Sobbing openly, Sami peered inside the ambulance. Rachel moved out of the way. Israa raised her head from her pillow. A soft smile fluttered to her lips.
“Sami.” His name was a whisper of joy.
“Ya Allah,” he cried in disbelief. “Ya Allah, ya Rub, ya rasul.”
He climbed into the ambulance and gathered Israa up.
Khattak left them with Rachel. Nate was calling his name.
At the door of the shed, he was holding Audrey in his arms.
Khattak’s steps faltered. Not from the moment he’d landed in Athens had he hoped for such a conclusion. His thoughts full of wonder, he found his way to his friends. Audrey threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly on the lips.
“You found me,” she said, whispering the words into his neck.
Esa hugged her close. “It was Nate,” he told Audrey over the lump in his throat. “Nate would never let you go.”
But in his heart he was saying, All glory belongs to God.
Mytilene, Lesvos
In the early morning, a series of interviews were conducted jointly by Amélie Roux and Philip Nicolaides, who’d suffered a concussion but was otherwise unhurt. Esa and Rachel were not asked to participate; Sehr had insisted on being present for Audrey’s debriefing.
At the end of it, Audrey was released to Nate’s care and given permission to leave the island. She would be required to testify in the case against the trafficking ring, and this she promised to do with a fervor that spoke of the agony of her ordeal. During that period, she’d been expecting Benemerito to kill her. Roux hadn’t been as shocked to find Audrey and Israa alive. Girls were the most valuable of all commodities to traffickers, fetching high prices and generating revenue well into the future. In Audrey’s case, there was the additional possibility of ransom. Esa tried not to think of what could have happened if their luck had broken differently. There were missing who were never recovered.
He was at the hospital with Rachel and Sami, waiting for an update on Israa’s general health. Roux had told them up front that though Israa was suffering from malnutrition, she hadn’t been abused. She was worth more to the traffickers untouched. Roux had promised to tell them more at a meeting later in the evening.
As Rachel kept Aya occupied with a game, Esa brought Sami up to date.
Mournfully, Sami said, “Illario was my friend. He took me to Turkey to search for Israa. He solved the problems related to my papers.”
Esa sighed. This was easily the worst part of what he had to share.
“He was separating you from Aya, waiting for an opportunity to snatch her from the camp. He wasn’t going to the beaches to help pull in the boats. He was marking out unaccompanied children, looking for those who wouldn’t be missed. When he took you back to Turkey, he was making contact with the smugglers on the other side. And he was keeping an eye on your discoveries, seeing how far you’d get.”
“I know I should believe you,” Sami said. He knuckled his eyes like a child. “I thought I’d seen the worst of what we do to each other in Syria, but this is just as ugly. What would have happened to Israa?”
Esa put his arm around Sami’s shoulders. He wouldn’t darken the boy’s thoughts with the sordid truths he’d learned.
“She would have disappeared. We don’t know anything beyond that.”
“Why was she still on Lesvos? Why didn’t they sell her, if that’s what they had planned?”
There was no scenario Sami hadn’t envisioned for himself.
“Because of you, Sami. You notified Audrey the second Israa went missing, and once Audrey was involved, there was a spotlight on the operation. Interpol, Europol, the Greek police—look at what you started. Benemerito had to lie low until the traffickers could get Israa to the continent. She made the crossing from Izmir, she just didn’t reach safety.”
Sami avoided his eyes. “They had her for weeks. Did they—?”
“No,” Esa said at once. “Israa wasn’t harmed. She’s going to be all right. And all of that is thanks to you. You were brave. More than that, you were unshakable in your faith.”
Sami swallowed noisily, leaning into Esa’s shoulder, perhaps thinking of his brothers. Esa let him cry. When he’d composed himself, Sami asked, “What will happen to us now? We’re in the same position, except worse. The borders to Europe are closed. We’ll have to return to Turkey.”
Esa smiled. “You don’t know Audrey if that’s what you think will happen. You and Israa will be asked to testify against Benemerito. In exchange, Audrey will ensure that all three of you are granted asylum.”
Sami shot him a startled glance. “In Germany?”
“No,” Khattak said. “Where your sister is, Sami, in Canada. I think I understand why Dania said she didn’t know you.”
Sami’s eyelids lowered, as if he was debating what to say. In a toneless voice, he answered, “She doesn’t trust the authorities. She sold everything to secure Ahmed’s release from Sednaya. He was nearly dead when they gave him back to her. When the Mukhabarat returned, Dania and Ahmed had already escaped. She had good reason to think they were hunting members of our family. If she admitted who I was, she thought she’d be passing a death sentence on me or on my brothers. She doesn’t know I’m the only one left.”
Khattak had seen soul-wrenching ugliness over the course of his work. There was no scale by which to measure the depths of Sami’s loss.
Damascus, the city of jasmine. Damascus, the city of ruin.
More to himself than Sami, he whispered, “Israa is safe. So is your sister.”
They let a little time pass in silence. Then Sami asked, “So this wasn’t about the papers we smuggled out for CIJA? No one at Camp Apaydin was involved?”
Khattak shook his head, his dark hair falling across his brow. A pretty nurse with a startlingly voluptuous figure passed them in the hall. She turned and looked back at Khattak to give him a sexy wink. Sami laughed. It was the first time Khattak had heard the boy laugh.
“That must happen to you all the time,” he said.
Esa’s smile was mischievous. “It would be insufferable of me to agree.”
He considered the question about CIJA, thinking of how Amélie Roux had held the upper hand. “This wasn’t about CIJA, no. But for however long it takes to process your application for status in Canada, you’re not going near the Turkish border. You have one job now, and that’s to take care of Israa.”
Aya gave him a happy wave from the end of the hall. He waved back at her.
“And Aya,” he amended. He rose to his feet, looking at a boy whose suffering and loss he couldn’t quantify. He wanted to find the right words, words of fellowship, of brotherhood, of sojourners on a common journey—he couldn’t. No matter how he strove for empathy, this was a chasm he couldn’t cross—a suffering he couldn’t claim. So he said, “Don’t look back. There’s nothing left for you in Syria.”
It was advice he couldn’t have followed. A homeland was a place of the heart, a place of memory and belonging. To lose it, to leave, to watch it dissolve into agony, to be coerced into exile—it was a severing of self.
But wasn’t he dissembling to say this to the boy? All these years, what had he been doing, except looking back? Looking away from the woman at his side, the woman who’d loved him all this time.
He nodded at Rachel, letting her know it was time to return to their hotel.
He needed to tell Sehr the truth, plainly and boldly.
He’d been hiding from himself.
42
Mytilene, Lesvos
It was Nate and Audrey’s last night on Lesvos. Rachel and Khattak were staying a few extra days to assist Amélie Roux. They were waiting for Roux now. Esa walked over to the hotel desk to make their arrangements. Rachel sat with Nate in front of the fire, absently tracking Khattak’s conversation. Audrey was resting in her room.
Nate studied the bruising on Rachel’s throat.
“I should have gone with you, I could have stop
ped Benemerito, but I was convinced that I would be the one to find Audrey.”
Something in his voice, in his way of holding himself apart, told Rachel the conversation wouldn’t turn out the way she hoped. Though Audrey was safe, something had altered between them, and it wasn’t because of something she’d done.
“Would you be willing to wait, Rachel?”
The elevator pinged. Audrey stepped out, looking fragile. Nate’s demeanor changed—focused, bright, alert. Rachel felt like an obstacle to be dealt with, conscious of a dullness inside.
She was a fool. She’d put herself in this position, believing in something that would always be out of reach. She forced herself to face the truth: she’d wanted to try with Nate, she’d thought she’d found a way to ease her loneliness. To have someone see all the things she was. And not be able to endure without her.
His eyes on his sister, Nate said, “We’ll be caught up in this for months. The Greek police, CIJA, figuring out what to do about our NGO—Audrey can’t handle that alone. She’s at risk until she testifies. So I hope you’ll give me some time.”
Rachel couldn’t fault him for what he’d said. She tried to ignore the warning that she was opening herself up to pain. Testing the waters, she said, “I could help you, Nate. I’d be willing to take that on.”
She registered his impatience, knew he’d missed the significance of her words.
“You know how it is with family, Rachel. We’re used to relying on ourselves.”
Rachel conceded the point. Where it mattered most, he couldn’t see her as a part of his life. But how could she protest, given how she’d dealt with Zachary?
Lost in her painful thoughts, she let her gaze stray over to Khattak. He’d slept for eight hours straight, and now he seemed recovered.
Nate noticed her abstraction. Alarmed, he said, “Rachel, I’m only asking for a little time. Please don’t write me off.”
But she could see what it would be like. She was trying to alter course, to assert the worth of her presence. To deny her importance to someone else wasn’t a pattern she intended to repeat. All her life, she’d accepted her mother’s devotion to Zachary, the way she’d pushed Rachel aside. She knew what Nate was asking of her, she wouldn’t do it again. She couldn’t live on the margins of his life. She’d have time to think it through once she was back in Toronto. Right now, she needed to escape.
Watching her face, Nate sighed. “It’s Esa, isn’t it? He’s the one you want. I can’t say I blame you.”
She heard the bitterness beneath the words—the echo of an estrangement that had nothing to do with her. She could see why he’d misunderstood. Her relationship with Khattak was complex, they hadn’t unraveled its complexities themselves; she doubted others would understand what bound them.
But she hadn’t fallen prey to Khattak’s attraction, as she’d worried. In his dark shirt, with his tasbih wrapped over his wrist, he looked handsomer than ever. Rachel had ceased to notice. She’d come to understand the nature of her feelings. She was close to Khattak because of the way he’d treated her when she’d sought refuge from her boss’s harassment. Khattak had delivered her from MacInerney by putting her on his team.
She hadn’t known then that he’d asked for her, chosen her … valued her.
He’d treated her with kindness and continual respect. So she’d struggled with the idea that maybe his actions added up to love.
The part of herself that she hid from the world—the girl who’d grown up bullied by Don Getty, whose mother had loved her brother instead of her—that girl knew it did. And only because Esa had been so careful was she able to see that for herself.
She wasn’t in love with Khattak. She didn’t want to be his lover.
What she wanted was what he’d given her: the sense that she belonged, that she was good and brave and valuable. That she mattered to someone like him.
Tears blurred Rachel’s vision. There was no way on God green’s earth she could say any of this to Nate. He wanted her to wait, but they’d never be at this place again, reaching for each other, trying to soldier through.
“Esa is a good person.” She used his name without constraint, wiping a hand across her eyes. “I haven’t had much of that, you know? That’s really all it is.”
To Rachel that was everything.
* * *
Amélie Roux joined them in the garden. Only Khattak and Sehr abstained from taking a glass of ouzo as they gathered together around an outdoor brazier that lent a shimmering warmth to the night. Audrey was at the center of the group, triangular shadows under her eyes and in the hollows of her temples. She gave them the briefest summary of her ordeal, though Khattak guessed that she and Ruksh would speak of it for days and weeks to come.
He asked the question on everyone’s minds. “What happened that night in the tent?”
Audrey shrank down in her chair. Nate took her hand and held it. When she’d gained a measure of calm, Audrey began to speak.
“I’d spoken to the girl in the camp—the girl Benny tried to grab, the one who got away. From her description, I thought it was Benny, but I’d begun to suspect him long before. There was something about his reaction when I mentioned the counterfeit life vests. All I did was pass on a tip, but he seemed to suspect me of more. He was watching me. And then I began to wonder why a commander of the Italian Coast Guard was on the Greek islands so often. At the beach would have made sense, but why was he in the camps?” She took a moment to collect her thoughts, guilt shadowing her voice. “I told Inspecteur Roux I was close to confirming the identity of the ringleaders of the gang, but I needed to be sure. She sent Agent Bertin to Lesvos to help me. Aude wanted to meet Sami but he was waiting for a boat, just in case Israa was on it. He sent Ali with me instead. Benny must have gotten wind of Aude Bertin’s arrival.” Tears filled her eyes. “He followed us, he must have eavesdropped on us. When he threatened Agent Bertin, I pulled out my gun.” She shook her head sorrowfully. “I couldn’t bring myself to use it. He got the gun away from me. The rest I think you know.”
She confirmed Khattak’s guess that Aude Bertin had tried to protect Ali. And that Audrey had escaped, to be chased and captured at the beach. Since then, she’d been in the storehouse, where she’d also found Israa. Benemerito had delayed moving them until he was out of options. Roux’s appearance on Lesvos had triggered his need to act. He’d been following Khattak, ascertaining his actions. He’d used the attack on Souda to break into the Woman to Woman tent and steal the life vests.
“There are many, many men involved in this operation,” Roux told them. “On the Turkish side, in Greece. And throughout the continent—Germany, France, the UK. If we break Benemerito, we’ll make significant progress in shutting down this ring.”
“He hasn’t confessed?” Khattak asked.
He knew Roux was thinking of Aude Bertin when she promised, “He will.”
When Benemerito had spat at Rachel, rage had swamped Khattak’s thoughts. And knowing Benemerito had struck Sehr—he had some sense of what Amélie was feeling.
Roux summoned the waiter for another glass of ouzo. She took a sip before she turned to Sehr.
“The trouble you experienced, the obstruction on the islands and in Athens.”
Sehr raised her eyebrows and waited.
“Yannis Andreadis, Nikos Papadakis at the Athena, the German medic, Hans. The Golden Dawn ringleaders who raided Souda camp. They’re all members of the ring. We think Benemerito was the one in charge, though we can’t say for sure.”
“What about Captain Nicolaides? Or Peter Conroy? Or Eleni?”
Khattak had wondered about each one.
Roux shook her head. “They have been vetted. They are not involved.”
“And Vincenzo?” Rachel asked Audrey. “What part did he play in all this? Did he get cold feet at the end?”
Wonderingly, Audrey shook her head. “He’s a member of the Coast Guard. Benny acting outside his purview made Vincenzo suspicious. When he confro
nted Benny, Benny threatened his family. Vincenzo came to me because he could see I was figuring it out. He told me we had to catch Benny in the act, or the members of the ring would go to ground. He knew Benny was watching him. He also knew he wouldn’t get another chance. Last night was his moment.”
She didn’t discuss the toll the waiting had taken on her, and Khattak knew better than to ask.
“I want to see Sami,” Audrey said. “I want to see Sami and Israa.”
“I’m here, Audrey,” Sehr promised. “I won’t leave Lesvos without them.”
Esa glanced over at her. He hadn’t known Sehr was planning to stay on Lesvos.
When their party broke up, Esa asked Sehr to remain, conscious of her remoteness. Why she’d withdrawn, he didn’t know. It could have been the things he’d said to her on the hill, or his reference, obliquely, to Samina. Maybe she felt excluded from his thoughts. He couldn’t blame her if she did.
Gently, he said, “I’m sorry about what happened yesterday. How are you feeling now?”
The left side of her face was bruised. Ignoring the question, she asked, “Which part?”
He hesitated, wondering if she was angry at his insistence that she remain behind. She couldn’t know what he’d thought when the car had come so close to clipping her. Or when he’d heard the sounds of her struggle in the shed. He never wanted to feel that kind of terror again.
He could see the car burn. He could see his wife dying inside it. To face that with Sehr—
Unsure of himself now, he said, “I don’t know what you mean.”
She looked away from him, her profile pensive. “Which part are you sorry for, Esa? That I didn’t leave you on your own, or that I got in the way of your attempt to save Rachel?” She shook her head to herself. “I didn’t get in the way, though. You knew what mattered to you.”
It took him a minute to understand. Then he was swamped by a sense of relief that opened his eyes to the truth. She didn’t know what she meant to him because he’d been too cowardly to speak. He rose to his feet, pulling her into his arms. She stood there without moving, without reaching for him in turn, resistance etched into her limbs.
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