‘Yeah, well, like I said, there’s Ceylona.’
‘Ah, come on Lili, your Mum’s a big girl. I’m sure she can figure something out. She can get along without you. Come on, please? Say you’ll come with me. Please?’
‘Well, about Ceylona … there’s something I didn’t tell you.’
‘Yeah? Like what? Is she sick or something? Is that why you stay home with her all the time? She looks healthy enough to me.’
‘No, she isn’t sick. It’s just that, well, she isn’t exactly my sister.’
‘What do you mean, isn’t exactly your sister? She’s your half-sister, right?’
I took a deep breath, and then replied in a rush, ‘She’s my daughter. Ceylona is my daughter; mine and Sam’s.’
Claire was speechless. She just stared at me for what felt like forever, but was probably just a few seconds. Then she frowned and got this really puzzled look on her face. I started to panic about the dates, wondering if she was doing mental arithmetic. When she finally spoke, her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
‘Your daughter? Ceylona is your daughter, not your sister? And you’re telling me this … now … after, what, like … two years?’
‘I’m sorry, Claire. It just, seemed … I don’t know, easier I guess.’
‘Easier? What do you mean, easier? Easier than, say, telling me the truth? I can’t believe you let me go on thinking she was your sister. And your Mum … she must have been in on it to. What did you do, sit down and work out how much fun it would be to fool me?’
She sounded angry, and I couldn’t blame her. After all, it was a pretty big thing to have kept from her.
‘No, it wasn’t like that at all. You said it—that first time you saw her. You said something about her being my little sister, and I simply didn’t correct you, that’s all.’
‘Oh, yes, well that’s all. Yeah, right,’ she said, and I could tell she was calming down already, the initial shock of it hopefully wearing off.
‘Look, I’m sorry Claire. It wasn’t right. I should have told you. But there just never seemed to be a good time—I mean, it simply never came up in conversation.’
The anger was gone, but she still looked hurt. When she spoke, her voice was almost meek, ‘Well, still, you should have told me.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’
She sighed, but I could see by the look on her face that she was pretty much over the shock of it.
‘Well, that makes for an even stronger case for you to come home with me. You really should see Sam, and talk—you know, maybe work things out. After all, if you have a daughter, don’t you think you owe it to her?’
She’d accepted it, without questioning the dates. A lot had happened over the past three years. She’d gone to university, I’d gotten married, she’d been back and forth to Australia several times; maybe she wouldn’t work out that I hadn’t looked pregnant when I should have. Perhaps I’d get away with not telling her the whole truth just yet.
‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should go with you … see Sam. Can I think about it for a day or two? When are you going?’
‘I’m leaving on Thursday, but you can still think about it. You don’t have to fly over on the same plane or anything. You can come a week later, or whatever works out. Oh, Lili, it will be so much fun! We can go out again … the four of us. I mean, if Tom wants to … and if Sam wants to. Please say you’ll come over?’
She was back—no more anger, no more hurt, just Claire; fun loving and happy. Any wonder I liked her so much.
~~***~~
The idea of going over to see Sam was tempting—but as soon as Claire was gone it was easier to see things more clearly and make the right decision. Seeing him again would just put me back to where I was when I’d first left—thinking about him almost every minute of every day—and I didn’t think I could bear that. Not yet—not again.
Besides, how was I to know if he’d even want to see me? After all, communication between us had nearly ceased. My emails to him were nothing more than a quick hello with a photo or two attached—generally sent on a Sunday night. But as for replies, well, they were few and far between. In fact, it had been ages since I’d received one. No, I couldn’t go. But I would be anxious to hear any news that Claire might bring back with her.
When I emailed Claire, telling her I wouldn’t be coming over, she replied saying I was a slacker and that I really should get my butt in gear and come over. But she also said she’d been to the market already, and hadn’t seen either Tom or Sam.
As I sat there, reading her email, it occurred to me that it was just as well that the conversation had stopped at the fact that Ceylona was my daughter. There’d been no reason on that day to tell her that Tom and Sam were vampires. And if there’d been no reason then, it was quite possible that there never would be a reason.
~~***~~
Claire returned a few weeks later and stopped in for a quick visit on the morning she flew in. Over a coffee at the kitchen table I learned two things. Firstly, that neither Tom nor Sam worked at the market any longer. Claire had gone back, and this time she spoke to a young man who said he’d been working there for several months, and that he hadn’t ever heard of anyone named Tom or Sam. Secondly, that Tom was definitely avoiding Claire. Since she’d hit a dead-end at the market, she decided to try to call him. She rang his number several times, but never got an answer. The phone wasn’t disconnected but there wasn’t any voice message. She was pretty sure that he simply wasn’t picking up.
Having given me her update, as scant as it was, Claire moved on and didn’t mention Tom again. Instead, she turned her attention to Ceylona. She’d brought her two stuffed animals, a koala and kangaroo, as well as a hand painted boom-a-rang. It was lovely watching the interaction between them as they sat and chatted. And while Ceylona no doubt liked her new toys, she wasted no time in bringing Archie out to show Claire. And Claire, of course, made all the right noises to show Ceylona how much she liked Archie.
I was glad that Claire had moved on, leaving the conversation about Tom and Sam well behind her. But the news, or rather lack of news, left me feeling completely uneasy, and wondering if perhaps I should have gone with her to Australia after all.
~ Chapter Five ~
As we headed into fall, or autumn as my Australian friends would say, life went back to a pattern again. Not an exciting one, but a predictable one. I enrolled in two more classes up at the college so I’d be at school two nights a week. It was a slow way to get a degree, but at least I was making some progress, and it kept my mind occupied for several hours a week.
David’s visits were now well and truly a thing of the past. And even though in some ways I was relieved, it was also a bit of a letdown. I guess I’d been flattered by his attention, or maybe it was more than that. Maybe, on some level, I’d needed to feel like I was still desirable. But it seemed that Susan was now getting all his attention, and he hers. In fact, I hadn’t heard from either of them for months.
But David and Susan weren’t the only ones who had stopped contacting me. Although I continued to send weekly emails to both Sam and Crystal, I hadn’t had a response from either of them for ages. Australia, and the life that I had thought I’d be living, felt further away than ever.
Ceylona was the one constant in my life. And I had to admit I was thankful that she was becoming so demanding of my attention—it didn’t leave me a lot of time to dwell on things that might have been. Approaching two and half, she’d gotten way too big to push in the stroller. But because I had to run, I joined a local gym that had a childcare area. It wasn’t the same as running in the park, but I’d get on the treadmill for an hour while Ceylona played with the variety of toys and the occasional child of another member. This was fine, so long as she was allowed to bring Archie. She seemed to be able to sit and chat with him for hours. Of course he didn’t answer back, but she would have these long conversations in a very soft little voice. And even though I couldn’t quite hear her clearly, I did get the sen
se that the words were more than just toddler gibberish.
Yes, Archie had turned out to be a complete success. Not only did he come to the gym with us, but he was also with us for every trip to the beach and the park. And most nights Ceylona held him tightly as she drifted off to sleep. There’d been no more talk about wanting a dog. Archie seemed to have filled that role completely.
~~***~~
As Christmas came around again I thought about asking Sam if he could come, but in the end I decided it was best for everyone if I didn’t. But we did have one man at our table on Christmas Eve. Raye invited a new boyfriend, Luke, and decided to turn on all her culinary skills to impress him. Indeed, dinner was extraordinary. The table was set beautifully, and the meal was without a doubt the most elaborate and delicious Christmas dinner we’d ever had.
It was easy to see the strong bond between Raye and Luke, and I was happy for her, definitely. But watching them together also sent pangs of longing through me. I hated the jealousy that overcame me, knowing she and Luke might have something that Sam and I could never have—a normal family life. It was awful, having these conflicted feelings, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I put on the bravest face I could, and tried to remind myself that I really was happy for Raye. I struggled through the evening with polite but sparse conversation.
Luckily, I slept well and when I woke, Ceylona was already up and out of bed. I found her sitting on the floor in the living room, legs and arms crossed as she stared at the Christmas tree and all the presents that had appeared overnight. Seeing how happy she was diminished the jealousy I’d felt the night before, and I reminded myself how lucky I was to have her in my life.
When the others finally got up, we began to open the presents, and each time Ceylona was given one to open, she drew in her breath and opened her eyes wider than the last time. She carefully opened each one, and made all the appropriate sounds as she admired each gift.
Amongst them was a huge box sent up by Claire that held a set of brightly coloured plastic shovels, buckets and moulds for the beach. Ceylona started playing with them straight away, pretending to be shovelling things into the little buckets. Finally she looked up at me and smiled, and asked when we could go to the beach.
I felt a slight pang of sadness that Sam wasn’t here with us, but then I sighed and remembered to feel grateful for all that I did have. What did I have to complain about anyway? I had a wonderful family. Mom, Ceylona, Raye—they were my family. And in actual fact, I had two families. Sam, Ben and Henry, Crystal and Michael, Debs and Ian—they were still my family, even if I couldn’t be with them right now. I was the lucky one. I just had to keep reminding myself of that.
~~***~~
Winter pressed on, and the cold wet days made it harder for me to get outdoors with Ceylona. We still made it to the park and beach now and then, but mostly we stayed indoors. And on the bleak days, my mood became sullen, and I found it hard to take my mind off Sam. I hadn’t heard from him for ages, and it was obvious that even though I constantly thought of him, he was getting on without me.
But then spring arrived. The weather improved, and the days got longer. Flower gardens started showing signs of new growth, and the beach and park beckoned more regularly. We spent more and more time outdoors, and both Ceylona and I seemed happier for the fresh air. Each day my spirits seemed to lift, and I once again found I could sometimes go a whole day without thinking about Sam and the life we would never have.
Then in the first week of May, three weeks before Ceylona’s third birthday, we had one of those rare windless days where the cloud cover is so thick that the sun doesn’t have a chance of even casting a shadow. These were my favourite days to go to the beach because even though it wasn’t cold, there were never many people around. Generally, on days like this, I could let Ceylona run around without fear of her getting in people’s way. I decided we would bring a picnic lunch and make a day of it.
Sure enough, as we pulled into the parking lot there were only two other cars there. The beach was deserted, and the kayaks and windsurfers hadn’t even been put out for hire. Crowds were not expected on a day like this.
I laid our blanket on the sand in our usual spot, and plunked our basket in the middle. I sat on the edge furthest from the water facing toward it. Archie sat in the middle of the blanket leaning up against the basket, and Ceylona camped on the corner to my right so she could sit on the blanket and still play in the sand. Slowly, and with great determination, she started taking her plastic shovels and moulds out of their bag, and organised her buckets according to size, in preparation to start making sand castles. I knew she’d want to go to the water’s edge to fill the buckets with water, and I also knew I could trust her not to get too wet. She’d learned how to stand to keep her feet just out of reach of the water.
Once she had her water, she sat down to start making shapes. Still keeping one eye on her, I gazed over toward the hill at the far end of the little beach. I hadn’t ventured that far with Ceylona yet, given that she mostly wanted to play in the sand, but the way she was growing, I knew it wouldn’t be long before she’d be capable of much longer walks. Some of the paths weren’t overly steep, meandering back and forth up to the top of the hill and down the other side. In summer the hill was covered with cool shady spots under the canopies of the beautiful old eucalyptus trees that also acted as windbreaks. There were picnic areas, and even a playground. It would be a nice change on a hot day. That was something to look forward to over the coming months.
When I turned my focus back to Ceylona I saw that she was staring at a jogger who was coming toward us with two big Labradors—one yellow and one black. Ceylona was quite intent on the trio and for a moment I wondered if it might be the same lady we sometimes saw at the park near home. I stared too, trying to work out if I recognised her, but in the end I decided it wasn’t her.
She was jogging at a nice slow pace, and wore a set of those little earphones, no doubt listening to music as she focused on the path in front of her. She glanced in our direction as she passed, but didn’t slow, and didn’t acknowledge our presence.
As the dogs passed right beside us, Ceylona stood up and took one tentative step toward them. They slowed and looked at her, but the woman must have noticed they were no longer with her, as she turned and whistled and they looked up toward her and trotted to catch up. I figured she was probably heading for the top of the hill, up one of those lovely paths I’d just been remembering.
Ceylona’s disappointment was written all over her face. I could tell she’d wanted to pet those friendly looking dogs. She stood watching them until it was obvious they weren’t coming back.
Eventually she gave up, and turned her attention back to her buckets and shovel. But after just a few minutes she stopped. Her head came up suddenly, as though she’d heard something, and she turned and looked back behind me, in the direction of the parking lot. I hadn’t heard any cars pull up, but perhaps one had. I turned to follow her gaze, expecting to see a car, but there were no cars; just a man.
He was tall, and dressed in a long dark coat covering what appeared to be a dark business suit. He didn’t look like he was ready to spend a day at the beach, but perhaps he was just taking his lunch break at a picturesque spot. Yet if that was the case, I wondered how he’d gotten here.
As he walked toward us, or rather toward the sidewalk that ran alongside the beach, I looked back toward Ceylona. Her little body had stiffened, and she’d gone quite pale.
She looked at me, and in a very soft voice like the one she used when chatting to Archie, she said, ‘Bad man, Mommy.’
As she spoke, I could feel all the hairs on the back of my neck, my arms and my legs stand straight up. A cold shiver ran down my spine. I looked at her, and in the calmest voice I could muster I said, ‘Ceylona, honey, what’s the matter?’
‘Bad man, Mommy. Man has eyes like Ah-chee. Bad man,’ she repeated, in a voice that was barely audible.
Ceylona was cle
arly upset, and my instincts were telling me it was time to go, but I couldn’t move or take my eyes away from the man. He was walking directly toward us, but when he reached the sidewalk, he turned to his right to walk in the same direction as the jogger had gone. I let out the breath I’d obviously been holding, then looked past him to where I could still just see the jogger, further along the sidewalk. His attention was clearly focused on her, and thankfully, he didn’t even seem to notice we were there.
My first thought was of David, stalking me in Burlingame Avenue that day—waiting for me outside the children’s shop. Could this man be a jilted boyfriend of the jogger’s? Was he following her? If so, he’d have to be careful—her dogs were big, and no doubt protective.
I sighed with relief as I watched him continue to get further and further away from us. But when I turned back to look at Ceylona, she looked far from relieved. In fact, she was still as pale as if she’d seen a ghost; and not a nice one like Elizabeth either.
I stood and walked over next to her. Then, reaching down to take her tiny little hands in mine I said, ‘Ceylona, it’s okay, the man is gone. Shall we go home now, sweetheart?’
But she shook her head, and looked in the direction he’d gone, and said, ‘Bad man, Mommy. Must stop him. Bad man.’
And then for some reason I turned my attention to Archie, sitting there in middle of the blanket. His little face was looking right at me, with his shiny black nose, and his bright eyes that looked quite red in the natural daylight.
And suddenly I felt lightheaded, and I had to fight to remain upright as a dizzy spell tried to engulf me. Ceylona had said the man had eyes like Archie. Archie had red eyes.
I looked at Ceylona, and as calmly as possible asked, ‘Sweetheart, did the man have strange eyes?’
Her face was still as pale as before, but she was frowning, and it even looked as though her teeth were clenched.
‘Yes, Mommy. Bad man. Eyes like Ah-chee. Very bad man.’
A shiver ran down my spine again, and I could feel the hairs on my whole body standing upright as the confirmation of what she’d seen hit home. She’d seen through his illusion. Ceylona had spotted her first vampire.
Deception (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 3) Page 4
