I couldn’t answer him… I was speechless. I needed to get out, now.
“Did you know that was my cabin, my bed, where I go when I can’t take being near you? Where I make myself come... hard, just thinking of you.” His words took shape in my mind. I saw him doing what he said he did and it left me yearning. I tried to speak. I was silent with tears welling up in my eyes feeling betrayed by what he thought of me, shocked, hurt, scared, but then he shook me with so much force my teeth rattled, “Answer me Emma,” he yelled. I couldn’t take it, his nearness… the forbidden things he whispered so close- did things to me I couldn’t explain. I wanted him so much and hated him, so I broke down with tears slipping down my face, I asked, “My god is that what you think me capable of?”
He ruthlessly replied, “I just need to know if you’re going to be offering your body to every fucking guard who you think can break you out of here. Those were his intentions, make no mistake!”
I shook out of his grasp and raised my hand slapping him with all the strength I had regained in the past couple of days. I wanted to hurt him just like he was hurting me.
He responded by grabbing my arm and pulling, dragging me behind him to the bathroom. I was silently crying and digging in my heels- fighting him the whole time when he turned me in his arms to face him in the darkened bathroom. With only the light from the bedroom sneaking through, he pressed me with his hips against the bathroom sink and held me there taking deep breaths, not quite looking like the controlled man I knew him to be while I fought him for some time. My nails dug into him, underneath the sleeves of his fitted black crew neck shirt, but he did not release me. He imprisoned me with his body when his hands grasped my forearms.
I was trying to wrestle free from him. In retrospect, what a stupid fool I had been.
I felt so much heat radiate off him as he drew me in. “Did you think to fool me too, Emma? Was that it, were you always playing your little staring games with me to get me to fall for you just as you did to Jeffery?”
I’m sure I gave him a pitiful look before I looked away. I felt his lips move to my ear when he said, “Look at me, or I’ll make you regret dismissing me.” Raising my chin, I turned my face and did what he demanded as he lowered his lips onto my neck- whispering softly against me, “Did you think I never noticed how you looked at me? How you look at me every time.”
I didn’t deny it, I couldn’t. His breath on my skin was impairing all my abilities to use speech. All I could do was feel.
Having him so close, I couldn’t help to remember how I fell in love with him the moment I first saw him. I had emptied my unreturned love for him unto Jeffery finding some release from emotions too strong to keep bottled up. I had wronged Jeffery in so many ways. Darius was the reason I was so desperate to escape. He had always put so much distance between us. I knew he had to feel something because so many times I found his eyes searching mine almost as if by looking he could reach inside my mind and know my most intimate thoughts. And if that wasn’t enough... most nights, I felt him in my room watching me sleep. I would pretend I slept until finally I would fall asleep.
I could feel him when he thought I had reached deep sleep. It’s strange that I knew this to be true, but I felt it when everything was quiet… even my mind. I probably shouldn’t have known, but his warmth- my body was just aware of him. I believed him to be near because he wanted to know my secrets. He watched me. Did this worry me? … No because I trusted him- I wanted him near me. Yet he was right, I ran away.
I ran away because he was an addiction that would end up destroying me.
There were times when he looked like he couldn’t put enough distance between us. Because of those times, I had lost hope that he would ever feel anything for me. I felt the only thing I was to him was a nuisance. He shook me back from my thoughts, and the first thing I could think was he’s too close I can barely breathe, God… I want him so much.
“Now tell me… is that how you made Jeffery fall in love with you? Is that what you do, make people want you so bad they’d do anything to possess you?” He asked his questions so gently almost like a soft soothing caress over my skin, and smiled against me. His lips drew away, he pulled me closer. I couldn’t answer him because I felt his soft, hot breath on my lips.
I want you… my mind said, but I wouldn’t permit those words from coming out, so I thought of something else to verbally throw at him.
“You can’t blame me for Jeffery, you pushed me to him.” I said against his lips.
“Emma, baby be very careful with what you say to me because you have no idea the things I’m capable of, for you. If you wanted more from me all you had to do was admit it, damn it… not go filling someone’s head with thoughts that only belong to me. I know you didn’t fuck him, in fact, I know you would never have permitted him to even lay a hand on you.” His hand came up to grab my waist long blond hair when he caressed it with the back of his fingers, grabbed it into his hand making a fist, and forced my head back. “Answer me! Do you think you would have allowed for any caresses other than mine?” He roared.
Being forced to look up at him, a tear slipped when I finally whispered back my reply, “No… no, I promise no, I was never planning on doing anything with him please just leave me alone, it wasn’t ever like that… you’re hurting me.” He wasn’t hurting me physically, emotionally yes because he was making me admit so much.
In that precise moment, I wanted the earth to swallow me. I wanted to be removed from this place… to just fall from existence into nothingness.
Not letting go, his eyes followed the tear down over my chin to my neck when he eased his grip. “I’m not sorry,” his firm lips lowered kissing my chin, and he spoke barely above a whisper, “I want to do so much more right now Emma, but you need to answer me this, he said you told him you loved him, tell me you lied Emma… tell me. I have images in my mind of the two of you together- I need them gone baby.”
“Stop doing this Darius, please just stop.” The look he gave me was anything… but sympathetic more like a panther looks at its victim right before it shreds and tears its kill, so my answer was automatic because I was truly afraid for the both of us, after all, he did look capable of killing me. I was feeling like a ticking time bomb about to explode, I wanted to kiss him so bad, yet I also wanted to slap him. He was driving me nuts. So I said, “Yes, I lied. I just wanted to be free of the hell you call my life, the hell you make me wake up to every day... and let go of me, you have no right,” I yelled. “You resent me so much for keeping you here day after day. You hate me so much all you do is give me hell.”
He still grasped my hair when his face came down merely a breaths distance from mine, and he said, “Let you go Emma, when you’re clutching me like you’d die without me? When you’re open to me right now showing me exactly what you want, but pushing me away with your words. Fuck, this is hell… wanting you like this and not being able to do a damn thing about it.”
I realized then I was holding on to him, my body feeling his desire for me while I responded by letting him lift and sit me on the glass sink as bottles scattered and shattered falling on the floor. I was moving closer to him, wanting him- lifting his shirt, trying to feel his skin… fusing us together.
“You’re but a foolish child. I could have had you since the first day. I could have you now. I want you so bad, baby.” He said while holding me away. “I’ve protected you from the worst. You have not a semblance of a clue of what hell is. Hell… little girl is wanting you so bad and knowing you’ll take me without hesitation. But too soon you’ll realize it will cost all our lives, and I don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s life including mine. I will willingly risk everyone, but you Emma. We’ve always loved, wanted, needed, and eventually hated each other. I’m trying to find another way.”
I was shaking by the time he let me go, his words touching something deep… buried. Something so powerful… I knew it was the answer to everything, yet I didn’t understand… grasp it. W
hatever it was- it withdrew, just like him. I watched him walk over to the bedroom as he kicked the bathroom door shut leaving me in the dark. He left me shaking with need for him. I was hurting from how much I wanted him. I quickly climbed down slipping to the cold marble floor and just cried. I cried because I wanted to run after him, but I was alone, empty, and in a worse predicament than I was before my failed attempt at escape because now everyone would be wary of me.
He left me trembling… knowing my only ally was gone, and I came to the realization that Darius was right I was a stupid, childish girl. He left me. He knows how much I want him, knew all along, but still left me all alone. I also had to live with the fact my only friend was forever gone probably kicked off this property. What Darius said couldn’t be good because it only meant that he was hiding so much more, confirmed my worst fears- either I had no grasp on reality, and I was slowly losing my mind, or something worse was coming. Something he felt it was his duty to protect me against. We were all in danger.
After I had calmed, I heard the turning of the faucet followed by running water. I quickly uncovered my face and sat up pulling the tear soaked hair from my heated cheeks while trying to look around. Instead I found myself in complete darkness searching for him, realizing my ability to see in the dark was mysteriously gone. Panicked, I wondered if the bite marks had anything to do with it, or could it have been something Darius had done? He was my tormentor, we were destructive together, and I knew we were sucking in everyone around us, but he was close and that’s exactly what I wanted- needed. I felt some happiness knowing he couldn’t leave me… he needs me too.
I was getting good at making excuses for my weaknesses, for him. I told myself it was better if he was near, better than being utterly alone because at least we knew the truth about one another. So, I welcomed his presence rather than playing a farce with the new woman guard. I needed answers and one way, or another he would give them to me because after his behavior tonight I believed he needed my company more than I needed his. He didn’t want to leave me. I wanted him to stay rather than going out of my mind thinking he was with her. I wanted him to want me.
His voice came out of the darkness, “Emma, I’ve put a tracking device under your skin, it was necessary after all, so don’t Ever… think of escaping again.” This was the reality check I needed to snap out of the allure he held on me. I remembered I needed answers… the ones that kept me up at night.
I shut my eyes before I asked, “Are you my kidnapper?”
This doubt killed me. After so long wondering, I needed his reassurance.
My body began to shiver… betraying me once again as I felt him near me, he commanded it with his presence because when he neared my body yearned for him. And a part of me did fear him; after all there were so many uncertainties. The realization gave me another reason to hate myself. He was so warm- radiating so much heat when he was near. I leaned towards him as I felt his breath on my neck right before he stood me up, and lowered the straps of my chemise off my shoulders with his fingertips. “Come on Eva… you’re not lost, I’ll bring you back. I’ll dig you out no matter how deep you’ve buried your love for me.”
I was about to lean into his warmth and offer my lips to him when I heard the name and knew I’d heard it before. He’d called me that long ago. I was trying to place it when I felt what he was doing… and stood frozen unable to stop him. He said he’d already done this, undress me. We were in complete darkness, so he couldn’t see me I thought.
“Don’t look so scared baby, I just need to feel you. You want to feel me too, don’t you baby? I won’t ever hurt you. You know I’m not who you accuse me to be, or would you offer yourself to me… so willingly anyway?”
Was his reasoning supposed to bring comfort, or more unanswerable questions? I wasn’t sure of what to answer him, so I ignored it and its ramifications.
“How do you know how I look,” I asked as I doubted his words- he was capable of such torment… inflicting so much pain. I felt pain just from not having him near enough. My hands traveled under his shirt when he stopped me.
“No baby, if you touch me… I won’t be able to stop.”
“Darius, you have to stop doing this to me. I can’t take it.” I hated declaring so much.
“You’re trembling baby,” he whispered as he licked my ear. I felt confused, bereft, and weak. He must have read my thoughts because he said, “You’re weak Emma,” offering as an explanation, “we are treating a rare illness, if you leave… you die. Your father pays me a lot of money to keep you safe. There are things out there searching for you, trying to harm you… you’re too young and naïve to comprehend… I want you, I always have Emma, but I can’t have you. At least not until I know with all certainty that I won’t hurt you when I take you… that no one will, but most importantly Emma… that I can keep you alive. Your father knows I’m the only one who can help you.”
“What do you mean by hurting me when you take me?”
“Everything has consequences, it’s time you learned that. You must start listening to me.”
He continued, “Don’t worry Emma. I won’t ever give up. I’m the best person qualified to see you through this. I have everything at my disposal.” He spoke slowly, soothingly almost like speaking to a child when they wake up after a nightmare.
He told me all this while I was vulnerable- standing in front of him holding the chemise against my breasts, preventing it from falling to the ground. I felt broken, just like he said he found me, and I wasn’t capable of listening to his explanations. “What did you do to Jeffery?” I had to ask knowing he’d probably kill me, but it should have been the first thing out of my lips because Jeffery was my only ally.
“I killed him.”
I stepped back, away from him so suddenly. I felt my soul had left me, and I was slowly falling when he held me up against his chest. Nothing registered. I don’t even think I struggled when he touched me, and I felt his skin connect with mine because I had finally become numb, sedated, and completely lost.
“I never wanted to cause you any harm, baby… you must listen to me. He wouldn’t give me your location, not even when I thought him your kidnapper, and I tried to beat it out of him,” he said with what sounded a little like desperation in his voice. “At first, I followed him, but he knew or guessed someone would follow. I didn’t have time for chasing games, not when your life was at stake. I eliminated the threat, Emma.”
No... I shook my head… no. no. No. You’re lying, I screamed soundlessly, yet he replied nevertheless.
“I wish I was, but both of you gave me no other choice. Your father didn’t think you capable of your actions, so he told me to find Jeffery… that he was somehow working for the enemy. I didn’t know what to think, and I was losing precious time. Your father gave me orders to get you back by any means necessary. We both believed you to be in grave danger, and when I confronted Jeffery he told me you would never be mine… that he was following orders to keep you safe, far away from me. I saw it as a complete disregard of your life, or worse he had already handed you over to our enemies.”
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I said more to myself than him- not recognizing the emotionless tone of my own voice. “No, you didn’t kill him, you’re saying this to be cruel… you want to punish me… you knew, you had to have known that he would never hurt me.”
Chapter 4: Love at Death’s Corner
“Emma, that’s what you don’t want to understand,” he whispered as he kissed my temple before trying to ingrain his next words, “he did hurt you, you were closer to death than I’ve ever seen you, and baby it’s been bad- it was his fault.”
He then picked me up against his chest and carried me over to the bath tub while I pounded my fists against his heart, and shut my eyes on a soundless scream. He stopped my pitiful pounding against him by holding me tighter- molding us together. When I was too tired to continue, I breathed him in- his scent pacifying me before he gently laid me in the roman tub,
and stayed close behind me while the darkness surrounded us. The water smelled of the tuberose oil I loved to use so much. It soothed me, a rare obsession of mine. He’d prepared it just as I liked it with the water close to burning me.
I turned and looked at him then, he was standing there, watching me, and looking so beautiful with his wet shirt pressed close to his abdomen… I hated him because I loved him. As I stared and his gaze pierced mine, I wondered how he knew so many things about me, and I asked myself how much more did he know that was still unknown to me? I asked him imploring with my eyes, “Why don’t we just end this, why keep looking for that cure? Are the lives of the people around us really worth keeping me safe? Please, I just want to Live… even if it’s merely seconds of a normal life.”
“You don’t know what you ask Emma! You will never have a normal life.” He said slowly lowering his eyes from my face, to my neck, and lower still. My hands reached up searching for my chemise, but instead found my exposed breasts. Covering them with my palms and forearms while remembering, I must have dropped the chemise when he last confronted me. He watched me very closely while his hands fisted at his sides. I couldn’t keep gazing at him because I was going to make a fool of myself.
I half turned bringing my knees up to my chest; sinking into the water trying to hide I was only in my silver panties. I needed to ask him one last thing, and I needed to see his face when I got the courage to ask, so I slightly turned.
“You’ve hardly lived,” he was saying, as his eyes devoured my naked skin, “you don’t know the things you’re giving up.”
“You’re responsible for making me give all those things up- keeping me trapped here. Is it the money?”
“Tell me Darius, are we chasing this intangible thing that may elude us forever just because you want whatever my father is paying you?” I asked without any trace of emotion; finally finding the courage because he’d never looked so torn between need, desire, and duty. I wanted to shake him with my words- to tear him apart, he who was always so in control of everything. Even if I didn’t for one second believe them to be true, I said them to hurt him.
Taken by The Hunger: A Blood Thirst Novel (Book 1) Paranormal Romance/ Erotica/ Urban Fantasy Page 3
