She was sitting in the kitchen, with a cigarette in her hand. I could see how bad she was shaking as I got closer. I placed my hand on her shoulders and began massaging them. “Sorry.”
She shook my hands away. “I can’t do this anymore, Joey. For years I’ve thought that you’d change someday, but it’s never goin’ to happen. I’ve tried to not have feelin’s for you. I’ve tried to act like none of this bothers me, but I know you see other women and you showin’ up once a week for sex isn’t enough for me anymore. You’re never goin’ to love anyone. I get it. I just can’t deal with it any longer. So, please, just go. Find someone else.”
I wasn’t surprised that she was over-reacting, but didn’t want to walk out that door and have hard feelings between us. It was also obvious that I couldn’t feed her with false hope. “I care about you, Candace. That’s not a lie.”
She shook her head, but wouldn’t look at me. “I’m tired of waitin’ for someone that’s incapable of lovin’ someone. Face it, Joey. The only woman that you’ll ever give two shits about is your own mother.”
“It ain’t my fault, you know. I can’t make myself feel somethin’ that I don’t.”
She finally turned around and gave me the most disappointing look. “I never asked you to lie. This is on me. I let it go on for too long. My problem is that I wanted more. I want a family and a future. I can’t live here and give massages for the rest of my life. I can’t wake up every day knowing that the man I’m in love with is out fuckin’ women with no regard for our feelin’s. And you know what? They’re probably in love with you, too, you son of a bitch.”
“I thought we were on the same page.” Surely the other women in my life weren’t like Candace.
“You thought wrong,” she argued and took another drag of her cigarette.
I sat down across from her and took her hand. “Look, how about you come back to your room and I make you feel better?”
She picked up a bottle of water that was sitting on the table and threw it at my head. I swatted it away with my hand and stood up while she began to scream.
“Get out! Get the fuck out of my house!”
I kicked the bottle of water before busting out of her front door and not looking back. Candace would most likely call apologizing in a couple days, especially when I didn’t show up on Wednesday. I’d been an insensitive asshole and I knew it.
My day kept getting shittier and I knew the best thing for me was to go home. My attempts at relieving stress had caused me even more.
Once I got on the highway, my mind left Candace and went right back to Lacey and how she’d dissed me. Now, because of her, I’d lost my Wednesday standing appointment. No woman had ever pulled my strings and gotten me so messed up in the head. If I didn’t figure out what the hell was going on, I was certain I would lose my mind, or burn even more bridges.
Getting into Lacey’s pants was turning out to be more drama than I had anticipated. Had I have known that this would be the outcome, I may not have done it.
Or maybe I would have.
I pulled into the driveway and saw that she wasn’t there. Ford was outside washing Sky’s car. I think he knew what I was going to ask, even before I opened my mouth. “How do I reach her?”
He laughed and kept squirting the hose. “Seriously, man. Let it go. Can’t you see that she doesn’t want this? Sky spent the whole day tryin’ to get her to calm down. Now she’s upset too. I told you to stay away. We both know you have plenty bitches to call for pussy. Why’d you have to reach in her honey pot?”
I ran my hand through my hair and looked around the yard. “I don’t know. She’s just different.”
He got up in my face and tossed the hose on the ground. “You’re damn right she’s different. She’s not a hoe. Lacey’s a nice girl that’s got enough guy problems. You’re the last thing she ever needed to get involved with. Do the right thing and let it be. Please for the sake of my girlfriend cuttin’ me off forever. You’re screwin’ with my dick man.”
I scrunched up my face, realizing what needed to be said. The words felt like poison coming out of my mouth. “I like her, Ford. She’s in my head.”
“Well, you need to stop thinkin’ about it.”
Chapter 15
I made it into the house before I let my temper fly. My keys were the first thing that I tossed across the room. I was more frustrated than pissed off. Lacey was obviously pissed about sleeping with me, while my cousin was basically threatening me to back off and leave her alone.
I wanted answers and I was determined to get them.
Since Ford was going to be a dick about me calling her, I took it upon myself to find a way to reach her. Social media was the easiest solution and after looking on Sky’s page I was able to find Lacey. I didn’t know how often she checked her messages, but I knew that she’d eventually talk to me.
I thought about what I wanted to say to her. For the most part I wanted to let her know how pissed I was about her avoiding me. Knowing that if I took that approach, she’d definitely refuse a conversation. Lacey was fragile and unlike earlier with Candace, I needed to be more sensitive.
I typed a short personal message and hit send.
Lace, if I said something or did something to piss you off, I don’t know what it was.
I watched the screen, waiting for her to reply, but nothing happened. The thing was, in the certain messenger program that I had, I could see that she’d read it.
She needed more coaxing. You came on to me last night. I didn’t make you take off your clothes and seduce me.
The screen said she was typing and I sat there on the couch waiting for what she was going to say. Part of me was just hoping she would say that Ford was making her stay away.
It was a mistake.
Her words were like a knife. I’d known all along that I was trying to get into her pants from the moment we met. The thing was, something had changed. I wasn’t okay with her regretting our night together.
I needed to remind her. She couldn’t keep denying what I witnessed for myself.
You didn’t act like it last night, when I was making you cum over and over. What happened? Did you like it too much? Are you afraid to admit that it was even better than I said it would be? Is that what’s gotten you in such a tizzy?
Her response was short and cold, again.
Leave me alone, Joey!
I had to offer another approach. I got Lacey into my bed after driving her crazy for weeks. If anything were to get her attention, it was that.
I can’t do that. You see, ever since I tasted your sweet pussy, it’s all I can think about. I fucked up four orders today at the diner because I couldn’t stop thinking of how good it felt to wake up next to you.
It took her a few minutes to respond and when she did, she was wasn’t forthcoming. Instead, she was pushing my buttons right back.
I bet you tell that to all of the girls.
She had just given me a virtual kick in the balls. I deserved it, I suppose. I mean, I’d done nothing but brag about my lifestyle to her. Of course she was going to throw it all in my face. If I wanted this woman to ever be in my bed again, I had to keep my cool and remember she wasn’t like the others.
I’ve never lied to you, Lacey. I’ve also never let a woman stay the night, because it made things personal. You’re the first woman to spend the night in my arms.
I don’t believe you.
How could I blame her?
I don’t believe you either. You act like last night wasn’t great for you. I woke up wanting more and I know you did too. Now, I don’t know what happened while I was gone, but something got you spooked. I’ll leave you alone, but you know where to find me when you’re ready to admit that you want more.
I hate to burst your bubble, but you aren’t as good as you think you are.
Our conversation wasn’t going as planned. Instead of wooing her back to my place, I was getting shot down. Her defensiveness kept me motivated.
Does it bother you more that you enjoyed it, or the fact that I was right all along? Tell me, Lacey, when you’re naked in that bed, will you close your eyes and picture me eating that sweet pussy? Did you memorize how I fucked you and made you cum with my tongue?
Don’t you have someone else to annoy?
I shut my laptop and sat it down next to me. I’d tried so hard to get her to admit she enjoyed being with me, but instead I was wondering if maybe I’d been imagining it. I needed to hear her voice to be sure. Typing shit on the computer was easy, but saying it out loud to the person was harder.
Ford was going to be pissed, but I went over to his place and told Sky I couldn’t find my phone. She gave me hers to take over to my place and look for it. I wasted no time closing my door and dialing Lacey’s number.
She answered assuming it was her best friend.
“I’m fine. I even ignored Joey when he tried to talk to me. Are you proud of me?”
I couldn’t keep from laughing. I hadn’t even asked anything and she was already proving what I suspected.
“You’re sexy when you’re playin’ hard to get.”
“Joey? Seriously, how did you get Sky’s phone? I know she wouldn’t just give it to you.” She was obviously pissed.
“I told her I couldn’t find mine, so I needed to borrow hers to call it. I knew she wouldn’t just let me call you and I knew you wouldn’t answer if I tried from my phone. We need to talk, Lace. I gave you what you wanted last night, even after tellin’ you that it was goin’ to change things between us. Don’t give me that bullshit that I need to leave you alone. You and I were the only people in that bed last night and I know you weren’t thinkin’ about anyone else but me.”
She wouldn’t answer. I checked the phone to make sure she hadn’t hung up.
“Say something, Lacey.”
“What do you want me to say? Do you want to hear that last night was amazing? Do you want me to say that I can’t get you out of my head? Is that how you get off? Do you like stringing women on?”
I didn’t call her to have a deep conversation, but there we were. I knew Ford and Sky had been telling her to stay away, albeit I didn’t appreciate them painting a picture of me that they had no business doing. Nobody knew about the women I was with except for them and me.
I bit my tongue before saying something that would make her hang up and never speak to me again. I got into a state of panic imagining her hating me. Once again, I was weeding through uncharted territory and I couldn’t stop even if I tried. The truth was, I had real feelings for Lacey. Admitting it out loud was the first step in figuring the rest out.
“What the fuck? Who has been puttin’ this bullshit in your head? Did I ever make you feel like you were one of many? I told you that you were different and I meant that shit. If you were just some other woman, I would have fucked you and sent you on your way. That ain’t what happened and you know it. You can believe everyone else, but it’s a lie. I didn’t just want to fuck you, Lacey. I thought you knew that.”
“Maybe I’m more mad at myself.”
“For what?”
“For thinking you could make me forget about Shayne. I’m sorry I used you, Joey. I’ll stay away from Sky’s place so you won’t have to be around me.”
“Lace…”
After she’d hung up, I stared at the phone.
For as long as I’d been involved with women, I’d never given two shits about feelings. My goals had been my first priority and I was determined to get what I wanted.
I never anticipated that some broad could come into my life and mess with my head the way that Lacey did. The worst part was that I’d done all of this to myself by pushing her to be with me. I’d caused all of this to take place and I couldn’t regret it.
I didn’t try to call Lacey back, or bother her online. She wanted space and I had to respect that. I’m not going to lie and say that it was easy knowing she was going on like nothing had happened between us. It drove me bat-shit.
Day after day I put on a straight face and went to work. The longer it went, the harder it was to not think about her. Wednesday came and went and Candace never called me. I drove by her house. Not only was her car not there, but the lights were all out in the windows, as if she wasn’t home at all.
In a matter of about a month, everything was so fucked up.
I had plans for success and after one night with Lacey, I was questioning everything. I couldn’t sleep in my bed at night, because it reminded me of her. Not that I could rest anyway. Every time I closed my eyes, I thought about her and how it felt to have her in my arms. I wanted another chance to explore what was happening to me, but as the days went by, I was losing hope of it ever happening again.
On Thursday I got a call from one of my hookups. Her name was Sam and she no longer lived in Maryland. Her job had taken her to Seattle and she was only home to visit her sick mother. Since visiting hours were over around eight, she had time to kill and wanted to hook up.
I got cleaned up and headed over, hoping that Sam would be able to take care of the ache in my dick. Her hair was lighter, but still on the dark side and her bright blue eyes reminded me of all the fun we used to have together. She greeted me with a long kiss and by the time we pulled away, I had my arms around her. “Long time no see.”
“You look good, Joey.”
“So do you. Come inside and we can catch up.”
She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I’d been in her mother’s house before and not a lot had changed.
The woman owned a coffee shop and book store in a town called Trapp. She also sold unique books and gifts and had managed to make enough to send Sam to college.
Unfortunately, she had Lupus and it landed her in the hospital and unable to work. Sam had a brother, who always managed to take care of her, but he was in the military and doing a tour in Germany.
“I’m sorry about your mother.”
She smiled and grabbed the front of my pants, pulling me up against her. “Thanks. How about we catch up after our clothes are off?”
My cock started to respond to her offer, but something happened when our lips met for the second time, or maybe I should say nothing happened.
I was standing there, kissing this chick, with all intentions of fucking her senseless, and all I could think about was Lacey. I compared the way Sam’s tongue played against mine. Her hands started to explore my chest and I thought about the first time Lacey had touched me that way.
My dick wouldn’t react.
I smiled and ran my hands up her back, trying to clear my head so I could have a good time. Sam liked it rough. She liked to be spanked and use toys. I’d missed the fun we had together and was looking forward to doing it again.
For the first time in my life, my dick wouldn’t respond.
I tried to think about the last time we’d seen each other.
Nothing was happening.
She pulled away and gave me a weird look. “Is there something you want to tell me, because from what I can remember, you never had trouble like this before.” Sam reached down and touched my soft cock over my jeans.
I backed up and shook my head, feeling quite embarrassed over my sudden predicament. “Fuck!”
“What’s wrong?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and looked right into her eyes. “Sam, I’m real sorry, but this ain’t goin’ to happen.”
I walked out before she could respond. She wouldn’t be calling me again.
At least I had a picture to remember her by. At the rate I was heading, I’d be beating off to the pictures of women that I’d been fucking for years. It was pathetic.
Chapter 16
By the time that Friday rolled around, I was too messed up to go to work. The only place I went was to the liquor store to grab a case of beer. Instead of sitting on my couch and drinking the whole thing, I had six before noon and decided to work on the exhaust of my car.
It was starting to get dark when I heard a car pul
l into the driveway. Sky and Ford had been home for an hour, so I knew it had to be someone else. Considering that they’d ordered a pizza, and I was starving, I knew I’d be over their place eventually.
Then I recognized her shoes trying to run by before I could notice it was her. She wasn’t getting away that easily.
It only took me a second to slide out from the under the car.
“Lacey, hold up a minute.” I couldn’t believe that she was actually in front of me.
She turned around and gave me a serious look. She seemed pissed to see me. “What?”
I knew I probably smelled like motor oil and filth and my hands were covered in grease. I ran my hands over my jeans to clean them before I touched her cheek. She closed her eyes for a second.
My heart began to beat faster when I noticed her reaction to my touch. Everything about that night and the connection we shared was obvious. It had been mutual, just as I had suspected. “Did you come here to see your friend, or me?”
She pushed me away. “Don’t flatter yourself, Joey. I came here to see Sky. It’s the weekend. This is where I come. Nothing has changed.”
I wasn’t about to take no for an answer. I pushed her against the building and reached between her legs, rubbing her over her pants. “Everything’s changed. Stop pretendin’ you don’t want more.”
She tried to fight her way free, but I wasn’t about to let her go. My dick was already responding and since it had failed me the day before, I knew I needed release. Besides, I’d had so much pent up frustration over what she was making me feel that I wanted answers. “I don’t.”
I kissed her, with no regard for what might happen. I had those puffy lips against mine. In a matter of seconds I realized that she wasn’t fighting me. She was kissing me back and it was full of emotion. The electrifying connection was back and I was starving for more of it.
Restore Me (Book 2.5 Kin Series) Page 10
