by Lib Starling
Composed now, Darien rubbed his eyes and slowly sank onto the bed beside her. “I suppose we do.”
“Where were you last night?”
Darien gave a little snort of laughter. “Is this a police interrogation?” But his tone was light, and he smiled almost shyly. “I went for a little hike in the woods.”
The memory of the bull elk’s soft, kindly expression filled Roxy with certainty. “It was you.”
He held her eyes for a long moment, but at last Darien nodded.
“Tell me,” she demanded, but her throat closed with the impossibility of it all, and she couldn’t say more.
“Brooke called. She told me you’d gone for a hike in the mountains. She’d spoken to Scarlett, too, and based on whatever Scarlett told her, Brooke figured you might be upset. I thought that was likely, too, so I drove from trail to trail until I found your Jeep. When I saw Jared’s car in the same parking lot, I suspected…”
“That’s not what I meant.” She reached toward Darien’s medallion, but he flinched away from her touch. “Tell me about this,” she said, pointing.
His hand crept up to caress the talisman. “It’s my stay. We all have one.”
“Stay?”
“A medallion made just for me, to keep my totem in check – under my own control.”
“Your totem.” It wasn’t a question. “Your totem is an elk. That’s what the antlers signify on the medallion – on the stay.”
Darien nodded slowly. “It’s what we all have in common here at Blackmeade, Roxy.” His eyes were deep pools of solemnity when he looked at her, and Roxy knew he was about to put himself at risk – and was giving her his trust. “We’re shapeshifters.”
.2.
S hapeshifter.
She had been thinking the word ever since her encounter with the elk the previous night. She had even dreamed it, and had seen in her dreams the magnificent creature who turned to her with concern on its long, elegant face, with compassion in its familiar eyes. But she hadn’t dared to speak it aloud. Hearing the word in Darien’s voice sent a rush of blood to her head, and she dizzied, the pulse pounding in her ears.
“I don’t believe it.” Roxy shook her head frantically, trying to clear her thoughts, trying to clear the stars that burst before her eyes. There was a metallic tang in her mouth, and the nauseating thrill of adrenaline flooded her limbs. “It can’t be real.”
If shapeshifters were real, then anything might be – any dark creature from legends long thought dead. Roxy had always believed the world to be predictable and mundane. Full of traps and hazards, maybe, but those were human dangers – predictable, understandable. Shapeshifters, vampires, demons, witches… if one could exist, then any might. And the world was not as safe and predictable as it seemed.
“It’s true,” Darien said simply. “You’re my friend, Roxy, and I wouldn’t lie to you. Besides, why would I make up something like this? It sounds crazy, doesn’t it?”
“It does.” Her voice was faint, and she pressed her palms against her eyes to clear the dancing lights from her sight. “So Blackmeade University…”
“A school for shifters. The only one on the continent.”
“I thought it was just a school for rich boys to learn how to be evil businessmen.”
Darien smiled thinly. “It’s that, too. The shifting ability is in the DNA. It’s passed down from generation to generation. It stays within families. I’m sure it won’t surprise you to learn that the people who possess this ability have used it for their own gain.”
“What do you mean?”
“All our families have been involved with major businesses for generations. You’ve heard certain families described as ‘old money,’ right?”
“Of course. I’m from Hanover, New Hampshire. Out there, you’re either ‘old money’ or you’re nothing.”
“You might as well substitute ‘shifting’ for ‘old money.’ Except for a few rare cases, most families that have managed to control the world’s wealth for many generations have done it thanks to their shapeshifting members.”
“How?”
“Human beings aren’t difficult to influence. Once you know how to control the spirit of an animal – your own totem – it’s simple to influence nearly any human you can think of. Shifters have something extra that most ordinary humans lack. Call it charisma, call it acumen, call it diplomacy or power or manipulative skills. Whatever you call it, its natural application is in high-power business – in controlling the wealth of the world. It’s been the calling of our kind for hundreds of years.”
“Why money, though? Why not governments?”
Darien chuckled. “Roxy. Show me any government that can’t be controlled by corporations and banks.”
“Good point,” she conceded. “So you’re all shifters?”
He nodded.
“Even the guys in the other fraternities?”
“Yep.”
“Jared and his friend…”
“You remember those dogs you met on the trail.”
Roxy shuddered. She wasn’t likely to forget them anytime soon.
“When I saw Jared’s car parked beside your Jeep, I thought he might try something out in the woods. He knows how badly Alexander wants you, and he’d do anything to get under Alexander’s skin. I’d only hoped I wouldn’t be too late to help you. It looked to me like I got there in the nick of time.”
“You’re sure those dogs…”
“Absolutely certain. I’ve seen their totem forms before. I don’t know whether they recognized me in my totem form, but I’d know those fleabags anywhere.”
“Well, I’m glad you arrived when you did.” Then a troubling thought occurred to her. “But you said Blackmeade is the only school for shapeshifters on the continent. It’s a men’s college. What about the women shifters? Where do they go for their education?”
“The shifting ability is linked to the Y chromosome. There are no female shifters. At least…” he grew even more serious, and he gazed at her with something akin to worry. “…we thought there were no female shifters.”
It took Roxy a moment to grasp his meaning, but when she did, she started back in alarm. “What? Not me!”
“Oh, yes,” he said grimly. “You. I thought it might be a slim possibility when I first met you. I sensed something about you – something different from ordinary women, but I couldn’t put my finger on just what it was. And then I noticed the way all the brothers were drawn to you, like magnets to steel – none of them could look away. It went beyond mere physical attraction. Something deeper was calling to them. Something about you called to their totems. Even mine seemed to perk up in your presence, though since I like guys I was able to step back from the situation, to stay rational and observe you – and the way the men acted around you. I watched, while the rest of Alpha House were overcome with the desire to mate.”
Roxy cringed at his choice of words.
“Sorry,” he said, “but it’s appropriate when you’re talking about totems.”
“I guess so.”
“How can you doubt it, Roxy? You even have a stay medallion.”
He reached toward her neck, and instinctively, Roxy twitched away from his touch. The thought of his hand on her necklace filled her with sudden, overwhelming repulsion.
Darien smiled gently at her reaction. “See?”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” she insisted. “My mother gave me this necklace. It’s all I have to remember her by.” She pulled the medallion from the collar of her sweater and peered at its round face. The mysterious animal’s visage stared back at her, sharp-featured and knowing. Roxy shivered.
“May I touch it?”
Roxy nodded, and this time, knowing Darien would handle it carefully, she felt no fear. She felt only trust and warmth as he took the medallion in his fingers and admired it.
“It’s lovely,” Darien said. “But I don’t know what animal it is.”
“I don’t, either. I’ve always w
ondered. You said shifting is only inherited by males. I never knew my father. Maybe this necklace was his – maybe he was in possession of a stay, for some reason. Maybe he found it, or bought it…”
“Maybe he was a shifter.”
“Of course not. That’s absurd.”
“Is it? You don’t even know your father’s name, do you? I’m not trying to mock you or hurt you, Roxy – I’m only trying to make a point. You can’t be sure of your own heritage, so how can you be sure that you’re not a shifter?”
“Because…” she pressed her lips together in fury, trying to sort through the boiling jumble of emotions that cluttered her mind. “Because it’s crazy,” she burst out. Drawing a deep breath, she took hold of her senses once more. She said with calm triumph, “Because I’ve never turned into an animal, for one thing.”
Darien grinned. “A virgin.”
Roxy flinched and her heart stuttered, remembering what she’d shared with Chase, only to watch him trample callously on her feelings.
“Your first shift will come,” Darien went on, “sooner or later. It usually happens for boys just after puberty, but with a girl… it’s anybody’s guess. They say there have been women who could shift in the past, but those stories are mostly legends, or useless anecdotes. It’s such a rare occurrence that I don’t think anybody knows when you can expect your first shift.”
“Never.” Roxy clenched her fists. “Because I’m not a goddamn shapeshifter, Darien. I’m just a normal person who’s fallen into the creepy, disgusting, frat-boy world of Alpha House. And I want out.”
Darien, intent now on the mystery of Roxy’s impending virginal shift, went right on speaking as if he hadn’t heard her at all. “I would have expected a girl’s first shift would happen around the same time as a boy’s, but…”
“Aren’t you listening to me?”
Darien stared off into space, his dark eyes watching the mysteries of the shifter’s world shimmer like a mirage against his blank bedroom wall.
“Maybe…” he mused, but Roxy had had enough. She reached out as quick as a striking rattlesnake and grabbed the chain of his stay.
“Whoah!” Darien yelped. He seized her wrist with a strong hand, but then his grip softened. He untangled her fingers. “You can’t just do that, Rox. Our stays are our lifelines to control. There’s a sort of… force inside them. Magic, I guess you can call it, though it seems like such a simple, childish word. To take control of somebody’s stay like that is a… a bit of a violation, honestly.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Then she sat up a little straighter. “That’s why Alexander stopped – that night, on our date. I grabbed his necklace and pulled, and he acted like a dog on a choke chain.”
Darien gave a grim little laugh. “That would have done the trick, all right. You got his attention where it counted – you hit him right in the totem.”
“He should have been in control of himself regardless,” Roxy said fiercely. “Some stupid totem is no excuse for treating a woman the way he treated me.”
“You’ll get no argument from me. What he did to you was shameful, and no man should behave that way.”
Roxy sat back on the bed, her brow furrowed in thought. All this talk of control… She recalled the conversation she’d overheard on the porch, the hushed, worried voices, their fearful tones.
“Darien, what’s happening to everybody’s stays?”
He frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“When I arrived today, I overheard…” She blushed. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard Alexander talking to some of the other guys. They were talking about loss of control, and said it happened even while they were wearing… something. They were talking about shifting, weren’t they? They shifted even while wearing their stays – they lost control of their totems. It’s not supposed to happen that way, is it? Your stay is supposed to keep you in control, but somehow, everybody is losing control.”
“I don’t know anything about it,” Darien said, shaking his head in bewilderment. “But honestly, I’ve been so distraught over losing my own stay that I haven’t been paying much attention to what’s going on around Alpha House. When I returned for my things last night in the woods, they were gone. I came back here, running the whole way in my elk form. I was totally beside myself, in a panic – the guys had to convince me to shift back to my human shape. I wouldn’t let any of them near me – I kept threatening them with my antlers, convinced I was in danger. They finally put me to bed, but I didn’t sleep all night. I was worried I might shift without wanting to – worried I’d have no control.”
“What happens if you shift without wanting it?”
“Nothing, usually, except embarrassment. Without a stay it can happen now and again, when emotions are high or when the moon is near full. But the more it happens without your will, the less potent your will becomes, until you can’t control it at all. Then, even with a stay you might not be able to hold yourself in your chosen form. Sometimes when boys have their first shift late – long after the usual age, I mean – it affects them badly. Weakens their will, their self-control. Makes them unpredictable, emotionally unstable.”
“Insane?”
“Sometimes, in extreme cases. It’s been noted to have happened once or twice. A very late shift can be a terrible thing for a man – and having one’s will eroded away by involuntary shifts can be nearly as dangerous.”
Roxy took his hand and squeezed. “Were you all right last night?”
“Yeah,” he said, sighing with relief. “I didn’t shift, if that’s what you mean. But I did see an involuntary shift a few days ago. It was Jack. One minute he was himself, shooting pool in the game room. Then he got a little miffed over a bad shot, and bam! There was his coyote totem, standing there shivering inside his loose clothes, looking terrified. He panicked and bolted around the room. We had to hold him down and talk sense back into him before he could change again. Poor guy; he didn’t know what hit him.
“None of us thought much about it at the time. Jack is – uh – experimental. He’s had problems with involuntary shifts before, when he’s tried new drugs or partied too hard. I assumed it was just another experimental phase gone wrong. But you say other guys were affected?”
“Logan,” Roxy said. “I heard his name mentioned. And a few others spoke up and said it happened to them, too.”
Darien’s frown deepened. “That’s… odd.”
“They said it was hitting them one at a time. Like somebody or something was testing them, going from one to the other methodically.”
Darien said nothing, but he grabbed his stay medallion again, rubbing the flat golden disc between his finger and thumb with an absent expression.
“I should go,” Roxy said after a moment. She could tell her news had frightened her friend, and the last thing she wanted was to upset Darien after he’d put himself through hell to save her from Jared. In a rush of warm gratitude, Roxy threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. “Thank you so much, Darien. For helping me in the woods, and… and for telling me all this. I want you to know, I’ll keep it a secret. I won’t tell another soul about anything you’ve said today.”
Darien’s shroud of absent fear dissipated, and he snickered. “Nobody will believe you if you tell them, anyway. But I appreciate the gesture.”
They stood, and Roxy reached for his door. “And I’m sorry I stole your stay. And your clothes. It was totally an accident.”
“I know.” He hugged her again. “Listen, Rox – I don’t know what’s going on around here, but be careful.”
“Careful?”
He gestured toward her necklace. “Guard that well.”
“I always do. Call me when you’re feeling better; we should get together again soon.”
No one accosted Roxy as she made her way past the tight-shut bedroom doors on the upper floor and drifted down the staircase. The living room was empty, and she heard no whispered conference from the far side
of the house. The silence of the place raised an eerie prickle along her spine, and for the briefest moment, Roxy nearly felt sorry for the brothers of Alpha House, crouching in fear of the unknown force that assaulted them.
As she drove back over the foothills toward the highway and town – normal, mundane, predictable Jackson Hole – Roxy twined the chain of her necklace in her fingers, rubbing the medallion thoughtfully. Her mind overflowed with grim thoughts, and now and then she had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing hysterically.
Shapeshifter, she mused, staring blankly at a red traffic light. Not me. Never.
But the golden chain seemed hot around her neck, and the mysterious force inside her seemed to hackle and growl. Roxy couldn’t wait to get home.
.3.
T he phone buzzed in Chase’s pocket. The sensation drifted lazily to him, murmuring through his skin. The stacks of the Blackmeade library towered over him, their walnut shelves stained dark with age. Chase stared at the book in his hands, furrowing his brow.
Shifting Through the Ages: Legend, Tradition, and Fact.
He couldn’t remember why he’d pulled the book from the shelf. He brushed the old leather cover with his palm, idly wondering. He’d been searching for something – something important. But what? Several times over the past days, Chase had found himself drawn to the library. Always he wandered hopelessly through the long rows of shelving, searching the ranks of book spines with an uncomfortable blend of confusion and desperation simmering in his chest. Whatever he was looking for, he never found it, and this fruitless obsession with the library had begun to worry him.
Am I losing will? Am I going to shift out of control?
He knew the very idea of it should strike fear into his heart, but all Chase could feel was a dull curiosity.
The phone buzzed again. He set the book down and looked at his phone’s screen.
Scarlett. A slow, eager smile spread across his face. He answered, whispering hoarsely so the library administrators wouldn’t fall upon him with their authoritative scowls.
