“Yeah, you will,” I said. “Or you can go back to Arlen and be happy for a change.” I pressed my finger against her lips to stop her from further protests. “You’re a miserable bitch without him, so I’m going to do my best to sort this whole thing out. Then you can get back together and do the wedding thing and be happy.”
“But Scarlet—”
“Arlen needs you, too. When I get back to Scarlet, you’re going home.”
I took Bekind aside. “Will you stay with them?”
“She’s my kin, too,” Bekind said. “I’m compelled to watch over her.”
I hugged her. “I love you, cat-lady.”
She reluctantly patted my back then pulled out of my grasp.
I did my best not to cry as I leaned over my daughter and breathed in her scent one last time. She stirred in Zoe’s arms, so I pressed my lips against her forehead and turned away before I lost my nerve. I already had my things: my dagger in my boot and my fear in my heart. I draped my old, tattered cloak around my shoulders. Leaving Scarlet would break my heart, but keeping her safe was priceless.
I moved toward the door. “I have to go.” And I stepped outside without a second glance.
Seconds later, Brendan slipped his fingers around mine as we walked away from the house. “We’re going a different way in case anyone follows.”
“Líle’s staying,” I said.
“I’m surprised.”
I glanced up at him. “She’s repaying a debt.”
“As you say.”
“She offered to kill Sorcha for me.”
He stared at me. “Never say that aloud again unless you want Líle to die, Cara.”
“I know. I asked her to watch over Scarlet instead.” My fingers tightened around his. “I’m scared to go back.”
“It’ll be like you never left.”
“Don’t leave me behind this time.”
He made a strange sound. “You won’t be alone again.”
He ducked under a tree branch as we exited my grandparents’ garden and entered the fae realm. For a moment, I froze, overwhelmed by the sensations and memories. The lilac moon cast a luminescent glow over the meadow we stood in.
“This is it,” he whispered. “Are you ready?”
“Nope. Let’s go.”
We walked until we came to the private place Brendan had taken me once before. In the distance, I saw the Hollows and shivered. They were even more imposing than I remembered.
Brendan led me under the willow tree and stopped to tighten the cloak around my face. He pressed his finger against my lips. “Do not speak, even if asked a question. I have a decoy carriage on its way to the castle. For now, you’ll stay with me and be a part of the war councils. When the right opportunity comes, we’ll meet with the Darksiders and hope they see sense.”
He cocked his head to the side as if listening for something then pulled me behind the tree. He kicked a root, and as though a spring released, a huge rock rose off the ground. I gasped when a secret passageway was revealed. He took a step down then turned to help me. We descended some stone stairs, and the rock closed above us. For a moment, the blackest black surrounded us. I clung to Brendan, feeling a sense of vertigo. I soon realised that we were spinning, but I had no idea how or what was happening.
“Almost there,” he murmured.
My heart raced. So many secrets. Finally, the sensation ended, and a light flickered in front of us. I could plainly see that we were in some kind of tunnel, but I couldn’t tell how far we would have to walk. Brendan silently led the way. As soon as his foot stepped into shadow, the light extinguished, and another lit up in front of us. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw nothing, and it reminded me of my first night with the fae, when the darkness had appeared to chase me. I sped up, just in case.
After a while, I heard voices and footsteps. I hesitated, but Brendan urged me on. We reached the end of the tunnel, and all of the lights extinguished. Brendan took my hand and laid my palm against the surface of the wall. In the corner was a lever.
“With me,” he whispered against my ear. “Or only one shall pass.”
We pulled the lever together. I flinched at the resulting creaking sound, but Brendan seemed calm. Ahead, I spotted winding steps that curved upward. A pale flickering light filtered through from an opening somewhere above our heads. We headed up, almost blindly, but my eyes adjusted by the time we made it to the third flight.
On and on we walked until we came to a dead end. I touched the wall and found it was hot. When we pulled another lever, the wall opened to reveal Brendan’s quarters in his castle. We stepped through his fireplace, and the secret passage closed behind us.
Brendan smiled as he brushed something off my face. “Soot,” he whispered. “The carriage will arrive in a few hours. Until then, you must stay hidden within this room. If someone knocks while I’m gone, you need to hide. If you think we’re being attacked, use the passageway. The third stone on the mantelpiece opens it again.”
“You think we’ll be attacked?” I squeaked.
“I will not let Sadler shame me a second time. I’m prepared for any event.”
“He didn’t shame you.” I turned away.
He caught my arm and pulled me to him. “I swore to keep you and your child safe, and he almost killed you both in front of me. That is shame.”
“He’s mad. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing.”
“But you beat him. You survived, and you escaped. Your child lived.” He undid my cloak and took it from me. “Make yourself comfortable. Food will come soon.”
I used a cloth he handed me to clean the grime from my face and hands.
He watched me closely. “You realise your daughter is still my heir.”
“What does that mean now? I mean, with Sadler and everything else.”
He held up my hand and fingered the black wedding band. “You are the queen of Chaos, and your daughter is a child of the same. She’s a princess. They don’t call her human. In your absence, they’ve half-forgotten that you’re human, for that matter. And it wouldn’t matter. Fae royalty have often used humans for breeding.” He cleared his throat. “Not that that’s what happened with you.”
I blew out a breath. “So they talk about Scarlet?”
“And you. If you had heard the rumours about you when you were out of our reach… I dare not believe half of them.”
I pulled away from him. “Maybe some are true.”
“Tomorrow, you must meet with Fiadh. She’s been asking about you every day.”
“She’s still here?”
He nodded. “Her child… I didn’t see the Darkside while I was trapped in the Fade. I didn’t quite realise the effect the taint had on the children. I must admit I feared that your daughter would be the same as Fiadh’s child, but your girl seems completely clean.”
With a sigh, I rolled up my sleeve, past the green and silver bracelet I never removed. “But I’m not.”
His eyes widened as he stared at the black veins in my arm. “Were you afflicted while pregnant?”
“No. This happened in the human realm.”
“You think it’s spreading there?”
“Maybe. You said we could have widened the rift, and the rift itself is close to the narrowest point between the realms. There could be all kinds of repercussions.”
He brushed his thumb across my black veins. “Then it’s more urgent than I suspected. How do you feel?”
“Okay. I mean, I’ve been kind of miserable, but that comes with working a boring office job with a pervy boss and knowing that I have to hide from the people I care about as much as the people who want me dead.”
“But you’re not sure if how you feel is because of your experiences or the taint?” He bowed his head and sniffed my skin. “I sense it under your skin. Something different.” He straightened. “But it’s not consuming you.”
I tried to smile. “You mean, yet. Do you think Scarlet is immune to the taint? I know her eye
is odd, but there’s no misery in her at all. She’s so happy that she makes everyone around her happier. Maybe, when I was pregnant, she kept me safe from it. Then when I gave birth, I became susceptible to it again.”
“She’s just a child.”
“She’s not like other children, Brendan.”
He smiled. “Every mother believes the same.”
“Her heritage isn’t exactly normal. Did you know about Bekind? That I came from her, too?”
He nodded. “I suspected as much. It was a great scandal that Nella managed to brush off. Are you unhappy about it?”
“I’d rather say I was related to Bekind than Nella.” I covered up my arm. “I saw this in the mirror, you know. Remember? The mirror in the Darkside that I told you and Drake about? It’s real. I saw it again.”
“How? Where?”
“Sadler had the mirror. He talked about making deals with a different god. He said he only took me because he saw us married in the mirror’s reflection. He saw me twice and knew he had to do something about me.”
“And what did you see this time?”
“Death.” I sighed. “Only death.”
“It sounds like we have a lot to talk about,” he said.
“Yeah, we do, but I’m exhausted. Are Grim and Realtín around?”
“Even they don’t know you’re here. We’ll keep it that way for this evening. Are you hungry?”
I shook my head. I was too sick with worry to think about food.
Brendan tipped my chin. “They will protect the girl.”
“The girl. She has a name.”
“I know. What made you pick that one?”
“It just seemed like the right name when I saw her.” I shrugged. “They helped me escape, you know.”
“Who did?”
“The Darksiders. Drake’s half-siblings, to be exact. They were so loyal to Sadler, but they let me go.”
“How strange.”
“Not really. They’re people, just like anyone else. Did the Miacha tell you everything?”
“I left the weapon with them, if that’s what you mean.”
“But did they tell you what I did with it?”
“You mean Deorad?” He nodded. “That was brave of you.”
I removed the cloak. “No, I was stupid. I should have finished the job then and there.”
“Sadler?”
“I had chances to kill him. I blinded him in one eye when I should have stabbed him through the heart. I let him age and ultimately use other fae, like he did with Deorad, when I should have stopped him.”
“How do you know he went on to use other fae?”
“Um.” Shit. “How else would he be alive? That doctor was on his way back. Sadler was losing it. I had to do something, but I didn’t know enough.”
“Who is the doctor?”
“I don’t know his name. They just called him ‘the doctor.’ They also called him foreign, him and Bart, actually.” It hurt to think of Bart. He had been kind when he wasn’t being enigmatic. “They made it sound like he isn’t from here. And he was using a shard of the mirror to… hurt me. So he knew about the mirror, knew how to wield it.” I yawned. “I should sleep.”
“Take my bed. I’ll stay on the couch. In the morning, we’ll reintroduce you to court.”
I barely slept that night. My heart ached for my daughter, and my body screamed at me to run. I felt lost without Bekind and Anya. I had relied on them so much. And Scarlet… I couldn’t stand to think of my daughter out there, running, without me. Tendrils of regret and doubt began to wind around my heart. Had I done the right thing? Ever?
But a small part of me felt content because I was back in the faery realm. I hated that part of me.
Chapter Four
I awoke alone the next morning, and the loneliness hit me in the gut. Nothing in the room reminded me of my daughter, and somehow, that was worse. I blew out a shaky breath as I sat in front of the fire and touched the medals around my neck that had belonged to my brother. I hoped that from wherever the dead went when they moved on, he would be able to watch over Scarlet if everything went wrong. I shook my head and dropped the necklace. I had to trust myself. I would fail if there was even the slightest doubt in my mind. Once I dealt with Sadler, our biggest threat would be gone, and I could ensure that Scarlet and I would be safe for the rest of our lives.
I sat and listened to the numerous footsteps in the hallways until Brendan opened the door a crack and slipped inside.
“Do you trust Fiadh?” he blurted as soon as he shut the door behind him.
“Fiadh?” I shrugged. “I barely know her. She would do anything for her son.”
“It will look better if one of Sadler’s subjects, especially one of such old lineage, is by your side.”
“She came here because of me. I think her actions put her on our side.”
“But are you willing to put your fate in her hands?”
I thought about the Darksider who had left her husband, her home, and her king, and had travelled to enemy territory because I told her it would help her son. “Yes. I think I would.”
“Then she will be a part of this.”
“Was the decoy carriage attacked?”
He relaxed and leaned against the door. “No.”
“What does that tell us?”
“Honestly, it’s hard to say. Either the right people didn’t hear you and Scarlet were on the move, or they realised it wasn’t true. I need to speak to Fiadh. I’ll be back.”
He stepped out of the room again for a few moments. When he returned, he looked less stressed. “I’ve sent for the Darksiders. We’re going to keep up the charade that there is a child here for as long as possible. Fiadh will be your companion. When you’re taking part in our war councils, she will take care of your child. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, okay. But there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What is it?” A knock sounded at the door. “Later, then.”
He opened the door. A willowy ash-blonde stepped in first, her eyes widening when she saw me. Fiadh came over and knelt at my feet. Her protector, Conn, strode in, his massive wings sweeping across the floor. Tiny black feathers edged the wings, making him look like some kind of warrior angel.
He carried a young boy in his arms. Fiadh’s son had grown in my absence. He was plumper, too, with the sharp lines of his face more rounded. His small features made him appear almost as feminine as the mother he so closely resembled. If it wasn’t for the slate-grey veins creeping from his neck to his cheeks, he might have passed for a normal human boy. I knew that, under his clothing, his skin was covered in black growths, but the boy looked far more alert than he had the last time I had seen him.
“Sit,” Brendan said. “And know this: if the truth of what is said in this room is spread, we all die. Do you understand, Fiadh?”
Fiadh glanced at me before nodding. “What’s going on?”
I patted the seat next to me. “Sit. Tell me about your son. How you’ve all been. Glic was so pissed when you didn’t come back. He got himself kicked out of court.”
“He was always a fool.” Fiadh smiled as she glanced at Conn and her son. “My boy is doing a lot better since we came here. He’s growing in strength. The healers don’t believe he’ll walk again, but I still hope. I named him Setanta, hoping a strong name would protect him, but…” She shrugged, her eyes filling with tears.
“You should get him a wheelchair,” I said. “He can still be mobile. He doesn’t have to be carried everywhere by Conn. He needs other kids to play with.”
“There is a lack of children around here,” Fiadh said.
Brendan cleared his throat. “That’s what we brought you here to talk about. Sadler is still hunting Cara’s child. She’s under protection.”
“But the child is not here,” Fiadh said slowly.
“No, but we need people to believe she is for as long as possible.” Brendan leaned forward. “The best way to protect the rea
lm is to keep the heir safe. The child needs to survive, and we need your help to protect her.”
“Of course.” Fiadh turned to me. “I owe you in so many ways. Mother to mother, this is something I willingly do for you and your child.”
“Thanks,” I whispered, half-afraid to look at Setanta. My daughter had been lucky to escape his fate.
“Can I ask?” Fiadh said hesitantly. “How is the child? Is she…?”
“She seems to be free of the taint,” I said. “She has a black mark in her eye, but that’s the only sign so far.”
“When people hear…” She shivered. “This is a good sign.”
“You think so?” I asked. “Will the Darksiders accept her?”
“They have no choice,” she said in a harsh tone. “We have little else.”
Conn looked at Brendan. “I take it we’re allowed to stay, even though we haven’t pledged to you.”
Brendan’s lips twitched. “I’ll forgive the lapse in judgement. I want peace. The realm needs it in order to carry on existing. Cara will do what she can to help us. If a war between three kings erupts, none of us are safe. I expect loyalty in this matter, make no mistake, but I am less interested in fealty of late. Some problems are far more important than taking sides.”
“We are loyal to our queen,” Fiadh said firmly.
Brendan grinned. My stomach did a little flip at how familiar the expression was, at how much I had missed it.
“Of that, I have no doubt.” He clapped his hands. “Now. There will be a war council later this evening. You, Fiadh, and Conn, are to take charge of Scarlet whilst we are otherwise engaged.”
“The deception won’t last forever,” Conn said, his long hair falling into his eyes.
“Nothing does,” Brendan said. “But the longer it lasts, the safer the child will be. You understand that a war is coming, that Sadler will risk everything to break any kind of peace I wish to pledge for.”
Conn nodded. “I know the kind of man he is. And I’m learning the kind of men the other kings are. I won’t fight for your army against my own kind. You understand that?”
“You have your own loyalties,” Brendan said. “And if war should come, you three should not be found in my court, for your own sakes.”
Usurper (Chaos #4) Page 4
