Bad Boy Alphas Collection

by Vienna Vixen

  “My mind is already concocting possibilities,” I informed him, not unkindly. “I do need to hear the story before I decide though.”

  “I used to live in a different town. The details don’t matter. Anyways, I worked for a repair shop where I enjoyed tinkering with cars, and as I told you earlier, I took the odd job here and there whenever I needed money.”

  I nodded for him to continue.

  He took a deep breath before he continued. “I not a perfect man, Victoria. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I’m not even sure I’m a good one, but what I am is protective and loyal. That I can attest to. However, I am also a jealous man.”

  Uh-oh.

  I was beginning to have a bad feeling about where this was going, but I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything. It was after all, none of my business. I clasped my hands in front of me as I twisted in my seat to get a better look at him.

  The car creaked under my weight startling both of us.

  “I knew when I met her that she was different. Cadence was one of those people who was naturally happy and cheerful. She always tried to make sure everyone around her was like that too. I was crazy about her from the minute I met her.”

  It felt like someone had reached inside my chest and was squeezing my heart painfully. I knew this was before he met me, but hearing him talk about her that way still sent a twinge of regret through me.

  He would never talk about me that way.

  I was under no illusion as to the nature of my relationship with Derek. It wasn’t like we had agreed to anything, so I couldn’t hold him accountable. If we had nothing between us but sex, it was because we both agreed to it. I had no idea if this date was because of guilt or pity, but it was what it was.

  “Cadence liked to go off on all sorts of adventures. Backpacking, hiking and such. She was the nature type, and I loved her for it, but I did worry. Especially because I was not always able to go with her,” he continued, his eyes glazed over as if he was in some kind of trance.

  In a way, he was.

  He was witnessing a movie in his mind’s eye, a private one that I was not privy to. I merely got to hear him narrate it which would have to suffice.

  “I always teased her that she needed to be more careful in case she came across a wild animal or something, but she always waved my protests away and said she trusted animals because they had pure souls or whatever. Yeah, I know it sounds like some new age bullshit, but she believed it, so it was okay. I indulged her though every now and again, I did worry,” Derek explained.

  “Cadence knew that I was the territorial type, and she found little ways to make fun of me for it till I began to lighten up. I was still a bit too protective for her liking, but we found a compromise.”

  “She sounds amazing,” I offered when he lapsed into silence, in the throes of some kind of demon I couldn’t see. Whatever had a hold of him, he would have to figure out a way to save himself because I couldn’t do it for him.

  “She is,” he agreed. “I haven’t spoken to her in a while, but I’m sure she still is.”

  “I don’t understand,” I admitted.

  “Cadence went off on one of her hikes one day, and she wasn’t back when she said she would be. At first, I wasn’t worried. I figured she was just running a bit late, and she’d get to me when she could, especially because most of the time the signal up there sucked. I waited and waited although my gut feeling told me that something was wrong. Four hours passed with no word, so I went out to ask if anybody had seen her.”

  A deep sigh escaped Derek’s lips, one that made him sound way older than he was. “When I finally found her, she was sitting at a lone star at the bar staring straight ahead. I walked up to her, hugging her in relief, but when she flinched, I knew something was wrong. She had mud caked all over her face, a few scratches on her arm, but it was the look in her eyes that chilled me to the bone. It was this look like something inside of her was broken.”

  Derek craned his neck, deep pain reflected in his eyes. “I took her home, and after a while, she finally broke down and amid sobs, I was able to make out her story. She got lost while she was up there, and while she was trying to get back home, she asked an officer to help her get back. It didn’t occur to her to question why he was up there to begin with. In any case, he agreed, but as soon as they were deep enough, he attacked her.”

  I gasped as my hands flew to my mouth, and tears immediately welled up in my eyes. To be in a vulnerable position like that, and to be taken advantage of by someone who has sworn to protect you had to be one of the most terrible things in the world.

  “She tried to fight back, but he was too strong, so eventually, she lay completely still while he tore her clothes off and raped her. She just retreated into her mind until he was done then once he was, she kicked him off and ran, but no matter how far she ran, it was never far enough. She couldn’t come home at first because she couldn’t face me since she blamed herself for not being safe.”

  “She couldn’t possibly have known that would happen,” I offered as I reached for his hand. He surprised me by gripping it firmly. “Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about monsters that wear different masks that we forget that monsters can be humans too.”

  “Yeah,” Derek agreed. “Obviously, I was furious. I wanted to tear him limb from limb. As soon as I was sure she was sleeping deeply, I went off to the police station. Cadence was able to get a good glimpse at his face, and a quick look at his name tag. I asked for him as soon as I walked in, and I swear I had no intention of harming him, but as soon as he walked out with the swagger, and the arrogant twist in his lips, I couldn’t control myself.”

  “I can’t say that I blame you. I might’ve done the same,” I commented.

  “Rightfully so. I beat the shit out of him, and I didn’t feel one ounce of regret. It took four grown men to pull me off of him, and the only reason they could is because I didn’t want to kill the man. I wanted justice for what he’d done to her. He spat in my face when they restrained me, and when I accused him, he smiled cruelly and said that it wasn’t his fault she was asking for it.”

  “I lunged at him again, but this time, they locked me up to get me to cool off, and I was pacing and seething all night. I had to call my best friend Max to go check on Cadence then bail me out. Cadence was furious of course, but more than that she was bone weary, and didn’t want me getting in trouble because of her. She insisted that the only thing to do was press charges and let the system take its course. I disagreed, but I couldn’t get her to agree that there was another way.”

  Derek swallowed heavily as he stopped. I covered his hand with both of mine, injecting as much compassion as I could with that one gesture. I wasn’t sure if it worked or not, but it was the only thing I could do. I had no idea how to comfort him other than that, and I wasn’t sure if touching him was a good idea when he was in the midst of recalling such a vivid and painful memory.

  “Soon, it became apparent that the police department would rather cover up what he did than own up to the fact that they had a crooked cop. Aside from her testimony, there were no other witnesses, and there was no evidence. Cadence had scrubbed herself raw after she calmed down, and unfortunately that washed away his DNA. I was livid, but I knew there was nothing I could do that wouldn’t get me in trouble. He was still a police officer after all, and anything I did to him would mean I wouldn’t be able to protect Cadence.”

  “Oh, Derek.” I impulsively threw my arms around him. I had no idea what it must be like for him to know that kind of pain. To live with that kind of regret.

  “I wasn’t going to hurt him, I swear. I was just out taking a walk, but when I saw him standing outside talking to this girl who looked frightened out of her wits, I couldn’t help myself. I crossed the street, and I saw that he was harassing her. The girl looked relieved to see me, but the officer just looked mildly annoyed as he asked if Cadence wanted another go with him. When he said that, all I saw was red. I wasn’t ev
en aware of what happened until I felt the girl’s arms wrap around me from behind and pull me backwards.”

  “When I looked around, she was gone. The only witness who could’ve defended me and made it seem like more than just an act of revenge. Eventually, I went back to him and erased all the evidence, but for days Cadence and I were skittish. Worried that every knock on the door might mean that they came for me. After a while, his murder was written off as a random mugging, and they never came for me. Cadence left me after that. She said that it was too hard to stay where she was with me and not remember. It was hard, but I knew I had to let her go. I moved away as well, and came to Melbourne Heights to start fresh.”

  I took a deep breath as I began rubbing Derek’s shoulders in slow soothing gestures hoping that it would somehow warm the cold that had suddenly entered into his heart because of his recollection. He seemed unaware of my touch at first, but soon he melted into the hug, and he threw himself around me too, so that we were both clinging onto each other.

  Time passed quickly or slowly, I wasn’t sure which, but our position stayed the same. We merely shifted when I crawled onto his lap and held him as if I could erase all the pain, and as for Derek. He clutched me as if I was his anchor, the only lifeline keeping him tethered to this plane of existence.

  All around us, the world continued to shuffle by in a blur of color and noise that was more like sound effects than anything else.

  “I loved her, Victoria, but I couldn’t save her,” he whispered as he played with my hair.

  “You couldn’t have known,” I repeated. I tilted my head up to look at him, and he was staring out the window with a haunted look on his face. “Look at me.”

  He snapped his attention back to me. “What?”

  “It was that piece of shit’s fault, and you know that. He was the one who attacked her. Beyond that it wasn’t yours or hers. You did the best you could, Derek.”

  “Yes, but I shouldn’t have been out that night, and I have no idea what came over me when he said that. I could’ve just made sure the girl was okay then walked away. It wasn’t my fight that night,” he protested, weakly as a muscle ticked in the corner of his jaw.

  “He was trying to get under your skin, Derek,” I pointed out. “You know that as well as I do. I don’t need to know the guy to know it’s true.”

  “Still.” He removed his hands and scrubbed them over his face as if he could somehow wipe the memory away. “I should’ve known better.”

  “You had a moment of weakness. We all do. We’re only human after all,” I said, softly as I wound my arms and began playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I think you should’ve told the truth instead of running.”

  “And risk going to jail for something I didn’t plan on doing?” he asked, disbelievingly. “I saw how they were treating the case with Victoria which would’ve looked like peanuts compared to what I did. I couldn’t take those chances and destroy my life.”

  “You couldn’t have found the girl?” I pressed.

  “It’s like a needle in a haystack,” Derek confirmed. “I did look for her by the way because I know it may not seem like it, but I did feel guilty. Not that he wasn’t the scum of the Earth, but still I had no right to take that man’s life, and I thought if I was able to come forward than Cadence and I would be able to move on with our lives, but I had no idea that we were beyond fixing at that point.”

  I held his gaze. “So you ran?”

  “So I ran,” he agreed, never once blinking as he looked deeply into my eyes. I could see that Derek wasn’t sure that telling me was the right decision. It was reflected in his irises though I had no idea if it was because he was afraid of what I would think of him, or worried that I might turn him in.

  He needn’t worry on either account, but I was still trying to figure out the best way to tell him. I took his hand in mine and placed a soft kiss there. When I was done, I pressed my head firmly to his chest, above the place where his heart beat steadily.

  It skipped a beat occasionally which made me smile despite the seriousness of the situation.

  “We all have skeletons in our closet, Derek,” I began, shakily. “I can’t say that this is an easy thing to swallow, but I understand why you did it.”

  His hand stilled in my hair as if he were afraid of the next words to come out of my mouth. “So, what’s the verdict?”

  I drew back and raised an eyebrow. “Verdict? It’s not my job to play judge, jury and executioner, Derek.”

  Derek pressed his mouth into a firm line. “It’s what most people do. I wouldn’t be able to blame you if you did. I did just confess to a crime.”

  “Which you didn’t mean to do, and feel guilty about,” I responded. “How could I possibly judge you for that?”

  “It’s not that hard.”

  “Derek, I’m not passing judgement here. You did what you thought you needed to do. Now, I’m asking you to listen to me like I listened to you,” I urged as his eyes shifted restlessly until they finally landed on me.

  He was coiled up tight like a panther about to spring, and I understood why.

  “I know that wasn’t an easy thing to confess, but I also know the world isn’t as black and white as we’d like to believe. There are many shades of grey, and you lost control in a moment of anger spurred on by your desire to protect someone you love and care about. That isn’t a crime.”

  “Killing is though,” he interjected.

  “Yeah, it is, but I’m sure your demons haunt you enough with that. Now, there is something else. I know you haven’t explicitly said, but I can sense that you’re worried I’m going to tell the cops.”

  He went stiff beneath me. “It’s the right thing to do.”

  “Yes, well, I’m not planning on doing that either.” I waved his comment away in frustration. “Honestly, for a man who doesn’t want to be prosecuted, you sure are quick to pass judgement on yourself.”

  He gave me a dry smile. “I figure better I do it than someone else.”

  I smoothed the hair back from his forehead. “You don’t need to do that around me. I accept you as you are, Derek Powell. Skeletons and all.”

  I could feel him struggling with my admission as he tried to decide whether or not I meant it. To him, it seemed too good to be true. That after everything that had transpired, and the line he crossed, he still got to fathom the idea of being happy.

  “Why?” He choked on the word. His expression weary as he held me back.

  “Because we all need someone in our corner, Derek. Someone who’s going to be there when the rest of the world turns its back on you. Something tells me you haven’t had a lot of that.”

  As soon as the words left my lips, his lips crashed against mine, and he moaned loudly as his fingers dug into my back. I sighed as I kissed him back just as passionately, hoping to convey the depth of emotion I felt for him using only my mouth.

  We remained like that, slowly kissing and running fingers over the clothes on our back for the longest time until a voice made us pull apart. “Get a room.”

  I pulled away first and blushed as I ducked my head. Derek smiled absentmindedly as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. He placed a soft kiss upon my cheek.

  “We’d better get out of this car because if we keep going, we are never going to make it to that restaurant,” he murmured. I nodded and slid off of him into my own seat where I ran my fingers over my dress to smooth it, and I finger brushed my hair to tame it.

  Derek opened the car door and ran over to my side where he opened the door and held his hand out for me. I grinned as I placed my hand in his and shut the door behind me. He tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow, as he lead me to the last restaurant at the end of the pier.

  It was by far the quietest one with very few people milling about despite the delicious smells emanating from inside. Once we got to the front entrance, he gave the hostess his name, and we were lead to a secluded table in the back that had the best view of
the sea.

  It was a small table, simple really with two chairs and a candle in the middle. Derek held out my chair for me before he went ahead and sat in his own seat. We conversed easily while we tried to decide what to choose.

  “I’m starving,” I announced as my eyes scanned the menu. “What’s good around here?”

  “You,” he said as his foot slid up my leg. I chuckled as I inched my chair away.

  ““Now, now! None of that. I am actually very hungry.”

  “So am I,” he said, suggestively.

  “We can take care of that later,” I said, dismissively before my face flushed. “I mean, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not assuming that something will happen later. Not that I don’t want it to, but I’m not—”

  Derek burst out into laughter as he reached across the table and placed his finger upon my lip. “Relax, Victoria. I’m not going to call your morals into question for making your intentions towards me clear.”

  “No?” I teased. “What will you do then?”

  Derek leaned back in his chair as he studied me thoughtfully. “Where do I begin?”

  “Wherever you want?” I asked, confusion lacing my tone. Derek stood up, shifted his chair, so that he was next to me and placed his hand atop my thigh.

  I was thankful the table cloth was covering his hands right now which were doing some serious wandering. “Trying to get a sample?”

  He chuckled. “A sample? Is that what you call it? Very well then, yes. I can’t seem to keep my hands to myself around you, so I see no reason why I should. Since we’re sitting here waiting for our food to come, and I have other things in mind, we might as well enjoy ourselves.”

  I reached for my glass of water and drank slowly as I tried to formulate my response. I opened my mouth to say something when his hand went beneath my dress and began to tease me on top of my panties. Derek pretended to look at the menu while his slight smirk gave him away.

  “I’m trying to decide what to eat,” I announced, my voice low and breathy in spite of my best efforts to contain it.