by Sue Fortin
She stood up and took her bowl and cup over to the dishwasher, clearly not wanting to pursue the conversation.
‘Any chance you’ll get back together?’
‘No.’
The reply was out almost before he had time to finish his sentence. She sure was definite about that.
‘Amicable break-up, was it?’ Donovan knew he was verging on the point of being nosy but he felt his questions justified. He was, after all, entrusting his most precious thing, his daughter, in her safe keeping. She was facing him now and looked as if she was contemplating telling him to mind his own business. He felt compelled to explain his questioning. ‘Look, Ellen, I don’t mean to pry but it’s just I like to know who is looking after my daughter. I don’t want you running off back to your boyfriend if you suddenly decided the grass wasn’t greener after all.’ For a moment he thought she was going to take offence, the indignation clear on her face. He watched as she visibly reined in her emotions, letting out a breath before speaking.
‘Of course, you’re absolutely right to ask. I understand.’ Her voice was calm. ‘I can assure you, there is absolutely no chance whatsoever that I will be going back to my boyfriend. That was all over six months ago and I haven’t been tempted once since then to reconsider my decision. This job is a new start for me and I am fully committed to looking after your daughter. I have her best interest at heart. I really do.’
‘Thank you,’ said Donovan. ‘That’s what I wanted to hear.’
‘Good. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Donovan.’
Ellen firmly closed the door to her room and sank down onto her bed, her legs suddenly feeling weak and her shoulders heavy. She ran her fingers over the circular marks on her right arm. They were rough under her fingertips but no longer hurt. The physical pain had gone. The pain she felt inside, in her mind, was not so eager to leave.
Chapter Five
Still feeling bad tempered from his wasted efforts Toby crashed around the kitchen of his apartment whilst making a decent cup of coffee. One which he had no intention of throwing on the floor this time. He had been sure from the guilty look on Kate’s face that the envelope held the key to Helen’s whereabouts. He leaned back against the counter and sipped his coffee, his eyes idly wandering over the notice board on the wall opposite. It was a pink quilted heart that Helen had made and proudly hung in place herself, since he had refused to. It wasn’t his style but he relented and left it there since it was round the corner and not in full view. It still had her stuff on it. A photo of them on holiday in St Lucia last year. Another photo of Scruffs in his usual position; sprawled out across the sofa. His eyes moved over the board. A couple of receipts. A shopping list. A retro black and white postcard of the Hollywood actor Paul Newman, an icon Helen adored, shared the same pin as a dental appointment card alongside a takeaway menu for the local Chinese.
He stopped in mid-thought. His eyes flicked back to the dental card. When was the appointment? Maybe he could wait outside the dentist, just in case she attended. Putting his cup down, his attention firmly fixed on the card, he walked over and unpinned it, ignoring the picture of Paul Newman, which fell to the floor.
He turned the appointment card over and was disappointed to see that the routine check-up had been and gone. He wondered if they would give him any information as to a new address for her. It was too late to ring them now; he’d contact them in the morning. He placed the card in his wallet. As he went to finish making his coffee, his foot kicked the postcard, which had landed face down on the floor. Toby bent to retrieve the card. Absently he glanced at the message on the back, written to Helen from Kate.
I know you said you fancied a new man but this is the best I could come up with.
Lol.
Kate xxx
Toby reread the message. Turned the card over and then back again. New man. Paul Newman. Newman.
He pulled his iPhone from his pocket and hastily located the picture he had taken of the envelope at Kate’s flat. Ellen Newman.
A warm feeling of victory ebbed over him.
‘Clever, sweetheart,’ he muttered, ‘but not that clever.’
Ellen woke early the next morning after a night of restless sleep. She showered and dressed before making her way downstairs to Izzy’s room. Poking her head around the corner of the door, she expected to see the little girl fast asleep, it was so quiet in there. Instead, Izzy was sitting up in her bed looking at a book.
‘Good morning, Izzy,’ said Ellen. ‘You’re up early. You should have come and woken me.’
‘But I’m not allowed. Carla says I must stay in bed until someone comes to get me for breakfast. Is it breakfast time?’
‘Not yet but we can get you dressed and go downstairs, if you want.’
‘We’re not allowed to until breakfast time,’ said Izzy, looking up at Ellen. ‘It’s the rules.’
‘The rules? Whose rules are those?’ Ellen felt her hackles go up. Carla and her rules. Whose house was this? Then, noticing the anxious look on Izzy’s face, she felt bad about asking the child. ‘Hey, don’t worry. We can have some of our own rules. In fact, my first new rule is … we can get up early and go exploring. How does that sound? You can show me the garden. I haven’t been out there yet.’
Izzy looked delighted at the suggestion. ‘The garden? Really?’ Discarding her book with abandonment, she threw back her duvet and jumped onto the floor. ‘I can show you my trampoline.’
‘Excellent! Let’s get you washed and dressed then.’
The grass was still a little damp from the morning dew. Trees shielded the garden from the sight of neighbouring properties, their long shadows cast across the lawn.
The trampoline was at the far end of the garden, next to a wooden climbing frame and swing.
‘Race you to the trampoline,’ said Ellen. ‘Ready, steady … hey! You’re supposed to wait for me to say go!’ She laughed as Izzy sped off down the neatly kept lawn. Ellen ran after her but made sure she didn’t catch up.
‘I win! I win!’ sang out Izzy as she scampered up the steps of the trampoline and through the opening of the safety net. ‘Look at me. I can bounce really high, just like Tigger. Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!’
Ellen wriggled in through the opening, zipping up the net behind her. Wobbling against the spring of the mat, she laughed as she staggered towards Izzy. Holding hands, they bounced up and down, laughing and shrieking as they jumped higher, before Ellen lost her footing and landed in a heap, bringing Izzy down on top of her. Ellen wasn’t quite sure if she was laughing at herself or whether Izzy’s infectious giggling was making her just as bad. Getting to her feet again, she hauled Izzy up.
‘Come on, Tigger,’ she said. ‘Let’s try again. See if we can bounce higher this time.
Ellen didn’t hear Carla at first, but noticing the sudden look of concern on Izzy’s face, she stopped jumping and turned to look back at the house. Carla was marching down the garden towards them.
‘Oh dear,’ said Ellen, looking back at Izzy and pulling an eek sort of face. ‘Carla doesn’t look too happy.’
‘What are you doing out here this time of the morning, making all this noise?’ demanded Carla, as she reached the trampoline. ‘You will have the whole street awake at this rate. Come inside at once.’
‘We were only having a bit of fun, seeing as we were up early,’ replied Ellen, attempting a graceful exit from the trampoline. She lifted Izzy down onto the grass and sensing the child’s unease, picked her up again and began carrying her back towards the house.
‘That’s not how we do things here.’ Carla turned to Izzy. ‘You should have told Miss Newman that you’re not allowed out here until after breakfast.’
‘Ellen. Izzy doesn’t have to call me Miss Newman.’ Ellen couldn’t hide the annoyance in her voice. All these rules for an eight-year-old. What sort of place was this, for goodness sake? She felt Izzy bury her head into her shoulder. Probably frightened of what could potentially turn into an ar
gument. Ellen purposefully put a spring in her stride and started singing a nursery rhyme. She felt Izzy relax against her and was pleased when she joined in with the song.
As they reached the patio, something made Ellen glance up to the first-floor window. Donovan was standing there looking down at them. ‘Oh, Izzy, there’s Daddy. Wave. Hello, Daddy!’ They both waved up at Donovan, who smiled broadly at his daughter and waved furiously back. Then, for a second, his gaze switched to Ellen and he smiled directly at her. Why it made her tummy give a little flutter, Ellen wasn’t sure. She distracted herself by putting Izzy down and, taking her hand, led her indoors.
Sitting at the breakfast table with Izzy, Ellen was disappointed when Carla sat down opposite them.
‘I’d appreciate it if you stick to how things are done here, please,’ said Carla, fixing her gaze on Ellen. ‘It’s important Izzy keeps to a routine; that way when you leave there is minimum disruption for her. Your replacement can fit in easily.’
‘My replacement? When I leave?’ Ellen met Carla’s gaze with equal intensity. She wouldn’t let herself be bullied. Those days were long gone. She’d let that happen with Toby and had sworn never again. ‘I’m not planning on going anywhere soon.’
‘I’m sure Carla was thinking longterm.’ Donovan entered the kitchen. ‘Morning, ladies, and good morning, my beautiful princess.’ Izzy slipped down from her seat and ran to her father, who scooped her up into a big hug, kissing her on the nose.
‘Good morning, Donovan.’ Carla smiled warmly. Ellen couldn’t help but notice the change in demeanour of the PA. ‘I was merely pointing out to Miss Newman that nannies come and go, but it must always be Izzy’s best interest kept at heart, hence the routine we like to stick to.’
‘We were just having a bit of fun. It’s such a nice morning for this time of year, we thought we’d take advantage of it.’ Ellen defended herself.
‘Quite right too, nothing like a bit of spontaneity,’ Donovan replied cheerfully. Ellen revelled in his obvious approval of her actions but this feeling of triumph was soon diminished by his next sentence. ‘However, Carla does have a point. It’s best for Izzy if we stick to something of a routine.’
‘Of course,’ she said after a moment, and then immediately wanted to kick herself when she saw the disappointed look sweep over Izzy’s face.
Breakfast passed without further confrontation and soon it was time to take Izzy to school.
‘Let’s do your coat up, Izzy,’ said Ellen, crouching down and fastening the zip. ‘It’s a bit windy out there today.’
‘Are you taking me to school?’
‘Yes, that’s right but Daddy’s coming as well. He needs to show me the way.’
As Ellen stood up, Donovan came out from his study. ‘Are we all ready, then?
‘Yippee!’ cried Izzy. ‘Can we go in your car, Daddy?’
‘I don’t see any reason why not,’ replied Donovan, running his hand across his daughter’s head.
The clipping of heels on the tiled floor signalled the arrival of Carla. ‘Did I hear you say you were going out, Donovan?’ she said, joining the group in the hallway.
‘That’s right. I thought I’d take the opportunity of driving Izzy to school.’
‘In that case,’ she turned to Ellen, ‘you won’t be needed. Why don’t you go and see if Mrs Holloway wants a hand in the kitchen?’
‘I don’t mean to be rude, Carla, but I’m employed as a nanny, not a domestic help. It does state that clearly in the contract from the agency,’ said Ellen. She didn’t mind helping out now and again, but she didn’t want it to be a foregone conclusion. ‘Anything I do is supposed to be related to Izzy.’
Ellen watched Carla’s eyebrows rise so high, she thought for a moment they would disappear into her hairline. Fortunately, Donovan spoke first.
‘Ellen does have a point,’ he said. ‘Besides, I want her to come with me so she can learn the route before having to do the school run alone.’
‘As you wish, Donovan,’ replied Carla, her smile so obviously forced. The telephone ringing in the study was a timely interruption. ‘I’ll get that. Have a good day at school, Izzy.’ Carla clipped her way back down the hall to attend to the telephone.
‘Carla doesn’t like you,’ said Izzy.
‘Izzy!’ reprimanded Donovan. ‘That’s not true. Of course Carla likes Ellen.’
‘It is true,’ said Izzy, matter-of-factly, in the way only a child could. ‘You can tell by the way she screws her eyes up at Ellen and her mouth all scrunches up like she’s eaten Brussels sprouts. Like this.’
Ellen couldn’t help laughing. That had to be the perfect impression of Carla. Glancing across at Donovan, she was met by serious-looking eyes. Oh dear, he clearly didn’t share her appreciation of the joke. Ellen fought to control herself but then Donovan’s face erupted into a huge grin. He shook his head and looked down at his daughter.
‘Izzy, sometimes it’s best to say things in your head rather than out loud. You could upset people. Remember, we‘ve had this discussion before?’ Izzy pouted slightly at the admonishment but then graciously nodded before homing in for a cuddle.
Walking out to the car, Donovan leant in toward Ellen. ‘Sorry about that.’
Ellen smiled at him. ‘That’s okay, really don’t worry.’ She opened the rear door of the Range Rover and lifted Izzy up into the seat. ‘Can you do your seat belt? My, you are a big girl.’ She closed the door and, turning round, was surprised to find Donovan standing right behind her. She could smell the freshness of his aftershave and the fabric softener on his clothes.
‘But I do worry. Please ignore Carla. As I said before …’
‘I know, she’s just a bit frosty. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before the thaw sets in,’ finished off Ellen, good-humouredly. She wanted to add that Izzy was probably right about Carla not liking her, but she kept the thought to herself. Ellen went to move around the back of the vehicle to sit alongside Izzy but Donovan blocked her way.
‘Sit in the front,’ he said. ‘You’ll get a better idea of where you’re going then.’ Reaching past her with his left hand, he opened the passenger door and, taking hold of her elbow, turned her in the direction of the front seat.
The Range Rover was huge compared to Toby’s sporty TT. She hadn’t driven regularly for three years now; living in London she had forgone a car. Toby had his car, which she had only been allowed to drive when he was too drunk. Her role as designated driver was automatically assumed without question. Well, she had questioned it once. Toby made sure she never questioned it again.
‘Will I be using this car to drive Izzy to school?’ she asked.
‘If I said yes, would it worry you?’ he asked.
Ellen looked across and could see him reining in a grin. ‘It wouldn’t worry me, but it might worry you.’
Donovan let out a small laugh, which danced around the confined space of the vehicle. It was a warming feeling, one which she realised she hadn’t experienced for a long time.
‘In that case then,’ said Donovan, ‘you can use the Fiesta that’s parked in the garage.’
‘That’s a relief.’ Ellen was aware that she was grinning, probably wider than necessary, but her facial muscles seemed intent on exercising themselves to their full potential.
‘For both of us,’ he replied with a wink.
Chapter Six
They drove in silence out of the private beach estate, towards the nearby town of Chichester. The traffic was heavy and it took some time before they reached the north of city, where they then headed to Oakdale School, an independent school nestled in the rolling countryside of the Sussex Downs.
The drop-off routine was efficient and impeccably carried out. Pull up in the car park, walk over to the classroom, a kiss and a hug for both Ellen and Donovan, before Izzy was rounded up by her class teacher and whisked off into Blueberry Class.
‘Well, that seems pretty straightforward,’ said Ellen, fastening her seat belt as Donovan p
ulled out of the car park. The narrow village lane was busy with school-run traffic.
‘Yes, Izzy’s very good. Very adaptable,’ he replied.
‘Has she had to adapt to a lot then?’ pried Ellen. She knew she shouldn’t really, but hadn’t he been doing the same the previous evening? Not only that, she somehow felt comfortable in his company. She didn’t think he would take offence. She stole a glance at him. His lips pursed as if thinking about his response.
‘If I’m honest, we’ve had several nannies recently. I know it’s not ideal for Izzy. Just as she gets used to one, they leave, then a replacement comes and she has to try and build up a rapport all over again.’ They were out on the dual carriageway now, heading back towards Felpham. ‘And before you ask, because I’m certain you’re going to … the nannies haven’t lasted for a variety of reasons.’
‘What about Izzy’s mother?’ The question was out before Ellen had time to check herself. Now she really was pushing the boundaries. ‘Sorry, you don’t have to answer, it’s none of my business.’ Damage limitation.
‘Remember when I said to Izzy that sometimes it’s best to say things in your head and not out loud?’ He gave Ellen a sideways glance, his eyebrow raised. ‘Well, that.’
There was no dancing feeling of words this time. The silence that filled the rest of the car journey was more like a funeral march. Donovan clearly had no intention of talking about Izzy’s mother and Ellen cursed herself for mentioning it.
Ellen’s thoughts turned to Kate and how she was going to get to a computer.
‘Do you know if there are any internet cafés in Felpham?’ she asked breaking the silence.
‘We’re not exactly a bustling metropolis. We can do the cafés but it’s more likely they will have blackboard and chalk than Wi-Fi.’
