by Being
“Do you feel that, Sasha? You make me so fucking hard.” His lips were still barely touching hers as he spoke, but it was the way he said those words and pressed his hips into her palm that had her feeling like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. He moved his lips along her cheek, over her jawline, and down to the pulse that beat erratically below her ear. “Just thinking about you makes my cock harder than any other time before. All I’ve thought about, for years, Sasha, is being buried inside of you.” She let her head fall back against the house and closed her eyes as he ran his tongue and teeth along the side of her throat.
“You’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying, Tanner.” She meant to sound more sure, more determined to stop this, but her words were all breathy, and the complete opposite of what she had been going for.
He ignored her statement and continued to lick and nip at her skin until Sasha couldn’t think clearly. This needed to stop, because if she let it go any further she would give herself to him pressed against the side of his house.
Finally he responded to her. “Yeah, I am pretty drunk.” Her heart plummeted at his words. “But I’m not that drunk that I don’t know I have my best friend’s little sister against my house with her hand on my cock.” He emphasized his words by grinding himself against her hand. “You could’ve told me to get the fuck back, could still tell me that, but you know what, Sasha?” His mouth was back on hers, and his tongue was moving against hers. He let go of her hand, but to her utter surprise she kept it right where he left it—on his shaft, and a part of her knew that he had known that would have been the outcome. He slipped his hand up her bare thigh, under her dress, and covered her pussy. A gasp left her as the pads of his fingers skimmed along her skin. “I bet your pussy is wet from me, isn’t it?” He didn’t wait for her to answer before he was speaking again. “Yeah, I bet you’re fucking soaked, Sasha.”
Her name came out as a groan, and the image of him above her, thrusting in and out of her body, slammed into her head.
She was wet for him, but how could she actually form the words and tell him that? This whole situation was exciting, arousing, but frightening as well.
“I—”
He rubbed her through her panties, and there was no doubt he felt how saturated her panties were. His fingers moved back and forth over her silk-covered cleft, and a harsh moan left her at how good it felt.
“You don’t have to say anything, baby.” He claimed her mouth again until her knees were weak and he was the one holding her up with his hand on her hip. “The only thing you have to tell me is that you want my fingers touching your bare pussy.” A gasp left her when he applied a minimal amount of pressure right over her clit.
“God, yes.” She couldn’t take the words back, not now that they tumbled from her mouth involuntarily.
“No, baby,” he whispered against her mouth. “Tell me what you want me to do. I want to hear you say it.” He continued to rub her clit, adding a little more pressure, and she grew impossibly wetter. She should feel like a slut letting him touch her like this, out in the open where anyone and everyone could see if they just rounded the corner, but the part of her that had wanted him for so long couldn’t and wouldn’t say the words to put a halt to all of this.
“I don’t want you to stop, Tanner.”
He grunted against her and pressed against her clit harder.
“I want this. I want you.” She curled her fingers into his broad shoulders and held on. “God,” she breathed out, “I want to feel all of you.”
“Do you realize how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those words, Sasha?” His words were low, deep, and held a hint of longing that matched her own. “So. Fucking. Long.” He gripped the edge of her panties and pushed them aside. When his fingers touched the bare folds of her pussy a moan slipped from her. “Fuck, you are so fucking juicy, baby.” First he slipped one finger inside of her, just to the first knuckle, and moved the digit around. When he added a second one her mouth parted in wonder at the stretching, pleasurable feel of him inside of her. With two thick digits wedged in her pussy she couldn’t think clearly. There had been so many times she imagined this happening, although they didn’t involve the sound of vulgar rap music in the background or drunk people just on the other side of the house. It was either vivid images of Tanner or Jonas touching her, and a few times she had thought about both of them caressing her at the same time. He worked his fingers in and out of her, pushing in a bit deeper each time, and causing more wetness to seep from her body and cover his hand. She was so damn ready for him she couldn’t stand it any longer.
“You’re so tight and hot, so primed for me, baby.”
Could he tell she was a virgin? He didn’t mention anything about it, so Sasha kept her mouth shut, not wanting to say something that might ruin this moment. She was finally letting go, allowing herself the freedom to experience what she wanted, and not worry about the backlash. And yes, there would be repercussions, because she couldn’t imagine what Rian would say or do if he ever found out what Tanner was doing to her, or what she wanted him to do to her.
“It feels so good, Tanner.” He claimed her mouth and swallowed the moan that spilled from her. He moved his thumb up her cleft and to her clit. Moving the nub back and forth, he rubbed her until she stiffened. Her orgasm was right at the surface, and it wouldn’t take much more to set her off.
“Don’t stop talking now.” He kissed her lightly on the lips. “I like hearing how good it feels.” He rubbed her faster and pumped into her harder until she bit her lip and groaned out her orgasm. “Fuck. Yeah.” He didn’t stop touching her until she begged him to slow down, that she was too sensitive and couldn’t take anymore. “You want more, Sasha, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Surprisingly Sasha nodded. She was sated from her climax, yet hearing Tanner’s rough timbered voice had her body heating for him all over again. “I want you, baby.”
He pulled back and stared into her eyes. Pulling his fingers form her still clenching pussy he brought the two digits up so she could see how they glistened from her wetness. As if everything happened in slow motion, her eyes widened when he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked her cream completely off. A rough sound left him.
“Dammit, you taste so fucking good.” He dropped his hand. “I bet if I put my mouth on your cunt right now, and sucked that tight little clit of yours, you’d come all over my face, wouldn’t you?” Her chest rose and fell in harsh intervals as his vulgar words filled her.
The shadows were thick and surrounded them, concealing him partially, but allowing her to see the fire behind his eyes. When she didn’t say no he attacked her mouth in a bruising kiss. He tasted so good that Sasha found herself grabbing his hair and trying to get as close as possible. The sound of him pulling her panties to the point they ripped and fell to her feet had her heart jackhammering in her chest. Then he pulled away, reached for a condom, and quickly tore it open. Clearly he wasn’t as drunk as she initially thought if he was coherent enough to put on a condom.
Was she really about to do this? God, she hoped so, because this was the single most thrilling experience of her life. He gripped her behind both knees, and with a strength she was all too familiar with, lifted her so she was forced to wrap her legs around his waist and hold on to the back of his neck for support. He kissed her again, slipped his tongue in, and fucked her mouth like he was about to fuck her pussy. The hot, impressively hard length of him pressed against her pussy, and they both made unintelligible sounds of pleasure. His hands were like vise-grips on her hips, keeping her grounded, but also holding her in place for what he was about to do. He lifted her up and angled her hips out slightly so the tip of his cock pressed against her opening, and then he pushed in so fast and hard tears blurred her vision. There was no hesitation on his part, not with the way every hard, thick and long inch of him slammed into her body.
And that was it. Her virginity taken in less than a second by Tanner Ashbury, one of the two men she was i
n love with.
His big body stilled when he bottomed out inside of her, and Sasha held in the sounds of discomfort. Ever so slowly he pulled his head back and looked down at her. “You were…?” He didn’t finish his sentence, and she didn’t need to say that, yes, she had been a virgin.
He swore softly, and the world came crashing back. Humiliation slammed into her, because all he did was stand there, not moving, not speaking, just watching her with confusion in his face. Before she could push him away and the tears started to fall, he claimed her mouth and started moving. All other thought was lost on her at the feel of his dick stretching her unused muscles.
“I didn’t know.” He seemed to be talking to himself. His thrusts were slow and steady at first, but gradually picked up speed until Sasha was also lifting her hips and grinding herself on him. The root of his shaft rubbed her clit, bringing her closer to another orgasm quickly. “I would have done this a completely different way if I had known, Sasha.” His breathing was hard and frantic against her neck. “I just wanted you so damn bad, baby.” He never stopped pumping his hips, but she couldn’t respond because in the next second she came hard and long. He thrust into her three more times before burying himself completely inside of her and groaning out his orgasm in the crook of her neck. “Fuck, yes. Oh Christ.”
For several moments neither of them did anything but try to catch their breath. The seriousness and reality of what they had just done slammed into her instantly. The high from her orgasm dissipated, and she wondered what he would say once his high also left. When he pulled out of her and helped her to stand, the air shifted. He tucked himself back in his pants, and she pushed her dress down, suddenly feeling extremely exposed. She spied her panties in tatters beside her feet and quickly picked them up and balled them in her fist. When she stood and looked up at him she could tell he was different.
Did he already regret what they had done? Licking her suddenly dry lips, she watched as he averted his eyes, and a wave of disappointment slammed into her.
“Tanner?” His name came softly from her, and she wondered if he had heard her, but then he stiffened and she knew he had.
“Shit, Sasha.” He still had yet to look at her. Running his hand through his hair and further messing the strands, she felt tears start to form in her eyes. Had he actually been far drunker than she initially thought that he now realized the gravity of what they had done?
You stupid fool. You knew damn well he was drunk when he came up to you. You have no one to blame for this but yourself.
“Listen.”
The tears flowed down her cheeks and she lifted her hand to wipe them away, but he saw them regardless.
“Dammit, Sasha.” He pulled her into his arms, and she stared over his shoulder at the streetlamp. It was dull and looked used, exactly how she felt. “Please don’t cry.” Tanner sounded concerned, but his actions spoke differently. The smooth feel of his hand moving up and down her back did nothing to make her feel better, and almost felt like he was forcing himself to comfort her. Everything just felt stiff, and not in a good way. “I am so fucking sorry.” He leaned back, took her face in his hands, and looked in her eyes. “Shit, baby. I’m drunk and didn’t know what I was doing.”
She tensed, but he continued before she could make a retort.
“I should have stopped, but you smelled so good, and felt so good.” He inhaled deeply, and she closed her eyes, wishing that she could wake up from this nightmare. It was getting worse by the minute. “You are so much better than me, than this. I’m so fucking sorry, Sasha.” The only thing worse than losing her virginity to one of the guys she loved and him regretting it, was hearing him try to console her and tell her she was better than he was.
Too fucking late for all that.
Sasha pushed away from him and didn’t hide the hurt and anger she felt. She hoped he could see it, feel it. It churned inside of her, and she knew that it would be there for the rest of her life, just rotting and festering until it consumed her fully. Telling him she had been in love with him since she was twelve years old was on the tip of her tongue, but really, what good would it do? He had made himself perfectly clear. Instead, Sasha drew up her courage from deep within her body and wiped the last of her tears away.
“Don’t you fucking apologize to me, Tanner.” His eyes widened at her rare use of profanity. The spurt of vicious anger grew inside of her until it threatened to consume her whole. “Besides I was bound to lose it to someone at some time. You just happened to be here at the right time.” The lie stung and felt like acid leaving her mouth, but she could not show him how vulnerable she felt. He flinched, and for a moment she wanted to think he truly did care for her like she did him. The pain she felt was indescribable, and took up every single empty space inside of her. She should have been smart enough and stopped it before it had gone as far as it did. But it was too damn late for that now. Another emotion flickered across his face, and for a moment she thought it might have been hurt, but just as quickly as it had come it disappeared and a stoic expression took its place. The way he stood, and how the light from the streetlamp washed his face in a muted glow of yellow showed her his clenched jaw and the hard look in his eyes.
“If you say so, Sasha.” His words were hard and clipped, and his anger was clear. Well she was fucking angry, too.
And if things couldn’t have gotten worse and even more uncomfortable, she heard her brother calling her name. Tanner stiffened and looked over her head, but she knew no one could see them.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.” Yeah, because that was a shit-storm waiting to happen, and there was no way she would be the cause of that. For a second it looked like Tanner was going to say something, but Rian rounded the corner and stopped when he saw them. For several seconds no one said anything, and Sasha just knew they could hear the erratic pounding of her heart.
“Hey. What’s going on?” Rian took another step closer. His eyes bounced from her to Tanner then back to her.
“Nothing. We were just talking away from all the drunks. I was thanking him for helping throw this graduation party for me.” Sasha was surprised she had been able to spew that lie out so quickly, and even made it sound believable. She gave one last look at Tanner, who she was surprised to see staring at her, before making her way toward Rian. Her brother seemed content with her response and gave her a hug. He might have seen her as a pain in the ass all through their childhood and that first year of high school, but their relationship had matured, and now they were closer than ever.
“Well, come on. Everyone has been looking for you.” He gave a chin nod to Tanner and said, “You coming, man?”
Sasha looked over at the guy she had just lost her virginity to. That thought caused her cheeks to heat, and she was thankful for the shadows that hid her. She saw the indecision on his face. Would he tell Rian what they had just done? If he was suicidal he might, but that would humiliate her as well, and she hoped he cared about her enough to keep his mouth shut. She said as much silently as she stared at him, and after what seemed like forever he exhaled.
“Yeah.” They all made their way inside, but it was like she wasn’t really in her body. All she kept thinking about was the feel of Tanner inside of her. Hell, she had the ache between her thighs and the wetness of her arousal and lost innocence to prove it hadn’t been a dream. She glanced over at him and saw Jonas and Tanner speaking to each other. Tanner’s mouth moved quickly, and a strange look crossed Jonas’s face. As if they sensed her watching them they snapped their heads toward her, and their identical hazel eyes held hers. Jonas shook his head and said something to Tanner while still holding her gaze. When Tanner responded his brother snapped his gaze to Tanner and scowled. Jonas looked angry as he slashed his hand between him and Tanner then stalked off. Tanner ran his hand over his jaw, looked at her one last time, and went after his brother.
Yeah, if the ground could open up and swallow her whole right now everything would be right in the world.
Present Day
After four years of undergraduate studies, Sasha was finally done and could say she had her Bachelor’s degree. The feeling of accomplishment filled her, but it was the fact she had gotten a job back in her home town of Hayven Hill that made her grateful for favors from above. If her mother hadn’t told her about the opening Sasha would still be job hunting. Getting the position that Mrs. White had as the resident Social Worker should have made her extremely pleased, and she was, but the fact the spot opened up because the seventy-five year old woman—who had refused to retire—had suddenly passed away, dampened her excitement. She passed the sign that informed her she was entering Hayven Hill, and excitement washed through her, but nervousness was on the heels of her happiness as it usually was. It had been six months since she had been home. With her work load, studies, and finding a job before graduation, she had been too busy and stressed to visit her parents. A new development was being constructed, and she passed the site, seeing the tanned, muscular men hauling lumber, bent over blueprints, and standing beside the large sign that announced Marsh Construction was doing the work.
She focused on the road again. The coffee shop she had used to go to with Dani sat in the same spot and looked exactly the same. The salon, supermarket, and post office looked the same as well. She didn’t know what to expect, maybe upgrades in the past six months, or that they had moved, but everything was just the way it had been.
She pulled into her parents’ driveway and saw Rian’s truck. She pulled up beside it and grabbed her purse. The side of his truck read “Marsh Construction”, and a smile pulled at her lips. The fact Rian owned his own construction company, Hayven Hill’s renowned construction company, had pride for her older brother filling her. Before she got to the front door it was opened, and her mother came barreling out.
