“And I’m not safe.” The words echoed through the room, his voice low and measured.
Glancing down, I closed my eyes. “It’s not you. It’s my heart that isn’t safe.”
“Why?”
“Because when you open it up, things can go bad.”
He stood behind me, and I could feel the heat of his body where he gently pressed against me. Like a magnet drawn to metal, my body involuntarily leaned against his chest. His hands touched my arms. His voice became hoarse. “But today things have turned around, right?”
“Yes, Garrick. Today has been wonderful. Completely wonderful. Thank you for everything.” I wanted to believe my luck could change.
His hands moved down to cover mine. The heat seeped in, and I left my hands in his. His touch calmed me. It made my chaotic thoughts more understandable. “Knoah, don’t quit us. I’m as confused as you are.”
He is? About what?
“Garrick… I—”
Gently, he turned me to face him. “Let’s start with dinner. Tonight. Nothing more. If it doesn’t work, I won’t let it affect the job. If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t be involved with the gala.”
Tension I didn’t realize I’d been carrying seeped out of me. “Dinner only?” My cheeks heated. “It’s been a long time since I dated. Like a really long time. I don’t know what’s expected.”
“Nothing is expected of you. Ever. We’ll dine and talk.” That was simple. I wanted to talk to him more—get to know him. “So will you still have dinner with me, Knoah?”
“Yes.”
Chapter Twelve
I wrung my hands as I walked through the mahogany doors of the restaurant. Classical music played through the room. The place was nice. Really nice. Probably one of the more upscale places I’d ever been.
“May I help you?” the woman at the podium politely asked.
What am I doing here? Suddenly, the overwhelming feeling began to overtake me again. Maybe I should go? Is it too soon? I edged backward. I’d call Garrick from the car. “I’m—”
“Knoah.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Garrick’s hand on the small of my back. His other arm shot out to steady me. “Easy there.” He turned his attention to the hostess. “We’re ready to be seated now.”
The woman walked forward. “This way, Mr. Shaw. The requested arrangements have been made.”
The pressure from his hand moved me forward with him, his confidence easing my apprehension. My eyes shot around the room, which was richly decorated with heavy tapestries and low lighting. Tables were placed sporadically throughout the room, creating an intimate atmosphere. At one end of the room, we stepped through French doors out onto a balcony where I could hear the waves crashing against the shore.
“Beautiful,” I murmured, gravitating toward the rail.
The setting sun cast rays of golden orange across the ocean. “Not nearly as beautiful as you look.”
My cheeks heated from the compliment. “Thank you.”
“Would you like something to drink?”
I turned and saw a table set romantically for two. Out here, we were in our own world. “Please.”
Garrick held out my chair for me before taking the seat next to me. My eyes gravitated back to the ocean. “You almost left tonight.”
Of course he noticed. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry.”
“But now you seem calm.”
Introspectively, I took a sip of wine, using the time to gather my thoughts. “I am less nervous.”
“Why?”
Touching the fork handle, I traced the design. “It’ll sound crazy.”
He placed his hand on mine, his eyes imploring. “Try me.”
Something about him brought out the honesty in me. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to be transparent. And I wanted it to be with him. I was taken off guard by how intense my feelings for him had turned. “Umm… seeing you. Feeling your touch.”
“Thank you.”
My eyes shot up. “For what?”
Garrick shifted in his chair. “Making yourself vulnerable to give this a chance. I can’t explain it either, Knoah. I’ve tried.”
The salads were placed in front of us. “Bon appetit.”
As I took my first bite, the flavor of pears and blue cheese was decadent and rich. “This is delicious.”
“I’m glad you like it. This place has a table d’hôte they serve each night.”
I laughed. “I’m sorry. What is that?”
He grinned. “It’s a set menu.”
Idly, I wondered what we’d be served for the next course.
“Knoah with a K. It’s an interesting name. Where did it come from?”
Before I responded, I took a sip of wine. “It’s Hebrew. It means comfort. My parents said I was a blessing that brought them immeasurable comfort. They turned a boy’s name into a girl’s name.”
“That’s beautiful. So, where were you born?”
“Not too far from here in Cocoa Beach. My parents still live in the house where I grew up. I’m an only child. No other relatives that I know of. My parents were only children, and their parents died before I was born. I’m actually pretty boring. All I do is work, eat, and sleep.” I laughed. “I guess that was a little more than what you asked. What about you?”
He sat back, only halfway through his salad, and smiled. “I was born here in Orlando. My parents and siblings are local, as well.”
Our server cleared the salad plates and set steaks decorated with garnishes along with some asparagus before us. I took a bite, and the savory juices exploded in my mouth. “This is delicious.”
“It is.” Garrick expertly cut a piece and took a bite. The reserved businessman I’d come to know over the last few days relaxed, and a more at-ease Garrick replaced him.
This place must have cost a fortune. “Do you come here a lot?”
“For business, mainly. But I’ve never eaten on the balcony before.”
I stopped midbite, surprised. “Really?”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why does that surprise you?”
“Because I figured you brought your dates here.”
He chuckled. “No, Knoah, I don’t. I don’t date, generally.”
A little nervousness trickled up my spine. What is he expecting? What does he do with women, normally? My mouth grew dry. I needed another sip of wine. “Umm… if you don’t date, what do you do?”
“Work. Travel. Work more. Occasionally, I’ve had relationships, but they end quickly.”
I took another sip of wine, mildly relieved. “Why?”
“My work schedule. And they want more than I’m able to give at the time. I’m upfront about my commitments. At first, they’re okay with it… until they’re not.”
The thought of Garrick giving this type of attention to other girls sent a small amount of jealousy through me. Unfounded jealousy, but jealousy nonetheless. Is this the beginning of a relationship? Or is he outlining the parameters for his work schedule? Asking seemed presumptuous, but his past relationships seemed more casual than what I would be able to give. To me, being with someone was too intimate for it to be blasé. I knew my heart, and when I agreed to date again, I would be fully invested.
This is just dinner. We’re getting to know each other. That’s it.
The thoughts swirled inside my head, creating confusion.
“What about you, Knoah?”
The question stopped my thoughts. “I haven’t met anyone I wanted to explore anything with, I guess.” I fidgeted with my knife while Garrick watched me.
“The media interest seems less today.” Another change in topic.
I sighed. “Yes, thank goodness. Kurt sang the song again last night and had a girl walk out onstage with him the way I had. I think it worked.” Garrick nodded, and his eyes tightened ever so slightly. I prattled on. “Kurt was supposed to come back tomorrow, but he’s been delayed. We were supposed to go over my royalty contract for my
portion of ‘Lost.’”
“Your portion?”
“I co-wrote it with Kurt. The record label wanted me to go on tour with him.”
Garrick’s full attention was on me even though I heard his phone vibrating from time to time. “Do you want that?”
“No, not at all. I honestly don’t even want the money for the song, but Kurt insists. So I’m getting fifty percent of the royalties.”
Garrick looked at me as though he was cataloging everything I said. “Since Kurt is unable to make it, would you like me to review the contract for you?”
Garrick was a successful businessman and probably reviewed contracts on a daily basis. It would be beneficial to have someone outside of the music industry look at it. “I would appreciate that. I’ll send it when I get home.”
We spent the next few hours talking about anything and everything, from books to movies to our favorite childhood memories. Garrick had a larger family than me—two sisters and a brother. And surprisingly, we agreed on a lot—like mystery books and movies. Garrick’s favorite memory had been watching baseball with his dad. He took a sip of his wine when it was my turn to answer the next question.
We were on to favorite memories and had moved to a couch set off to the side of the table. I had my knees folded underneath me. Garrick’s leg touched mine ever so slightly, sending the desire to my core. I wanted to feel more of him.
“I love Christmas time. Dad makes homemade cinnamon pancakes while Mom and I sit on the counter singing Christmas carols.” I smiled, thinking about those wonderful mornings. “What about you?”
He refilled my wine glass and leaned back on the couch with his arms draped over the back of it. “One morning I got up before everyone. Mom was at the Christmas tree sipping coffee. I sat in her lap while she hummed Christmas carols.”
“How old were you?”
“Four.”
“That’s a beautiful memory.” I could picture Garrick as a little boy in awe of the magical moment.
The waiter brought out Garrick’s espresso, and he took an appreciative sip before placing it back on the coffee table in front of us. Watching his confident movements mesmerized me. “Have you traveled much?”
“No, but it’s on my bucket list.”
Our entire evening, his attention hadn’t strayed from me. I felt important. “What kind of things are on your bucket list?”
I rubbed the stem of my glass and smiled, thinking about the list I had nearly forgotten about. “I want to ride in a hot air balloon, snorkel with stingrays, kiss the Blarney stone. There’s a lot on there. Do you have one?”
“Not really.”
“You may be more of a workaholic than I realized.” I chuckled at the thought. Then I asked, “Do you ever get tired of working so much?”
“Not yet, but that’s probably because I haven’t had a reason to want to cut back.”
His eyes bore into mine, bringing out goose bumps along my arm. I looked at the time and was shocked to see how late it was. “Oh my, look at the time. It’s after ten. I need to get home.”
Garrick rose and extended his hand to help me up.
“Do all the balconies have couches?”
“No, I had it arranged. I figured it might be a more comfortable way for us to get to know each other.”
Again, time stood still. All this… for me… for us. I took a step forward. “I had a wonderful evening. Truly one of the best I’ve ever had.”
I licked my lips and his eyes shot down to follow the movement. His throat bobbed as he swallowed.
“When can I see you again?”
Garrick had reiterated that he was a workaholic. I wanted to leave the ball in his court and not be clingy. “When were you thinking?”
“Tomorrow. Dinner again?”
“Yes.”
I had to see him again. Again, the magnetism grew between us. My lips tingled, wanting to feel them against mine. Our faces inched closer. Yes, this is happening. Yes, I want him to kiss me. The door to the balcony opened, and I froze. This is too soon. I took a step back. “Thank you again.”
Garrick took a step back as well and shook his head. “Let me walk you to your car.”
“Thank you. That would be nice.”
I felt like I might overheat from the spot on my neck his hand touched. At my car, I fumbled with the keys, wishing I hadn’t stopped the kiss. Before I opened the door, I turned around.
Garrick put his hand on the car and leaned a little into me. His eyes darted to my lips again. I wanted him even closer. I placed my hands on his chest. He leaned in more, bringing our faces mere inches apart. We were heading toward a kiss. I wanted it. I will not let another opportunity pass me by. His free hand came to my neck before his lips pressed against mine. The strength of him felt amazing.
His tongue swept against my lips, and I opened to him, tasting him for the first time. As I imagined, it was better than my dream as he dominated my body. My grip tightened on his neck. All too soon, he pulled back. We were breathless, literally starved for air… each other.
“Goodnight, Knoah.”
“Night, Garrick.”
I touched my lips, relishing the moment.
Chapter Thirteen
At the coffee pot, Sawyer poured herself a cup of coffee while Mickey waited behind her. Here we go again. Her demeanor instantly took away the high from my dinner with Garrick. Only a few more days until this event was behind me. Hopefully then, things would go back to normal.
“It’s nice of you to join us, Knoah.” Mickey’s voice was ice cold and dripped sarcasm.
I gave her a tight smile, dreading another day like this. Checking the clock, I confirmed I was forty-five minutes early. From my left, Sawyer cocked her head, clearly not understanding what was going on. We hadn’t been together much this week for me to tell her what had happened.
Regardless, I’d reached my limit of being treated this way. “Mickey, can I speak with you?”
With clipped steps, she led the way to her office. When the door shut, I went for it. “Have I done something wrong?”
“Knoah, I don’t think this is working out.”
Wait. What? I stood there, staring at Mickey to see if I’d misheard her. Her body language spoke volumes. Swallowing, I straightened my posture. “Are you firing me? None of this makes sense. I don’t understand. Is this because I had dinner with Garrick?”
Her eyes went wide and lips flattened in displeasure. “Pack up your things. Consider your termination effective immediately.”
Tears welled in my eyes. Yes, I reached my limit but this was extreme. Anger raged through me. I straightened my shoulders. “I can’t believe you’re firing me. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“It’s my company. And cutbacks are needed. I’ll send over your severance information via a courier.” Mickey turned toward her desk.
This was absolutely ridiculous. “What happened?”
“It’s not working out.” She flicked her wrists in my general direction. Officially I’d been dismissed.
I ground my teeth. Her mind was made up, and she wasn’t going to tell me the truth. “Until this week, it was a pleasure working with you. I wish you the best, Mickey.”
I was stunned as I walked to my office. I loved my job and what it provided—routine. Now, it was gone.
I will not let her see me cry.
Glancing around, I realized there was nothing personal I needed to take. No pictures. No mementos. So maybe my job wasn’t as important as I once thought it was. I’d never plugged myself in personally here. The job had filled the time. Sadness crept in. I’d wasted so much of my time these last few years hiding from the world.
I’m going to start living.
Taking one last look around, I let out a breath. I’d taken home my birthday flowers last night—Garrick’s first gift to me. Everything else here belonged to the company. I turned my back and walked out of my office.
Sawyer met me at my door, shell-shocked. “Knoah,
there has to be a misunderstanding. Let’s talk to Mickey.”
“No, I’m done.” I walked to the front desk with Sawyer following behind me. I took a pencil and wrote all of my passwords down. Mickey stood at the door, her arms crossed over her chest. Handing her the piece of paper, I said sternly, “I don’t know what happened or what changed over the last few days. But I will leave on good terms, at least from my perspective. Here are the passwords to my computer and files. Everything should be in order. All I have is my purse.”
Mickey took the paper, and her brows drew together. I turned to Chelsie and gave her a hug. “You’ve been wonderful to work with. Thanks for all you’ve done with me.”
She swallowed and nodded. “Bye, Knoah. I wish you weren’t leaving.”
“Me, too. But you’ll do great.”
Sawyer stood speechless. I was almost to the door when I remembered my keys, and I dug through my purse. “Here’s my key. This should be everything.”
Numbly, Mickey took the key. She was finally showing an ounce of feeling, but it was too late. I waited for her to say something, anything, about rescinding my termination. Nothing.
“I’ll see you at home, Sawyer. I promise I’m okay.” My voice stayed level even though my insides shook.
In a fog, I left. I handed over my badge at the security desk. “I won’t need this anymore. Thanks, Pete.”
“Are you okay, Ms. Knox?”
“I will be. I won’t need the security parking pass, either. Thanks for all you did to set it up. Will you give James my best? Here’s my e-mail if he wants it. Tell him I’d still like to see Jane’s work.”
Pete looked unsure of what to say. “Of course, Ms. Knox. I’ll let Mr. Shaw know about the security pass.”
I took a deep breath. “Will you wait a few hours before you do?”
That big toothy grin was my answer. “Anything for you, Ms. Knox. You take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
He stood and gave me a quick hug. Leaving the people here would be the hardest.
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