Canal Days Calamity

by Jamie M. Blair

  I thought back to my own reading. Good gravy! She’d been right. She told me someone needed rescuing in a barn. I’d assumed she knew the story of how I had to go haul Roy out of the horse stable at the race track. But Good Luck Chuck was who needed rescuing from a barn!

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Brenda said.

  “No. Not a ghost. A fortune teller.”

  “She has that effect on a few people.”

  “I didn’t believe her, but she was right.”

  Brenda straightened a book on her table. “Well, I don’t buy into that nonsense and chalk it up to coincidence.”

  “Coincidence,” I repeated, mindlessly. “How long is she staying?”

  “Why, do you want another reading?” she teased.

  “No, I’ve had my fill. Just curious.”

  “She leaves tomorrow afternoon. I’ll miss her. We hardly get to see each other anymore with our busy lives. Hers more than mine. I can always be found here between these dusty stacks of books.”

  “Don’t try and make me jealous,” I said. “That sounds like heaven to me.”

  “That reminds me.” She rummaged around in a box under the table and brought forth a mystery novel. “I put this aside for you to read. I think you’ll like it.”

  “Festival Day Fatality,” I read.

  “It’s a great who-done-it. I’ve read it three times.”

  “Alright, thanks.” I wasn’t sure I was up for any more death just now, but maybe I’d pick it up in a few weeks.

  The woman with Amelia got up and left the fortune telling table, fanning herself and looking like she knew more than she ever wanted to know. “Hello, Cameron,” Amelia said. “Care to sit down?”

  “Hi, Amelia. I was just on my way back to my table. Can’t leave Johnna alone too long.”

  “No, I suppose not if you want to have anything left when you get back.”

  I smiled, unsure if what she knew about Johnna was from gossip or her supposed psychic ability.

  “You found whoever was in need of rescue?” she asked.

  “Yes. A dog, actually, and Johnna took him in.”

  “Oh, the companion I saw coming into her life. I’m very happy for them both. Should I say congratulations to your sister yet?”

  “I don’t think so. They just met not long ago. He lives in Ireland. She’s not sure how it’ll work when he goes back.”

  She gave me a mysterious grin. “When the time comes, tell her congratulations from me, will you?”

  I nodded. Who did this lady think she was anyway? “I better get back. Nice seeing you both. Have a safe trip home, Amelia.”

  I waved as I walked away, eager to shake off the feeling of having someone seeing you from the inside out. Whether Amelia had some kind of special power or not, she was unnerving.

  Nice, but unnerving.

  ∞

  It was late afternoon, and the patrons had thinned a bit. Mia and Steph came running up to the Action Agency table. Mia had Liam tucked under her arm, and all I could see was his little white head. “Have you seen my dad?” she asked.

  “No. Why? Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” she said, breathless, “everything’s fine.”

  “What are you doing with Liam? Don’t you have to go back to work soon?”

  “Uh, yeah. I, um, I …”

  “We have to get going,” Steph said, dragging Mia into Dog Diggity by the arm.

  “Those girls are up to something,” Johnna said, not bothering to look up from her knitting.

  “Umm hmm,” Roy agreed, cocking his eyebrow at me.

  “Well, whatever it is, I don’t want to know about it.” I set out the last few jars from the box under the table. We had one more box for the next day. If it turned out to be like today’s sales, we’d be sitting pretty—literally, at new desks.

  I heard a familiar deep bark from inside Dog Diggity. “That sounded just like Gus.”

  “How ’bout that,” Roy said.

  Johnna didn’t say anything, which was very un-Johnna like. Something was up.

  Soapy jogged up to the table. “I need you to come with me,” he said.

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing happened. I just need you for a minute.”

  “We’ll watch the table, Cameron Cripps-Hayman,” Roy said, “you run along.”

  I didn’t think it was possible to be more suspicious. “Okay.” I stepped around the table and went with Soapy.

  “Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad.”

  “What is it?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “This sounds sketchy to me.”

  He laughed. “Trust me, you’ll enjoy it.”

  We stopped at the Soapy Savant, where Theresa was waiting in a lawn chair with two empty chairs beside her. “Take a seat,” she said. “Have some more cider.”

  “What’s going on? Why are you sitting here on the side of the road?”

  “Just sit down, Cam, and stop asking questions.”

  So I sat. Soapy and Theresa chatted. I watched people continue to walk to vendors tables and then Anna was on a microphone. “Can I have your attention ladies and gentlemen? Please direct your eyes toward the gristmill for a Halloween treat.”

  Music began to play. Upbeat band music. I realized it was a real band. The high school’s marching band. And then there they were, marching down the street in full uniform. It was a parade!

  “Who organized this?” I asked Soapy.

  “It was a coordinated effort, but Mia led the charge.”

  “Mia? Really?” Again, pride swelled in my chest. I’d grounded her from the pageant that Irene ended up canceling, and she’d gone out of her way to plan this and kept it a secret from me. The whole reason she was grounded to begin with was because she wanted to make me and Ben proud, wanted to be like Anna and Logan and help me figure out who killed Butch Landow.

  Sometimes—most of the time—I didn’t give her enough credit. She wanted what everyone wanted: to be noticed, appreciated, and loved. And she was. All of those things. But Ben and I needed to show it more. She was growing up and needed more than to be told how pretty she was.

  We cheered as the band passed, blasting horns and beating drums. Behind them came the best part of all. The dog parade! Mia was out front walking Liam, who was dressed in a faux black leather biker jacket with a bandana around his head. A tattoo of a heart with MOM written inside was chalked in black on his tiny bottom. Mia had changed into cut off shorts and an old Harley Davidson t-shirt that Ben had owned forever. Her hair was tied back with a bandana that matched Liam’s.

  “Look at them!” I said, laughing my head off, waving.

  Next came Johnna and Chuck, who had a white knitted unicorn horn stuck to his head with elastic that went under his chin. Johnna had knitted him a brown saddle that tied around his middle and sat on his back. To top it all, Johnna was dressed like a fairy princess. My eyes couldn’t behold so much pink glitter.

  “Oh my,” Soapy said next to me. “That’s quite the costume.”

  “Johnna, you sparkle!” Theresa shouted.

  Johnna waved her wand in our direction.

  “Chuck for the win!” I heard Elaina shout from farther down the parade route.

  Behind Johnna and Chuck, Quinn walked Conan, who was dressed like a prisoner in a striped jumpsuit. Quinn wore a police cap and tipped it in our direction as he walked by.

  “Haul him away!” Soapy shouted.

  More neighbors and people from town who I didn’t know but recognized, strutted by with their dogs in matching costumes. There was Batman walking Superman, Darth Vader walking Princess Leia, and a litter of puppy ghosts being pulled in a wagon by a pre-teen vampire.

  I never wanted it to end.

  But it turned out that
the end was the best part. Along came Ben with our pack of mutts. The twins, Mario and Luigi, wore the spaghetti and meatball costumes Mom had made. Mario kept jumping at Luigi and biting his meatballs. Gus and Brutus were skeletons, with white felt bone cut-outs strapped around their furry black legs and bodies with elastic. And Isobel was a wicked witch, which was a perfect costume for her personality. She growled and nipped at Gus and Brutus’s tails.

  Ben was dressed like a zombie.

  “Its like the book!” I yelled to him.

  He pointed to me, laughing. “You got it!”

  In the book and the movie, the zombie main character had one mission: to capture the dog that he couldn’t seem to capture. We figured it was some sort of metaphor for him trying to chase down everything he missed in life before he turned into a zombie. But Ben the Zombie had a whole pack of dogs, just like he had a whole pack of successes in life. His job, his friends and family, Mia, and me. If he were to ever turn into a zombie, he’d have no regrets.

  Neither would I.

  • Twenty-Two •

  Once Ben passed by with our brood, the parade was over. “That was amazing,” I said. I couldn’t stop smiling. I had to be glowing.

  “There’s one more thing to come,” Soapy said, holding out his hand to me.

  I took it and he led me across the street to where Anna was standing with a wireless microphone. She handed it to Soapy, and he lifted it to speak. “And now, as Mayor of Metamora, it’s my honor to crown the Canal Days Hero. This honor goes to the person who went above and beyond to put on a fantastic event for our town. I’m pleased to present to you, Cameron Cripps-Hayman.”

  I stood, stunned looking out at the applauding crowd. Anna handed me a scarecrow wearing a sash that said Canal Days Hero.

  “You thought of this, didn’t you?” I asked her.

  She nodded. “How did you know?”

  In answer, I hugged her. How could I not know? It was a gender-neutral award that was based on merit. It was what she believed in, and I couldn’t be happier with the new recognition that someone would be awarded each year. “It’s wonderful,” I told her.

  Soapy handed me the microphone. “Thank you,” I said. “This is such a surprise. The parade, the costumes, this.” I held out my scarecrow. “But I can’t take the credit for something that so many people had a big part of planning. The Metamora Action Agency,” I said, waving them forward, “and my daughter, Mia,” I said, dropping the step from in front of daughter and hoping she wouldn’t be offended. “And Soapy, of course.”

  They all took their acknowledgment in stride and hurried back to the sidelines to escape the spotlight. Thankfully for Johnna, because she was blinding in her sparkles, and Logan was sopping wet.

  “And I want to say thanks to my Mom and my sister for being there for me during the tough days, and to my … my Ben, for everything, always.”

  I handed the mic back to Soapy and escaped with my scarecrow.

  “Did you love it?” Mia asked, rushing up to me.

  “More than I’ve ever loved anything in my life,” I said, kissing the top of Liam’s head. “This was the best surprise I’ve ever gotten, Mia. Thank you. I’ll never forget it.” I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “You’re a sweet, loving girl.”

  I’d never seen her smile bigger. “I’m off work,” she said. “I just said I was on break to keep this a secret.”

  “I guess that’s okay. One small twist of the truth to not ruin a special surprise.”

  Ben was attempting to make his way to us, but Mario and Luigi kept chasing each other’s meatballs around his legs, making Isobel snarl, which made Brutus bark. Gus was trying to pull away to beg pets from strangers.

  “We better save him,” I said.

  Mia took Isobel, and I took the twins, leaving Ben with Brutus and Gus. “Zombie eat dogs for breakfast,” Ben said, groaning and shuffling his feet. “Taste like chicken.”

  “Gross!” Mia squealed.

  He laughed and gave her ponytail a playful tug. “We’re supposed to all meet back at Dog Diggity,” he said.

  I yanked Mario away from Luigi as we set off. “Monica has to be elated with how well today went.”

  “She definitely seemed happy,” he said. “Cass couldn’t keep the shelves stocked. Monica was lucky to have her help in there today.”

  “I”m so glad she could help out, too, since we thought of selling honey at the last minute and I couldn’t.”

  “I heard about the church.”

  I shrugged. “I never liked working in that smelly basement anyway. We’ll find somewhere better.”

  “Ben!” Irene called from the Daughters of Metamora booth. “You were wonderful!”

  “Thanks, Mom,” he said.

  “You, too, Cameron,” she said, like she had a mouth full of lemons.

  “Thank you, Irene,” I said back, as sweet as pie.

  Ben laughed and shook his head. “Someday the two of you will get along.”

  “No, we won’t.”

  “No, you won’t,” he agreed, laughing even harder.

  We got to Dog Diggity and the closed sign was in the window. The sun was setting, so I guessed it was around seven in the evening. Monica must’ve been out of stock.

  The three of us clambered inside with our dogs. Mom was there with Carl, and Andy and Cass. Quinn was behind the counter with Monica, helping her close up shop for the day.

  “So?” I said, resting my elbows on the sales counter. “How was your first day in business?”

  Frazzled, Monica beamed with joy. “I couldn’t have wished for any better,” she said. “But there is something.” Her eyes turned to Quinn.

  He took her hand and they walked out from behind the counter. “We have an announcement,” he said.

  My heart seized. What was this?

  “As you all know, my home is in Ireland. I came here to help train Brutus. I had no plans on meeting someone and beginning a relationship. But here we are,” he said, putting an arm around Monica. “I have an opportunity to start a new business, and Monica has agreed to help me with it. We’ll help each other.”

  “In Ireland?” Mom asked, putting a hand to her chest.

  “No, Mom,” Monica said. “He’s staying here.”

  “I bought Bantum Kennel, and I’m turning it into a dog training facility. So I’ll be right beyont,” he said waving a hand in the general direction of Connersville.

  “Oh, how wonderful,” Mom clasped her hands together. “We were so worried about Monica losing you.”

  “Mom,” Monica said, a warning tone in her voice.

  “Welcome to the neighborhood,” I said, clapping Quinn on the back. “Or close enough. Do I get a multi-dog discount?”

  He chuckled. “We’ll think on it.”

  Ben shook his hand. I could tell he was glad Quinn was staying, they’d become good friends.

  My twin Italian stallions barked up a storm and chased each other around the store. “I better get these guys out of here before they tear the place apart.”

  Ben, Mia, and I said goodbye to everyone and went on our way. The sun was down and only a pink haze remained in the sky. “Red sky at night, sailors delight,” I said.

  “Good,” Ben said, “I’ve had enough rain to last a lifetime.”

  As we neared the bridge over the canal, Spook darted out from nowhere, hissing at the dogs and racing across. The twins went ballistic and took off after the cat. I tried to hold them back, but they’re like little bulls packed with the muscles of Hulk. Gus and Brutus were right behind, doing their best to get away from Ben. He yelled, “Brutus, heel!” but with his old partner in crime, Gus, at his side, Brutus wasn’t as dignified as he was in Conan’s presence. The commands went out the window.

  Spook jumped off the bridge onto the bank and skittered up a tree. My dogs dash
ed around the end of the bridge, pulling me into the edge of the railing, and hightailed it down the bank in search of their prey. “He’s up in the tree, you ding-dongs!” I shouted.

  That’s when Metamora Mike showed up, splashing down in the canal. It was quite the attention-getting landing. The twins didn’t know what to do. Cat or duck? Cat or duck? In the end, they decided both. One went one way, the other went the other, and I was stuck in the middle of their tug-of-war.

  The bank wasn’t yet dried out from the flood. My foot slipped, and I fought to keep my balance. But down I went, right into the water.

  Oh, good gravy. What a way to end Canal Days.

  ∞

  The sun was shining brightly, drying the grass and warming the air. My bees were busy buzzing in their hive. Old Dan said to sing to them. Well, singing wasn’t going to happen, but I did have another musical talent, if I did say so myself.

  I sat in a lawn chair beside the bee box in the front yard and opened my clarinet case. Certainly, if bees liked music they weren’t so picky as to the type. “I know ‘Hot Cross Buns’ and most of ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’,” I told them as I assembled my instrument. “Don’t sting me if my reed squeaks, I’m new at this.”

  After opening my music book and laying it by my feet, I sat on the edge of my chair and lifted the clarinet to my lips. Taking a deep breath, I placed my fingers in the B position and then blew into the horn. An ear-splitting squeal was the only noise I managed to make. A rumble of outraged buzzing emitted from the hive, and the dogs howled and barked in the backyard.

  “Okay, okay,” I said to myself and the bees, “calm down. That was just a practice note. I blew too hard. Let’s try again.”

  More slowly this time, I eased air past the reed. A note rang out clear as a bell. “I did it!”

  Soon, I was honking right through the beginning. Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns!

  The phone began to ring inside the house. “I’ll be right back,” I told my winged audience, and hustled up the porch steps and through the door. “Hello?” I said, answering the cordless phone.

  “Stop that infernal racket!” Fiona cried. “I’ll continue to give you lessons, but you can’t play in public until I say you’re ready. We can hear you over the train!”