Unable to place the voice immediately, I pressed my luck and turned to face the person who knew my old nickname. Standing in front of me was Danny Waterson. We’d had a steamy relationship back in ninth grade. Seriously. I had been so hot for that boy.
Danny would walk me home from school every day while holding my hand, proud to call me his Sunny Mac. He wasn’t the best-looking guy in school. In fact, he had quite a few pimples and was pretty short, but I didn’t care. He was a sweet guy a little older than me, in tenth grade, and even had his learner’s permit. Danny had a fantastic personality, and was constantly cracking me up. I had hung on his every word.
We had been dating for about three months when Danny dumped me for one of the cheerleaders who looked his way once he made the basketball team. At the time, I wasn’t too heartbroken. Yeah, I was hot for him, but the heart of a fourteen-year-old girl is extremely fickle. There were plenty of other guys who caught my attention to keep me more than distracted.
Then senior year, everything changed when Danny shot up to six foot three and his skin cleared up. He was absolutely gorgeous.
He was the star of the basketball team, and everyone adored him. Of course, by then he’d grown used to dating cheerleaders, and regular girls like me were completely out of the picture. We were friendly with each other, but we didn’t exactly discuss the fact that we had dated earlier in our high school careers.
I had heard that Danny had taken a year to “find himself” before going off to college. However, rumor had it that he had actually had a breakdown when no scholarships came his way.
The truth was that I had no idea he was here, at U of I. In any case, my very first boyfriend was standing behind my chair with an enormous grin plastered on his face. And I wondered if my hair looked okay. Damn it.
“How the hell are you, girl?” He leaned down to give me a strong hug.
“Danny? What are you doing here? Do you go here now?” I wasn’t sure what else to say. We hadn’t really spoken in years, so keeping the conversation light seemed like the best option.
“Yeah! It’s actually my first year. I’ve only been here a couple of months, but it’s awesome. I didn’t know you went here, Mac!”
Danny was so friendly. It almost seemed that the pressures of being the star player of the basketball team had finally left him. He seemed so much more at peace now that he no longer had to live up to anyone else’s expectations. He could be himself. He could be friendly. He could give his old girlfriend a hug.
“Yep, I’m here,” I said, trying to smooth back my hair in a nonchalant way, so he wouldn’t notice.
“What are you studying?”
“Business. You?” I found myself fidgeting, and wondered what in the hell was wrong with me.
“I’ve decided to be a teacher.”
I had to admit, I was kind of impressed. Danny as a teacher? How honorable, how interesting, how sexy.
“You know,” he continued. “So, I can coach.”
How typical.
“Ah,” I said, pursing my lips and nodding. “So, where are you living?” I glanced at my watch.
“I’m pledging Alpha Sig and just moved in last week. Are you pledging?”
Should I tell him the truth? At first I was tempted to lie, then realized I shouldn’t care what Danny thought of my choice not to go Greek. What possible effect could it have on my life if he knew that I lived in the dorms and never planned to live in a sorority house? And why did he have to show up today of all days?
I was really starting to feel a little cursed. First Jacob and now Danny, two of my high school boyfriends. Who was next…Xander, the guy who completely broke my heart? That would be the absolute icing on the cake. I decided to be noble and tell the truth about where I spent my evenings. Trying to impress him didn’t exactly seem like something I was prepared to do at that moment. Besides, lying was never my strong suit.
“Nah, I’m at Weston.”
“Ah, I have some buddies over there. Maybe I’ll stop by and see you sometime. Hey, I’d better run, I’m late for psych. Good to see you, Mac.”
He grinned as he pulled his coat on. That smile was unbelievable. His piercing blue eyes combined with his adorable dimples and very clear skin made him such a handsome man. But Danny Waterson stirred up too many emotions for my liking, so I welcomed his departure. It was time to get outside and grab some fresh air before my heart climbed right on out of my chest. What a day, and it was only twelve fifteen! I was ready for a nap.
After my two o’clock class, I met Grace at the campus bookstore. She wanted to buy a college sweatshirt for her younger brother, Gib. Ironically, Gib was like a young version of Danny. He was twelve years old, he played basketball, and the girls adored him. Unlike Danny, however, he admired me. I was the “cool” friend of his older sister.
Thinking about Gib brought my thoughts back to Danny and inevitably to Jacob. I felt guilty for blowing him off, for not telling him that I’d switched majors. And I couldn’t stop thinking about Danny’s gorgeous eyes.
Grace touched my arm. “Sunny, are you okay? You’re staring off into space.”
“Ugh, sorry. I was thinking about my morning. I ran into two high school boyfriends in a matter of two hours. It was a little overwhelming.” I groaned.
“Ooh, which ones? Have you told me about them?” Interestingly enough, although Grace didn’t date very much, she was always eager to hear about my various relationships, past or present.
“Yeah, I told you about Jacob. Probably not Danny, though. Does Danny Waterson ring any bells?”
“Nah, but I remember hearing about Jacob. Was he flustered when he saw you? You broke your streak,” she said and giggled. She knew I had been avoiding Jake, and wasn’t afraid to tease me about it.
“You’re hilarious,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Did you find what you’re looking for? It’s almost time to meet Claudia. Can we go puh-leease?” I whined like such a little preschooler. And sometimes it actually worked, but not this time.
“Chill out, will you? I already texted her. We have time.” Grace turned back to the sweatshirt display. “Now tell me…green with plaid letters or blue with gray letters? Which is better for Gib?”
“The blue, definitely. Now, let’s go.” I looked at my watch in a defiant manner. My stomach growled for the fifth time, and I was getting edgy. I was so weirded out by my encounters that I had skipped lunch, and my stomach was not happy with me at all.
Grace paid for the sweatshirt and we headed back to Weston for dinner. On the way, she brought up the initiation party that was fast approaching, and mentioned that she wasn’t sure what to wear to the party. She wanted to impress Trevor, the pledge she had a crush on, but she didn’t want to come across as desperate or needy.
“I just want him to like me. He’s so cute.” She looked starry-eyed as her cheeks blushed.
“Why wouldn’t he? There are tons of guys who would love to date you, but you never let them near you. You don’t even give them a chance.”
“Sunny, you’re only saying that because dating comes so easy for you. You like a guy and he likes you back. That doesn’t happen for me. I don’t know why, it just doesn’t.”
I gave Grace a stern look. “I know why…because you don’t give anyone a chance. You close yourself off from any situation that could lead to actually spending time alone with a guy. What are you afraid of?”
“Rejection,” she said softly. She stared at the sidewalk, as if asking the blocks of cement to help her through the conversation.
“We’re all afraid of that. I’m terrified of being rejected, but I put myself out there anyway. You’ll never know unless you try.” I gave her a little nudge and wheedled, “Claudia and I will help you.”
“Claudia wouldn’t want to help me. Guys ask her out every day. I’m sure she thinks I’m pathetic or something.” A slight tinge of jealousy lingered in Grace’s voice.
“She doesn’t think that,” I insisted.
“
Whatever.”
“Can I be honest?”
Grace shrugged, but stiffened. “Sure. Why not?”
“You send guys all the wrong signals. You either admire them from afar or you become their kid sister. And once they see you that way, it’s done. They’re not going to be interested.”
“But I like hanging out with the guys. I feel comfortable with them.”
I sighed. “I know you do. But sometimes the uncomfortable is necessary. No guy wants to kiss his little sister.”
“I know,” she mumbled under her breath.
“You don’t sound too convincing.”
“I know you’re right, it’s just scary, you know?”
I gave her my most serious glare. “This weekend, you need to talk to Trevor. And when I say that, you know what I mean. Flirt with him, dance with him, let him know you’re interested.”
“Okay, I’ll try. But I still don’t know what to wear,” Grace said with a laugh.
• • •
After dinner, the girls and I went back up to our floor. After checking for messages in the room, I left a note for my roommate, Holly, telling her that I would be down the hall in Claudia’s room.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Grace told Claudia, biting down on her lip. “Sunny and I talked, and I’m going to flirt with Trevor this weekend. I’m not going to joke around with him. I’m going to make sure he knows I like him.”
“Are you serious?” Claudia’s eyebrows shot up and she glanced at me with surprise.
“Yeah, what do I have to lose?” Grace said with a shrug. “I mean, he’s cute. And I like him.”
“Aw, our little Gracie’s all growed up,” Claudia joked.
“Shut up,” Grace said, narrowing her eyes at Claudia.
Holly poked her head inside the room and interrupted our conversation. “Um, Sunny. Sorry to bug you, but there’s a guy on the phone. Someone named Alexander. He asked me to get you.”
“Xander?” I asked in shock. I’d always heard that terrible things came in threes. Apparently it was true.
“Tell him to kiss her ass!” Claudia said as she stood up and strolled to the mirror and checked her makeup. “That lying asshole doesn’t even deserve a conversation with her!”
I could tell that Holly didn’t care much for Claudia; she thought Claudia was too abrasive. Claudia said that Holly was an airhead, and had often asked rhetorically, “How’d she even get in to this school?” Neither of them had taken any initiative to fix the awkward moments between them, so the tension took its toll on all of us. Holly was simply my roommate. And although I cared for her, she wasn’t able to get along with my best friend, and that was a problem.
Holly ignored Claudia’s statement and asked, “What would you like me to tell him, Sunny?”
Aggravation lurked in her voice; she was an awfully transparent person. Ironically, this was something that she and Claudia had in common. I could read each of them like a book.
“Nothing,” I said as I pulled my body up from the floor. “I’ll be right there. I’ll see you later, girls.”
My heart pounded in my chest as I walked toward my room. Sweat began to form on my neck and hair. Why did he have this effect on me after all this time? Before picking up the phone, I stood up straight and took a big breath.
“Hello,” I said with confidence, trying way too hard to sound casual.
“Hey, you. How’s life?” asked the cocky voice at the other end of the line.
Xander always did have a great voice—husky and deep. Lots of people in this world used the phrase, “hey, you,” but when he said it to me, I melted. It was pathetic. There was something in the way he said it, as if I were the only “you” there could possibly be.
Xander and I had dated while I was still in high school. We met at a party the summer before my senior year. My friend Kristine and her older brother Kyle used to have huge bonfires every weekend. Kyle had invited all of his college friends, and one of them was Xander, a confident and athletic blond who was an unbelievably smooth talker. We locked eyes early in the evening, and by midnight, I was hooked.
After making out behind the trees for over an hour, he’d said between kisses, “I want to see you again.”
“Okay,” I had said, while secretly planning out our first date in my brain. Wondering what I’d wear, where we’d go, and how late my parents would let me stay out. The typical hopeless romantic.
Since he was home for the summer, we began dating. We’d go to movies and then back to his house or mine for a make-out session. He said all the right things and touched all the right places. I thought he was perfect. And the naive part of me wanted to believe that it would actually last.
But when August approached, Xander had hardly any time to spend with me. When we were together, he’d go on and on about college and all the people there. He couldn’t wait to get back to Illinois State so he could party with all of them. Our dates became less frequent, and the make-out sessions were almost nonexistent. I could tell he was growing bored of me. Eventually he stopped calling. I went through a phase of denial, calling him with the assumption that he was just busy or that he’d been leaving messages that were never delivered to me by my family members. When I called, he seemed distant and detached. Shocker.
After a while, I had to call him and put him on the spot. I had to know where I stood. After a short and forced conversation, he groaned and said, “You know what, Sunny. Call Kristine. She has something to tell you.”
So, simply out of curiosity—and maybe a bit of desperation—I called Kristine.
“Oh God.” She paused. “That asshole.”
“What is it, Kris? What’s going on?” My heart was beating so fast. I was terrified of what the message could be.
“I thought he was kidding, but I guess not. Shit, Sunny, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“Xander doesn’t want to see you anymore. He asked me to tell you that.”
My heart stopped. “Wait, wait. He’s breaking up with me? And he made you do it?”
I was mortified. Completely and utterly mortified.
Kris sighed. “I want to kill him. My brother said he’s been seeing some slut named Kandice for a week or so. And he’s too much of a coward to tell you himself.”
“Oh my God,” I said, sitting on my bed, holding back tears.
“It’s not you! My brother’s friends are morons. All of them,” she said, trying so hard to make me feel better. But it didn’t work. I was in complete shock.
I had hung up the phone and cried myself to sleep that night. The very next day, I’d interviewed at the book store. I needed to keep my mind off Xander. It was then that I’d met Jacob and began dating him. I needed to forget about what had happened with Xander. I’d been played and it hurt. A lot.
Since then, I had always regarded Xander as the jerk who broke my heart. It had been comforting to know he was an hour away at ISU. He couldn’t hurt me from there. We didn’t see each other regularly, and I didn’t have to hear his name. That was, until Holly came into Claudia’s room. And now he was on the other line, calling me sexy. I was terrified.
I gripped the phone tightly and paused, then said, “I’m fine. Didn’t expect to hear from you, though.”
Xander chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it’s been a while, huh?”
“You could say that,” I said while rolling my eyes, but could feel my pulse quickening.
“Do you like Champaign?”
“Yeah, it’s awesome.”
“Cool. I’m actually going to be there this weekend.”
The world stopped.
“Really? Why?” I tried not to let him hear the hesitation in my voice. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to deal with him after the Sawyer Situation.
“Road trip with the house. We’re going to hang out with our Illini brothers. They’re having after hours. You should come.”
I made fake regretful noises and said, “Oh, sorr
y, this weekend is bad. I’m pretty busy.” For some reason, though, part of me wished I would be free this weekend.
“Oh, well,” he said, his tone good-natured. “Why don’t I just give you a call when I get into town? Maybe you can find some room for me in your busy schedule.”
“Sure, I guess.”
“It’d be great to see you again. It’s been like a year, right?” Xander’s voice was so unaffected that it pissed me off.
I stifled a snort and said, “Yeah, something like that.”
“Are you as cute as ever?” His voice dropped an octave.
Was he actually trying to butter me up? Good Lord.
“Well, I haven’t changed too much,” I said.
“That’s what I like to hear. Always a little hottie, Sunny. I loved that about you.”
Yeah, sure he did. Scumbag.
“Anyway, you…” He lingered on that word, knowing it did things to me. When I said nothing, Xander chuckled to himself. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“’Bye.”
I hung up the phone and sat down, feeling like the wind had been completely knocked out of my chest. After I calmed myself down, I went back to Claudia’s room for some counsel.
This had been one of the strangest days of my life. I felt like I was on Punk’d or some other lame “we tricked you and then caught your embarrassment on tape” type of television show. Three of my past boyfriends had contacted me in less than twelve hours. I was terrified that other “ghosts of ex-boyfriends past” would soon appear.
Back in Claudia’s room, I quickly gave my girls a play-by-play of the phone conversation with Xander.
“Nope,” Grace confidently assured me. “These things only come in threes. You’re safe.”
I decided to trust her. But just to be safe, I disconnected the phone that evening, and avoided the student union the following day.
Chapter 4
Not My Shoes!
Grace
October, the Friday night before Halloween
It was hard being the girl with two gorgeous best friends. Was I ugly? No, not really…at least, I didn’t think I was. But I was definitely the odd one out in this circle of friends, the average-looking girl who faded into the woodwork compared to Claudia with her dark, exotic looks and untouchable vibe, and Sunny with her blue-eyed blonde perfection and bubbly personality.
Sorority of Three: Freshman 101 Page 3
