“All right, I’ll listen, but you have to be honest, too, no matter what. Please, please promise me that, Derek.”
She felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath, a habit he had when he was either trying to keep his cool or say something that was going to be hard for him to get out. She placed a hand on his heart and waited for him to begin.
“It bothered me when you left me for another man. It bothered me when you let another man have you and take you. I hated that. It killed me.”
Her eyes closed unbearably tight trying to keep the tears from spilling free. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know, sweetie. I know. But what bothered me was because you were no longer with me. Don’t you understand? You were mine. And he took you away from me. I would’ve given you anything. Any desire, any want, any need you had, I would’ve given to you. He took that chance away from me though. You were just gone. I couldn’t give you anything you wanted or needed. I was forced to lie in bed alone every night knowing someone else was giving you what you desired.”
“Oh, Derek.” Her tears were fighting so hard to break free, but she didn’t want him to feel the wetness hit his chest.
“Let me get this out, I want you to understand. Maybe if you understand, you’ll realize just how important it is to me that you’re honest about those things with me.”
She waited while he took a few more breaths, obviously trying to steady his nerves. She could feel he was becoming more and more tense as he went on, but she was determined to not act on it. He said to listen, and that was what she would do. That was the very least she could do.
“Don’t you see? I want to give you pleasure. I want to make you feel good. I want to be the one who gives you those things. No one else. And, sweetie, I hate to shock you with this news, but you are not the only woman who has that fantasy. I’ve heard it a lot.”
Surprised, she interrupted him. “You have? Have you ever…given that to a woman before?” Even more shocking was she didn’t feel jealousy creeping up on her like she would’ve expected. She was curious and nothing more. She felt no fear or insecurities over what his answer may be.
“Yes, I have. I’ve also had women give me the same.”
They sat in silence for a few moments. She wasn’t sure what he’d meant. Did that mean he’d been with a man? How could she have never known that side to him?
“Do you understand what I mean by that?” he asked.
“You’ve done things with men,” she answered.
“No, not with men. You have a fantasy of being with more than one man. I’ve had fantasies of being with more than one woman. So while I’ve given women their fantasies, I’ve also had women indulge me in mine.”
Her stomach turned at the thought. She knew she had no right to be, but she was damn jealous. She wanted to be the only one giving him his fantasies and making him happy. No one else had that right. Sadly, she now understood how it must have felt for him when she allowed someone else to try to fulfill hers.
“Please don’t say anymore. I don’t want to know. I understand why I hurt you so bad. I can’t even think of anyone else giving you what you most want in this world. It’s just too painful.”
“Hey, hey, now I want you to stop that right now. Baby, the honesty goes both ways, okay? What I did with those women was long before I knew you.”
“I know it’s horrible of me to be jealous that another woman gave you your fantasy, but I can’t help it. It makes me sick. I want to be the one giving you everything.”
“You have. She didn’t give me what I wanted most in this world. She gave me a night of sex. There was no feelings, no emotions. My heart wasn’t connected to her like it is to you. You are what I want most in this world, honey. And you are my everything. Every fantasy, every dream I’ve ever had was you. Just you.”
She gave into her tears and let them fall. They weren’t droplets of sadness though. They were of pure joy. She was so happy. She felt so utterly complete with him. Lifting her head just barely, she placed a kiss to his chest.
“Those better not be tears I feel.”
His tone was teasing and made her laugh. “Me? Since when have you known me to cry?”
“Oh, never.”
Abruptly, and before she even knew what was happening, Derek rolled them over, his body now on top of hers while his elbows were down on the bed on either side of her shoulders as he gently stroked her cheeks with the backs of his hands.
“Whatever we do, whatever we decide, we will decide it together. When we hit a fork in the road, we’ll decide if the right or the left path is what’s best for us, and we’ll take that chance together. Nothing, and I mean this, baby, nothing will ever keep us apart again. We finally are learning about one another like we should have done years ago. Let’s not dwell on the past anymore, but concentrate on our future. On where the road ahead will take us.”
He didn’t wait for her answer. He leaned down and gave her a deep and passionate kiss. It was filled with such hope and promise that she could swear she felt his soul in that kiss.
As his mouth left hers and trailed down to her neck, she whispered, “I’ll go wherever you are, Derek. I love you.”
Chapter 21
Zach entered the breakfast room as his eyes scanned the financial section of the times. Smiling because he was pleased with some wise investments he’d made, he set the newspaper down and pulled out his chair to sit. It wasn’t until he set his napkin down on his lap that he felt eyes on him. Looking up, he saw Derek and Sandi standing in the doorway from the kitchen carrying two plates. An awkward and somewhat uncomfortable silence filled the room as they all stared at one another for a moment.
Zach decided to break the ice first “Good morning, you two.”
“Morning, man,” Derek replied while Sandi gave a polite smile and went to sit down.
“I trust you two had a nice evening? Judging from how you look, Derek, I’m guessing there was little rest though.”
He winked at Sandi as he said it. His sweet friend now seemed afraid to talk to him. In fact, she didn’t even appear to want to look at him.
Derek didn’t answer his question but gave him a knowing nod of agreement. Zach also noticed that his hand reached down to take Sandi’s hand in his. He was pleased to see his old friend and new friend had found their way back to each other. He’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he was glad to have been a part of it.
“Sandi, you look as radiant as ever. I trust your sleeping arrangements are sufficient?” Again, he smiled and winked at her hoping to break her of her nervousness.
“Yes, they’re wonderful, Zach. Thank you so much.”
Her answer came with a polite and warm smile, but he could still tell she was unsure of how to behave in front of them after the intimate moment they all shared together. He looked at her as being one of his dearest friends, and he cared for her a great deal. The last thing he wanted was to have that closeness ruined because of an intense encounter which she stumbled upon.
“So, it seems you and I both like cock then? That would explain why we get along so well,” he stated matter-of-factly.
Derek spit out his orange juice and began choking after hearing his declaration, and poor Sandi’s face was turning at least fifty shades of red. The only sounds covering the silence were the echoes of Derek choking on his drink.
“I…” Sandi was about to say something then stopped.
“Oh for Christ’s sake. I was trying to cut the tension in here with a bit of humor. I mean, this is ridiculous. We’re all friends here, right?”
Finally coming down from his coughing fit, Derek was able to interject. “Dude. What the hell? Yes, of course we’re all friends, but damn. Warn a person before you’re going to say something like that, would ya?”
“Why? It’s true. Sandi and I do both have an appreciation for the male body and all that he consists of. I was just stating the obvious. And pardon me for saying, but I don’t relish spending the next seve
ral days walking on egg shells around a sweet lady whom I thought to be my friend.”
“Oh, Zach, you don’t think that we’re not friends just because of what happened do you?” Sandi asked.
“Well, holy hell. You do have a voice.”
“Hey, man, easy,” Derek chided him.
“No, I’m not going to go easy. Look, sweetie, and please know I mean this with nothing but love and respect for you, but you clearly liked what you saw. Why am I getting the silent treatment from you today?”
He watched as she looked down at her plate, her eyes seemingly scanning the food for answers.
“I’m sorry. I truly am. I just don’t know what to say to you. Every time I look at you, I see the image replaying in my mind of what you were doing to Aiden.”
He took a sigh and placed his elbows on the table, linking his fingers together and resting his chin on his hands while deciding what to say.
“Was I mistaken? Did you not like what you’d seen?”
Zach was intrigued. He watched as Sandi looked up at Derek, and he gave her a nod of encouragement before she turned her attention back to him.
“That’s just it. I did like it. A lot, and maybe even too much.”
“Sweetie, what did I tell you last night?” Derek placed a kiss to her temple. “Zach is not here to judge you. Tell him what you’re thinking.”
“He’s right. I will not judge you. I don’t do that to people. I’ve had it done to me my whole life.”
“Okay, well, I guess you could say I found it a turn-on. The things you were all doing to Aiden and the way he was submitting to the both of you just awoke a certain desire that I’ve had.”
Zach took a look at his friend who was stroking the back of her hair. It was clear bringing them together was the best thing he’d done in a while. He had an idea that he knew what Sandi was saying, but he wanted her to be more comfortable with herself. Derek seemed to be soothing her as though he also thought it was important that she just give into who she is.
“Tell me more?”
She blushed a little. “Wasn’t that enough?”
“Only you can answer that. I would love to hear more, but I don’t want to push you into discussing things you’re not comfortable with.”
Again he stared in utter amazement as she turned to Derek for guidance, who simply nodded his head at her.
“Well, I’ve wondered what it would be like. You know, to be with more than one man.”
“Really? In the same way? Or in other ways? Tell me what you’d want them to do to you.”
Once again, he saw her turn to Derek for encouragement before she continued. The dynamics of their relationship, despite them being apart for so long, amazed him. There was a clear connection there, and Derek was definitely in charge.
She bit her lower lip and looked over at him. She looked almost impish in her innocence. “I want to be in a completely vulnerable position. On my hands and knees. One man behind me while the other is in front of me.”
“Doing what? How do you want to be taken?”
“Everywhere,” she answered in a whisper.
Her chest was starting to rise and fall a little faster. It was obvious the discussion was making her aroused.
“And I’m assuming Derek would be there as well.”
“Of course!” She snapped quickly.
“Shh…relax, sweetie. He’s only asking. No judging, remember?” Derek placed his hand behind her neck and began massaging it.
“I’m really not judging you. I’m just asking what your fantasy would entail. I am, after all, the master of this domain. I like to see people fulfill their deepest desires. Think of me as Mr. Roarke and this being Fantasy Island.”
He was glad when she smiled at him then. She’d been so nervous, he’d wondered if he’d ever see her look of happiness again.
“Okay, Mr. Roarke.”
Zach couldn’t help but chuckle. This was the Sandi he knew. Sweet and full of life.
“That’s my girl. So you want two men? You’d like Derek to be one of them, and you want them to take you everywhere? Is that right?”
“Yes.”
His cock hardened when she answered him. She was a beautiful woman. Her petite, little body had some amazing curves in all the right places. Zach was no virgin to women. He’d been with and enjoyed many encounters with women in his heyday of experimentation. He just happened to find men to be his preference. It filled a primal urge he had and only ever seemed to be met by a male. Despite all that though, he was aroused at the idea of being one of the men that Sandi would submit to.
“I see. Well, did you know that I am bisexual?”
He hadn’t been prepared for the steely glare that shot to him from Derek once he’d said that. Sandi must have felt it, too, because her expression went from a blushing smile to a look that he couldn’t quite place. She almost looked scared.
“Sandi, could you take your plate on out to the patio and finish eating? It’s a beautiful day, and you should get some fresh air,” Derek suggested to her.
“Derek, why don’t you come with me?”
Using his thumb and forefinger to lift her chin, Derek placed a small kiss to her mouth and answered her, “I have some things I’d like to discuss with Zach first. I’ll meet you outside in a few minutes.”
“Do you promise? You look upset.”
“Not at all, babe. Go on. I’ll be out shortly.”
Zach hadn’t been expecting this response from Derek. He seemed to be encouraging her to tell him what she wanted, so he was a bit confused by his friend’s sudden change in demeanor.
He waited while Derek kissed Sandi before she left the room. His old friend was calm in his mannerisms. Almost too calm. He wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like it.
Chapter 22
Derek got up from his chair and walked toward the hallway. He closed the sliding double doors to the dining area and then swung his body back around to face Zach, glad that they were alone. “You mind explaining to me just what the fuck that was all about?”
He waited while Zach removed his napkin from his lap and placed it back on the table. “Derek, let me explain.”
“I’m fucking waiting for exactly that! Because from where I’m sitting, I could almost swear that you just propositioned the woman I love into having a threesome.”
“Would you calm the hell down? You were the one sitting there encouraging her to talk about it. I figured you knew where the conversation would inevitably end up.”
Derek shook his head in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? How in the hell would I know you were going to go there? I had no idea you were into women, too.”
“All right. All right, fine. So it was a bad call and one I should’ve discussed with you first. Hell, it’s not like I pulled my dick out.”
“No, but you practically gave her an invitation to your dick though!” No longer able to control his anger, he was shouting.
Zach stood up and held his hands out. “I’m not going to ask you again to calm down! Look, obviously I made a poor choice and I’m sorry, but you were right here with us. It’s not like I pulled her into my office and offered to fuck her!”
He didn’t know why, but hearing him use those words about his woman was more than he could handle. He turned away and paced the room. The feeling to come at Zach and knock him on his ass was all too overpowering.
“Dude, what is your deal? You sat here just moments ago egging her on to tell me, another man, her deepest fantasy, and now you’re acting like a crazed, jealous maniac.”
He was right! Derek knew he was right. Jealousy was an understatement though. As much as he wanted to give her pleasure, the thought of another man taking her sent his blood boiling.
“Derek? Man, if you can’t give her those things, you cannot let her think you will. It will just confuse her,” Zach told him sternly.
A few more paces and Derek placed his hands on the buffet table
across the room. He took a few deep breaths and tried to rationalize his thoughts, knowing there was no real justification behind them. It was just good old-fashioned, territorial jealousy. He loved her. He wanted to give her all she wanted and needed to be satisfied. Just sitting and witnessing an actual discussion which may have been the first step into it actually coming to fruition was more than he was prepared for.
Shaking his head, he turned back towards Zach. “I know. You’re right. And I don’t want to confuse her. I just wasn’t prepared for you suggesting such a thing.”
“I thought we were on the same page. I never would’ve went down that path had I not thought you were thinking the same thing. I care about her. And you already know I consider you a friend. I don’t play with people’s relationships like that.”
“I believe you. As the man that loves her, I’m ready to give her everything and anything. But as a man, my ego needed a little more time to ease into it, I guess.”
Zach didn’t answer but nodded his head in understanding.
“So is it true then?” Derek asked him.
“Is what true?”
“You’re bisexual? You’ve experimented with women a lot?”
Zach laughed boisterously, “Hell yes! You think you’re the only one who can appreciate the female form? Yes, I may like men more, but being with a woman feels good.”
“True. I just had no idea. I thought it was just men for you. And after what I witnessed yesterday, I just assumed that was your thing.”
Zach came towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “That, my friend, is my thing. But I also know that Sandi is a sweet and, in many ways, scared woman. Honestly, if you’re going to have anyone be with her, I would think a man who knows that and respects you both is a much better candidate than some stranger.” He held his hands up in mock argument. “Hey, I don’t want you thinking I’m just trying to sleep with her. I’m giving it to you straight, man. I think you have to be careful. If you choose to go ahead with this, you need to consider, who would be the right man for it? Doesn’t have to be me, just be sure it is someone that will take care of her, that’s all I’m saying”
Morgan, Nicole - Intimate Confessions [Intimate Temptations 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 14
