Maybe she’d been deprived of oxygen longer than she’d thought.
This was a first, Cade realized. He’d never mixed business with pleasure before, never taken pleasure in his business outside of having a job well done to his credit. But there was pleasure here, deep, dark, overwhelming pleasure that drew him down to a place he hadn’t been in a very long time, while sending a rush through his veins.
He couldn’t even say what it was about McKayla that unstrung him this way, making him do things he deemed not only out of line, but also completely unprofessional. But there was definitely something.
Something.
Deepening the kiss, he cupped the back of her head, wishing he never had to let go.
The woman went through life like gangbusters, a bright flare that shot off and lit the sky. And yet, there was something in the heart of the light show she created that gave him pause, that made him believe the lady was not completely tough, completely invincible, the way she wanted everyone to believe she was.
If he didn’t know better, he would have said she was even vulnerable.
There’d be no pulling back in a moment if she didn’t stop now, Mac thought. In another second, she was going to be sucked in by the vortex, and then who knew what was going to happen? She was just barely holding on to her sensibilities now.
She took a breath, trying to steady a pulse that could no longer be counted on to be measured by any medical instrument known to man.
The breath didn’t help.
“Boy, when you make up your mind to do something, you go right out and do it with a vengeance, don’t you?” Mac asked when she finally managed to end the kiss. Her eyes searched his face for answers to questions she couldn’t even completely form in her mind. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this unsteady before, like someone trying to get their footing while standing on a mound of gelatin.“ Was that your idea of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?”
Humor glinted in his eyes. Cade had come very close to breaking every rule he’d made for himself. Rules that he’d never had to even mildly contemplate enforcing before. “Maybe.”
“Which of us were you resuscitating?”
Cade slowly swept tentative fingers along her cheek, brushing back hair he’d mussed. Savoring the feel of her. Wishing he could indulge more, knowing he shouldn’t. “I’m not sure.” He was right, she looked as shaken, as unsure as he felt. “Both, I think.”
Her eyes held his for a long time. Touched by the humor, she felt like a flower being coaxed open beneath a warm sun. Still, she knew there was a step to be taken here, but whether it should be forward or backward, she wasn’t certain. Nor did she know anymore if it was her choice or his. What had he done to her?
“So now what?”
It was up to him, Cade thought. Up to him to set the tone and create the distance. Because he’d been the one to shatter it. Forcing himself to release her, he backed away. Then, bending down, he picked up her chair before reaching for his own. “We get back to finding things out about each other.” He sat down again.
“I think we just did,” she murmured under her breath.
He heard her. “You’re right, maybe that is enough for now. We can get back to this—to talking,” he interjected when he realized that she might think he meant to take what had just happened between them to its logical conclusion.
Nothing logical about blowing up the known world and starting again from scratch, he told himself.
She was nodding, finishing his statement for him before he had the chance. “After the appointment tomorrow.”
“Exactly.”
Except it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, Cade thought, because it wasn’t what he meant. And if he wasn’t completely mistaken, neither did she.
The digital display on the bedside clock showed that it was two o’clock. Three minutes past two, to be exact. Mac hadn’t had a wink of sleep since she’d retired to her room.
More like “retreated,” Mac thought, disgusted with herself. What was the matter with her, anyway? This wasn’t about her, or the funny way she was feeling, it was about Heather and recovering her. And only about Heather. She should be out there, laying strategy, not in here, doing an imitation of a spinning top.
She was too wound up to sleep. Again. And this time, if she were being honest with herself, it wasn’t just because of Heather’s kidnapping. If this kept up, she was going to turn into a zombie, looking exactly like one of the walking dead. She wished there was a pool around. Maybe if she did a hundred laps, she’d be able to fall asleep and get at least a few minutes in before they had to get going again.
She glanced toward the common wall she and Cade were sharing. A thousand laps was more like it, she amended ruefully. Without meaning to, she touched her fingers to her lips. And quietly sighed.
A few minutes later, she heard Cade knock on her door. As she opened it, she dragged her other hand through the hair hanging in her eyes, and blinked uncomprehendingly as she looked at him.
She looked more tired than Cade had expected. He’d listened to her restless movements for as long as he could before he’d gotten up to check on her. It made him want to take her into his arms again. Careful, Townsend, that’s what started all this in the first place. “Anything I can help with?”
“Excuse me?”
He nodded toward the bed behind her. It looked like the scene of an unresolved skirmish. “You’ve been prowling around in here like a caged tiger for the last few hours. Is there anything I can do?”
No, you’ve already done enough, Mac thought.
She shook her head. “You’re doing as much as you can.” She had to blame this on something and said the first believable thing that came to mind. “Just opening-night jitters, I guess.”
The fact that she was admitting to a weakness, an insecurity, told him that he had suddenly found himself in a very rare club. He had a feeling Mac was showing him a side of herself that others rarely got to see.
By nature, he wasn’t a demonstrative man. He didn’t fall into the touchy-feely category that so many others of his acquaintance were in. So it caught him as much by surprise as it did Mac when he covered her hand with his. “You’ll be fine.”
Mac’s mind reverted back to the real problem. She wished she could believe that, she thought. Wished that she could believe that all this would have a happy ending. That she could give Heather back to her sister.
It was the uncertainty of it that was driving her crazy.
Breaking contact, she moved toward the one large window in the bedroom. She stared out but only saw miles and miles of desert.
Trying not to shiver, Mac ran her hands up along her arms. “I don’t know.” That sounded so shaky, she thought, but she just couldn’t help herself. She was afraid. Really afraid. Needing something to hang on to, she turned toward him. “What if I—”
Cade knew where this was going. Had taken the journey himself. He placed his finger to her lips, silencing the doubt, not letting it emerge.
“The what-ifs will drive you crazy if you let them.” His eyes were kind as he smiled into hers. “The trick is not to let them. Worrying is just wasting energy that could be put to better use.”
For the second time that day, Mac felt her heart stop. Or did this count as two days? She didn’t know, and she didn’t really care. What mattered was the man standing before her, offering her hope. Asking for nothing in return. Making her want to give so much.
“Just what sort of use did you have in mind?” Was that her asking that question, or was she just thinking it? She couldn’t tell.
Oh, there were things he wanted to do with her, Cade thought. Wild, impossible, head-spinning, mind-blowing things that he couldn’t allow himself to even think about, much less indulge in. So instead, he ran his fingers along her cheek, cupping it for a moment, letting the softness of her skin seep into his consciousness before withdrawing his hand.
“Anyone ever tell you that you ask too many questions?”
Mac suddenly realized exactly what she wanted from him, and it startled her. She wanted a haven from the storm swirling around her. A reprieve from her thoughts. All of them. Did that make her weak? Was she failing someone by feeling this way? “How else am I going to learn?”
Oh, God, Cade had never been this tempted before, never felt desire knocking so hard against his paperthin door. For two cents...
No, not for all the money in the world. He’d be guilty of violating a trust. Hers—and his in his own integrity.
“Some things are better left alone, McKayla. Now, get some sleep.” He was already backing away. Backing away before he forgot all his own promises and took her the way everything within him begged him to.
The room was meant to put the occupants who crossed its threshold at ease. So was the manner of the distinguished, hospitable older man who was sitting behind his sturdy oak desk, talking to them.
If she didn’t know any better, Mac would have sworn she’d made a mistake.
But she did know better. And she had to hang on to that thought. That, and the fact that she, that they were going to get Heather back.
“A great many women who have sat in that chair have said the very same things to me, Mrs. Sinclair.” With an encouraging smile, Dr. Erasmus Lambert looked directly into Mac’s eyes.
If there was a smoother liar in the world, she didn’t want to meet him, Mac thought.
She’d just spent the last twenty-five minutes “pouring out her heart” to a man who could have easily played Father Christmas in the next holiday pageant. Kindly, with a full head of white hair, Dr. Lambert had possibly the friendliest face she had ever seen. She could see how others could be so easily taken in by him. He projected a compassion that soundlessly and quickly destroyed all barriers between the patient and himself, simultaneously turning him into a father confessor and granter of dreams all in the same breath.
Putting the proper hitch in her voice, Mac reached for Cade’s hand as she continued looking at Lambert. “And did they all become mothers?”
Lambert’s smile was almost beatific as it shone on her. “Eventually.”
Playing the part of the skeptical husband, Cade challenged him with just the proper touch of hope in his voice. “You have that much of a success rate?”
Lambert leaned back and gestured at the bulletin board behind him. Photographs of newborns and toddlers overlapped one another in a gay profusion of silent laughter as well as happiness.
“In one way or another.”
Raising her chin defensively, Mac said, “Then I’ll have to be ‘another.’ ” Slanting only a cursory glance toward Cade, she went into the story they had rehearsed. “I can’t have children, Doctor. I was raped when I was twenty.” Her voice quavering, Mac paused before continuing. It wasn’t her story. It belonged to a woman named Julia Sinclair. A woman as it turned out to be, in an odd quirk of fate that told her they were all somehow interrelated in this world, Kane Madigan’s sister-in-law. “The man was someone I knew. I was too ashamed to go to the police, to even tell anyone until it was too late.”
“Too late?” There was nothing but compassion in his voice.
Biting her lower lip, Mac nodded as Cade clasped her hand in his. She purposely avoided the doctor’s eyes in a show of embarrassment. “The infection I came down with evolved into endometriosis.” Peripherally, she saw the older man nodding his head. “I’ve been to a dozen specialists and they’ve all said that I...that I can’t have children.” Twisting on the wedding ring she had recently put on to complete the part, she paused, swallowing a sob. Under control, Mac raised her eyes to Lambert’s. “I’ve come to you looking for a miracle.”
“In vitro pregnancies are science, not miracles, Mrs. Sinclair, but—”
“We’ve tried that as well,” Cade said. He shook his head. “It didn’t work. All it did was raise my wife’s hopes over and over again, just to shatter them. I don’t want her going through any more grief.”
“I see.”
Pressing her lips together, Mac forged ahead. “I know I can never carry a baby within my body, Doctor. I’ve accepted that. But I do want to carry one in my arms. My husband and I desperately want to adopt a baby.”
“And you’ve come to me because—”
“Because we’ve heard that we stand a better chance attempting a private adoption,” Cade told him. “The regular route would take years, and I might not have years, Doctor.”
“I beg your pardon?” Lambert frowned.
It was Mac’s turn to cut in. Together they were attempting to behave like a couple who knew each other well enough to finish each other’s sentences. “My husband has been diagnosed with a heart condition, Doctor. No official agency is going to allow a child to be placed with a family where the father has already had one heart attack and might have another, more fatal one.” Clutching Cade’s hand, she leaned forward on the edge of her seat. “You are our only hope, Dr. Lambert.”
Very slowly, Lambert nodded. “Adoption agencies want only the best for the children they place—”
“We can give the child the best. The best love, the best home, the best of everything. We have the money. Just because something ‘might’ happen years down the line—and might not—is not a reason to deny us the love of a child, or a child our love.” Mac’s voice vibrated with passion.
“Very well put, Mrs. Sinclair.” Rising from his seat, the doctor crossed to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I’m on your side,” he assured her. “As a matter of fact, my wife and I found ourselves in the exact same position you are in some years ago. That was how I got into this area to begin with. Because I understand what it feels like to be deprived of something that is so very basic to the perpetuation of the family—a child.” He paused, looking from Cade to Mac. “You’re completely certain you don’t want to try m vitro—”
“Positive,” Mac cut in. “I don’t think I could stand facing the disappointment again. It’s like having my heart slashed out of my chest.” Thinking of Heather, her eyes filled with tears. “I’ve been through it so many times before.”
Lambert looked at her with sympathy. “I understand.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. You’re the answer to a prayer, Doctor.”
The smile on Lambert’s lips told Mac that he thought of himself in exactly the same light.
Chapter 10
“So now we play the waiting game?” Mac asked under her breath as Cade walked out with her from the eighth-floor office.
They had just spent the last hour with the doctor, answering questions, filling out forms and filling in gaps of information. The parade of questions began to seem endless, but they’d met the challenge. At the end of the session, Lambert had told him he felt confident that there was a child in their near future. He escorted them to his inner office door, saying he would be in touch. When Mac had pressed for a date, he had only said “soon.”
Walking beside her, Cade could see that Mac was having trouble containing her agitation. Not that he could blame her. He’d feel the same way in her position. He would have sold his soul to be in her position.
He pressed for the elevator. “That’s the plan.”
“I’m not sure I can wait.”
With his hand on the small of her back, he ushered her in as the doors drew back. There was no one else in the car. “We have no alternative.”
Mac stared at Lambert’s office door as the elevator doors closed. She wanted to push the doors apart and run back into the office.
“Why can’t we just go in and get him? Get them all?” That made sense, didn’t it? They had the proof they needed. And she had noticed that there were two young nurses in the office, neither of whom matched the DMV photograph they had. It only reinforced the feeling for Mac that they were running out of time. “He’s got Heather. If we lose him—”
Even though they were the only ones on the elevator, Cade kept his voice low. “Redhawk has men watching both offices and Lambert�
��s home.” To keep up the charade, and because he felt she needed some show of comfort, Cade placed his arm around her shoulders. “There’re no babies going anywhere without either his or one of his men knowing it, McKayla.”
The doors opened. Mac walked out, feeling as if she was in a daze, operating on automatic pilot. “But Redhawk said he couldn’t—”
“Unofficially,” Cade said significantly. Looking around, he located his car and began to walk toward it. “He has people working on the case when they’re officially off duty, as a favor to him. And Redhawk’s doing it as a favor to Kane.”
It was just as Mac had thought earlier. She had a great many people to be grateful to.
They walked slowly toward the rented car. All around them, there were cars cruising the heavily trafficked lot, looking for parking spaces. Cade wondered if one of the cars seemingly meandering belonged to someone who was actually in the process of tailing them. It wouldn’t have taken long to get the word out, and Lambert had stepped out of the room for several minutes while they were filling out forms.
Mac stopped at their car. “And there’s no getting in contact with Lieutenant Redhawk for us?”
Reaching over, Cade unlocked the passenger door for her. “Not physically. We can still call him—from a pay phone.”
Mac sat down, turning to look at Cade as he slid in behind the wheel. “He couldn’t have the cell phones bugged—”
He never made the mistake of underestimating the enemy. Until Darin was taken from him, he’d gone through life with blinders on. But the blinders were now permanently off.
Cade laughed softly to himself. “It’s easier picking up the signal from a cell phone than you’d imagine.”
Mac shook her head, buckling up as he started the car. “All this intrigue makes my life as a dentist seem pretty tame.”
Hero in the Nick of Time Page 12
