by Anne Lamott
Wow: that’s the prayer I said the morning after the peace march: Wow. I felt buoyed by all those people walking slowly together down Market Street, by the memory of the peacenik dogs with kerchiefs around their necks, the Mothers in Black, and the Peace Sheep. Then, amazingly, only a few days later, the very first bulbs began to bloom. Within a week, there were dozens of daffodils in the yard. When this finally happens in late winter every year, I’m astonished. I’ve always given up. In November and December when I plant them, I get swept up in the fantasy that the earth, after so much rain, will be rich and loamy. Planting bulbs sounds like a romantic and fun thing to do, but it never is. The earth is rocky and full of roots; it’s clay, and it seems doomed and polluted, yet you dig little holes for the ugly, shriveled bulbs, throw in a handful of poppy seeds, and cover everything over, and you know you’ll never see them again—it’s death and clay and shrivel. Your hands are nicked from the rocks, your nails are black with soil. December and January have been so grim the last few years, and this year the power kept going out, and everyone was crazy as a rat. Yet here we are in February, with war drums and daffodils everywhere, and poppies waiting in the wings.
THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.)
Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.)
Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India
Penguin Group (NZ), cnr Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland 1310, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Copyright © 2005 by Anne Lamott
Cover photograph of hymn board © 2004 by Joshua Sheldon
Book design by Stephanie Huntwork
The author gratefully acknowledges permission to reprint:
“Monet Refuses the Operation” by Lisel Mueller, from Alive Together: New and Selected Poems.
Copyright 1996 by Lisel Mueller. Reprinted by permission of Louisiana State University Press. Lines from “Annunciation” by Denise Levertov, from A Door in the Hive. Copyright 1989 by Denise Levertov.
Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corp.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
RIVERHEAD is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
The RIVERHEAD logo is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
First Riverhead hardcover edition: March 2005
First Riverhead trade paperback edition: April 2006
First Riverhead ebook edition: March 2006
MSR ISBN 0-7865-6382-6
AEB ISBN 0-7865-6383-4
Making or distributing electronic copies of this book constitutes copyright infringement and could subject the infringer to criminal and civil liability.
