My body ached for sex, watching the video. She was on the lip of the table, hands grabbing onto it so hard I could see her knuckles turn white on the screen. Her dress was pushed up around her hips and I had that leg of her up. Her legs were beautiful.
She had her head tipped back like it had been ecstasy, and I had to admit that it had been fucking close to the real deal right there. I could still recall the feel of her pussy walls clamping around me when she came, hard and shuddering, before I released my load. God, it had been hot as hell.
I unzipped myself and let the thing spring free. I was hard and throbbing. I palmed myself and slid my hand up and down, imagining what it was like to be inside of her. I wanted more of her. I wanted to see her naked and watch her body respond to me. I wanted that long hair to fall over my chest, and I wanted to take her from every angle until she begged me to stop.
I came quickly. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as being with her, but it would have to do. I still had work to do.
I zipped up my pants again and closed the video, disgusted that I’d done that. I’d watched a video of us and jacked off to it. I really was a sick son of a bitch sometimes. But I shook it off and started opening the other files. Two of them had my face clear as day. Any cop system was going to be able to match that with my criminal records. However, I had the only copy, so that was a plus. The last file made me worry. It was a clear shot of my kutte and the gang logo. If that boss of Tanya’s had seen it, it wouldn’t be hard for him to track us down.
There would be hell to pay if we got in trouble because some wise ass thought to turn us in for a reward after I had gotten my hands on the cd. Skinner didn’t take lightly to fuckups like this, and my lust after that woman was going to be blamed.
Dammit. They already said I couldn’t keep it in my pants. If I got into trouble because of it, Skinner was going to do exactly what he was famous for.
I had to get ahold of Tanya again. I kept getting deeper with her, but this wasn’t just about the fact that I wanted to see her again. That was a problem since I couldn’t afford to get emotionally involved, but the gang couldn’t afford to be outed by some idiot with a hero complex. Shit.
I was going to have to do something about it, and soon. And I didn’t mean I had to do her, even though that sounded damn enticing right about now. No, I had to take that boss of hers on a little trip and make him understand what the penalty was for ratting out a gang like ours.
I looked at my watch. I wasn’t going to have time to swing by the diner. I needed to get to the gang meeting before we set out for the night. We had a couple of places we needed to check out, and the police were hot on our asses. The last thing I needed now was to get locked up again.
I would have to wait a while before I saw her again.
***
I was the last person to arrive at the rundown bar. All the other gang members were already present, and Skinner gave me a hard as nails look when I finally took my seat.
“You get those tapes from the diner?” he asked straight away, as if that had been the first thing on his itinerary. I debated how much information to withhold from him. He wasn’t going to be happy if he found out exactly how much trouble we were in, but keeping him in the dark could make things even worse, compromising all of us. The men couldn’t lay low if they didn’t know what to watch out for.
“I got them,” I finally said. It was a fact, after all. I just didn’t know how much that damn owner knew. The guy was really starting to bug me, and I didn’t even know him.
“Good,” Skinner said. “I would hate something to happen just because you got careless.”
It was as close to a threat as I was going to get about the topic the way things were now. I should have said more, but I didn’t want someone else to take over the case. Skinner’s fingers tended to get itchy, and then he would swap someone else onto the job who he reckoned could get better results. And I didn’t want anyone else close to Tanya. She was mine, and I knew what effect she was going to have on my men. The same effect she’d had on me, no doubt. And if one of them got too close? Well, as Skinner had said, I would hate something to happen just because they got careless.
Some of the biggest gang fights were often within the gang itself. And with so many people comfortable with killing and breaking the law, it was bound to get a couple shades of ugly.
“I want to swap you over to security detail permanently,” Skinner said. “I liked what happened earlier. We’re keeping it tight now. Toke can swap out with you.”
And do what? I didn’t want him patrolling my neighborhood. I didn’t want him checking in on the diner. He was short, and he had a nasty streak that made up for it.
“With all due respect, Skinner, the rotation as it is now, is working out just fine,” I said. Skinner’s beady eyes turned to me, and they were dark and dangerous. The rest of the gang members held a collective breath. Skinner’s eyes stayed on me, and I fought the urge to squirm. Big bad biker guys didn’t buckle when their leaders pinned them with hard looks. But the atmosphere was thick and uncomfortable, and I took a deep breath that didn’t feel like it was doing anything for me at all.
“Well, why don’t you just go on ahead and tell me what else is working, too?” he said. His voice was hard, promising pain if I crossed him. He sounded like a dad who was warning his child to back off before he snapped and brought out his belt.
I took a deep breath, crossed my arms over my chest, and flexed my biceps. Looking big and menacing had gotten me out of a lot of trouble. It didn’t have the same effect on Skinner. He picked up on my vibe and stood up from his chair. He was bigger than I was, bigger and rougher looking, with a lot more experience under his belt.
He did the same, crossing his arms, and his eyes were dead when they stared into mine. Dead, and ready to cause more damage without even thinking twice about it. That was the one thing about our gang that I didn’t always like—a conscience was a rare thing.
We stared each other down. I didn’t know what was on Skinner’s mind, but I was trying to figure out how I was going to survive a showdown with my own boss. He looked at me long and hard, and then finally decided that we would have it out in private.
“You got something to say to me, we can deal with this in my office,” he said. I was relieved. The one way to lose respect from my fellow gangsters was challenging the leader and losing. And I hadn’t meant to challenge him in the first place. I just hadn’t wanted Toke close to my girl.
I kicked myself the moment I thought it. I could not start referring to her as my girl. I couldn’t refer to her as mine, period. Not even as a piece of ass. I couldn’t get involved with her. It was just going to make things harder for everyone involved, me the most, and it wasn’t worth it. No woman was ever worth it. The gang was tight, and we had each other’s backs. That was supposed to be enough.
Skinner sat back down, and so did I. The tension drained out of the room like it had never been there, and I could breathe again. Everyone else seemed more relaxed, too. Skinner talked about a couple of things, asked for feedback, and finally they filtered out of the bar one by one.
We didn’t walk back to Skinner’s office like he’d suggested. I was relieved. There were fewer exits from there. Skinner turned to me, leaned back in his chair, and folded his arms. It wasn’t as hostile as it had been before, but there was by no means any friendliness in those eyes.
“You think Toke isn’t good enough for your shift?” Skinner asked me. “You think there isn’t anyone else here good enough to do what you?”
I shook my head.
“I don’t want my men getting big heads. You’re not irreplaceable. I can find someone else just as big and nasty as you are. Just because we go way back doesn’t mean that I’m going to let this kind of thing slide.”
I nodded. I knew that. Skinner and I were close; we used to spend a lot of time on shifts where the heat was on and it was do or die. But this kind of job just didn’t have room for sentiment.
<
br /> “I just need to head back to the diner and make sure someone doesn’t squeal. I don’t know who saw the tapes before I got ahold of them.”
Skinner narrowed his eyes at me. He didn’t change position, but somehow his body language was suspicious now.
“How much of you was on that tape?”
I thought back to my face and my kutte in the frames. And Tanya’s legs, and me between them, her head tipped back…
“Enough to get me into trouble if I don’t play it safe,” I said.
“Dammit, Saxon. We can’t afford this kind of mistake,” Skinner said. “Running isn’t worth shit if you don’t watch your back while you do it. If the police catch up with you now, we’re all in for.”
“I know. I was an idiot, but I’m going to fix it.”
Skinner looked at me for long enough that I became uncomfortable. I didn’t want to tell him more. I didn’t want to admit that it was because of a woman. I didn’t want to admit that because of that woman, I wanted to be the one to go back there, not someone else.
“You clean up this mess. If you mess with our cover and blow things open for us, we’re cutting you loose. You’re not getting support from us if we can all get in danger.”
It stung, but it was the right thing to do. I knew that. It was exactly the same thing I would have done. It just hurt me that Skinner would be the one to do that to me. We’d come a long way, him and me.
And still we weren’t close enough that I could confide in him about Tanya. And in that lay the answer. I couldn’t trust him as much as I would have liked, after all. In fact, I trusted him probably just as far as he trusted me. And that wasn’t very far.
CHAPTER 9
I slammed a hand onto my alarm clock and pushed myself out of bed. The dim light of dawn fell into my room through a crack in the curtains, but the light was unstable, the night still close enough. It was damn early. The week had flown by, and Kenneth had made me work two extra late shifts.
I hadn’t been able to say no. I knew I was walking on thin ice with him. As much as he was a problem, he’d seen me on video, having sex in his office.
It wasn’t the kind of thing I could shrug off.
I rolled out of bed. My eyes felt swollen and gritty, and my head ached dully. I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep at all, between my late shifts and studying for my upcoming exams. At least, tonight, I was going to be able to get home earlier. I could cover that last chapter. Or maybe I would use the extra time to catch up sleep.
A lukewarm shower woke me up. I hadn’t had enough time after switching the water on for it to heat up. I stopped for coffee on the way, and by the time I got to the diner, I almost felt human again. Reggie arrived just after I did.
“Do you ever stop working?” she asked. “You were here when I left last night, you’re here before I arrive today… pushing so hard isn’t good, you know.”
I nodded and sighed.
“I can use the money. Besides, someone’s got to do it.”
“It doesn’t have to be you,” Reggie said. Together, we started wiping down tables before the first customers came in.
“How are your studies going?” she asked.
“One more year and then I’m out of here. Then I can finally start living it up.” Or sleep and relax for a change, I thought.
“Yeah? And then who will I have to gossip with?” she asked and smiled. Reggie was the kind of girl who would never get out of here. She’d started waitressing straight out of school, gotten married, and had kids, and she didn’t want anything more out of life.
“I’m sure we’ll keep in touch,” I said.
The door swung open and we both looked up. It was a bit early for customers, but you never knew. Kenneth stepped into the shop. Reggie carried on working. I glanced at him just a moment longer, feeling dread at his presence, before I carried on working, too.
“Tanya, see me in my office,” Kenneth said before he disappeared through the office door. I looked up at Reggie. She shrugged an I-don’t-know at me and walked toward the cabinet where we stored the serviette holders and the ketchup bottles when we locked up. I sighed and walked to Kenneth’s office.
“Yes, Kenneth?” I asked when I stepped through the door. I stayed just inside the doorway. I didn’t close the door behind me. I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with Kenneth since he’d gotten so personal with me the night Saxon had found me.
“I need you to work late tonight,” he said, not looking up from whatever he was writing.
“What?” I asked. “I already worked late twice this week.” Two nights more than I usually did.
“I’m short on waitresses,” he said, and he put down his pen and looked up at me. His eyes were dark and serious, and I couldn’t read what he was thinking.
“Can’t you hire someone temporarily until Dina comes back?” I asked. One of the other waitresses had gone on maternity leave. Kenneth shook his head.
“I think we’re okay with the staff we have. Besides, I know you like your overtime.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I knew exactly what this was about. He kept referring to the video and my relations with Saxon after I’d locked up. Kenneth wasn’t going to fire me, I realized. He was just going to keep using it against me to get what he wanted. Maybe I should have been relieved that it was overtime instead of something more intimate, but I was still getting upset.
“I really can’t do another late shift,” I said. “I’m exhausted and I need to rest. I haven’t had a day off in weeks, and I’ve worked a lot of overtime. Everyone needs a break.”
Kenneth looked at me, and his face was everything but friendly.
“I don’t think you’re really in a position to argue with me,” he said. “I expect you to lock up tonight. You don’t live that far from the diner anyway. It won’t take you long to get home.”
It was my turn to be cold with him. I narrowed my eyes. “How do you know how far I live from the diner?” I asked.
“Your address is in your file,” Kenneth said, waving it off as if it didn’t matter. But it did matter. And I doubted very much that he’d suddenly looked up my address in the file where it had been for several years.
“You followed me home, didn’t you?” I asked. Kenneth hardly skipped a beat, but I saw that hesitation. Just enough to let me know that I was right.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said.
“I can’t believe you,” I said, and I didn’t hide my anger now. “That’s got to be against some kind of law. That’s my privacy we’re talking about.”
He folded his hands on the desk and looked at me. “I just wanted you to be safe. It’s not a good neighborhood, and I’ve noticed people hanging around the diner that don’t mean well.”
I wondered if Saxon had been back. And if he had, why he hadn’t come in to say hello. I shook off the idea. I wasn’t supposed to be hoping to see him. He wasn’t a good guy. I had to stay away from men like that.
But I didn’t want to stay away from him.
“Don’t follow me home,” I said, and my voice was angry. Kenneth didn’t get a chance to answer me. I turned and walked out of his office.
“What was that all about?” Reggie asked. I wondered how much she’d heard.
“Late shift again tonight,” I said, and I didn’t hide the fact that I was pissed off about it.
Reggie sighed. “It might not be a bad thing if you get out of here,” she said, and maybe she’d heard more than I thought about the conversation. I was starting to think the same thing. But the fact that Kenneth had seen me on tape… he couldn’t do anything to me without evidence, though, and Saxon had the tapes now. I wondered if he’d watched them, or just gotten rid of them.
The idea that he’d watched them was hot. It shouldn’t have been. I should have been freaked out by the idea that he would watch it, perving over me as if I was some object. But instead, the idea that he wanted me again, wanted more of me, turned me on. I liked being wanted by someone like him who
could get anyone and anything he wanted.
The danger that came with him—and the lawlessness—was magnetic.
I worked my back-to-back shifts. The morning was busy as it usually was, and then it tapered down until late night. I just had my two readers again and a business woman going over contracts that looked like they were breaking her heart. Maybe a divorce. Maybe custody documents. We had all sorts of drama between these walls.
Kenneth was still in when Reggie left. I’d hoped he would get out of here before I was left completely alone to lock up so that I wouldn’t have to deal with him, but I’d half expected my luck to run out. He’d stayed in the office though. Maybe he would still leave me alone.
Filthy Ride: A Motorcycle Club Romance (Iron Bones MC) (Whiskey Bad Boys Book 3) Page 5
