“We can’t let her leave,” Brendan said harshly. “If we send her back, any fae could torture her for information.”
“And if she loses her mind?”
“Then she can never leave!” he bellowed.
I flinched.
“Enough,” Drake said. His tone was soft and non-threatening, but fury twisted Brendan’s expression.
“You don’t command me,” the redheaded king said.
Drake’s gaze didn’t falter. “Nor you, me. And we certainly don’t command Cara, whether we like it or not. You and I can fix this in only one way. So I’m going with Cara when she leaves to face Sadler. I’m taking my soldiers, and I’m facing him with her. It’s time we finished this, once and for all. Are you with me or against me, Brendan?”
Drake offered his hand to Brendan. I held my breath.
What seemed like an eternity passed before Brendan lifted his hand and took Drake’s. “Yet another adventure, my friend.”
“What about Scarlet?” I asked. “Where’s a safe place for her?”
Brendan gave me a look that was more of an apology than anything else. “In your arms.”
I glanced down at my daughter, surprised by how relieved I felt. The pretence was over, and I could have her again. But I had two united kings at my back. Perhaps we actually stood a chance.
“Are you going to leave the castle undefended?” Grim asked.
Brendan shook his head. “We’re taking a fight to the Darkside, but I won’t let my subjects be molested behind my back. Grim, you must remain behind.”
A war of emotions was fought on Grim’s face. “Cara needs—”
“My people need you. You’re calm. You’ll ensure nobody panics.” Brendan gave the brownie a small smile. “Will you stay? Will you take charge of the court in my absence?”
Grim looked at me, misery in his eyes. I nodded at him, but I had a lump in my throat. I really did need him, but the Green Court needed him more. Brendan was right to choose Grim.
“You should stay,” I whispered. “Just in case.”
Grim’s shoulders sagged, but he spoke his agreement.
A commotion outside the room caught everyone’s attention.
“What now?” Brendan asked.
Dymphna opened the door and popped her head in. “The news has spread, and the… Darksiders wish to meet their princess.”
Everyone suddenly looked uncomfortable.
Brendan’s gaze held a cold fury, but he gestured toward me. “It’s your choice.”
“It’s okay with me, I suppose,” I said hesitantly, not really sure what would happen. But I was curious to find out. It was our first test.
Dymphna led Fiadh in by the arm. Conn followed, a sleepy Setanta in his arms.
Fiadh’s hands flew to her mouth. “I… may we see her? Just for a moment?”
I nodded, suddenly afraid. Fiadh got down on her knees and half-crawled toward us. Zoe’s hand clutched mine. I squeezed back, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
When Fiadh reached us, she peered at Scarlet. Her eyes were bright and shining. “She’s what we’ve been waiting for.” She inched away. “Bring him. Bring him here.”
Still holding Setanta, Conn approached and dropped to one knee next to Fiadh. Setanta looked at my daughter. I pitied him. He was covered in black welts, and she was so obviously perfect. It must have been hard for them to see her, but Fiadh couldn’t stop smiling.
“Kiss her hand,” Fiadh told her son. “Like I taught you. She’s your princess. You’re her servant forever more.”
The look in Fiadh’s eyes repulsed me, but I swallowed my protest. Hers was the reaction I needed if I was going to win against Sadler.
Setanta reached out and touched Scarlet’s curled hand. She woke at the touch, looking curiously at the boy she had never seen, the boy whose mother had just declared him her servant. A horrified look crept across Setanta’s face as he stared at Scarlet’s hand. I followed his gaze. A shadow of black brushed across her skin then disappeared. I yelped and inched away from the boy, holding Scarlet out of his reach.
“What is it?” Fiadh demanded. “What happened?”
“I need…” I gulped. “I need to speak to… people. Grim and… everyone. I need to talk… in my room. Now.”
Conn and Fiadh retreated as I jumped to my feet. Setanta’s eyes were feverish. He couldn’t take his gaze away from my daughter, and I wanted to hide her away from his prying eyes.
“Zoe,” I said breathlessly. “Anya, Bekind, Líle. In my room.”
“Go,” Brendan said. “Go hold court, Cara.”
I turned to him, wondering what the hell he meant by that. I opened my mouth to ask him, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer in front of so many people. “Let me know if the Miacha turns up,” I said, then I turned on my heel and strode out of the room with my daughter, followed by the people I could trust the most.
Chapter Thirteen
“You think she can cleanse him of the taint?” Bekind asked. She had a blanket gathered around her slender shoulders.
The others looked at me with a mix of horror and pride in their eyes.
I looked at Scarlet, who was playing on the floor with a soft toy I had brought from home to keep her scent with me. “No! I don’t know. Maybe.” Zoe had assured me that Scarlet hadn’t seen the violence and deaths, but I was still worried. “We can’t tell anyone.”
“How can she do it?” Grim asked. “Can you? Can Drake? Is it inherited?”
I shook my head. “All I know is that she did the exact same thing that the wood I killed Deorad with managed to do. Maybe it was a fluke.” I stared at my hands, wondering if holding the magical wood had done something to me. “Maybe it was the boy. Maybe he did something to her, accidentally tried to hurt her or something. Maybe… I don’t know.” I plopped down into a chair. “Some kind of magic protected her. The Miacha said she was covered with it at birth. Sorcha felt my baby dying inside me at the Dark Court. Someone or something is protecting her, and maybe everything that’s happened has… maybe the combination of it all has done something to her. I have no idea. Don’t any of you know?”
“It’s not as though the taint has been studied,” Grim said softly. “It doesn’t even have an official name. We’ve been calling it so many things.”
I caught sight of Realtín perched on the side of the bed, gazing at Scarlet as though my daughter were part of a freak show. “Stop it!” I shouted. “Stop looking at her like that.”
Realtín frowned. “I can’t help it.”
“We should bring the boy here,” Líle said. “Test out the theory.”
“What if it hurts her? What if absorbing that black crap will kill her insides? What if she absorbs it and keeps it? Oh, my God! What if her eye changed because she was absorbing it from me all along?” I tried to calm down, but it was impossible. “What if somebody thinks she’s the solution to the taint and buries her in the soil or something? What if—”
“Quiet!” Anya pressed her palms against her ears. “I can’t bear to hear any more of this.”
Zoe came over to stand next to me and rubbed my forearm. “Nobody knows anything.”
I glanced at Scarlet again. “That boy saw it happen. I need to do something about him.”
“Cara!” she said sharply.
I glared at her. “I’m not going to hurt him, Zo. I just need him to keep his mouth shut.”
“He’s a child and an invalid. Think about what you’re saying.”
I ran my hands through my hair. “I know. I’m a crazy person. But I’m supposed to be leaving to go to the Darkside tomorrow, and the first day my daughter arrives in the faery realm, she starts soaking up the taint from somebody else. What will happen if she stands on Darkside soil? I can’t handle this many problems at once.”
“This isn’t a problem,” Bekind said. “Not until you make it one. This could be the answer to turning the Darksiders to our side. You saw how that woman knelt at your dau
ghter’s feet. She called her a princess. This is good news, Cara. This is protection.”
“Or not,” I whispered. “What if the Darksiders come for her again?”
“Then we’ll be surrounded by two armies,” Líle reminded me. “She’s safe with you as long as you’re with those soldiers. We’ll deal with the taint when this threat is over.”
“Shit! You don’t know yet,” I said. “I had a visit from a Darksider who told me that these ships on the way are full of dead things, that some kind of god resurrected them to fight Sadler’s war for him.”
She gaped at me. “How do we stop them?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Hopefully, by killing Sadler.”
“And who’s going to do that?” Bekind asked. Her tone said she already knew my answer.
Zoe yawned, giving me a chance to escape responding.
“We should rest,” I said. “I want to spend some time with Scarlet, and we have a big journey ahead of us tomorrow.”
“I’ll find beds for everyone,” Grim said. “I’ll make sure food is brought up here, too.”
“Zoe, stay with me?” I pleaded.
She sat in the chair next to mine. “Of course.”
The others left, casting baleful glances back at us. When the food arrived, Zoe and I spread it out on the small table. I called Scarlet over to eat.
“We’ve been awake for pretty much two days,” Zoe said. “Scarlet slept some, but she must be exhausted, too.”
I held my daughter close and stroked her hair as she cuddled against me. I had been a little afraid she would forget me, but she seemed to have missed me.
“She looked for you,” Zoe said. “I know Anya took care of her a lot, but Scarlet kept looking for you.”
I tried not to feel happy about that. After we ate, we lay on my big bed together, Zoe and I holding hands while Scarlet dozed between us.
“You must have been terrified,” I said. “When everything went down.”
“I was scared for Scarlet, but I was too pissed off to be afraid until it was over. Then it hit me hard. That poor man, just bleeding out in front of us, and we couldn’t do anything to help him. Anya freaked out, but Bekind was great. I thought he was going to die, but she kept calm.”
“Thanks for protecting Scarlet.” Tears formed in my eyes. “I thought she would be safe away from here, but people figured it out, obviously.”
She squeezed my hand. “How have you been?”
“Frustrated. Angry. Sad. I’m the one who’s going to lead an assassin right to Sadler. It’s the only way to stop what’s coming.”
She frowned. “Do you really think you can do it?”
“I killed Deorad.”
She gave me a wry smile. “From what Bekind tells me, you helped Deorad.”
“That’s the spin on the tale. It wasn’t quite so noble. I hated him, too.”
“This is so fucked up. I know you. You can’t help them murder this man, no matter how much you hate him.”
“We’re not home, Zoe. This place changes you.”
Pain flashed in her eyes. “I can see that. So where’s Drake’s wife then?”
“She’ll be here later. If you see a dagger in my back, you’ll know what happened.”
“It must be tough… seeing him here.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “It is. Part of me is desperate to talk to him, but we can’t have a conversation without arguing. I don’t understand what’s happened to all of us. I can’t help thinking, ‘What if?’ If one little thing had been different, where would we be now? I’ve done everything wrong, Zoe.”
“None of this is your fault,” she said fiercely.
“I failed before I even got started. My baby doesn’t have a dad. He’s right there. He was in the same room as her, and he can’t be a father to her. She’s going to ask questions, wonder who her father is, and what am I supposed to say? It’s that man you always see who pretends we don’t exist?”
“Do you…?” She bit her lip. “Do you love him?”
“I feel everything, good and bad. Sometimes I think I made the biggest mistake, but then it’s like… he’s her dad, and you know I love her, no matter what, so I feel like I can’t hate the person who gave her to me. I feel like I’m supposed to love him, but the way he behaves makes it impossible to even like him sometimes. And I think I’m a terrible person when I hate him because he’s a huge part of her. It’s like… if I hate him, am I saying I hate her, too? I don’t understand how I feel. If it was just me, it would be clearer, but the three of us are connected in a way I can never change.” I huffed out a breath. “What am I saying? It’s never been clear.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I haven’t a clue. I feel like I owe it to Scarlet to put us in Drake’s crosshairs, to force him to really see us. But does she deserve that person, the person he’s become? When this is over, am I supposed to walk away with her and pretend none of this happened? Can I hide her heritage from her? I’m not sure what will hurt her more, knowing he isn’t capable of loving her or thinking he’s never had the chance one way or another. I know what it’s like to grow up with a missing piece. I don’t want that for her.”
“Forget Scarlet for a minute. What about you? What’s in your heart? I know how hard it is for you to get close to people, especially men, but you’re in this situation now, so you’ve had to adapt. How do you really feel about him?”
I lay back and thought about Drake, but Brendan’s grin kept getting in the way. I shook my head. “I see two sides of him. One side is cold and heartless, only concerned with power. That’s the part I want to protect us from. But the other part… I miss him. I wish I didn’t have to go through this alone, and I’m just… I’m lonely, Zoe. I know that sounds lame, considering everything that’s going on, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to sleep alone. I wish there was somebody I could turn to at the end of the day who would listen to me and not judge, somebody who didn’t have their own agenda, so I could trust them completely. I wish I could just share these burdens because they’re so freaking heavy sometimes.”
“I get that. Seriously. After I split up with Darren, there were a couple of months when, if he called, I’d go running because I was lonely. But it didn’t get me anywhere. You need to make a choice. Either you’re all in, or you cut the ties. You just have to separate how you feel from your worries about Scarlet. There’s what’s best for you, and then there’s what’s best for the kid. Those might not be the same thing, but they could be.”
I blew out a shaky breath. “She’s everything to me. I don’t know how to separate.” I rolled onto my side. “You know what’s weird? The fae aren’t supposed to feel, right? But when they came along, it was the first time I really started to feel. I was more like them before I met them than I am now, and I just don’t know what to do with all of these… feelings.”
Zoe snorted. “You’re such a girl.”
“Whatever, biatch. I love you, and I’m not ashamed to say it.”
We giggled then got caught up on what had happened since we separated. By the time I dozed off, I felt as if that burden had lifted just a little.
***
“Hey, Cara,” Zoe called out, waking me up. “There’s a boytoy at your door.”
“What?” I mumbled.
I rolled out of bed. Zoe was holding Scarlet and grinning at Bran, who stood at the door with an impatient look on his face.
“I’ve been knocking for ten minutes,” he complained.
“So?” I said, still half-asleep.
“So you wanted to know when the Miacha arrived. She’s here now.”
“Oh, right. Where is she?”
He sneered. “With the Darksiders.”
I punched him in the arm. “You’re looking at a couple of Darksiders. Give me a minute to get changed. Oh, wait. Have the Silver Court troops arrived yet?”
“Not yet,” he said, rubbing his bicep. “But we’ve received word that the lineage cons
ultant will be here this evening.”
“Crapadoodle,” I muttered. Zoe gave me a questioning glance, and I told her, “I’ll explain later.”
I ushered Bran out of the room, so I could freshen up a little and make sure Scarlet looked presentable. I told Zoe she could wait in the room, but she said she wasn’t leaving my side, and I was grateful.
When I opened the door, Bran was stationed in the hallway. “You don’t have to shadow me anymore,” I told him.
He shrugged and followed us to Fiadh’s room. Conn opened the door. He didn’t look surprised to see me, but he didn’t invite me in, either.
“I need to see the Miacha,” I snapped, not in the mood for pushy men.
“Is that Cara?” Fiadh called. “Bring her in!”
I made a face at Conn before shoving him aside. The four of us joined Fiadh, Setanta, and the grey-eyed Miacha in the main living quarters. Conn huffed and moved to stand beside Fiadh.
Grey Eyes hugged me then cooed at Scarlet, who blinked at her a couple of times before grinning. “Oh, she knows us,” Grey Eyes said, her entire face crinkling with the width of her smile.
“Um, yeah,” I said. Not likely.
“I’ve just been stitching up that poor guide,” Grey Eyes said. “He’s feeling much better now.”
“So he’ll live?” Zoe asked in an anxious tone.
Grey Eyes stared at my friend for a moment. “Oh, my. Another human in the Green Court. What fun the gossips will have. Yes, he’ll live, my dear. Cara, may I hold the child?”
I hesitated before passing Scarlet over to her. She and her cohorts had helped us more than once, so I trusted her. I just didn’t like having to hand Scarlet over when I had only gotten her back.
“One eye,” Grey Eyes said, gazing down at my daughter. “That’s all the taint she suffers.”
I realized I had been staring at Setanta and quickly jerked my eyes away from him. “So it seems. Oh, I have a little of the taint, too.”
After I said that, I cheered inside, because if Scarlet had some special cleansing power, then surely my veins wouldn’t be black. I had made a mistake with the boy. Scarlet hadn’t done anything.
Usurper (Chaos #4) Page 13
