Myka interrupted with a combination laugh and grimace. “She’s not that bad. And anyway, what does that have to do with Gabriel, and me trying BDSM with him?”
“Don’t jump into the deep end like you usually do.”
“I do not usually jump into the deep end. What are you even talking about?”
“Look, you’re a type A personality,” Lourdes said in a soothing voice, squeezing Myka’s hand. “You get stuff done. You do incredible, creative things and I know you’ll end up building some kind of consulting empire. If anyone seizes the day, it’s you.”
“So that’s good, right?” Myka was already slightly defensive, knowing that a but was about to turn the corner and hit her head on.
“But sometimes you’re too intense. You keep going and pushing even when the way is hard. Sometimes taking two steps back to reassess is the right way, because from the distance, you can see a better path.” Lourdes paused. “And sometimes? It’s okay to stop and smell the proverbial roses now and then. Like I keep telling you. And you keep not doing.”
“But that’s what this is about,” Myka protested. “Right? This is me, taking the time for some personal enjoyment. I am going to stop and smell the flowers.” Her mind shot back to Gabriel’s club, where the smell of gardenias, roses, and sex floated in the air, and she felt a surge of moisture between her thighs.
“Yes.” Lourdes sounded unconvinced. “So I know you like this guy, but he’s the one you kept saying was out of your league. Don’t jump into this too fast to prove anything. You’re in a league of your own. He’s lucky to have you, kinky sex or not. You can do things your way. Or make a new way. Okay?”
Myka bit her lip. “I—will… have to think about that.” She felt a mix of gratitude and irritation at this outpouring of concern. Being told how you were viewed by a close friend was unwelcome, like having your skin peeled back and looking at yourself in the mirror, and she wasn’t sure she liked this particular picture.
And yet it was seeing her friend afresh, with new eyes, seeing Lourdes without her skin; this was Lourdes baring her soul. Myka needed to accept the disclosure gently, because this kind of conversation left both partners raw.
“I will be careful,” she assured Lourdes. “I’ll take it slow. And I’ll consider the other things.” She tried not to frown, knowing that it had cost Lourdes to say this; Lourdes’ left eye twitched, something that happened when her friend was anxious.
Lourdes released Myka’s hand. “Okay. I hope so. So be safe and go slow and, I guess, have… fun?” She gave Myka a tentative grin. “And do you need me to be your safety call? All this talk of whips and chains is making me nervous.” Lourdes examined her plate and picked up a slice of red onion with her fingers. “I’m giving up on the fork for now,” she announced.
“I trust him. But it’s still a good idea. Thanks.” Myka giggled, relieved that they were resealing themselves back into their usually recognizable faces and interactions. “I’ll call you if I ever need a bolt cutter.”
“I’d suggest that we get dessert,” said Lourdes, “but maybe we both need to work on our hand-mouth coordination. But I bet you’ll be working on some hand/mouth coordination later on this week, am I right?”
This time, her smile held genuine humor, and Myka rolled her eyes and laughed, but felt a burst of anticipation, because… would she? And what else might she be doing?
* * *
Later, Myka picked up the card from Dax and asked him to meet her for a quick drink. He’d be the perfect person to answer questions she had about the kinky lifestyle.
To her surprise, she found Dax seated at an outdoor table with the blonde from Club Dark Sin and a handsome bald man in leather and purple. Colorful mixed drinks decorated the table, each garnished with umbrellas and neon cartoon-bomb cherries.
“Hi!” exclaimed the blonde. “I’m Lili, remember me from the club? I felt so awful about what happened.” She poured water from a pitcher and passed Myka a glass with a lemon, her deft welcoming gesture at odds with her words.
“Uh, yes. Hi. I do remember. I’m Myka.” Myka sat down, picked up the water and sipped, trying to compose herself. She remembered Lili’s bouncing breasts, the silver inserts, Marcus, her fear and anger.
“This is my boyfriend, Todd,” announced Dax. “Toddy, Myka. And what juicy story am I missing, my lovelies? I had no idea you two knew each other?” His gaze darted from Lili to Myka.
Myka cleared her throat. “Well, Dax, I did visit Dark Sin, and I got some unwelcome interest from a pushy asshole who called himself Master Marcus. He grabbed my arm and tried to force me to—do stuff—with him.” She shuddered. “Luckily Lili came running before the dungeon monitor bothered to show up. But I was freaked out, I’ll be honest.” Myka looked at Lili. “How can you enjoy it if people like Marcus are there, too? Being such douchebags?”
Lili twisted her silver ring. “I was so sorry. I wanted to tell you more, but you left so quickly, and I don’t blame you! Most people are nice. Marcus has been getting worse. He keeps asking people to play, even when they say no. And he’s all touchy feely. And with you—that was way out of line. I’m going to the manager again to make a complaint when he gets back into town.”
Dax’s eyes were wide. “God, I’m so sorry, girlfriend. I feel responsible because I told you to try it. Toddy and I love it there, usually. I hate Marcus. He’s full of himself and he asks too many times without respecting a no. I never saw him get aggressive, though. Are you okay?” He leaned over to touch her arm.
Myka shrugged her shoulders. “Well, sure, I’m fine. But I was terrified. It was surreal.” A waiter walked by with a tray of wings, and the tangy waft of powerful hot sauce made her eyes water for a second.
Lili smiled. “What about that handsome man who swooped in to help? Gabriel—Chevalier, right? You’re so lucky.”
Dax nearly knocked over his drink with an exuberant gesture. “Gabriel saved you? I was so excited when you picked him up at the bar. I didn’t even get to give you a secret you go, girl wink. You left your book behind.” He tugged it out of a sleek black satchel and handed it over to Myka. “Here you go, cupcake.”
Myka turned to Lili, then Dax, taking the book, which was greasy with fingerprints on the slick cover. “You guys know Gabriel?”
Lili smiled. “I met him once at a party. I haven’t been to his private club. There’s a whole application process and interview. It’s supposed to be totally awesome. Is it?” Her voice trailed off on a wistful note.
Myka blushed. “It was interesting. Beautiful. Intense.”
“So, are you his new sub?”
“Lili! No. We’re just… sort of… dating.”
“But are you fucking him?” Dax said, wiggling his eyebrows, and everyone laughed.
“Well, I don’t whip and tell,” Myka crooned in her sultriest voice, tapping the book cover with her finger. She liked having new friends, but this was too personal to share.
“We’re sorry,” said Lili, not sounding the least bit apologetic. “I mean, we’re the kind of people who put it all out there. I was asking because from what I know of him, he doesn’t date.” She put quotation marks in the air with her fingers. “He either has a sub, or he doesn’t. If you’re vanilla, and you’re dating him, that’s kind of interesting. Especially because his ex was so—” She broke off. “But you probably don’t want to hear about his ex.”
“No, I do. Tell me.” Myka was curious.
“Oh, my God, Rachel, right?” Dax broke in, leaning forward, his eyes wide and eager. “I’m not even bi, and I was into her! She used to play at Dark Sin before she got exclusive with Gabriel. We used to call her Bionic Butt because she could take pretty much anything and recover faster than anyone I’d ever seen. Her other nickname was Super Sub. Of course a man like Gabriel would end up with her, he probably always gets the best of everyth—” He broke off as Lili cleared her throat.
Lili frowned. “Dax! Myka is just as awesome… as Rachel.” She tur
ned to Myka. “It doesn’t matter, anyway, right? She’s old news.”
Dax hurried to add, “Oh, God, girlfriend, you know you’re the true sexpot of anyone’s dreams.” He gave her a thumbs up sign and a huge grin, and Myka smiled, charmed, even as she rolled her eyes.
“Well, we’ll see what happens,” she said, trying to shake away images of a perfect sub. “Don’t assume I’m totally vanilla. Who are you currently fucking, Lili?” It seemed to be a perfectly appropriate question.
Lili giggled and touched her earring. “Good question! Sadly, nobody special. I play with a few guys at the club, but they’re not relationship material. The new owner of Dark Sin, Taylor, I only met him once? He’s totally hot, and smart, and so interesting. But he’d never be into someone like me, though, so I guess that isn’t really…” She bit her lip and looked down, and Myka was surprised at this momentary lapse of confidence.
“Well, I’m fucking him,” said Todd, pointing at Dax, and everyone laughed.
Myka felt euphoric. These people were definitely more out there than her usual group, but they were friendly. After Christopher’s crap attitude and Kylee’s mix of limpet and brush-off, it was fun to blurt out what was on her mind without needing to censor, doublethink, or worry so much about offending the other person. She leaned in. “So, can I ask you a few questions about kink in the real world?”
* * *
It was another long day before Gabriel called, and his deep voice on the phone sent shivers through her body. “So you’ve had time to think it over. Are you still interested in coming to my place tonight?” he asked.
“Possibly,” said Myka, acting cool. “I’m available after eight p.m., and I’m not available after eight p.m. When you come get me, I’ll decide.” She teased him with the ‘two options’ conversation they’d had a few weeks earlier, wanting to make him suffer a little agony, too.
When Gabriel arrived, Myka answered his knock without a word and slid out of the room, closing the door behind her. She offered him her hand. They were alone in the ornate hallway and Gabriel suddenly pulled her close until her body was pressed to his hard length. “I want to feel you right now,” he told her roughly.
And then his lips were on hers, his tongue in her mouth, searching and teasing. Myka moaned and grabbed his hair in her fists, tugging him closer, and he responded by gripping her hips and moving them more closely to his. He kissed her neck, then bit it hard, making her cry out, and claimed her mouth again, running one hand up to cup her breast.
Myka stroked the strong muscles beneath his shirt, then touched his waist and his ass, hard through his clothes. Dizzy with arousal, she ran her hands back up and down his body, trying to touch all of him at least once, amazed that this man was in her arms, kissing her, passionate for her. Finally they broke the embrace, both breathing hard, eyes locked. Myka’s lips were swollen and she wanted more of him; she wanted all of him. Now.
“Take me home,” she urged him in a low voice. “I want everything you have to offer me. Stop making me wait, damn it. I need you.” The words surprised her but were completely true. She was tired of the dance and she wanted to get past it, to the intimacy, to all of the things he promised and threatened.
Gabriel’s mouth pulled up into a smile. “Don’t be too hasty, Myka,” he scolded. “You have no idea what you just signed up for.” But the glimmer in his eyes showed that his want was as powerful as hers. “So you want to try things my way?” he murmured, pulling her back in to his body, touching her breast, finding the nipple through her blouse and squeezing. “You want my dominance, my control? After our talks, after seeing my club, you want it from me?”
“Ow!” squeaked Myka, pulling back, but he shook his head, still smiling. “No. Stay still.” Despite the smile, his eyes were firm. Myka opened her mouth in a silent ‘oh,’ wide-eyed.
“My way involves obedience,” he continued, playing with the nipple in his fingers as she stood before him, trembling, but not moving. He squeezed again, hard enough to make it sting and to make her gasp in surprise, and this time she didn’t pull back.
“Very nice,” he said. He moved his hand under her shirt, finding the breast in her bra, and reaching under the fabric to tease her naked skin. He ran his nails over her skin, making her squirm, then kissed her hard, and Myka wasn’t able to refrain from jerking in his arms and moaning into his mouth. He smiled into the kiss, then reached his other hand back and gave her a quick, hard slap on the ass.
“Ow!” yelped Myka, reaching back to rub her butt, but he intercepted her hand.
“My way?” he asked. “Yes or no?”
A beat went by before Myka whispered, “Your way.”
“Then you leave your hands where I put them, yes? Say yes if you understand.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Sir.”
Myka gulped. “You said that women at your club don’t have to say sir.”
“No, at the club you won’t call another man sir. But you will call me sir when you are mine. Is that clear?” His voice was not hard, but it was firm.
“Yes… sir.” Myka forced the words out, making her face redden, not sure she liked this.
“Because when you say sir to me, do you know what it does?” He bent down and looked into her eyes, his fingers trailing a soft path up her arm.
“What does it do?”
“Hearing sir on your lips makes me want to strip you down and take you right here on this carpet, until you scream your pleasure so loudly that everyone knows that you are getting the fuck of your life. Hearing sir makes me so hard that it’s painful. Hearing sir lets me know that you want to submit to me, that I own you, but it also means that you own me, too. That’s why you’ll say it.”
Myka’s heart raced. “Yes, sir.” Now she liked it again; more than liked it.
He pulled her back in for another hard kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth while mimicking the motion with his fingers through her skirt and panties, right over her clit, until her breathing got rough and she rocked into him, beseeching with her body.
“Myka, you don’t get to come,” he warned. “You’re going to wait until I say you can. If you don’t obey me, I will punish you.” Myka’s eyes widened, and he laughed. “I think you get as turned on by that idea as I do when I hear you say sir,” he mused.
“I don’t know if I want you to punish me!” Myka interjected. “Sir.”
“Oh, but I think you do want me to, very much,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re just worried that I’ll go too hard, give you too much pain, yes? Look at me.” Myka looked into his eyes. “You can trust me,” he told her. “It will hurt, yes, but no more than you can take.”
“But you—you’re used to women who can handle a lot of hard stuff. Right?” Myka remembered the conversation about his ex, Rachel, The Bionic Butt Super Sub.
“Don’t worry about whether someone else needs or wants it harder. The only thing that matters is your body, and what works for you.” He whispered into her ear, “Il y a une ligne très fine entre la douleur et le plaisir. Laisse-moi te montrer. There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. Let me show you.”
Myka breathed out. “So what are you going to do to me?”
Gabriel’s eyes burned into hers. “Are you ready to find out?”
Wordless, she nodded. He put his arm around her and led her out of the hotel to his car. Something Baroque flowed out of the stereo, staccato yet melodious; Myka thought it was Bach but didn’t ask. There was silence for several minutes, then he said, “Shall we use this time to negotiate?”
“What exactly are we negotiating?” Myka shot a look at him.
Gabriel smiled, then turned back to the road. “At the club the other night you mentioned the things you wanted. Let me know your limits now.”
Myka swallowed hard. “Well, nothing too painful, I guess. I don’t ever want to pretend to be an animal. I hate feet. You’re not my daddy. The thing is—how am I supposed to know all of
my limits, when I’ve never done this?” She thought a minute. “And what if I want you to stop something?”
“Over time you will figure out limits. And if you want me to stop, I will, at any time. You say red,” he told her, looking over. “If you say red, I’ll stop everything immediately and make sure you’re okay. If you want me to slow down, you can say yellow. If you like what I’m doing and want me to keep going, you can say green. I’m going to make you say stop, but you won’t mean it. That’s why I like to use red.”
Myka’s stomach filled with sex and butterflies. I’m going to make you say stop, but you won’t mean it.
She nodded, but remembered how red had not worked with Marcus. “What if I forget red, and I freak out and scream stop? Will you keep going unless you hear red specifically? Or, say, what if I’m confused and I accidentally say green when I mean red? What if I forget English entirely?” She didn’t exactly think this could happen, but you never knew, right? People in her novels sometimes got carried away.
Gabriel reached over and put his hand on top of hers. “Myka. If you scream and pull away from me, I’m going to stop and check on you no matter what you say, even if it’s green. I’ll watch for your tone and body language. When we are together, you are my responsibility, and I don’t take that lightly.”
Myka breathed out a shaky sigh of relief. “Okay.”
Gabriel continued. “I want you screaming my name, yes, but with passion. Tu vas dire mon nom encore et encore. I want you to like what we do so damn much that you beg for it, again and again.”
She smiled at him, her face burning, her whole body thrumming. He knew want to say to calm her nerves and make her want it again, more badly than before.
He shot her a look. “It’s a rough game, but I’m an expert player. Trust me.”
Myka fought with herself for control, and glanced at him through lowered lids. “Well, then, my plan is to make you lose yourself too. I want you so crazy for me that you call my name out as you come the hardest you ever have.”
Myka and the Millionaire Page 9
