The Preppers Lament

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The Preppers Lament Page 6

by Ron Foster


  Preparation of food was all about “how to make it with less firewood” and trying to use less water. Rocket stoves worked for the first part, but clean up and preparation was a never ending task of hauling and purifying water.

  Because David had himself a pretty good store of freeze dried and dehydrated food, most of the preparation was simple and took about as long it took to fix boiling water.

  “Yes sinks still full of water, but it’s kind of dirty and greasy from washing all the pots and pans, the rinse water is alright though. What do you need water for darling? I can heat up some more water for you if you need me too.” Julie said bustling back towards the kitchen and pausing before starting to ladle up some water with a saucepan out of a 2 1/2 gallon bucket that was sitting on the floor.

  Julie had already been through the slow process of adjusting to the water shortage and the accumulating trash. At first people tried to keep themselves and the yard as clean they could, but without all the normal services, like garbage trucks, running water and all other community services that make normal living simple, soon it became impossible to not value even dirty water and as far as the trash went it either got piled up on a curb or got burned.

  “Maybe later I will have you heat some more up but not right now. Just leave what you got water wise in the sinks for moment and maybe I can use it. Mike and I have a deer to clean and it will get kind of nasty and dirty around here for a bit. Come to think of it, let me go talk to Mike first and then we may just decide to put that carcass on my Deer cart and drag it on over to his place. That rationale of doing it off property sort of makes sense to me for a number of reasons at the moment. I won’t go into the wisdoms of it all, but I want to get his input on doing it. Julie, I want you to please stay here and hold the fort down for a bit sweetie and I will go walk on over there and roust that rascal Mike for some help butchering that deer.” David said glancing at the dirty grey dishwater in the kitchen for a moment and then grabbing a Clorox wipe instead to remove the last traces of grime and blood on his hands. At least getting rid of guts and garbage in the country wasn’t that big of an ordeal. David could just imagine the garbage in the cities as it began piling up everywhere, when you add to that broken down or out of gas vehicles on the street, human waste and dead bodies it was a very ugly picture that he was glad he and his nose had some distance from.

  “You know those neighbors across the street are going to see you if you start dragging that deer down the road on a cart.” Julie stated raising one questioning eyebrow.

  “I am trying to decide what to do about that particular bump in the road now. I hate having to deal with them and be all friendly just after trying to put the fear of god in them about keeping their distance from us. Well we will figure it out and if you would please, why don’t you spy on their house a bit with the binoculars as I walk past it and see how much attention they give me while I am passing by. They shouldn’t even notice me and be out somewhere engaged in their own woods building snares or something but you never can tell.” David said opening the front door and glancing off in the distance at what bits he could see of their houses front porch.

  “I really think that they took your message to heart David and they will be minding their P`s and Qs trying to fend for themselves or getting ready to bug out. I bet you that they are probably out in the sticks right this moment trying their hand at trapping, but then again they might be curious about that shot you fired and be watching over here out of general or hungry curiosity.” Julie said peering over David’s shoulder and looking in the same direction for any signs of movement.

  “I will probably end up giving them a little roast or something anyway from the deer. But for now they are on their own and best mind their own business until I can talk to Mike.” David began saying before catching a glimpse of a figure approaching on the far side of his circular driveway.

  “Well damn Julie! Speak of the Devil and guess who comes walking up to my door! “David said before stepping out on his door stoop and waving at Mike who was beginning to walk down the somewhat steep dirt and rock graveled driveway.

  Mike was carrying what David knew to be a nice 4x powered scoped bolt action wood stocked .270 rifle slung across one shoulder and he had on a colorful mismatched assortment of multi-layered clothes in order to be bundled up for the chill of late March. As far as David knew that hunting rifle was his sole possession of the firearms hunting or defensive nature unless he or his wife over the years had acquired a pistol that he knew that she and her husband had on their wish lists.

  Times were tough and military disability pay and odd jobs didn’t go far. David knew the couple had hopes of doing some prepping and he had given them a SilverFire Rocket stove and a nice Smith and Wesson Knife from his extra preps that he had accumulated as an occasional survival gear reviewer and evaluator when they first moved in as his housewarming present to them and prepper buddy introduction years ago, but he hadn’t kept up with their efforts to acquire goods or more survival tools for themselves over the years. He guessed now was the time they had decided to see if he was serious about his intentions of providing each other mutual aid if the poo did hit the fan as they had previously agreed upon. Mike had probably heard David’s gun shot and was coming over to check out what it was he had been shooting at.

  “Hello there Mike my friend! Long time no see, you old soldier.” David said walking out a short distance to the driveway and enthusiastically shaking the man’s hand.

  “Hi there David, nice to see ya buddy. I heard the shot and thought I would come check on you and see what you were firing at.” Mike said before Julie gave her friendly greetings and customary hug for all well-wishers or friends of David’s. .

  “No worries buddy, matter of fact I was just about to walk up to your place and come get you. I shot myself a nice deer and I figured that you might possibly be in the mood to help field dress him in trade for half the meat, but we need to talk more about how we are going to divvy it up before we start fleshing it out.” David said stopping a moment before telling him any further details in order to ask him if he wanted some hot coffee on this cold blustery day.

  “ Coffee would be great, that is if you already got some made” Mike said before being quickly assured by Julie that it would only take her a minute to make a fresh pot and then asking the boys if they were coming inside for a visit or staying out in the cold to deal with the deer.

  “We are going to go pick up that deer in the woods first Julie and move him closer to the house. He surely should be bled out by now and it won’t take us but a minute to fetch him home. We will come in the house for coffee with you and warm up when we get back before getting started field dressing on him. Come on Mike! Let’s quit fooling around and go get that part of the task out of the way. I need to go over here and get my deer cart out of the shed first though. That tasty deer is laying only about 75 yards away from here close to the stand. Won’t take us more than 10 minutes to go grab it and haul it back.” David said fetching his shotgun and leading Mike to the backyard to unlock and open a 20x14 metal storage shed. Mike slung his rifle over his shoulder and followed along scanning the wood line.

  “To be honest with you David, I am very glad you got lucky and got yourself a deer today. I was hoping you were not just out squirrel hunting and maybe had a bit of something from your hunting efforts I could talk you into to sharing with us. Food is getting mighty tight over at my place and the deer around my place are so skittish and high strung with all the hunters in the woods that I haven’t even seen a clear shot or for that matter a deer in days. My cold bones have been sitting out on my stand every morning and dusk watching and waiting for nothing.” Mike said forlornly.

  “Well then it’s your lucky day my backwoods buddy, that’s a fine of a 6 pointer deer that you will ever see that I managed to shoot this morning. There he is lying over there by the gully. See him?” David said jubilantly as he now let Mike take a turn and pull the two wheeled cart down the forest tr
ail instead of him. David was always good at instigating or conniving to get younger folk to use their youthful muscles and enthusiasm to perform a task regardless whether or not he could easily do it for himself.

  It was to him, a sort of southern respect your elders’ thing that he sort of did to have some mischievous fun while playfully cajoling or tricking someone into sharing the harder part of a task that David needed to work on and that he just as soon get out of.

  “I take it that Mike you didn’t get much of a chance to prep for hard times as bad as these ones we are going through now” David said cautiously wondering if Mike had prepared for himself and his family much at all.

  “Well David you know how it is; new shoes and clothes for kids, low pay etc. Just seems like every time I was planning on making some prepper purchase something would come along and take away all the extra money. Seems pretty much every time I turned around, just simple everyday living or unexpected bills and expenses would pop up and short sheet my bank account.” Mike said wistfully.

  “I got some stuff put back for this apocalypse that I might be able to let you borrow, but nobody, I am telling you now, nobody unless they were Rockefeller could afford to prep for something of this magnitude. You wouldn’t believe how much it would cost to even try to and like you say a dollar doesn’t go very far anymore. The only reason I have the amount I have is that I started prepping several years earlier. You will however be happy to know though that I planned on my stored food running out and prepped extra food procurement items like traps and snares enough for the both of us to use if you’re up for it. My motto has sort of been “have it on hand when you do not need it, but get it when you can find it and afford it so that you will have it around before you actually need it. I need you Mike, one man is not going to be able to provide food and security around here by his lonesome. We got to team up together and practice some community survival as I told you a long time ago” David said warily watching Mike’s reaction.

  Authors note: One of the most basic rules in preparing and acquiring things for SHTF is that you need to have it before you need it. You may think „oh, but that is so obvious“yes and no. Sometimes it is not. When the poo hits the fan you may find out that it is very important to have any number of things you can no longer buy. You need to think and explore more about what weaknesses you have in your own preps and how to fix them before SHTF. Also do not think only about „ what things do I need”? You should feel free to think about what things are other people maybe going to need? “Because you are going to trade in these kinds of items with others if you can.

  If you look around at society in general and keep in mind when SHTF actually does occur the term “useful things“ takes on a whole new light and meaning. Now we are not talking about the fact that for some people it is priority to loot the mall and steal useless TV sets, stereos or something similar first chance they get. Hopefully during this period of craziness a lot of ammo gets wasted on them idiots from law-abiding folks and by the hoodlums themselves in internal squabbles with their own evil elements. Candles, batteries, lighters, canned food, spices, small tools, pocket knives etc. you know small concealable things are what is valuable and good for barter. Acquire things that are easy to carry and easier to sell later now when their priced cheap. I would say even get visionary about it if you got the bucks or barter. I bet condoms will still sell. Also think of things that you think will gain value over the time, possibly even multiple times over in value. Stuff like seeds, plants and knowledge about medicinal plants and herbal teas for healing etc. When a few months pass and people finally realize that the lights are going to stay out for a longer period than they can imagine and no doctors, no hospitals etc occurs, then diseases will also start spreading of course and you will see that homemade remedies suddenly become very popular and at the same time much more expensive to procure. That is if you can find any or anyone selling such.

  “I told you David I would be here for a disaster and now here I am on your doorstep ready willing and able.” Mike said with a smile while helping David hoist the deer on the cart and balance the load.

  “I know you are buddy and I thank you, but there are a few things we need to discuss further such as just how screwed we are at this very moment and how hard it will get for us to even get out of bed in the morning and try to hunt later .Or for that matter for us to even attempt to make a crop in that big field you have. I know that sort of work don’t sound like so much now, but we will soon be expending more calories trying to get food and stay warm than we will be getting from our efforts. We need to watch that. It don’t take very long to over exert yourself or become malnourished just trying to survive. We also need to consider how desperate everyone has become around us now or is going to be getting all too soon and try to make ourselves a plan. You know that right now, this minute, some single mom somewhere is probably sitting down with the last can of peas in the house and divvying it up between her three small starving children… Some father or grandfather is pissed about that and out hunting to feed his family and he knows coming back empty handed is not an option….The crack heads and looters are starting to do day time break-ins to businesses and those thieves already rule the night so you got to worry about the home front as well when you are out in the woods. I am telling you the pins already been pulled out of the hand grenade and its smoking!” David said resolutely and pulled the cart along with Mike’s help back to his house.

  “David at least we can take satisfaction in the notion that we got ourselves deer and other critters to eat in the woods for now and count our blessings. I imagine we should be alright for some time to come as long as the other hunters don’t wipe out or scare off all the game in the area”. Mike said confident that he thought that between the two of them that they could procure enough food to feed themselves and their families.

  “There is something to be said about that bit of good fortune for now Mike. However, I don’t think you have really considered just how much game that is going to take us hunting and trapping to just keep ourselves above the starvation level. I got an article I want you to look at and study by Russ Gilmore called Living Off The Land: Delusions and Misconceptions About Hunting and Gathering. (Full article is at end of this book) Anyway if we look for example at what this deer means to us food wise we get an estimate. “Deer: a mature buck typically yields about 70 pounds of meat (1,120 ounces) (University of Wisconsin study 2006). Venison is a lean meat, with about 53 calories per ounce (USDA SR-21). The meat of a mature buck will therefore give you 59,360 calories, which will be sufficient for 18 days of food at the 3,300 calories per day requirement. If you are eating the internal organs as well, that will probably get pushed to about 20-21 days of food. (Gilmore 2014)”

  “Now think about it Mike, take 18 days of food for one person then divided by your family (two adults 3 children) add Me and Julie, you get 18 divided by 5 leaving us with about 4 days worth of food if we were eating like lumberjacks to keep up with all of the wood cutting, water hauling, trapping, hunting, gardening etc.” David concluded

  “I never threw that calorie count calculation into the mix before and that don’t even take into account if we can keep the meat preserved, share any of it with neighbors, waste or feed the dogs some etc.” Mike said rubbing about a week and half’s worth of beard stubble worriedly.

  “They got some emergency food relief coming into the cities Mike, but I am telling you right now that will be depleted in probably a week or so and then its spin in the wind time for everyone. Hell man ,you know yourself it’s already far too dangerous to even get around those food drops with your family these days with all the desperate folks both old and young pushing and shoving to get something, hell anything for that matter they can yell about, scuffle over or grab to eat or drink.

  The surrounding area sidewalks and roads coming to and going away from aid and disbursement stations has opportunistic punks with a mind for criminal stealing, mugging folks or worse gathering and lurkin
g about. Sorry bastards will lay in wait for folks like highway men I am telling you Mike with fist, gun or knife to take what they can. No compassion for or value of human life at all, those people are just hell bent to rob and take. Keep in mind a favorite of those damn thugs is that they will try and rob you in your own driveway like you’re some little old lady who just got back from the grocery store. This has happened in the city several times before around here when times were not this tough and cops and helping neighbors were something for a thief to fear. There isn’t any gas to be had for any price once whatever you got in your cars tank is run out. The National Guard is barely moving their trucks around themselves except maybe to guard distribution points when a relief truck comes in. One of the main plans of that cyber-attack we got hit with was to bleed the U.S. and hemorrhage it economically, causing a catastrophic and utter economic collapse. You can rest assured that other countries are probably not studying our letters of credit to buy imports or finance exports at the moment and that list of goods will include the electric parts and food everybody needs. A year from now, most likely the countries entire electrical power grid system will be history, and destroyed, never to work again. No parts, no gas and crews, no food for workers and families, no recovery” David said fatalistically.

 

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