her phone and walked back to class. I had not expected this. Watching her on the astral was a long shot. I’d thought maybe it would clear her sister, but this was brutal. I wondered if one of Amparo’s current incarnations was Bridgette Mayes. How was I going to tell Amber? When I opened my eyes, she was next to me.
“Well?”
“It’s her. As soon as your call ended, she phoned the CIA and reported your whole conversation.”
“She wouldn’t even know how to call the CIA. I got my dad’s brains. Bridge got Mom’s.”
“There’s a CIA number programmed on her cell, and she acted like this was part of her daily routine.”
“Why?”
“Money?”
“Please. Our parents compete to see which of them can give us the biggest allowance.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want you hanging out with another Ryder nut-job.”
“She’s definitely not convinced you’re sane. Her time with Dustin really messed her up. She thinks the danger is all in your mind. But, if they turned Tanya and Bridge, maybe you should think about who else might be helping them.”
“How much have you told Bridgette?”
She looked at me pleadingly. “I’m so sorry, Nate.”
“I trust Dustin that way, too. It’s not your fault.”
“It is. I shouldn’t have told anyone. I have to call her back to find out why she did this.”
“No! I don’t want Fitts knowing anything else, especially that we know about her.”
“Then we have to go there. Nate, I have to talk to her. She may be in trouble. It’s not just you. My sister has betrayed me, and I need to know why.”
“You want to go to San Francisco?”
“I want us to. Right now.”
“I don’t want you to get in this any deeper.”
“My sister is relaying my private conversations to the CIA, which may get the guy I love killed. How much deeper in can I get?”
“They can kill you.”
“They can’t do it any easier if I’m in San Francisco or Grants Pass. Come with me. We’ll confront Bridge and then go on to the Calyndra Portal. We were going in two days anyway, so what’s the difference?”
“You have school.”
“I don’t care about that right now. I’m going to San Francisco with or without you, but I’m going. I need to look Bridge in the eye when she explains why she has done this.”
/> Where else was I going to go? Everywhere I went in Oregon, Fitts seemed to find me. If I left the state, it might buy a little time. And if I could really discover the Calyndra Portal, then everything could change. “Let’s go!”
57
Linh called when we were just outside Ashland and said Dustin was safely in a new location. “I don’t need to know where. How is he?”
“Better. He called your mom, and I think that went okay.”
“Good. And Bà’s all right staying with him another night?”
“He’s charmed her so much that I think she wants him to move into our house.”
“That sounds like him. Hey, I’m going to be out of range for a while, so I’ll check in with you in the morning, but call if anything comes up.”
We hung up, and I immediately phoned Mom. “I hear you talked to Dustin?”
“I did. I can’t believe it. You saved him, Nate. I’m so proud of you.”
“So you’re happy now?”
“I asked him if he’d ever be able to forgive me.”
“Mom, I haven’t even forgiven you yet.”
“I’m just so . . . he said he didn’t think he could have that conversation right now.”
“Of course not.”
“Is it true about Rose? Is she dead?”
“Who told you?”
“Dustin.”
“Dustin? Who told him?”
“He said you did. Not in words, but he could see it on you this morning. Is she gone?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, no!”
There was silence.
“She was in the custody of federal agents, the same ones who arrested Dustin and almost killed him. You need to be careful, Mom. I still think Fitts was behind your accident. Do me a favor and stay with Josh a few more days.”
“We need help with this.”
“I know. We need Sam’s sister to make contact with them. Can you get ahold of him and see if he can arrange another conference call with his sister for tomorrow or Friday morning? Tell him to give her all the details about what happened with Dustin and Rose and about them trying to arrest me at Tanya’s. We need someone working on this.”
After I ended the call, Amber said, “That didn’t sound fun.”
