I shook my head, pushing back my stool and slowly rising to my feet. The alcohol wasn’t making me numb like it usually did and the methadone doesn’t bring me to the state of oblivion I crave.
I’m a junkie.
A fucking junkie.
I’ve got the track marks on my arms to prove it.
And I make no apologies for it.
This is who I am, or what is left of who I used to be, depending on who you ask.
I feel her innocent eyes on me, burning a hole into my back, setting my cold heart on fire. I won’t turn around, I won’t even acknowledge her because I have enough demons and don’t need those dark sad eyes haunting me anymore than they already do.
Some people think I have a death wish, that I’m on a mission to end this nightmare I call life, and maybe for a while I thought they were right. A part of me wanted to join Christine, to see her one last time and make right all the wrong I did to her but when I nearly died, my body didn’t succumb to the darkness and fought against it. Jimmy Gold pumped me with enough drugs to kill me two times over but it was Reina, my president’s girlfriend who made me realize I wanted to live and I wanted to live for those dark eyes pinned to me right now.
Leather.
Lace.
Me.
Her.
A temptation so lethal, neither of us would survive.
Maybe I did have a death wish.
I stumbled into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, before I turned around and glanced at myself in the dirty mirror. Staring at my reflection, I wonder why she even looks at me and what someone as innocent and pure as her, sees in a poisonous bastard like me.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with five Xanax pills and slap the bag onto the counter. I divert my eyes back to the mirror and stare back at the piece of shit staring back at me.
“Fuck you,” I growl, hanging onto the feeling of self-loathing, welcoming it and encouraging it to overcome me. I slam my fist against the baggie on the counter, over and over again, crushing the pills until they turn to dust. I empty the dust onto the counter, not giving a fuck how dirty and disgusting the bathroom is because all that matters is my fix.
I’m in the zone, anxious for the high that hopefully will come and wash away my thoughts of her.
She is my savior and my assassin.
The one that keeps me from ending it.
And yet, right now I’m slowly killing myself trying to escape the thoughts of her.
Lacey Parrish. Jack’s daughter. His fucking nineteen-year-old daughter who wasn’t even legally allowed to order a fucking drink.
She’s not a fucking woman, just a little girl pretending to be one.
She was so innocent, so pure, so untouchable and untainted.
But I’m the filth that took her innocence, who touched her and tainted her.
I rolled the twenty-dollar bill and hunched over the counter dragging the bill across the powder of pills up my fucking nose.
One rip.
Another.
Three rips later, I licked my finger tips and swiped them across the counter top, before popping them into my mouth and sucking any residue of the pills from my skin.
No waste.
A true junkie.
I sniffled, wiping the excess powder from my nose before I turned around and unlocked the door and waited for the numbness to inebriate me as I stepped out of the bathroom, colliding with the soft body I once held in my arms.
I stared into her sad eyes, knowing I was the reason she looked broken, just a shell of the girl she was before I touched her. I ruined her, like I ruined Christine.
Everything I touch I destroy.
“How long are you going to pretend I don’t exist?” She finally asked, her voice just an octave above a whisper.
Pretend she doesn’t exist? She’s the only fucking thing that exists in my head. She’s the face I see when I wake, when I lay my head down and when I pass the fuck out from whatever poison I consume trying to forget that she does exist.
I shoved my hands into my pockets, taking a step closer to her, the scent of her worked its way through my raw nostrils, more intoxicating than any drug I could ever snort or shoot through my veins. I leaned closer, closing my eyes and got high off her.
“Until you disappear once and for all,” I said, opening my eyes and glaring at her.
Go away Lacey.
Smarten the fuck up.
Get out while you still can.
I pushed past her, leaving her alone in the hallway, knowing her eyes were full of tears that my words caused.
Cry.
Hate me.
I’m no good for you.
Run.
I ordered another shot, made it a double, and knocked it back. I placed the empty glass on the bar and from the corner of my eye I watched as she took her date’s hand and begged him to leave.
Thatta’ girl.
Get the fuck out of here.
“This one’s on the house,” the bartender offered, sliding me a refill.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“The bill is on the table,” someone said from behind me, causing me to glance over my shoulder and look at the kid holding Lacey’s hand.
Treat her good.
She didn’t look at me, keeping her back towards me as she followed him out the door and disappeared like I asked her too.
She should only know I’d spend the rest of the night thinking about her, that she’d never fucking disappear because she haunted me. All of her, the way her hands trembled as she undressed herself, the way I guided her hands to my body and the way I took hers. The tears she cried that night and the words I wounded her with.
That was just the first night where lines were crossed but, there were a shitload more incidents when I wreaked havoc on Lacey. But that night? That was the night I claimed her. In my dark world of self-destruction and mayhem, I selfishly took Lacey, branding her mine and I continue to brand her and mark her with my actions and my words.
Don’t think for one second that the few words I said to her tonight wasn’t a mark, purposely branded to her, scarring her, ruining her for any other man. Others piss on their territory, I destroy mine. For every track mark on my arms she has a matching one on her heart.
Lacey was mine.
She didn’t know it but any man who ever loves her will. She won’t be able to give them all of her because I’ve taken most of her and I’ll never give it back.
I can’t have her but no one else can either.
I’m a selfish motherfucker.
A greedy son-of-a-bitch.
I’m a junkie and when drugs no longer do it for me I’ll get high on pain and suffering.
My own.
Hers.
And all the faceless men that will one day try to take her from me.
I finished my drink, paid my tab and walked over to the nomads hanging around the pool table, a new group of brothers that patched into our charter of the Satan’s Knights. My eyes zeroed in on Stryker’s as his peered back at me questioningly, trying to figure me out. The poor bastard has no idea what he signed up for. None of them did. I said my goodbyes and made my way out of the bar, letting the cool breeze blow over me as I walked towards the parking lot.
I could feel the high starting to work me over as I strode to my bike and thought the drugs were finally kicking in but it wasn’t the manufactured shit that called to me.
It was her.
Her voice.
Her cries.
I closed my eyes as they consumed me, pulling me away from my surroundings and into a world where only she existed.
“Get off of me! Please! Someone help!”
So real.
I opened my eyes.
“Fucking bitch. Get the fuck back here!”
So fucking real.
My eyes drifted across the lot to where the sounds were coming fro
m and the sobering image of my Lacey struggling to crawl out of a car, screaming into the dark parking lot for someone to help her.
Fuck no.
Hell motherfucking no.
I felt my fists clench at my sides, my breath quickens and my heart rockets against my chest cavity as my boots pounded the tar of the parking lot. I reached the driver’s side of the car, yanked opened the door and reached for the cocksucker leaning over the console, pulling Lacey’s hair. His fucking pants were around his ankles and his dick was hard when I pulled him off her and slammed him against the side of the car.
“What the fuck?” he sneered.
“Motherfucker, you know what no means? Huh?” I shouted as my fist collided with his jaw. The adrenaline soaring in my veins as I pummeled his face with my fist.
“No, stop!” He cried. “Please, I’m sorry! Help!”
“You didn’t stop when she said no, did you?” I grabbed him by his ears and threw him onto the ground, wedging my boot between his legs, crushing his balls.
“Blackie!” Lacey shouted.
“Now, I won’t stop. I’ll ignore your cries just like you ignored hers. C’mon motherfucker, cry for me. Cry like the bitch you are,” I demanded, grabbing his hair and slamming his skull against the pavement.
“CRY!” I shouted, lifting him by the ears and slamming his head against the ground again.
“WEEP MOTHERFUCKER!”
Blood poured from his mouth, his nose and the back of his head as his eyes stared back at me wide with terror. I tugged his face close to mine, his blood dripping onto my hands as I leaned close and looked into his eyes that were half closed.
“Open your fucking eyes. Look at me!” I ordered.
“Blackie, the cops are coming! Please stop!” Lacey cried from somewhere behind me.
“Blackie man, you need to get the fuck out of here. Let’s go,” Stryker called.
Voices surrounded me, yelling at me, warning me, but I ignored them all.
“LOOK AT ME!” I shouted, yanking on his ears until he struggled to meet my gaze.
“You see this face? Remember it. I’m the one who fucking did this to you,” I hissed, before slamming the back of his head against the ground.
The voices faded.
The sirens faded.
All I heard was the sound of bones crushing, shattering and the cries of a man dying.
No.
Motherfucker knew what the word meant now.
Someone grabbed me from behind, pulling me off him and yanked my hands behind my back. I tore my eyes away from the body on the floor and took in my surroundings as I felt the cold metal tighten around my wrists.
“Dominic Petra, you are under arrest,” Officer Brantley’s voice sounded in my ear. “You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney….”
He continued to read me my rights as my eyes locked with Lacey’s.
Dark and dull, wrecked and ruined. My beautiful innocent Lacey tainted by my selfish sadistic ways, stared back at me. I watched the tears fall down her cheeks, each droplet another mark. Those tears were as much mine as everything else about her was.
Mine.
Always mine.
Leather.
Lace.
Me.
Her.
So fucking tempting.
So fucking lethal.
Other Book in The Tempted Series
The Tempted Series:
Illicit Temptations (Book One) *can be read as standalone*
Michael Valente
My father was the underboss of an organized crime family. He was murdered when I was a teenager leaving me broken. My mother died in a tragic accident, her death annihilated me. My life was in shambles until Victor Pastore, one of New York’s most notorious gangsters and my late father’s best friend, recruited me to work for him.
Everyone expected me to walk in my father’s shadow, to be the prodigal son, the next big thing to hit the mob. I was torn between filling those expectations and walking the straight line my mother wished I had. Nothing made sense and I felt as if I was just passing through life.
The only beacon of light in my otherwise dark world was the one girl that was off limits to me. The one girl who could bring me to my knees consuming my mind, body and soul.
She’s the sweetest temptation I’ve ever known and the most illicit.
Nikki Pastore
My father’s a gangster. My boyfriend’s is the king of New York’s night clubs. I am often labeled as Vic’s daughter or Rico’s girl, never just Nikki. I struggle for people to acknowledge me for the woman I am and not for the men in my life. I’m fighting a losing battle.
There is only one person who sees me for me, my Mikey.
He’s wild.
He’s reckless.
He’s hot as hell.
He’s completely unattainable but oh so tempting.
Forbidden Temptations (Book Two) *can be read as standalone*
Anthony Bianci
Since I was a kid all I ever wanted to be was a gangster. I wanted to be feared, to be respected, and for everyone to know my name.
And then she came into my life.
I never planned on falling in love with the mob boss’ daughter. She was forbidden but somehow she became mine. She made me crave things I didn’t even know existed and made me forget about the things I thought I wanted. My quest for power faded away and was replaced by my undying love for her.
Until reality bit me in the ass and I was sent to prison for three years, doing time for a crime I didn’t commit.
Now I’m out and she is creating a life for herself, just like I always wanted for her. Only I’m not a part of that life. I won’t ruin her any more than I already have with my poisonous lifestyle.
No matter how tempted I am.
Adrianna Pastore
I wanted him from the very first time I laid eyes on him.
He was everything to me, my first love and probably my last.
Then my father ruined our perfect little life, and he walked away from me.
I tried to fight for him, for our love, but he pushed me away.
When the love you crave is beautiful, yet forbidden, you can’t help being tempted.
So I’ll fight for him. For us.
Even if I’m the only one fighting.
Uncontrollable Temptations (Book Three) *can be read as standalone*
Jack “Bulldog” Parrish
Crazy: Mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.
I was thirteen when I discovered the definition of the word I’d forever be labeled.
Some used it as a figure of speech but for me it was a scar I’d carry through life.
Or so I believed until I was diagnosed a manic depressive.
I’m the president of the Satan’s Knights Motorcycle Club, a man of power and control.
A man with enemies near and far.
But the truth, my truth, is my biggest enemy— my mind and I live most of my life with no control whatsoever.
I’m just a man who battles his demons, a man destined to live a life full of darkness.
Until her.
She’s the light beckoning me, calling me home, away from the torment.
In a world as dark as the one I live in, sometimes I can’t help but crave Sunshine.
Reina DeCarlo
I was lost, broken and a prisoner of my scars.
A shell of the woman I used to be, who didn’t know the difference between living and merely existing.
Until a stranger found me, fixed and freed me. He breathed life into my soul, reminding me I was a survivor and still had life to live.
My savior is a biker.
A man tortured by his own scars. A man broken like me, maybe even a little lost too.
I want to be his remedy.
I want to heal him.
I want to return the favor a
nd be his savior.
This is our story, a story neither of us knew how to write until we found each other.
Playlist Reckless Temptations
– You can find it on Spotify – Follow Janine and all the playlists of the Tempted Series.
Someone New by Hozier
Ex’s & Oh’s by Elle King
Like I’m Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor, John Legend
Marvin Gaye (feat. Meghan Trainor, Charlie Puth
Only Love by Shaggy, Pitbull, Gene Noble
Ladies Come First by Hinder
Drunk Enough by Angels Fall
Sorry by Justin Bieber
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith
If I Die Young by The Band Perry
If You Want A Bad Boy by Brantley Gilbert
My House by Flo Rida
Dirt Off Your Shoulder by Jay Z. Linkin Park
Big Pimpin’/Papercut by Jay Z, Linkin Park
Last Night feat. Keyshia by Diddy
Gold Digger by Kanye West / Jamie Foxx
Pony by Ginuwine
Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran
Let It Go by James Bay
Nobody Knows by The Tony Rich Project
Blessed by Elton John
One Call Away by Charlie Puth
See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) by Wiz Khalifa
Knock You Down by Keri Hilson, Kanye West
Other Books by Janine
The Riverdale Series: *should be read in series order*
Pieces – Book One
Broken Pieces – Book Two
Fitting the Pieces – Book Three
Jake’s Journal (Book 3.5) novella – companion to the series.
About the Author
Janine Infante Bosco lives in New York City, she has always loved reading and writing. When she was thirteen, she began to write her own stories and her passion for writing took off as the years went on. At eighteen, she even wrote a full screenplay with dreams of one day becoming a member of the Screen Actors Guild.
Janine writes emotionally charged novels with an emphasis on family bonds, strong willed female characters, and alpha male men who will do anything for the women they love. She loves to interact with fans and fellow avid romance readers like herself.
Reckless Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 4) Page 36
