“Oh, for pity sake, he’d been in Canada for five years,” Elizabeth mumbled. She looked away as both Will and Abigail glanced over at her.
“Are you all right, Elizabeth?” Will asked softly.
“Perfectly fine,” she bit out.
Will appeared to be suppressing a smile. “Abigail, we have been apart for five years. Why this sudden rush of feelings?”
Abigail looked away as her face turned white. “I have always loved you, Will. But the idea of marrying Josiah made me realize just how strong those feelings were. I realized that I could not live without you.”
Elizabeth bit her tongue so as not to interfere with their conversation. All the while, her anger rose. She wanted to scoff at Abigail and chase her from this house. But that was for Will to decide, not her.
“Why did you write that letter to me stating you agreed with your father to marry Josiah?” Will asked.
“Oh, Will,” she cried. “My father made me write that letter. He sat at the table next to me and forced me to write every word. I had no choice.”
Oh, dear God, Elizabeth thought. Will was starting to believe the charlatan. “Why did you not send a second letter, written in private, of course, explaining the situation?”
“Elizabeth,” Will warned. “This is my business.”
“Yes, Will,” Abigail complained. “Why is she here for our private conversation?”
“That is enough, Abigail. Elizabeth is my cousin, and as such, she has a right to be here.”
Abigail narrowed her gaze on Elizabeth. “It seems a little inappropriate, if you ask me.”
“I do not think anyone asked you.” Elizabeth wanted to reach over and strangle the woman.
Abigail stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. “Will, I believe our conversation is finished as long as she is in the room.”
Will shook his head. “Elizabeth, leave us. I will speak with you when we are done.”
Abigail sent Elizabeth a smug smile. “Now we can plan our wedding, Will.”
Wedding! Elizabeth’s head spun. She couldn’t let him marry Abigail. There had to be some way she could stop them. The comment sent Elizabeth over a great precipice, and the words tumbled out before she could stop them.
“Will, you cannot marry her. I am with child.” Elizabeth clapped her hand over her mouth. How could she have said that?
“What!” Will exclaimed, rising from his chair and staring at her.
“Will! You did…that…with her!” Abigail shrieked.
“Elizabeth, go up to your room. We will talk in a little while. I must speak with Abigail.” Will slowly sat back into his chair.
“Will!” Abigail exclaimed again.
“Sit down, Abigail.”
Elizabeth walked out of the room with leaden feet. How could she have blurted out such a lie? She would not know for weeks if she was with child. What made her say such a thing?
She sat on her bed and noticed the diaries still on her nightstand. They had both forgotten to hide them again. As she sat there staring at those books, Elizabeth’s mind wandered back to what her mother had done. She had manipulated that footman to get what she wanted.
Elizabeth cringed as she grabbed the diary off the table and opened it up again. She scanned through the entries and found numerous examples of her mother using sex to get what she wanted. She had wanted to refurbish the house in Hampshire, so she agreed to let the duke watch her have sexual congress with another man. When she wanted a new oil painting for the great hall in Kendal, she agreed to have sex with the duke and four other men at the same time.
The entries only served to sadden Elizabeth. Her mother must have hated what she had done. But as Elizabeth continued to read, she could find no entries showing her mother’s feelings about it. On one day, her mother expressed how much she enjoyed a visit from Lord H because he was so much bigger than the duke. Perhaps her mother hadn’t minded at all.
Elizabeth put the book down and thought about her own actions. Guilt filled her as she remembered being flirtatious with Will in order to continue to stay in this house. Then there was that dreadful thought that she had first made love in the music room to get him to stay in England. Had that been the reason she had done such a thing?
No. She could not be as manipulative as her mother. But if that was the case, why had she blurted out that she was with child? Perhaps she did it only to keep Will from marrying Abigail, but it was still manipulation.
Sophie had told her that he had to make the decision regarding Abigail, but Elizabeth refused to listen. She sank deep into her pillows and let her tears fall. She had done it to control the situation to get what she wanted. Just like her mother.
But Elizabeth knew she couldn’t let Abigail marry Will. The woman had deliberately lied to him. Elizabeth pounded the pillow in frustration.
None of it mattered any longer. After all she had done to get her way, and then discovering who her father was, she could never marry Will. He deserved far better than a woman who used her wiles to get something out of him. Her heart ached with the love she had for him.
She wanted to be the one to show him the importance of being duke. She had wanted to be the one to celebrate a victory in Parliament with him. Or visit the tenants with him.
Or watch his face when he saw his heir for the first time.
Now, because of her actions, and the actions of her mother, Elizabeth would never have those things. Instead, she would go live with Sophie until she could determine a path for her future. A bleak future, indeed.
“You were actually with that…that woman!” Abigail exclaimed once Elizabeth left the room.
“Yes,” Will answered honestly. He did not care if Abigail learned the truth. With Elizabeth’s pregnancy, they would have to be married as quickly as possible. Abigail knew no one in London, so she would not be gossiping.
“I cannot believe it. She must have tricked you into her bed.”
“Why would she have to do such a thing?”
Disbelief showed on her face. “She has red hair…and freckles!”
And was one of the most beautiful women Will had ever known. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Oh, Will, she enticed you into her bed so she could become the next duchess,” Abigail said with a slight sob. “She wanted to take you away from me.”
“Abigail, nothing happened until after you sent me that note stating you were going to marry Josiah. I had been completely faithful to you for all those years, waiting for you to realize how much I loved you.”
“Then you do still love me.” Abigail brushed away a tear. “Then everything will be fine. You can pay her money to have the baby in the country, or even in another country. I am sure we can make up a lie for her, such as she is a widow—”
“Abigail, no.” Will could not believe the woman he thought he once loved would be so heartless.
“What do you mean, no?”
“I am not about to give Elizabeth money to go have my child alone.”
Abigail shook her head with a pitiful look upon her face. “Will, you do not even know that baby is yours.”
Will clenched his fists. “Yes, I do know.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
“I am sorry, Abigail. But I am marrying Elizabeth.” Will stood and held his hand out to her. “I will see to your passage back to Virginia.”
“I cannot return. I will be a laughingstock. I have ruined all chances of a decent marriage.”
“No, you have not. People will understand that I married another,” Will replied.
Abigail thrust his hand away from her and stood. “You are a fool, William Atherton. That woman is just trying to become your duchess. She has no love for you.”
“Indeed,” Will said softly. “How is that any different from what you have been doing?”
“How dare you! I have never thought about being your duchess, only your wife. I love you, Will.” Abigail appeared to force out more tears. “I could not disobe
y my father.”
Remembering Elizabeth’s words from when he first arrived in London, he said, “If you truly loved me, your father’s wishes would not have mattered.”
She stiffened and held her head high. “When that little strumpet shows her true colors, I will be waiting for you.”
“Before you leave, give my footman the name of the inn where you are staying.”
“Why?”
“So I can send your ship passage there.” Will started toward the doorway. He turned at the last minute and looked at her again. “Good-bye, Abigail.”
Chapter 25
Will had never felt so relieved as when the door shut behind Abigail. He waited in the back hallway to make certain she left. She was gone. The woman he once thought he loved had come to him, defying her father, and he’d rejected her. When he thought about it like that, he felt a twinge of guilt. But something did not seem right about Abigail’s sudden arrival.
It just wasn’t like Abigail to do something quite so rash. There had to be a better reason for why she could not marry him earlier. Not that it mattered any longer. The most important thing was to speak with Elizabeth.
They had a wedding to plan and a baby to think about now. He walked up the steps and down the hall to her room. He knocked softly on her bedroom door, waiting for a reply.
“Go away, Will.”
“We need to talk, Elizabeth,” he replied to the door.
“No, I cannot talk right now. I need some time to think.”
Think? “About what?” He tried the knob but found it locked. She had locked him out.
“Us.”
He barely heard her whispered reply. “Elizabeth, let me in now.”
“No.”
“Very well, I shall be in my study.” Will strode to his study and then stood in the room. It seemed very empty today with Ellie and Lucy making calls to some of their new friends and the boys off riding in the park. The only other person left was Sarah. And she was probably upstairs with her governess learning her letters.
He didn’t like it when the house was this quiet. Especially when Elizabeth was home and probably crying in her room. He wanted to go to her again. Make her understand that everything would be all right. They would marry and love each other. They would not behave like her parents.
Will believed in love and marriage. After watching his father attempting to recover from his mother’s death, there was never a doubt in Will’s mind how much his father loved her. And if it hadn’t been for Betsy, his stepmother, his father might have lost his mind. She was the person who helped him through his grief. She taught him to love again.
And Will was certain he loved Elizabeth in the same manner. He never wanted to see her hurt and as pained as she was now. If she would just let him explain. She might not even know that Abigail was gone for good.
He was done waiting for Elizabeth to talk with him. He walked back up the steps again, determined to speak with her this time. Pounding on her bedroom door, he said, “Elizabeth, let me in now. We need to talk.”
“Yes, we do,” she said from behind the closed door. “But not here. I will be downstairs presently.”
“Very well.”
Elizabeth stared at the door to her bedroom and then to the valise she had packed. After spending the past hour reflecting upon her actions, she was certain there was only one outcome. Once she told him everything, he would want her to leave. She expected it.
She inhaled sharply, trying to ignore the pain in her heart. As she walked down the steps, she looked at the house that had been her home for twenty-six years. She’d always loved this house more than the estates. It was smaller and more intimate.
Her heels clicked softly on the marble floor as she walked to his study. Every step brought her closer to him, and closer to leaving. She could do this, she told herself. The time spent in her room had been an attempt to gain her confidence and tell him the truth. The awful truth. The sordid truth. At least once she left, he could dedicate the rest of the Season to finding a wife worthy of being the next duchess.
She knocked on the door and then entered quietly. He stood near the window looking out until he heard her cross the threshold.
“Elizabeth,” he whispered.
The look of love in his eyes almost forced her to retreat. Once she told him what she’d done, he would hate her for it. Almost as much as she hated herself.
“Will, sit down so we can talk.”
“Of course.” Will sat down in the chair closest to the fireplace. “Come sit close to me.”
“No. I need to stand.” Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment, and then blinked them open. “Will, I am not with child. At least not that I know of.”
Will frowned, his gaze moving from her face to her belly. “I do not understand. Why would you announce such a thing in front of Abigail if you were not with child?”
This was more difficult than she even imagined. “Sophie and I were at the bookshop today, and by chance, so was Abigail. And her father.”
“Her father is in Virginia, Elizabeth. The man despises England and never would have allowed her to come, much less come here himself.”
“Will, I was standing in the aisle next to them. I heard them both.”
“You never met Abigail until she arrived here today. How could you possibly have known it was her?” His voice grew deeper with anger as he spoke.
He didn’t believe her. She hadn’t thought it possible. He must still love Abigail after all. “The man called her Abigail, she called him Father, and he talked about her becoming the Duchess of Kendal. That could only mean marrying you.”
“Even if she did, that doesn’t excuse your actions today. Why did you lie to me?”
“I felt I had no choice. I was certain you wouldn’t believe me over Abigail, and I knew she was lying to you.” Elizabeth wrung her hands in despair. She wanted desperately for him to believe her. “I blurted it out to protect you,” she whispered.
“Elizabeth,” Will said, then paused, staring down at his clenched hands. “Did you tell me you were pregnant to get me to marry you?”
“Yes, no, I don’t know!” Elizabeth tried to blink away the tears but they continued to fill her eyes. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You cannot marry me.”
“And why is that?”
She didn’t want to tell him everything, but he did have a right to know. “This wasn’t the first time I’ve manipulated you. I have been as awful as Abigail.”
He looked over at her sharply. “What are you talking about?” he asked slowly.
She licked her lips and then pressed them together. “I flirted with you to convince you to let me stay in the house. I made love with you to get you to stay in England. I read almost all of my mother’s journal. She did terrible things just to get her way. I’m no better than she was.”
Will rose from his seat and stalked her. With each step closer, she could feel the anger emanating from him.
“You made love with me only to get me to stay here?”
She looked away from him and nodded. “I wanted you to stay so I could continue to look for the journal.”
“And that was the only reason you let me touch you?”
She should tell him the truth but it didn’t matter at this point. She was a terrible person, and he deserved so much more than her.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Get out of this house,” he said in a menacing tone. “I don’t want to see you here again.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes and nodded. “I will send for my things.”
“Do that.” He strode from the room and slammed the door behind him.
She dropped into the chair and wept for all that she had lost. Everything she ever wanted had just stormed out of the room, leaving her behind. She had nothing now…except her heartache.
Slowly, she stood and wiped away her tears. She had to leave now before she went up to his room and begged him to let her stay with him. To tell him that she loved him. And th
at the other times they had made love were what counted, not the first time. But she couldn’t do such a thing. He did not want her any longer, and she couldn’t blame him.
She was a terrible person who had used her wiles for her own gain. Just like her mother.
Walking down the hall, she gathered her courage and asked for a carriage to be brought around. Then she waited. She could hear the boys upstairs and wanted to say good-bye, but she didn’t think Will would want her to do it. She wondered if Ellie and Lucy were upstairs, too. They might not have returned from their morning calls yet.
“The carriage is ready, miss.”
“Thank you.”
She walked out to the carriage just as Ellie and Lucy arrived home.
“Elizabeth, where are you going at this time of day?” Ellie asked. “It will be dinner soon.”
She couldn’t tell them. They would never understand. “I am dining with my friend Sophie tonight.”
She barely got the words out of her mouth before her eyes filled with tears again.
“What is wrong?” Lucy demanded. She always reminded Elizabeth so much of Will.
“I’m sorry. I must go.” Elizabeth climbed into the carriage and then glanced back at the young women. Both looked shocked by her abrupt departure. As the carriage rolled away, Elizabeth stared back through watery eyes at the house that had been her home forever.
“What have you done to her?” Ellie demanded as soon as Will entered the salon.
After spending the rest of the afternoon in his room, his anger had only grown. “I did nothing to her.”
“She left here in tears. Susan told me Elizabeth took a valise and that she wanted the rest of her things packed and sent to Miss Reynard’s home.” Ellie crossed her arms over her chest. “That does not sound like nothing.”
“Elizabeth is gone?” squeaked Sarah. “Where did she go? When is she coming back? She promised to read me a story tonight.”
Seeing Sarah’s face crumble, he said, “I’m sorry, Sarah. I am certain Ellie will read to you tonight.”
Sarah ran from the room in tears.
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