“I don’t know.” And then she laughed at herself. When had life gotten so complicated, so out of control? She used to know herself so much better than she did now. “I can’t even make up my mind about that.”
“There are a lot of contributing factors at play here. It’s not cut-and-dried.”
His words almost gave her hope. Almost. But this was Trent. Trent, who she had treated badly. Trent, who she should have married when he’d asked her. By rights, he shouldn’t want to have anything to do with her. Instead, he was trying to help her. Help her son. “Why are you being so understanding?”
He shrugged good-naturedly. “Nature of my job, I guess.”
“But I left you.”
Intellectually, he knew why. It was just that emotionally it had hurt like hell. “You were scared.”
What kind of a man forgave like that? Men like that existed on the screen, in the conclusion of romantic comedies. They didn’t walk the earth. Everyone had thought she was the luckiest woman in the world when she’d “caught” Matt because he was so fantastic—but he hadn’t been.
“I still left you,” she insisted. “Badly, as I remember. And then I turned around and married Matt less than six months after that.” She was talking faster now, reviewing all the things he should have held against her. “Matt talked me out of finishing college.” How could she have been so stupid? “God, my mother was so angry about that. Angry that I gave up everything for Matt.” There had been more to it than that. More to her mother’s anger about the union, but he didn’t need to know that. It was hard enough to live with as it was.
Trent recalled that he had always liked Laurel’s mother, a strong, independent woman. “She wasn’t impressed by his wealth?”
“My mother was more impressed by you,” Laurel confessed. “By your kindness.”
She paused and flushed ruefully. “I never told you that, did I?”
“No.”
“My mother didn’t exactly trust men, not after what my father…Not after my father,” she ended, not wanting to go there. “But she did like you. Said you had wonderful eyes.” And he did, she thought as she looked at them now. Warm, kind, beautiful eyes.
“Got to remember to put that on my résumé,” Trent quipped.
They were sitting close now, closer than he’d intended, and tension seemed to shimmer between them. The kind of tension that crackled and flashed until it was given what it demanded.
The pull that had been there ever since he’d first seen her standing in the doorway of his office. Suddenly it became a force that couldn’t be ignored. Leaning forward, Trent lightly skimmed his knuckles along the hollow of her cheek. Something flared in her eyes. Desire.
The same desire that now throbbed insistently in his veins. For one small moment in time, he wasn’t Trent Marlowe, child psychologist. He was just Trent Marlowe, a college student who was hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with a young woman he had known since the fourth grade. And had wanted since the beginning of time.
Tilting his head, Trent softly brushed his lips against hers, half expecting Laurel to pull back. But she didn’t. She remained exactly where she was. And kissed him back. Laurel parted her lips, offering up a silent invitation. He slipped his arms around her, drew her closer and deepened the kiss as he felt a rush surge through his veins.
Chapter Seven
Laurel’s head was spinning wildly. It had been so long since she’d felt this way. Nearly a lifetime ago.
She’d forgotten how dizzying it was to kiss Trent. For a split second, the years abruptly melted away. They were college freshmen again with the whole world and its opportunities spread out in front of them.
Before the fear had all but crippled her and pulled her away. There was an incredible innocence back then, even though the chemistry between them had sizzled. She had never slept with him. And he had been so achingly patient with her.
Oh God, she’d missed him. Missed feeling as if she could soar with the eagles into a cloudless sky that was so clear, so blue, it almost hurt. Because she so desperately needed it, Laurel surrendered herself to the sensation, to the moment, knowing that she would be safe. Though every system within her had gone on red alert, warring between desire and fear, she knew she was safe. Trent never pressed her to do anything she didn’t want to do. She knew this wouldn’t go beyond where it was right now.
Cody and Trent’s sister were in the house and could, at any moment, come looking for them. She didn’t really even want Cody to see her kissing another man. But she couldn’t stop.
The knowledge that they weren’t alone gave her a sense of security, of having a safety net directly beneath her tightrope. It left her free to wrap her arms around Trent and her soul around the fiery longing that ran through every inch of her body.
One more second and he would be over the brink.
One more second of this and he was just going to pick Laurel up and carry her to her bedroom—wherever the hell that was in this mausoleum of a house. He couldn’t risk it. There was too much at stake. Not to mention that Kelsey was here. With great effort, Trent drew his lips away from Laurel’s. Shaken, they stared at one another, the silence throbbing, underscored by the sound of their mutual breathlessness. Trent knew he should apologize, or at least make an attempt. But nothing came to him. Other than wanting to kiss her again. He didn’t want to apologize for doing something that made him feel so alive.
Still, he had to do the right thing. There was a severe conflict here. Laurel might not be his patient, but her son was. He was pretty certain that sealing lips—and other body parts—with a patient’s mother was frowned on by the ethics board.
But, rather than a halfhearted apology, a confession came to his lips. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” He paused before forcing out the words, “I’m sorry.”
Laurel needed to pull herself together, but she couldn’t quite manage it. She wasn’t sorry. Just scared. “Sorry that you did it, or sorry that you wanted to do it?”
The question took Trent by surprise and he paused for a moment, thinking. “I don’t know,” he finally said, honestly. “I’ll have to get back to you on that.”
“As long as you get back to me,” she said in a whisper, intending the words more for herself than for him. But he’d heard her. And he wanted to. Oh God, he wanted to. He wanted to get back to her in every sense of the word. To make love with her slowly, languidly, the way they never had before when they were together. He’d held himself in check back then, always stopping before crossing that last line. Because that worthless excuse of humanity, her father, had abused her as a child, any kind of intimacy was difficult for Laurel. She had an inherent distrust of it—
and ultimately of any man—even as they were drawn to each other.
Trent could understand that. And since he was dealing with issues of his own, he was patient with her. The trouble was, because of the way he felt about her, he’d ultimately worked out his issues but she hadn’t worked out hers. He hadn’t realized that until the day he’d proposed to her. She’d paled before his eyes and left him. Ran from him.
It had hurt like hell.
He’d struggled to get it out of his system and eventually had. Or so he’d thought. He’d believed that after working so hard he was finally over her. Until she’d turned up in his office with those soft doelike eyes of hers that could always burrow through his skin and hit him where he lived. You just never get over some people, he thought now, as he tucked a stray hair behind Laurel’s ear. His pulse continued to race. Laurel had been his first love and that had left a huge imprint on his heart.
So had her leaving.
And now he was trying to deal with a new element. Trying to come to terms with the fact that she’d left him and married someone else less than six months later. Why had she trusted this corporate superstar and not him?
It didn’t make sense.
From what he’d read on the Internet, the late Matt Greer hadn’t been a bad-look
ing man and, yes, he’d been born with a platinum spoon in his mouth. Moreover, the fiercely competitive Greer had gone on to triple his worth by the time he’d reached his thirtieth birthday. But Laurel wasn’t the type who cared about the size of a man’s bank account.
Was she?
How well did he really know the woman who’d broken his heart? Trent didn’t have an answer for that.
“You’re staring at me,” Laurel told him self-consciously. Did he think she was terrible? Was she terrible? Laurel didn’t want to think so, but the truth was, she wasn’t really sure what she was, other than utterly confused.
His eyes held hers. The moment stood still. “Just thinking.”
“About?” She held her breath. If Trent thought she was awful, she had to hear it from him.
“What might have been. And wasn’t.”
Her heart stood still. And then ached. She owed him an explanation.
But how could she tell him that she’d married Matt, not because she’d wanted to, but because she’d had to? What she’d told him before about being swept off her feet had been a lie. The truth was, if she hadn’t said yes, hadn’t married Matt, her mother would have died. Her mother knew why she’d married Matt—even if Matt, because of his enormous ego, hadn’t realized why until later. And it was the one note of discord between them. Her mother had felt guilty about needing the funds and angry with herself for what she had reduced her daughter to. It was one of the reasons Grace Valentine never warmed to her son-in-law. Because in her eyes, her daughter had prostituted herself so that she could have triple-bypass surgery. Her mother’s heart had gone on beating while hers had effectively stopped.
“Don’t go there,” Laurel entreated.
He laughed shortly. “Hard not to.”
Laurel shook her head. “Won’t change anything. There aren’t any time machines around, Trent. And no way to change the past no matter how much we want to. There’s just now.”
“And the future.” Was there a future with her? If he wanted it, was there?
She shook her head again. She was no longer the wide-eyed girl, clinging to tiny shreds of optimism and hoping that they would grow into a feeling, a philosophy. A way of life. If she had any hope left within her at all, it was all directed toward her son and, she prayed, his well-being.
“There’s just now,” she repeated.
“Laurel—”
Trent got no further. Whatever he was going to say was cut short because his sister chose that moment to walk into the room. Perfect timing as always, Kel.
Collecting himself, he turned to look in Kelsey’s direction.
“We’re done for the day,” Kelsey announced, then stopped short. She looked from her brother to Laurel. “Am I interrupting something?” she asked. Not only bad timing, but not too subtle, either, Trent thought.
“No,” he said, rising. “We were just killing time. Talking,” he added for good form. And then he turned his attention to the reason the three of them were together in the first place. “How did it go with Cody?”
“Well,” Kelsey said, nodding her head thoughtfully. Her lips curved into a bright, cheerful smile reminiscent of her mother’s. “It went well. Cody is definitely catching up.”
Her eyes shifted toward Laurel. “A few more weeks and you won’t need me.”
Laurel looked at her, stunned. Afraid to hope. “That soon?”
Kelsey’s smile widened. “He’s a very bright boy,” she told Laurel.
I knew that, Laurel thought. But the light had gone out of his eyes, out of his soul, and he had crawled into some dark cave where she couldn’t reach him. Though a virtual stranger obviously had.
She had to know. “How are you getting through to him?”
“He hears me,” she told Cody’s mother. “He hears everyone,” she added, glancing toward her brother. “I go over the lessons several times, show him shortcuts, give him ways to remember things.”
Laurel wanted so much to believe her. But she’d been disappointed before. The special-education tutor before Kelsey had told Laurel after only three weeks that she didn’t hold out too much hope.
“But how do you know that he’s absorbing any of this?” His current first-grade teacher had said that talking to Cody was like pouring water on a highly waxed car. The words just beaded up, remaining on the surface without any indication that they had penetrated.
“I give him tests.” Kelsey grinned. “And he aces them.” His sister went on to explain her method and how Cody had worked up to answering full sheets of questions. Trent saw pure joy flash in Laurel’s eyes. She held her breath as she asked,
“Really?”
Kelsey nodded her head, feeling rather proud of herself. “Really.”
With a heartfelt sigh, Laurel threw her arms around Kelsey. She hugged the younger woman with enthusiasm. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” Still firmly gripped in Laurel’s embrace, Kelsey turned her head toward her brother. Her eyes silently asked for help. “But now I’ve got to study for a test of my own.”
As if suddenly realizing what she was doing, Laurel released her son’s tutor and stepped back. But inside, she couldn’t stop beaming. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you.”
Through the heating vent, they heard the beginning jingle of the video game that Cody played daily.
“Since he did so well, I told him he could go play. I hope you don’t mind,” Kelsey said.
“No, no, that’s fine,” Laurel reassured her. Right now in her eyes Kelsey could do no wrong. “He needs a break.” Smiling, Laurel blinked back tears, wiping away one that had escaped. “I don’t know how to begin to thank you.” Her eyes swept over Trent and his sister. “Both of you.”
Cody still wasn’t speaking, but she knew that Trent was doing everything he could. Before coming to him, she’d started to lose hope, but now, with this, she was sure things would be all right. She just had to be patient, that was all.
“I’ll leave that between you and Trent,” Kelsey told her. The look on the woman’s face was payment enough for now. “Now I really need to get back to studying. I’m afraid I can only give you about an hour tomorrow. I’ve got this massive test first thing in the morning on Monday.”
“Of course, of course, I understand,” Laurel said, walking them to the door.
They passed the family room. Laurel looked in. Cody’s back was to the doorway and he appeared to be deeply engaged in his game. Maybe it was just her wishful thinking, but he didn’t seem to be as intent on crashing vehicles as before. The car he was propelling was gliding back and forth around the track.
“See you tomorrow, Cody,” Kelsey called out.
In a silent acknowledgment that he’d heard, the boy half cocked his head in the direction of her voice before turning his attention back to the screen. Laurel and Trent exchanged looks, a single word hovering in both their minds. Progress. It was precious when it finally made its appearance.
“Thank you,” Laurel said again just before they left the house.
The radiant look on her face would remain in his mind’s eye for a long time, Trent thought as he quickly walked to his car. He hit the security-release button on his key ring and his Honda Accord squeaked twice. Kelsey lost no time in opening the passenger door and getting in.
“I didn’t interrupt a meeting of the minds, did I?” she asked with a wide grin as she buckled up. When Trent’s only response was a low grunt, Kelsey just continued as if he’d answered. “Although it looked more like a meeting of the lips to me.”
So she had walked in before he and Laurel had drawn apart. Trent frowned, backtracking his way through streets lined with custom homes. “You’re not supposed to spy on your betters, Kel.”
“Hey, I was just coming in to report on the kid’s progress.” She laughed. “Not my fault you decided to play kissy-face with the lovely Laurel.” And then she grew just a little more serious. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Laurel the one who stomped on your heart
with her gorgeous, designer stilettos?”
He knew Kelsey’s heart was in the right place, but that didn’t change the fact that her nose definitely wasn’t.
“That is none of your business.”
“Mom would disagree with you, big brother. Much as it pains me to admit it, you’re family and family is family’s business.”
She was parroting something that Kate had said more than once. Ordinarily, he would have agreed. Except that this was his life and that made it different.
“Sounds a lot better when Mom says it,” he commented.
It began misting. He turned his windshield wipers on low and flipped on his headlights.
Kelsey didn’t seem to take offense. “Everything sounds better when Mom says it. Doesn’t make it any the less true,” Kelsey informed him. He could feel her studying his profile. “Okay, so, what’s the deal?”
“There is no deal,” he told her. “Laurel’s just an old friend and her son has an emotional problem. She came to me for help. That’s what we’re doing. We’re helping out.” He stomped on his brakes suddenly as an SUV darted out, cutting him off. He barely avoided hitting it. Kelsey threw her hands up, bracing herself against the dashboard. “And my fee for my wonderful services is the truth.”
Trent played dumb, pretending not to know what she was driving at. “So go ahead, talk.”
“Truth from you,” she emphasized. “I seem to remember that the two of you were together all the time when I was fourteen. And then you weren’t.”
He set his jaw hard, looking straight ahead. “That about sums it up.”
Kelsey sighed. “I overheard Travis and Trevor talking right after she disappeared from the scene. They said that Laurel dumped you.” She paused. “Did she?”
He thought of brushing her off, of telling her to butt out in no uncertain terms. But he knew she wasn’t just being nosy. Kelsey cared. Just as he cared about Kelsey, despite teasing her at every opportunity. So he wrapped his answer up in a nutshell, telling her what he hadn’t told anyone else. Because no one else had pressed this hard.
[Kate's Boys 03] - Mistletoe and Miracles Page 7
