“Always.” The words were harder to form as he entered me.
I felt him a little deeper. “Mine to consume.”
“Yes.” My hips rocked, urging more, but Garrick kept me still.
My eyes implored him to move when he emphasized. “Mine.”
“Yours.”
The sincerity in my voice caused him to surge forward, and I felt his full possession as he pumped into me, taking a piece of me I freely gave. Our bodies became one, and I never wanted to be separated from him again.
I met him thrust for thrust while we gave ourselves to each other. The veins in his neck bulged. I was close, and so was he. “Together,” he panted. “Our first time, I want us to come together.”
“Yes.”
I was nearly crazy with need. Another twist of his hips, and I was lost, forever giving a piece of myself to this incredible man.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Later, I lay in Garrick’s arms as he slept. He had fallen asleep about thirty minutes before, but my mind wouldn’t let me rest.
I’d slept with another man.
I’d given myself to another man.
I loved another man.
Regret wasn’t something I could associate with the beautiful moment we’d shared. However, guilt plagued me. I’d been ready to share a piece of my soul with Garrick, but afterward, it felt like I’d betrayed my first love. Garrick’s possessiveness was different in so many ways. And I loved it. I craved it.
Dylan had never been possessive; we’d always just been us. It was hard to explain.
The feelings were confusing. I loved two men. One died loving me. The other held me as though I was the most precious thing in his life. And the vows he took before he entered me completely:
Mine to protect.
Mine to cherish.
Mine to consume.
Mine.
The seriousness of them rocked me yet elated me at the same time. The onslaught of emotions choked me. I needed air. I needed a second to sort myself out.
Ever so carefully, I inched out of bed. I grabbed the discarded blanket from the floor and wrapped it around my body before tiptoeing out of the room.
The rose petals tickled the bottom of my feet as I padded my way down the hall on the warm tile. Candles were still burning, which gave an ethereal look to the otherwise dark apartment.
The first tear fell. Then the second. Then a third.
Memories from the past collided with the present. My heart felt like a captive prisoner of the past—wanting to escape, but not able to.
Another tear fell.
It’s okay, Knoah. I know you love me.
Do you?
There’s enough love in your heart for Garrick and me.
I touched the cool glass as I looked over the city. Is Dylan’s voice a figment of my imagination to ease the hurt? The guilt? The loss?
A hand touched mine as Garrick came up behind me. “Did I mess this up?” he whispered.
The concern in his voice nearly did me in. “No, it was perfect. Unlike anything I’ve ever felt.”
“Then what’s wrong, Knoah?”
I turned and leaned my back against the glass to stare up into his face. His dark hair was a mess. In his eyes, there was a spark. Is it love?
“I feel guilty. I loved Dylan. He’d been my first love. But what we just experienced? It was more—in so many ways. We were truly one person. You knew my body but had never touched it before tonight. I became yours in a way I never knew I could.” This was so hard to wrap my head around. “You’re only the second man I’ve ever slept with.”
The tension vanished from his expression. “Knoah, you were young. What we have will be different from what you had with Dylan. It’ll be different from anything I’ve had. It already is. What we have doesn’t lessen what you had with Dylan. It simply makes what you and I have special in its own way. I don’t want to live in another man’s shadow like you wouldn’t want to if the roles were reversed.”
It was all too much. “I feel terrible. I’ve ruined tonight.” More tears fell, and I tried to look away, but Garrick stopped me with his hand on my chin.
He leaned in. “No, you didn’t. You were honest with me. That’s what will keep us strong.”
He was right. Though it would take a bit to get my head fully wrapped around this.
Grazing his nose against mine, he murmured, “Tonight was perfect in every way. Feeling you against me. Being inside your body. Knowing we were one person. I’m convinced there’s nothing better in this world.”
I dropped the blanket, and Garrick’s hands touched my nipple. “I want to feel you again.”
His mouth dropped to my earlobe, and he pressed me against the cold glass. “No one can see you. No one will ever see you like this except me.”
I moaned in response. His words were a declaration. One I wanted to clarify, but I remained silent.
His tongue lightly grazed my jaw. “You’ve wrecked me, Knoah. Completely.”
He hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around him. Our mouths found each other’s as Garrick walked us back to his bedroom. My back hit the bed. In another instant, Garrick was sheathed and positioned between my legs. Feeling him inside me completed me in a way I never wanted to end.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I woke to the feeling of fingers walking up and down my back. My eyes fluttered open.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Morning.” We had made love through the night twice more. Something glowed within me… pure happiness. The memory of Garrick touching me, cherishing me, made me smile.
Shifting, I felt a distinct soreness between my legs. Garrick noticed. “Are you sore?”
“A little.”
That was a bit of an understatement. I was actually as sore as I had been the first time Dylan and I’d had sex.
Garrick reached for a glass and two pills on the nightstand. “I thought you might need these. I should have thought to have you take them before you feel asleep.”
The water was cold. “When did you get these?”
“Not long ago. You were out of it.”
I took the pills and then snuggled back against his chest. Garrick wrapped his arm around me, and I reveled in his strength. This morning, I felt like I belonged to him. I loved the feeling.
“What are you thinking about?”
I wondered if I should tell him. Don’t hold back. I traced an invisible design on his chest. “I don’t want to scare you.”
“You won’t.”
I lifted my face to look at him. “Garrick, you’re not used to serious relationships. And serious is all I know.”
His eyes searched mine, and there was no hint of disquiet. “Something I’ve never experienced before happened between us last night. I’m not thinking about my next meeting or going through my to-do list. All I want to do is hold you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You won’t scare me, Knoah. What were you thinking about?”
I kissed his lips. “I was thinking about how I feel completely yours—as if you’ve reached inside and possessed me.”
A heat flared in his eyes. “If you weren’t sore, I’d be possessing you right now. I won’t be able to go a day without having you.”
“You’re going to have to buy a lot of condoms.” I laughed.
Garrick squeezed me. “I think I can manage the cost.”
“Probably.” I kissed his chest where the sheet had slid down to reveal his torso. He truly was a beautiful man.
Garrick put one arm behind his head, causing the muscles in his upper body to bulge. If I wasn’t so sore…
“Knoah, don’t think about it. Not until later. You’re too sore.”
I blew out a breath, knowing he was right. We lay in each other’s arms, content. Sleep was beginning to creep in again when he said, “I’ve been thinking.”
“About?” For an instant, I wondered if he’d changed his mind about our relationship. Stop it, Knoah. St
op. He feels the same way you do. Sometimes the ingrained instinct to expect the worst still reared its ugly head.
His voice was deep, and I felt the vibrations against my cheek. “I want to take you away this week. Somewhere special for us to be together. What do you think?”
Time alone together to focus on us. Garrick was throwing out his rulebook for me. “I would love that. What about Hastings and Navarro?”
“I’ll work with Joe to see what he thinks. But I want to figure this out. I think it’s important for us. Sawyer will be back soon. Kurt is staying in Orlando. There’s my family. Plus the Hastings and Navarro situation. We have a lot coming our way, and this is too special to take for granted. We have to take time for us.”
We were so close considering how long we’d been together, yet at times it seemed like we’d been together for months. It was a fragile state in any relationship. At the moment, Sawyer was occupied with her mom. Once she came back, I would need to make time for us to spend together. “If I can help do anything, let me know.”
“I will.”
“You’re too good to me.”
“You deserve nothing but the best. I will always strive to give you everything you need.”
I snuggled into Garrick and drifted off to sleep, completely content.
~ ~ ~
The next time I opened my eyes, I was alone in the bed. I stretched, glad to feel the soreness had subsided some. My lips tingled as I thought about last night. In the light of day, I was less scared. Happiness had given me a second chance, and I planned to hold on to it with both hands.
Where is Garrick? I looked at the clock—it was after ten. He was probably working. I stretched again. It was odd for me to sleep this late. Normally, sleep came in only a few hours’ spurts.
On the nightstand, my phone vibrated. I reached for it, glancing at the display, and smiled. I missed my best friend.
“Hey there. How’s your mom?”
A squeal came from the other end of the phone line. “Oh, shit on a stick. You have sleepy sex voice. You feasted on summer sausage, didn’t you?”
I snickered. “Sawyer, I hope you’re not around anyone.”
“Just Cameron.”
“Sawyer!” I scolded and sat up.
“I kid. I kid. I’m right, though, aren’t I?”
I was ready for Sawyer to come back and chewed on my lip. “Maybe.”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! I knew it. I want details. Are we talking summer or Vienna sausage?”
Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “Sawyer! I’m not comparing my boyfriend to sausage.”
“Oh man, we’re probably talking supersized. Do they make anything bigger than a summer sausage? I’m officially jelly. My sex life has been like the Mojave Desert—no signs of life for miles and miles and miles.”
I giggled at her ridiculousness. “Geez, I’ve missed you. How’s your mom?”
She huffed. “You’re a party pooper. When I get back, we’re definitely having a girls’ night. But Mom is doing great. They’re releasing her next weekend. Garrick already contacted Cameron this morning. He’s sending his jet for Mom so she can rest on the flight. Seriously, Knoah, the man is phenomenal from what I can tell.”
She had no idea how truly wonderful he was. “I think so, too,” I whispered.
I heard a gasp. “I think this is more serious than I realized.”
“It is.”
“When I get back, we’ll talk more.”
“I’d like that.”
The line cut out for a brief second. “Oh geez, Mr. Rockstar himself is calling me. We’re transitioning the account. He is one needy guy. Let me take this. But when I get back we’re having a loooong talk.”
“I can’t wait. Be safe. Oh, and I’m having all the stuff at the apartment packed up today. You should be moved in here by the weekend. I’m going to only have your bedroom stuff brought here for the time being. The apartment is fully furnished.”
“Sounds great. You’re the best. Bye.”
“Bye, Sawyer.”
Kurt’s needy? I’d never known him to be that way. I had a sneaky suspicion he wanted to get to know Sawyer better.
I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. The sheets still smelled like Garrick. I thought about every caress as I touched his pillow.
While I was lost in my thoughts, the phone rang again. This time it was Kurt. It would be hard not to ask about Sawyer, but I wasn’t going to meddle.
“Hey, stranger.”
“Morning. I figured I would stop by if you’re available. I’ll come bearing hot coffee.”
The blinker sounded in the car. “Oh, I’m for sure available, especially for coffee. About how long until you’re here?”
“Does fifteen minutes work?”
“Perfect.”
I was about to say goodbye when Kurt said, “Hey, Knoah?”
Uh-oh. This was Kurt’s serious tone. “Yeah?”
“I think you found a good guy. He likes you.”
That same giddy feeling filled me. “I hope so.”
“I know so. You know the idea to have another girl come out onstage with me for the song?”
The stunt got the paparazzi off me. “Yes…”
“Garrick called me. Gave me the idea. He was pissed you were vulnerable. I thought you should know. Yesterday, I gave him my blessing after I saw how he watched out for you. I know I don’t have to, but Dylan would want it.”
Tears formed in my eyes. Though I was an adult, hearing this made any residual guilt fade away. “Thank you. I like him, Kurt.”
“I know, squirt. And I couldn’t be happier for you.”
I smiled. “You’ll find it, too, someday. And she’s going to be beyond special.”
“We’ll see.”
Kurt had always been a pessimist when it came to love. His real father had abandoned his family when Kurt was young. At least at times, he was open to the idea. I had to be careful when talking about the subject not to push Kurt away, emotionally. “See ya in a few.”
“See ya, Knoah.”
We hung up, and I quickly got out of bed to get dressed. A quick visit to the restroom gave me a chance to brush my teeth and straighten myself. Looking in the mirror, I saw happiness.
Prior to our first date, he’d cared enough to reach out to Kurt and had handled the paparazzi for me.
“I thought I heard you stirring in here. How are you feeling?”
I spun around with a shriek. Garrick leaned against the doorway. He still wore his lounge pants and a T-shirt. As my pulse returned to normal, I realize every fiber of my being wanted him again.
He smiled. “You were in deep thought.”
“I was. Kurt told me you gave him the idea about the girls coming onstage.”
“Even then, I felt a primal need to protect you. I was pissed he’d taken the whole thing as casually as he had.”
I smiled. “Well, thank you. It got the vultures off me.” We stood against the counter, staring at each other. It was sexy, knowing we wanted to touch each other but refrained. “Were you working?”
“Yes. How are you feeling?”
Biting my lip, I replied, “Much better.”
The golden flecks in his eyes darkened. “Good. I don’t think I could go tonight without feeling you.” Need unfurled in my belly. “I’m addicted to you.”
“I hoped you’d say that.” Then I remembered Kurt and our plans. “Kurt’s coming by in probably five minutes.” Maybe I should have talked to Garrick first since this was his place. “I—uh—sorry I didn’t ask first.”
Garrick walked up to me and took my face in his hands. “This is your home, too. You don’t need to ask. I know the circumstances are a little unconventional, but this is still our home.”
“Our home. I like the sound of that.” And when the time came for me to get my own place, I would hate not having Garrick with me every night.
He kissed my nose, stepped away, and pulled out his phone from his pocket to type somethi
ng. “I’ll let Joe know Kurt is coming.”
Mentioning the two names brought me back to my concern last night. We hadn’t fully discussed it. “Do you think the Navarros or Monroes will hurt Kurt?”
Garrick rubbed his chin, which had a bit more than a shadow present this morning. “No, he’s too high profile. They’ll want to keep as much under the radar as possible. Kurt’s in some sort of magazine often, plus the news and social media feeds.”
It was true. When I was avoiding Kurt, it had been nearly impossible not to see something with his name mentioned. He enthralled the public.
I remembered the song we sang. “Did last night hit the Internet?”
“No. I thought it might, but there’s been nothing. I notified my PR team to stay on top of it. If the public tried to pair you together, we would’ve done something.”
“Are we feeling a little possessive this morning?”
“Of you. Always.”
“I like that response.” The buzzer rang, and I gave him a quick kiss on the lips before heading to the door. “That’ll be Kurt.”
As I walked into the hallway, I noticed all the rose petals were gone. “Wow, did you clean all this?”
“No, cleaning service. I had them leave all the vases, though. I thought you might like to keep the roses for a bit. They changed out the water.”
Double wow. That had to have been a lot of work. Untouched perfection. I plucked one of the roses out of the vase and brought it to my nose. “White roses are now my favorite. I’m glad you kept them.”
Garrick gave me a beautiful smile. I put the rose back and opened the door.
Kurt greeted me with coffee. “Morning, squirt.”
“Morning.” I took the coffee, grateful for the caffeine. “Any chance I can get you to stop calling me that?”
“Nope.” He looked at Garrick. “Sorry, man. I thought you’d be at the office or I would have brought you something.”
Garrick held up a hand and dismissed it. “I’ve already reached my quota for the day. It’s good to see you again, Kurt.”
“You, too.”
We walked into the living room. Kurt stared at the flowers but remained silent. I sat on one end of the couch. Motioning to the leather armchair, I said, “Make yourself comfortable.”
Untouched Perfection Page 21
