The mellow autumn of Nathan’s return to Swallowbrook was past, winter would soon be upon them and where she’d always looked forward to crisp mornings and snow on the fells, this time it was going to be an ordeal to be got through.
A waitress was at her elbow, asking if she was ready to order, and bringing herself back from the gloom of her thoughts Libby consulted the menu.
When she had gone Nathan asked, as if nothing between them had changed, ‘Are you staying here for the rest of the day or checking out, like Toby and I?’
‘I intend leaving immediately after breakfast,’ she told him. ‘There are things I have to do when I get back—household chores, paperwork from the surgery to look through, and other matters to attend to.’ She made an attempt at a smile. ‘I take it that everyone enjoyed the party?’
‘Yes, it appeared so, except for the two of us. Maybe you will let me make it up to you at some time in the future? I owe you that.’
‘You don’t owe me anything,’ she said in a low voice that was not for Toby’s ears. ‘I suggest we forget last night.’
‘Just like that?’ he said evenly. ‘It would seem that you have a very low pain threshold.’
‘All hurts lessen in time,’ she replied, and as the waitress returned with the food that she’d ordered the stressful conversation dwindled into silence.
Nathan got to his feet and said, ‘Come along, Toby, say goodbye to Libby.’ He looked at her. ‘We’ll return your emergency “comforter” when it has been washed and ironed. Thanks again for the loan of it.’
She put down her knife and fork and observing him gravely commented, ‘I was only too happy to be of use with regard to that,’ and to Toby who was looking around him, unaware of the undercurrents between them, she said, ‘I’ll see you soon, Toby. Do I get a kiss?’
‘Mmm,’ he said, and pursing his lips placed them against her cheek.
As the two of them went out into the car park Nathan thought wryly that it was nice to know that one of them was in favour.
If ever the day dawned when Libby was ready to wipe the slate clean he would feel that at last the wheel had turned its full circle for them. At the present time it was just something that only happened in his dreams.
When she went to Reception to settle her account for the suite that she had occupied briefly she was told that it had been paid by Dr Nathan Gallagher.
He was heaping coals of fire on her head, she thought miserably, with the memory of his cool comment that he would return her nightdress when it had been washed, and now she was discovering that Nathan had paid for the luxurious accommodation that she’d had little time to take note of the night before.
The receptionist had noticed that she’d been taken aback, and volunteered the information that the account had been settled the week previously when Dr Gallagher had paid in full for everything that the hotel had arranged to provide, and as she went out to have a last stroll beside the lake she thought wretchedly that she’d been wrong about the ‘coals of fire’ and should be ashamed. He had treated her as he would any friend or acquaintance. The fact that the night before had escalated into something totally mind-blowing had been down to her as much as him.
As she walked beside the still waters the house on the island that could only be reached by boat came into view. She’d heard recently that it had become a tourist attraction and was available to rent for those who craved solitude in one of the most beautiful settings for miles around.
The next time she had the chance to take a break from the practice she would stay there if it was available, she decided. Where no one or nothing could take away the confidence in herself that had disappeared completely the night before when Nathan had begun to make love to her and the longing that she’d thought was under control had become a bright flame of desire.
During the week after the party Libby and Nathan spoke only briefly about surgery matters and in the evenings stayed well apart, until the night when Toby turned up on her doorstep with the nightdress neatly wrapped and with a note attached to say, ‘Thanks again for the loan, Libby. I’m sending it with Toby as I have a strong feeling that my presence would not be welcome. Sorry I can’t make myself scarce during surgery hours, Nathan.’
When she’d read it she looked across, knowing that he would be somewhere near, that he would not let Toby out into the wintry dusk even for a second without being nearby. Sure enough, he was standing in the doorway of the cottage next door where he could see him.
‘Can I come in, Libby?’ the young messenger asked once he’d delivered the package.
‘Yes, if it is all right with your uncle,’ she said immediately, and called across to ask if he could stay and play for a while.
Nathan nodded. ‘Yes, for half an hour and then it will be his bedtime.’
Exactly thirty minutes later she took him back and when he opened the door to them Toby said, ‘We’ve had lots of fun playing hide and seek.’
‘Really,’ was Nathan’s only comment as his young charge skipped past him. Giving in to the urge to get him talking on a more friendly level, she asked, ‘What have you got planned for Toby at Christmas?’
‘Nothing at the moment,’ was the answer. ‘Why, have you got any ideas?’
‘Er, no, but I could give it some thought. It will be his first Christmas in Swallowbrook and yours after a long gap, so it should be something special.’
‘Not necessarily for me,’ he said dryly, ‘but for Toby, yes, absolutely. We’ll probably go to stay with Dad for the two days. What are you planning to do?’
She knew he didn’t care a jot about what she would be doing, that he was merely asking out of politeness. Any frail rapport they’d had was gone, blown away as if the cold winds from the fells were already in their winter mode.
‘I haven’t made any plans as yet,’ she told him, ‘though I will be somewhere around. This place is too lovely to be away from at Christmastime, or have you forgotten?’
‘I forget nothing,’ he said levelly. ‘Neither the good or the bad,’ and she wondered what that was supposed to mean. Maybe it was a hint that the conversation had gone on long enough with her standing on the doorstep like someone trying to sell him something, unwelcome and unwanted.
‘I’ve got things to do so will say goodnight,’ she said abruptly, and he didn’t protest.
The October half-term at the village school was approaching and Libby was curious to know what arrangements Nathan was going to make regarding it.
Hugo was going to be away that week. He was taking his sister and her children away for a short break, so Nathan wouldn’t be asking for time off as the two of them would be needed at the surgery.
She wasn’t expecting him to discuss his plans with her as they only ever spoke about surgery matters, apart from the one occasion when she had asked him what he was planning for Christmas and received an evasive answer.
So she was surprised when one morning as they waited for the surgery to start he said, ‘I can’t make up my mind about the half-term break. Whether I should enrol Toby for the play group they have at the school during holidays for children with working parents, or take Dad up on his offer to have him while I’m here. What would you do if you were me, Libby?’
‘I’m not sure,’ she told him, concealing her surprise at being asked. ‘I imagine that your father would love to have him, but he was looking forward to a complete rest after all the years as senior partner here. On the other hand, he might be finding that he has more time on his hands than he wants now, and from Toby’s point of view there is the attraction of the river and the fishing.
‘But the play group is well organised and well attended and Toby would be with some of his school friends. Why don’t you ask him which he would like the best?’
‘I know what he’ll say to that,’ he replied whimsi
cally. ‘It will be Grandfather Gallagher and the river. Maybe it won’t be too taxing for Dad if you can manage on your own for the first hour in the morning and the last couple of hours at night. Can you, Libby?’
‘Yes,’ she told him steadily. ‘I’ll fit in with whatever is best for Toby. Just let me know when you’ve decided. I’m having a week off myself early next month but Hugo will be back by then and half-term will be over.’
‘Are you going away? Or staying local?’ he questioned.
‘Local, but not too local,’ she told him, ‘just far enough away to have some time to myself.’
‘And you are not going to tell me where?’
‘No,’ she said equably, and went to start her day at the Swallowbrook practice with a vision of a house on an island that she had arranged to rent for the week.
The morning was progressing like most other mornings at that time of year, a few coughs and sniffles, mixed with patients who were there because they had more serious anxieties to consult their doctors about, and once again there was the gathering of the willing and the unwilling who had come to have their flu jabs.
One of the patients was a young pregnant woman whose baby was almost due. She’d come to the surgery because of severe indigestion and when her name was called she got slowly to her feet.
Libby was standing in the doorway of her consulting room, waiting to usher her inside, when suddenly she let out a scream of pain and clutched herself around the waist.
‘I think it’s the baby,’ she gasped. ‘I thought the pains I’ve been having every so often were indigestion as I’m not due until next week, but this is different.’
‘A week too soon is nothing when it is a first baby,’ Libby told her, and taking her by the arm drew her quickly inside.
Nathan was saying goodbye to one of his patients at the other end of the corridor that separated their consulting rooms and took in the situation immediately. As she was helping the distressed woman on to the bed nearby he appeared and stood by as she checked to see if it was the baby on its way.
‘I can see the head already,’ she said quickly. ‘See for yourself, Nathan.’
He didn’t need to be asked twice and when he’d done so asked with low-voiced urgency, ‘Have you ever done a delivery before?’
She shook her head. ‘I know the procedure but have never had to put it into practice.’
‘I have,’ he said reassuringly. ‘I’ve done dozens of them where I’ve been for the last three years. In those kind of places one has to be jack of all trades.’ He turned to the anxious woman on the bed. ‘It’s going to be all right. What is your name?’
‘Jodie,’ she informed him between cries of pain.
‘So try to keep as calm as you can, Jodie,’ he said soothingly. ‘There isn’t going to be time to get you to hospital before the birth, but I’m used to delivering babies, so not to worry.’
‘I need to push!’ she cried.
‘Yes, I know you do,’ he told her, ‘but if you can wait for just a few seconds until I tell you to, everything is going to be fine. In just a few moments you’ll be holding your baby, so can you do that for me?’
‘I’ll try,’ she gasped, and with Libby beside him holding a clean towel that she’d taken from a cupboard by the bed he said, ‘Now you can push.’
With a huge heave she did so and seconds later a perfectly formed baby girl was wrapped in the towel and placed into her arms. As the tiny one expanded her lungs with a lusty cry a cheer broke the silence that had settled on the waiting room and the two doctors exchanged smiles.
In the euphoria of the birth Libby was forgetting everything except how the two of them, Nathan and herself, had shared such a special moment. Turning to him, she held him close for a few seconds before he dealt with the removal of the placenta.
‘I can see that we are going to have to do this more often if this is what I get,’ he said softly as she let her arms fall away. ‘If this is how it feels to see someone else’s child come into the world, can you imagine what it must be like with one of your own?’
‘No, I’m afraid I can’t,’ she told him flatly as he brought her back down to earth. ‘I stopped wishing for the moon a long time ago.’
‘Point taken,’ he replied in a similar tone, and turned back to the ecstatic new mother.
‘Could someone phone my husband to tell him that he has a daughter?’ Jodie asked in awed wonder. ‘He’s the trauma technician based at the fire station in the town centre.’
The ambulance that had been sent for had arrived and Libby said, ‘Yes, of course, and we’ll tell him that the two of you are on your way to the maternity unit at the hospital.
‘Have you chosen a name for the baby?’ she asked as mother and child were being transferred to the ambulance a few minutes later.
‘Yes,’ was the reply. ‘When we knew that the baby would be born in October, we chose Octavia for a girl and Octavius for a boy.’
‘Very impressive,’ Nathan commented briefly when Libby told him the baby’s name. He had already gone back to his patients, and she hurried back to hers who had waited with much good humour for the morning surgery to return to normal.
After the moment of euphoria when she’d hugged him to her Libby’s upbeat feeling about them continued to dwindle as the day progressed because she kept remembering what he’d said about having children of one’s own.
At one time she’d dreamt of having a boy like him, dark-haired, dark-eyed, incredibly handsome, and a girl with blonde hair and the kind of ready smile that she used to have, which now appeared as infrequently as the sun in winter.
But long ago he’d dashed those hopes as casually as if discussing the weather, and Ian’s lax approach to marriage had stopped any yearnings in that direction, so if the day ever dawned when she held a child of her own in her arms, it would be the age of miracles.
The arrangements for Toby at half-term turned out as Nathan had expected. John and the river had the vote, with his young visitor even sleeping at the lodge in a small bedroom that the older man had fitted out for him.
It meant that Nathan was able to put in a full day at the practice while the two doctors were holding the fort during Hugo’s absence. It also gave him some free time for himself, which he hadn’t had much of since taking Toby into his life.
As they left the surgery one evening to go to their respective cottages he said to Libby, ‘I don’t feel like cooking, so am going to get changed and dine at the hotel where we had Dad’s farewell. Do you feel like joining me?’
She hesitated. The thought of a delightful meal in equally delightful surroundings was tempting, but keeping up a front of casual detachment in the place where they had been so drawn to each other wasn’t. Yet even as the thought was going through her mind she found herself saying, ‘Yes, why not? I don’t feel like cooking either. I feel tired and drab, so like you I will go and change into something less formal.’
‘The blue dress maybe,’ he suggested casually. ‘It looked good on you that day at the school harvest.’
‘Yes. I suppose it would be suitable,’ she told him, concealing her surprise at discovering that he’d remembered what she was wearing on that occasion. But this was Nathan who not so long ago had been quick to point out that there was nothing wrong with his memory, as if hers might be at fault!
‘How long before you want to go?’ she asked, getting back to basics.
‘Half an hour?’
‘Yes, I’m starving, and, Nathan, I want it to be my shout. I remember finding that my account had been paid when I went to settle it the last time I was there.’
‘So? You were my guest.’
She was frowning. ‘Even so…’
He sighed. ‘Do you recall me saying that I would like to make it up to you for taking up your
evening with Toby’s problems? So please don’t argue, Libby.’
‘All right,’ she agreed at last. Maybe what had happened between them had been an aberration. A moment of madness that had come out of the blue. Tonight it would be just a matter of two busy doctors unwinding over a pleasant meal. There could be no harm in that.
They were separating at the bottom of their respective drives and as she went upstairs to shower and change, out of the wardrobe came the blue dress.
When she went out to join him wearing it he nodded his approval and for the first time in ages she felt beautiful.
The evening progressed just how she wanted it to be, friendly and tranquil, with no disturbing vibes to make her feel threatened or on edge as she listened to Nathan describing the traumas and the good times of his time in Africa.
‘Was it so demanding that you never had the chance to come back home for a break?’ she asked at one point.
There was a pause in what had been a relaxed conversation as his mind went back once again to those soul-destroying moments when he’d stood in the church porch and had to accept that he’d had a wasted journey. He’d been an arrogant fool not to act sooner, to assume that despite their parting words Libby would have continued to have romantic feelings for him and would have waited till he’d come to his senses where she was concerned.
But, no, instead he’d acted on impulse and selfish desire. But he’d got his just deserts. He’d arrived too late to stop the wedding, and as he’d watched her smile up at her new husband had thought that there had been no point in his coming as Libby seemed happy enough with Jefferson.
If he was to tell her that he had been home during that time, just the once, what good would it do? She’d loved him once, but not any more, and tonight they were at peace with each other as friends, so why spoil it?
‘Yes,’ he replied, avoiding her glance. ‘The pressures were always too great to be able to take time off.’
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