by J B Heller
“I said eat, Ivy,” his tone was hard and he started tapping his fingers on the tabletop.
“I, I can’t. I’ll be sick,” I stuttered.
I figure honesty was the best route to take right now. And I was right; he considered my words and nodded, “Wrap it in a napkin; you can bring it with you.”
I did as he said. When he stood and held out his hand for me, I took it without question. I didn’t let my repulsion show when his thumb caressed the back of my hand. He walked us straight out of the restaurant, over to the lifts and pressed the down button. We didn’t have to wait long for the lift to come. When we entered, he hit the button for the basement where his car was parked.
He guided me over to a black Range Rover. Normally I’d like this car, but since it was his, I developed an instant loathing for all vehicles like it. He shoved me into the passenger seat then fastened my seatbelt for me, grazing my breast with his long fingers as he secured it. I shivered with disgust, but his twisted mind thought I liked it, so he did it again. “See, I told you, you will warm to my touch.”
I stayed silent, even though my mind was screaming and thrashing about, but not my body. I stayed frozen in place. He gently ran his knuckles down my cheek and rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip. I wanted to bite it off; instead, I turned my face away from him and clenched my teeth so hard my jaw ached.
“I won’t always be so lenient, but this is not the time or place to discipline you for your defiance. You will respect me, Ivy. Do you understand?” he seethed.
I nodded once, but refused to look back at him. He slammed my door and stalked around the front of the car, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. When he got in the driver’s seat, he slammed his door too. I’d pissed him off, and while I knew I shouldn’t, I still found a small amount of satisfaction in that one small act of defiance.
We drove for hours. I wanted to fall asleep, but I refused to let my body win that battle. I needed to stay alert. The same words ran through my head on repeat.
I’ll spare a few.
I wanted to ask him if he’d hurt anyone else I cared about. I didn’t really know Blake, but he was friends with Gabe and he was willing to put himself in harm’s way for me. I wanted to ask what he did to him. Was he still alive? Did he just knock him out or something? I hoped so. And Kai, if he had Tessa, where the hell was Kai?
There were so many things I wanted to know; why me? Where were we going? What did he do to Blake? Is Tessa okay? Why did he keep rubbing his left knee? What the fuck was wrong with him?
But I wouldn’t. As much as I wanted answers, I refused to speak to him.
I started thinking about Axel. He was supposed to be there in the restaurant too. Was he? I wouldn’t have known even if I fell over him. Did he go to help Blake? Was he following us? Then I remembered the pin Gabe gave me yesterday. I was wearing it; I put it on one of the belt loops of my jeans this morning. I didn’t want it to be obvious, and honestly, who wears pins or brooches anymore? It would have been a dead giveaway if I wore it on my tank.
Knowing I was wearing it made me feel somewhat reassured. Gabe knew where I was. He would find us. I didn’t want to risk Stalker Douche seeing me fiddle with it to set off the silent alarm. Besides, with the amount of time that had past, I knew Gabe was already coming after me.
I planned to use Trixie as soon as I laid my eyes on Tessa, but I’d need help getting away. This car was a stick and I couldn’t drive one.
I prayed that Gabe was safe and Kai too. Thinking of him made me wonder, what did this psycho do to get past him to Tess? Kai would have protected her with his life; I didn’t doubt that for a second. Oh God, I hoped he was okay.
I began to fidget. I’d been sitting still for too long.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Axel made contact to let me know Blake was MIA and he was on Ivy’s tail. They’d left the hotel an hour ago. He knew not to approach on his own. Kai was MIA as well. I hadn’t heard from him since last night when he went to take Bitch Face to a safe house.
I’d been pacing the length of my living room since I spoke to Axel. The plan was to wait for Kai. When he didn’t check in last night, I assumed it was because things between him and Bitch Face had gotten hot and heavy. But he should have checked in this morning. Then I heard the front door open and slam closed.
Kai came into the living room, his arm in a sling and hospital bands around his wrist. My eyes went wide, “What the fuck man? What happened?”
“Do you want to talk about this now, or get our shit together and go after your girl?”
I didn’t answer; I already had our gear packed in a duffle bag sitting by the front door. I walked out and grabbed the bag on my way passed, while Kai followed behind me.
The tracker I gave Ivy yesterday transmitted straight to my phone. When we got in the car, I put my phone in the dock attached to the windscreen then pulled out of the drive. Kai still hadn’t spoken and I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to know. “What happened man?”
He released a deep sigh, “Long story short, the fucker shot me. Only reason I’m alive right now is because of Tessa. She chose the right moment to stomp on his foot, and he missed his mark. He didn’t realise it though, thank fuck, or he would have made sure he finished the job. I woke up in the hospital an hour ago.”
Fuck. He had Bitch Face and Ivy. Was that his plan all along? He wanted them both? I shook my head, it didn’t matter, we just had to get them back.
“Blake’s MIA.”
Kai didn’t respond and I had nothing else to say. We drove the rest of the way in silence.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before we pulled up in a wooded area beside Axel’s car. He was waiting for us. I didn’t waste time, turning around I retrieved the duffle from the back seat before I got out of my car.
When Axel saw Kai’s arm he went to ask but Kai cut him off, “Fucker shot me, he’s got Tessa. Now, what do we know?”
Axel got straight down to business. He’d drawn up a rough map of the house they were in on the other side of the woods. He’d marked out all the access points and best escape routes. He’d noticed trip wires when he first scoped the place out, they were on the map too.
He saw Ivy being led into the house when they arrived, she was unharmed, but there had been no visual since.
Once we agreed on a plan of action, we suited up. We all wore vests, Kai got lucky last night, we couldn’t take that chance again. We had enough firepower to take down a small army, but hopefully we wouldn’t need it.
We made our way through the woods silently. When the house came into sight, I signalled Axel and Kai to take their positions. Kai took position closest to the front entry, with Axel covering him, while I followed the tree line around to the back. Once I was in place, I signalled the boys. It was go time.
Kai emerged from the woods, walked directly up to the front door and knocked. He waited a beat before knocking again. When there was no sound from within after the third knock, he tried the handle. It opened and I watched him enter the house. This wasn’t the plan, but we were trained to adapt to any situation.
Axel kept his cover while I approached the back door. I tried the handle, but this one was locked. I picked it and within ten seconds I was in. Once the room was cleared, I silently closed the door behind me. The next room came up empty too. I made my way through the house, systematically clearing each area before moving on to the next.
I could hear a muffled voice through a wall, but I couldn’t be sure who it was. No shots had been fired since Kai had entered the house, so I had to assume he was doing the same thing I was right now. As I rounded the corner, the sight before me had me frozen in place. There in the hallway was the fucker’s lifeless body in a pool of blood.
I had to step over him to get to the only other door down this hall. When I came to it, I heard the voice again. I readied myself, there was a possibility he wasn’t alone in this, even though everything I’d found out about him pointed to him bein
g a loner. You never did know for sure with psychos like this.
The handle twisted easily in my hand, I pushed it open as quietly as I could. Relief, so potent, washed over me at the sight of Ivy sitting in the corner rocking with Bitch Face in her arms. “Ivy. Angel, I’m here.”
I threw the door open wide, letting light from the hall stream in. Before I went all the way in, I called back over my shoulder, letting Kai know that I’d found them. When I turned back to them I realised something, Bitch Face wasn’t moving.
I took three large strides to reach Ivy’s side, tears were streaming down her face and she was mumbling under her breath. I lifted my hand to check Tessa’s pulse.
I wanted to feel relieved that Gabe had found me. But he was too late. I kept rocking a cold, lifeless Tessa in my arms, refusing to acknowledge him. I wanted to slap his hand away when he checked for her pulse, but I didn’t have the strength. Moments later Kai burst into the room, followed by another man I assumed to be Axel. Where the fuck were they when I needed them?
Kai’s features darkened beyond anything I’d ever seen before. I watched his face morph from pain to agony to hate to nothing. He’d shut down. Without speaking, he stepped up to me and knelt down on his knees. He brushed away some of the hair that had stuck to my face and tucked it behind my ear. Then with no effort at all, he lifted Tessa from my arms and strode out of the room.
I had nothing left. Tessa was gone. The only person in this world who knew and understood me, my pain, my choices and I hadn’t protected her. I was poison, everyone I loved got killed. Looking up into the tormented eyes of the love of my life, I wouldn’t see the same fate for him. I had dropped Trixie on the floor by my feet when I had pulled Tessa into my arms.
Faster than I’d ever moved before, I reached out grabbing my gun and lifted it to my temple. I squeezed the trigger— a shot rang out. But I was still here.
She moved so fast and at first, I thought she was coming into my arms. By the time I realised what was happening, she held a gun to her temple. I threw myself at her and knocked it from her hands, but not before she’d gotten a shot out.
His glock at the ready, Axel came rushing back into the room; he had followed Kai out only moments ago. I turned slightly and motioned with my head for him to leave; he nodded and left without question.
I lifted myself off Ivy; she refused to look at me, turning her face to the side. The constant flow of tears matted her hair. As gently as I could, I turned her face back to me, but she closed her eyes. “Angel. Why did you do that?” I implored.
An anguished sob ripped from her chest, “You shouldn’t have stopped me.”
“I had to, you’re my life. If you take yourself away, you’re taking me too.”
She still wouldn’t look at me. I scooped her up in my arms and took her away from this place.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Three Weeks Later…
Not only was I left grieving the loss of one of my closest friends, my brother in arms, but also my girlfriend.
I felt responsible for Blake’s death. If I hadn’t of asked him for help, he’d still be here. How did I deal with that? It was my fault he was dead. He always said he would die young because of the risks involved in doing what he loved. But that was part of the reason he loved this line of work, the risk, the thrill, and the adrenalin rush that comes with protecting someone else’s life with your own.
Blake was found in the emergency stairwell at the hotel, his neck had been broken and then he’d been thrown down a flight of stairs. We would never be sure of the details of his death.
We buried him last week; it was fucking awful. I hated funerals. I’d been to too many over the years and they never got any easier. To make matters worse, the media made a circus out of the whole situation. As soon as they got wind that an ex-marine, suffering from PTSD, had gone crazy and stalked a girl, leading to two kidnappings and two deaths, it was plastered on every TV, magazine and newspaper.
The police were more than pissed that we handled the situation without them. Luckily, I knew the right people and they were able to cut through most of the bullshit and cut us some slack. The boys and I walked away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. After Ivy gave her statement, it was deemed she’d acted in self-defence and she was cleared too.
Processing everything would’ve been so much easier with Ivy by my side. But, she still hadn’t spoken to me. She’d moved back to her house as soon as we got back. At Tessa’s funeral, she’d greeted me just as she’d done everyone else who came to pay his or her respects. She wouldn’t even allow me to comfort her. All I’d wanted to do was hold her in my arms and show her how much I loved her.
I had tried calling, texting, hell I’d even sent her an email or three. I’d had no idea if she was okay, so I’d had a 24/7 watch on her, just to make sure she was safe. What else could I do? Kai had told me to give her space. I’d done that, for three fucking weeks. But I was done; I couldn’t do it anymore. I grabbed my key and headed to her house.
On the drive over, that day flashed before my eyes repeatedly, like a film that kept skipping and freezing on certain images. First the house, then the empty rooms, the body in the hallway, Ivy in the corner, Tessa’s blue lips, Kai’s broken face and Ivy with the gun at her temple.
I cannot accept that this is how it ends between us. Until the words leave her lips, I won’t give up.
When I got there, I went straight to her front door, not bothering to tell the guy on watch that he could leave. I didn’t know how long I was going to be here. And even if she didn’t want me, I’d be keeping the watch in place.
I banged on the front door with more force than I’d intended. When she didn’t answer it, I yelled out, “I’m not leaving until you talk to me, Ivy. So open the fucking door.”
A moment later she did, but not enough to let me in. I pushed against it with my shoulder, effectively forcing my way in.
She didn’t fight me on it, just walked away from me into the kitchen. I closed the door behind me then followed her in. She was perched on a bar stool, her hands wrapped around a full mug of coffee. When I got closer I could smell it, and it wasn’t just coffee in that cup.
I looked around the kitchen then saw a bottle of whisky on the other side of the bench. I knew for a fact Ivy didn’t drink, but considering everything she’d been through, I honestly didn’t blame her for starting now.
I took the stool beside her, rested my forearms on the bench in front of me and waited, but she continued to ignore me. I released the breath I’d been holding since I’d sat down beside her and began to talk, “I’ve given you space, but I’m done. I love you, Ivy—”
She cut me off, “Don’t. You need to move on and find someone worthy of your love. Someone who willingly returns it. I am not that woman anymore and I never will be again.” Her eyes glassed over, but she didn’t cry.
I sat, dumbstruck. Hearing her voice again after so long, lifted my spirits, but her words shattered them just as quickly. She still loves me; but she doesn’t want to? I shook my head, “You don’t mean that.”
She pulled her shoulders back and sat up straight in her stool, “Yes, I do.”
She sculled the remainder of her coffee then placed her palms on the counter to push herself up to stand and took a step back to make her way around me. On the way to make herself another drink, I reached out and grabbed hold of her wrist before she could get past me.
She flinched at my touch. Her reaction caused my heart to squeeze tight, as if she’d crushed it in her hand.
“You will come back from this, Angel. I promise. Let me help you,” I begged her.
Then she repeated the words that I had said to her, what seemed like forever ago, “I don’t need or want you here.”
She pulled her wrist from me and rounded the kitchen counter. I watched as she poured herself another drink, this time without the added coffee. I snatched the cup from her hand and grabbed the bottle too. I’d been down this road, and I was so
mad at myself for letting her go down it too. She was the one to pull me out of it, now it was my turn to return the favour.
I stalked over to the sink and poured the rest of the booze down the drain. I could feel her eyes boring holes into the back of my head. She knew what I was doing. She didn’t say anything, and when I turned back around, she was still standing where I had left her.
He’d come for me. Why wouldn’t he let it go? Couldn’t he see I was trying to protect him? I made it clear I didn’t want him anymore. But he was still here.
Looking at him for the first time in three weeks, I could feel my body reacting to him, but it didn’t matter. I had made my decision.
We stood, mere feet from each other, in a standoff of sorts. He glared at me and I glared right back. I knew what he was doing. The very same thing I did to him. And that was my last bottle of whisky, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to care. The alcohol didn’t help the way I thought it would.
The nightmares were still there and the memories were just as vivid. They said you could drink away the pain, and drink to drown your sorrows, but mine wouldn’t go away or drown. No matter how much I drank.
I closed my eyes and turned my back to him; it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Switching off my emotions was getting easier with each passing day. And I welcomed the numbness.
As long as he didn’t touch me again, I could get through this. I kept my back to him as I spoke, I didn’t want to see the hurt¸ that my words would cause, in his beautiful eyes, “You can leave now. I don’t want you to come back. I don’t want to see you again Gabe; this is goodbye. And you can take your lackeys with you.”
His large hand wrapped around my shoulder and spun my small frame around to face him. A jolt of electricity ran through my body at his touch but I pushed it away; I couldn’t let him see my body’s reaction to him. He shook my shoulders a few times, trying to snap me out of the void, “I’m not leaving until you say it. Say you don’t love me, Ivy, and I’ll leave.”
