by Leanne Banks
She shook her head. “But I left a message.”
Lauren could see her friend’s despair. “I could try to call him. Or perhaps you should contact Tanner, and he could try to get in touch with his brother.”
Cassie sighed. “I haven’t spoken with Tanner since the last time he came home, which was a couple of years ago. Last I heard, he was still horse whispering in South Dakota. Doug will call me,” Cassie said assuredly. “He will. I know it. I left a message and said it was important. He’ll call me,” she said again.
Lauren hoped so. Doug’s reaction to the baby had been lukewarm at best, and she knew Cassie hadn’t heard from him since.
“So,” Cassie said, and grinned. “About Gabe. I think—”
“Let’s not,” Lauren pleaded.
“Indulge me. I’m the patient, remember?” she said, and patted her IV. “I’m guessing you didn’t know he was really a doctor?” she asked. “And a pretty good one, by the way he reacted yesterday.”
“I didn’t know,” she admitted.
“I guess he had his reasons for keeping it a secret.”
Sure he did. He was emotionally unreliable and therefore unattainable. She’d get over him soon enough. For the moment, he was just a distraction, and her fledging feelings would recover. Lauren was sure of it.
It didn’t help that the object of her distraction chose that moment to enter the room.
With Mary-Jayne at his side.
Of course, she knew he was acquainted with her friend. He was Scott’s cousin, and Evie was Mary-Jayne’s sister. Still...a little burst of resentment flooded her veins.
She met his gaze. He looked so good in jeans and a black polo shirt, and walked with the easy swagger she’d come to recognize as uniquely his. Lauren tried to smile and failed.
“Look who I found outside,” Mary-Jayne announced with a big grin.
“Ladies,” he said easily, and stepped into the room. “Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all,” Cassie was quick to say. “I’m so glad you’re here. I wanted to say thank you for yesterday.”
Gabe shrugged. “No thanks necessary. As long as you’re feeling better.”
“Much,” Cassie said, and beamed a smile. “Are they for me?” she asked of the bunch of flowers in his hand. When he nodded, her friend’s smile broadened. “Daffodils are my favorite. Thank you.”
Lauren fought back a surge of jealousy and drew in a deep breath. So he met Mary-Jayne in the hallway, and Cassie was a little starstruck? It means nothing to me. One kiss didn’t amount to anything. She had no hold on him and shouldn’t care that her friend might have a harmless crush on the man who’d potentially saved her and her baby. Besides, Cassie was devoted to Doug.
She hopped up from her chair and took the flowers, careful not to touch him. He said hello, and she managed to reply and then disappeared from the room in search of a vase.
“What’s up with you?”
Lauren came to a halt and waited for Mary-Jayne to catch up. “Nothing.”
Her friend grabbed her arm. “We met in the hall, that’s all.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Mary-Jayne’s slanted brows rose up dramatically. “Sure you do. Dr. Gorgeous in there only has eyes for you.”
“That’s...that’s ridiculous,” Lauren spluttered. “We’re just neighbors.”
“You can deny it all you want, but I know what I see.”
If you waste your heart on me, I’ll break it....
His words came back again and sat like lead in her stomach.
The nurses happily obliged her with a vase, and when they returned to the room, Gabe was sitting beside Cassie’s bed, and her friend’s hand rested against his forearm. The scene looked ridiculously intimate. Resentment bubbled, and Lauren pushed it away quickly.
“I was just telling Gabe how grateful I am,” Cassie said, and patted his arm one more time before she placed her hands in her lap and grinned at him. “Again.”
He shrugged in a loose-shouldered way, but Lauren wasn’t fooled. “I’ll get going. Good to see you all.”
Once he was gone, Cassie blew out a low whistle. “Boy, could you two be any more into each other and less inclined to admit it?”
Lauren colored wildly. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Yeah, right,” Cassie said, and grinned. “I’m not the most observant person in the world, but even I can see that you have some serious feelings for him.”
“And I think right about now is the time for me to leave,” Lauren said gently, and grabbed her bag. She loved Cassie. But now wasn’t the time to have a discussion about her feelings for Gabe. Feelings he’d made perfectly clear he didn’t want and couldn’t return.
“You know, I’m sure he had his reasons for not telling you he was a doctor,” Cassie said, ignoring her indication to leave. “If that’s what’s bugging you. Some people don’t like talking about themselves.”
I know...I’m one of those people.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure you let me know when you’re leaving so I can pick you up. My mother is insisting you stay with her and my dad for a couple of days.”
She hugged both her friends goodbye, and by the time Lauren arrived home, it was past midday. She got stuck into some cleaning and sorted through a few cupboards in the kitchen. It was menial, mind-numbing work that stopped her dwelling on other things. Or at least gave the impression. Later she did some admin work for the store and spent an hour in the backyard, weeding and repotting some herbs. Gabe wasn’t home, and that suited her fine.
When she was done, it was well past five, and Lauren headed inside to clean up. She took a long bath and dried herself off before cozying into candy-pink shorts and matching tank shirt. She called Cassie and arranged to pick her friend up the following morning. With that done and the store organized for next day, Lauren ignored the idea of dinner and mooched around the cupboards for something sugary. Being a usually health-conscious woman, the pantry was bare of anything she could call junk, and she made do with a bag of organic dried apples.
She was sitting on the sofa, watching television with her knees propped up and dipping in for a third mouthful of apple when the doorbell rang. Lauren dropped the bag and headed up the hallway. When she opened the door and found Gabe standing on her porch, Lauren took a deep breath. He looked tired. As though he hadn’t slept for twenty-four hours.
Well, too bad for him.
“What do you want?”
He had an envelope in his hand. “I got the estimate for the new fence. You said you wanted to—”
“Sure,” she snapped, and held out her palm.
He placed the note in her hand. “You’re under no obligation to pay half. The fence is my idea and I’d rather—”
“I said I’d pay for it,” she said, cutting him off.
He threaded his fingers through his hair, and she couldn’t stop thinking how mussed and sexy he looked. “Okay. If you’re sure. Check out the estimate and if you agree, I’ll get the contractor to start work in the next week or so.”
Wonderful. A great high fence between them was exactly what she needed.
“I’ll let you know,” she said through tight teeth.
He nodded, shrugged a little and managed a smile. “I’ll talk to you later.”
He turned and took a few steps. Lauren wasn’t even sure she’d spoken his name until he turned back to face her.
“Yes, Lauren?”
She pushed herself out of the doorway, and the light above her head flickered. He was a few feet away, but she could still make out every angle of his handsome face. A question burned on the edge of her tongue. Once she had her answer, she’d forget all about him.
“Why did you kiss me last night?”
The words see
med to echo around the garden, and the sound of insects chorused the silence that was suddenly between them. He took a couple of steps until he stood at the bottom of the stairs.
“If you think this is such a bad idea,” she went on, getting stronger with each word. “If you believe there’s nothing going on here...why did you even bother?”
He let out a heavy breath. “Because I had to know.”
She shivered, even though it was warm outside. “You had to know what?”
“I had to know what your lips tasted like just one time.”
Her shiver turned into a burn so hot, so rampant, Lauren thought she might pass out. She grabbed the screen door to support her weakened knees. No man had ever spoken those kinds of words to her. Tim had been sweet and a little shy. James’s flirtatious nature had been obvious and overt. But Gabe was somewhere in between. Not shy. Not obvious. He was a seductive mix of reserve and calm, masculine confidence.
“And that’s all it was? Just...just a single kiss?”
“What do you want me to say to you?” he shot back. “Do you need to hear that I want to kiss you again? That I want to make love to you? Of course I do. I’ve told you that before. I’ve never denied that I’m attracted to you, Lauren. You’re...lovely. You’re smart and beautiful and the more time I spend with you, the more I want you. But I can’t give you the kind of commitment you want. Not...not right now.”
Not right now?
What did that mean? A possibility popped into her head. “Are you married?” she asked. “Or separated? Is that why you—”
“Of course not,” he cut her off tersely.
“I had to ask,” she said, and sighed. “You’re so hot and cold, Gabe. You say one thing to me and then do another. I’m confused, and it seemed plausible.”
“Well, it’s not. I’ve had three semiserious relationships and a few one-night hookups. But I’ve never been married. I thought about it when I was with my last girlfriend, but we never got around to making any firm plans. In between, I was busy with my career.”
“A career you then gave up?”
His expression turned blank. And she’d never wanted to read him more. But couldn’t.
“I have to go,” he said. “Good night.”
She watched him leave and waited until he rounded the hedge before she returned inside and closed the door.
* * *
On Tuesday morning, Gabe noticed five missed calls on his cell. Two from his mom. Three from Aaron. His brother had then reverted to text messaging.
What’s going on with you?
He sent one back when he arrived at work.
Nothing.
Aaron responded immediately.
Mom’s worried about you. Call her.
Sure.
Gabe knew his one-word replies would irritate his interfering older brother.
Ten minutes later, he received another message.
Just do it, Gabriel.
Gabe ignored the deliberate use of his full name in his brother’s message and stuffed the phone in his pocket. Well-meaning relatives with advice he could do without.
Megan arrived, and he plastered on a smile. It would be best if he kept his lousy mood to himself. No one needed to know that he was so wound up, so frustrated, he could barely string a sentence together. She had her older sister with her, a remarkably attractive girl in her mid-twenties whose name he couldn’t recall but who looked him over with barely concealed approval.
The teen dumped a few books on his desk. “Thanks for these,” she said chirpily.
“They helped?” he asked, and pulled another medical textbook from the desk drawer.
“Yeah,” she replied. “I sit the nursing entrance exam next week.”
Megan had borrowed a few of his old medical texts to help with her studying and hadn’t asked why he had them. Not like Lauren would have. She’d ask. She’d want to know everything. And the damnable thing was, he’d want to tell her.
“Well, good luck,” he replied. “Just drop it back when you’re done with it.”
Megan grabbed the book and sashayed out of the room, but her sibling hovered in the doorway, brows raised suggestively. In another time, he might have been tempted to ask for her number, to take her out and get her into bed after a few dates. But he wasn’t interested in the pretty brunette with the wide smile. Gabe cursed to himself. He was so wrapped up in Lauren that nothing and no one else could shift his distraction. Nothing could ease the unexpected ache in his chest and the unrelenting tension cramping his shoulders. Kissing her had been like nothing on earth. And he wanted to feel that again. He wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her over and over and somehow forget he couldn’t offer her the future she deserved.
The cell in his pocket vibrated again. It was another message from his brother.
You said you’d call. Get to it.
Gabe ignored the message and got back to work.
But by two he’d had enough, and since no one was booked in to use the upstairs rooms that afternoon, he locked up and headed home. Back at the house, there was painting to be done, drywall to replace and plaster, and the lawn needing mowing. But he ignored every chore. Instead, Gabe started unpacking some of the boxes in the spare room. The box marked Personal Items got his full attention. Gabe rummaged through the papers and soon found what he was looking for. His diploma of medicine. Still in the frame his mother had insisted upon. He looked at it, and shame hit him squarely behind the ribs.
Quitter...
Like he’d rarely allowed himself to think in the past eighteen months, Gabe wondered what would have happened had he stuck it out. What would have ensued had he ignored the guilt and regret tailing him around the hospital corridors? Would time have healed his fractured spirit? Would it have lessened the remorse? Would he have been able to practice medicine with the self-belief it demanded? Right now, he felt healthy. His last round of tests had come back clear. He was cancer-free.
Perhaps it was time to take his life back?
A first step. A giant step. But one he had to do if he was ever going to be truly happy.
Gabe shoved the diploma back in the box and resealed the lid.
He needed a run to clear his thoughts and stretch out the muscles in his back and limbs. He changed his clothes and headed out. When he returned, he showered, pulled on jeans and a T-shirt and grabbed his keys. If he wanted to take his career back, there was no time like the present to start.
He had a patient to check on.
* * *
Lauren sat on the edge of the bed in the spare room at her parents’ house and chatted to her friend. It had been her bedroom once. Back then, the walls had been pink, and posters of rock gods had covered the walls. Since she’d moved out, her mother had redecorated in the more subtle tones of beige and white.
“This isn’t necessary, you know, for me to stay in bed,” Cassie insisted, and patted the mattress. “I feel fine.”
“Good,” Lauren said, and smiled. “But humor us all anyway, and rest for a few more days. You had surgery, and you need to take it easy.”
Her friend had resisted coming to stay at her parents’ home to recuperate. But since Lauren’s dad was now retired, it meant that someone would be able to watch Cassie around the clock. Cassie meant a great deal to her family. She was like another daughter to her parents and as close to Lauren as a sister could be. She wasn’t about to allow her friend to be alone.
“Okay,” Cassie said, and grinned. “I’ll be a model patient. As long as I know Mary-Jayne is looking after my dog, I’ll relax.”
“She is,” Lauren told her. “I’ll go and make some tea and bring it up with dinner.”
“What time are your folks getting back?” Cassie asked.
Lauren checked her watch. It was just afte
r seven. “Matka is at mah-jongg and will be back by nine-thirty, and Dad’s helping Cameron supervise a bowling expedition with a group of kids from the Big Brothers program tonight. So you’ll have to put up with me until then.” She grinned. “But I promise I won’t smother you.”
Cassie chuckled. “Good. Um...I think I heard the doorbell. You might want to get that.”
Lauren had heard it, too. She left the room and headed downstairs and was stunned to find Gabe on the other side of the door when she swung it back on its hinges.
“Oh...hi.”
“Hey,” he said, looking gorgeous beneath the overhead light. “I just stopped in to check on Cassie. I called her earlier, and she said she was here.”
She did? Lauren needed to have a talk with her friend. She’d bet her boots Cassie had deliberately arranged this meeting. Her friend wasn’t averse to a little matchmaking. Too bad it was pointless. “I didn’t realize you had her number.”
His mouth twitched. “I got it from Cameron.”
“Oh, right. Well, she’s upstairs...third room on the right.”
Lauren turned on her heels and headed back down the hall. He could close the door. He could make his own way upstairs. She didn’t want to spend any more time with him than was necessary. It was the only way she’d succeed in getting him out of her system.
But damn it if she couldn’t hear them talking and laughing from her spot in the kitchen. The sound traveled down the stairway and managed to spur on her mounting jealousy and resentment.
She was about fifteen minutes into preparing dinner when she felt Gabe’s presence in the room. Lauren looked up and noticed him in the doorway, arms crossed and one shoulder resting against the doorjamb.
“How does she seem?” she asked stiffly, slicing cucumber as though it was the enemy.
“Good,” he replied, and pushed himself off the door frame. “Recovering well.”
