I allowed my mind to listen, the voice still so far out of reach.
Mako? Who was that? Was that me?
I wished someone could hear my questions as I continued to be one with the darkness.
I wished for company; my soul ached to get rid of such loneliness.
Midnight.
The name popped out in my brain. I remembered her now; my other half.
Is this where she stayed when I was alive?
I could feel the sadness only grow; my heart ached for the other half of me.
I miss you Midnight.
Why won’t you come and keep me company?
I’m all alone...
~ ELIAS~
“She probably hates me.”
I allowed my heavy eyelids to open; Eli’s agonizing voice stirred me awake. I peeked out of the blanket made cocoon I created to look over my shoulder.
I frowned at the empty wrinkled side of the bed; my dragon shifter partner in crime, absent. I glanced at the electronic clock on the side of the bed; the miniature, electric blue guitar hosted on top of the rectangle contraption displayed 4:15 AM in light blue.
It shouldn’t surprise me that Marcus was already awake, probably at Mako’s side, instead of his usual training activities.
I knew he was way too stressed to work out, let alone carry out his regular activities. His body showed signs of his absence from training, looking slimmer each day. We’d all lost weight from the lack of sleep and eating.
If it wasn’t for Matthew forcing us to eat, whenever he came down from Knightwood every evening, I bet we wouldn’t eat at all. Regardless of the food he brought, it all tasted the same.
My meals were better when Mako was present. I loved that she’d idolized my cooking, begging me to teach her my ways once exams were over. I still couldn’t get the image of her wearing my apron that fateful day, her curves pushed the “heavenly baked” fabric to the test.
The way it covered her, gave off the image of her being naked, allowing my imagination to presume the apron was the only clothing preventing me from viewing her glorious figure.
I was glad I wasn’t wearing grey sweat pants, because I knew for sure my hardness would have been apparent as my eyes roamed over her body. I would never have imagined being in love with a girl who would even want to cook for me.
With all the girls at Knightwood, begging for a rich man to come sweep them off their feet, I had little to no hope that my future lover would attempt to learn how to cook.
Yet, Mako appeared. She was isolated from the world for sixteen cycles with not much cooking knowledge, but she woke up and cooked for all of us.
All the female shifters at Knightwood should stop and take notes. They would learn a few things.
I let out a sigh as I sat up, my body protested my movements. I still felt like I got tackled by those bloody bear shifters and left on the side of the road. As much as I wanted to sit here and mope, I needed to calm the feeling of sadness flooding my hazy mind.
“Eli, please. Mako doesn’t hate you.” I allowed my body to lay back into the soft mattress, unable to sit upright any longer. I’d slept a solid six hours, yet I still felt like I’d just closed my eyes moments ago.
“Of course, she hates me. I didn’t tell her. I should have. She’s my best friend Elias. I’ve never had...I’ve never been friends with a female shifter like her. You know how the other females are at Knightwood. Intolerable, selfish, gossip girls who would sell their bodies with the snap of their fingers for popularity and fame. Mako isn’t like that. She’s so different and unique...I love that about her. Yet, I couldn’t even be honest with her. How about if she doesn’t—” Eli began before I cut her off.
“She’s going to live EliaseAnne. She isn’t going to leave us. She can’t...Mako is stronger than this. So is Midnight. They won’t succumb to this. The Starlight gods wouldn’t take her away from us. We just have to have faith...okay?”
I couldn’t stop the pain from flowing into my mind at my declaration. I couldn’t even think of Mako not being by our side now that we experienced the liveliest two months in her presence. She was the fresh air we all needed.
“Okay...sorry,” she apologized softly.
I closed my eyes as I laid my arm across my face. Fuck, I don’t want to be alone right now.
Ever since waking up to the chemical rich, hospital smelling, medical center, my anxiety and fear of being alone in a room came back in full force. I didn’t want to bother the others; all of them dealt with their own problems in our current situation, but I was scared shitless.
Switching to EliaseAnne only heightened my fears – her reactions to being in this environment for too long were far more physical.
She couldn’t last longer than fifteen minutes till her breathing would elevate; her anxiety increased as her hands shook. It wouldn’t be long till she went into panic mode and that was draining for both of us.
Marcus truly understood what I was going though. I couldn’t help but remember all the times during our younger cycles where he’d leave his door unlocked, knowing I’d barge into his bed an hour after bed time. He didn’t mind in the least, always leaving a spare blanket at the edge of the bed.
Now that my issues had resurfaced, he didn’t mind me sharing his bed. I was blessed to have him as my best friend, along with the other three knights.
We all didn’t understand or know what the Starlight gods had in store for us, but I knew we all were thankful for each other’s presence. We all contributed in some way in our little group dynamic. Mako fit perfectly within our circle – the leader of our pack.
“You want to go see her?” I asked softly.
I hated entering that sterile environment, its purpose to simply induce nightmares and unwanted memories, but if it was for Mako, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
“Yes...are you sure though? I hate that place, but I miss her,” Eli questioned; her soft admission made my heart ache.
I couldn’t handle Eli being sad. We’d gone through so much shit in the past, especially with our family. I wanted her to be happy and enjoy life now that we were out of my father’s clutches, but some days were harder than others. I’d do anything to please her and help us enjoy the new life we were privileged in receiving, thanks to the gods.
“It’s fine. Why don’t we give Marcus a few more moments with her and then we’ll go see her?” I suggested. I figured Marcus probably hadn’t awakened much earlier than me, so I wanted him to have a bit more time.
“Elias, you okay?”
I couldn’t stop the smile that formed on my face as the low, alto voice entered our knight bond. Speak of the devil.
“Ya, I’m fine. Um...” I struggled for words as I held my tongue. I didn’t want to intrude on his alone time with Makoto. We all took turns watching her, each of us needed a moment to pray and allow the sound of the pulse monitor to soothe our anxieties.
“Come here.” I sighed in relief at his approval. He understood me and Eli well, just as Daniel understood Ryder.
“You both better promise to sleep later or I’ll ban you from seeing the Princess.” Kai’s voice entered my mind.
I felt myself shoot up, swinging my legs to land on the ground before rushing over to the lower drawer, pulling it open to retrieve my set of spare clothes. I always had a few sets of clothes in Marcus’ room for when I randomly slept over.
“Yes, Sir Kai. We’ll make sure to rest cause none of us want to lose our visitation rights,” Marcus acknowledged.
“How’s Daniel?” I questioned.
“Sleeping like a log after working his ass off in the training centre, again. He’s pushing himself. I’m worried,” Kai admitted.
“It’s a good stress reliever right now. Maybe if it gets to a point where it’s taking a negative toll on his body, we’ll talk to him. But, for now, let’s leave him alone,” Marcus suggested.
I shook my head as I slipped my dark grey sweat pants on before pulling the dark, mustard coloured shir
t over my head. I took a moment to calm myself, feeling afraid of leaving the secure walls to walk through the empty castle towards the ward.
“Mewwwwwwww.”
I turned my head to the sound; my eyes landed on the ball of white fur sitting in front of the door; her multiple tails wagged from side to side as she sat patiently.
“Sometimes I question if what Mako said about you is true. You being a Starlight god and all.” I whispered more to myself than to the foxshier familiar at the doorway, unable to stop the smirk that formed on my lips.
I could already feel a wave of calm go through me as my mind recognized I wouldn’t be walking through those dark halls alone. Having a companion is nice, especially if she is a Starlight god.
“Mew Mewwww.” She jumped in place before tilting her head to the side. She clearly was asking me what was taking me so long.
“Ya, I’m coming,” I replied to the impatient familiar, making my way to the doorway.
“Let’s go see our princess, shall we?”
I sat next to Mako’s bed; Marcus had left to go for a run. He said he wanted me to have a bit of alone time before Kai forced us to leave. I sometimes despised that phoenix shifter.
I don’t know where he got all his energy from. He was like Ryder, except he could literally function on two hours of sleep every day for an entire cycle and not lose his shit. He always had to make sure the group got enough rest.
I turned my attention to our sleeping beauty; my hand in hers. I stood up, leaning over to kiss her lips gently, before pressing my forehead against hers.
She became warmer each day; her breathing became stronger. I just wanted her to open her eyes, so I could get a glimpse of those turquoise irises that projected kindness and love.
“Mako babe, I beg you. Don’t let the darkness win. You’re strong, both you and Midnight can fight this. Come back to us, won’t you? I’ll make your favourite blueberry pancakes,” I whispered.
I could feel Eli brush against my mind; her sorrow made it even harder to stay composed. Nightmare raised her head; her small, furry body snuggled against Mako’s neck. She stared at me quietly. I smiled, petting her head gently before sitting back down.
I had to be strong for her. By the Starlight gods, she will make it...
“Mako babe, I beg you. Don’t let the darkness win.
You’re strong, both you and Midnight can fight this.
Come back to us, won’t you?
I’ll make your favourite blueberry pancakes.”
I wanted to scream, but I had no voice.
Why were these voices asking me to do something I wasn’t capable of?
The darkness was winning.
Winning what?
If this was a fight, I surely was losing.
I had no weapon to defend myself.
Chapter Three
Where were my spirits?
I missed their voices.
I don’t want to fight this battle any longer.
I’m tired of being alone.
I’m scared I’ll never find my way back home.
Help me.
~RYDER~
“He’s a pain in the ass, that’s what he is.”
I rolled my eyes as I turned the corner, the medical center in sight. I had passed out after my mini breakdown in front of the guys, the multiple emotions plus the lack of sleep finally took its toll on me. I guess I was happy I fainted in front of them and not in the hall or anywhere near the maids and guards. That would have been more of a pain in the ass.
I’d slept for a solid twenty hours, before I was stirred awake by Marcus’ snoring. I still couldn’t understand how anyone could sleep next to him without a sound bubble spell around them. I seriously commended Elias’ and Mako’s perseverance.
Apparently, Matthew had watched me till an hour before, Marcus took his place, so he could get some rest. I was thankful to have gotten some much-needed rest, but it didn’t help get rid of the anxiety I had. Mako was still in a coma.
Now, I headed back to stay by her side for as long as Kai would let me. I swear to Starlight, he was so stubborn, reminded me of our Firefly.
I walked into the medical room, nodding my head to the blonde nurse that was making her way out, her stethoscope around her neck as she carried a clipboard in hand. She probably came to check Mako’s vitals for rounds. It was seven in the evening, the usual time for the night shift to switch over and do their final rounds for the night.
The medical team was personally chosen by Karen herself – knights of higher rank who’d she entrusted with the secret that Makoto was Rosalina, Princess of Heila. They swore to not tell a soul and secured that section of the medical centre for our group only.
I noticed Eli sat in our designated spot; her hands fiddled with a needle and thread.
“What are you making?” I questioned, bending down to press my lips gently on Mako’s head, greeting her softly, before making my way to the curly blonde who worked on some crafting, multiple coloured beads on the side table.
“I’m making Mako a friendship bracelet. I bet she never got one when she was young, so I’ll make her an adult one. See, isn’t it pretty?” EliaseAnne raised her hands to reveal the dangling string filled with multi-coloured beads.
I noticed the pink stone-like cubes with letter engraving – the letters spelled out MAKOTO. The surrounding beads varied in colour, some of them being connected to one another while others held different charms – a carton of milk being one of them.
I smiled, an image of Mako’s gleeful smile as she jumped in place over the small bracelet warmed my heart.
“She’s going to love it,” I complimented.
Eli gave me a weak smile before standing up, placing the unfinished bracelet onto the side table.
“I’m gonna get some fresh air. I think I’ve reached my threshold and need to walk around. I’ll be back in a little while.” She grasped Mako’s hand, raised it up to kiss the back of her palm, before making her way out the room.
I was really proud of her for lasting so long. Kai had informed me she had been quietly sitting at Mako’s side for six hours, covering him and the others as they went to give Matthew and the headmaster an update.
Matthew said the headmaster looked like he’d lose his shit. He was frightened. If news got back to Heila of what had occurred at his school exam, a place which was ranked as safe; I bet King Arthur wouldn’t even hesitate in cutting off all funding. It was thanks to Realm Eight, that Knightwood was progressing as it was. I don’t think the King or Queen would like to find out their daughter, who had just been rescued, almost fell back into her kidnapper’s hands.
I allowed myself to sit in the white, wooden chair; my hand automatically reached out to hold hers as I watched her chest rise and fall. Her complexion had returned to its normal, pale-like shade, her red lips soft and smooth.
Eli wouldn’t let anyone touch her when it came to personal care, making sure to bathe her, and comb out any knots or tangles from her ever-growing brown hair.
The only thing Eli allowed us to do was apply lip balm on her lips, so they wouldn’t be dry and cracked.
Apparently, we kiss her too often, so it was now a part of our responsibilities to make sure her lips were in kissing condition. I guess she did have a point.
I felt Stryker nudge into my mind. It felt nice to have his company, his emotions more reserved today.
“How are you feeling?” he questioned; his voice filled with concern.
“Relax, I’m fine, seriously. All of you worry too much.” It felt weird for my demon to show so much emotion. I knew he cared dearly for me, but he wasn’t the type to show it. I guess it takes me passing out to get some love and compassion.
“You slept too long,” he commented.
“Blame Daniel. I bet my spirit, he probably snuck in and sprinkled some of that sleep magic to make sure I didn’t wake up till my body was ready.” I frowned as I allowed my other hand to flow through my hair. I had taken one glan
ce at the mirror before leaving my sleeping quarters and I wasn’t impressed. I seriously needed to shave. I didn’t want to grow a beard. It simply didn’t suit me.
“Don’t bet me on anything....you’re probably right though. Azriel is a sneaky asshole.”
I laughed at his comment. “Please, you guys are best buddies. If only you two would get past your differences and share your opinions like civil spirits, you wouldn’t be at each other’s throats.”
Myself and Daniel loved hearing about how our spirits hated each other during training sessions when we were younger. It was literally a battle between cats and dogs, as the people from Earthala like to say. I get they were opposites, darkness versus light, but we both knew they could get along if they truly wanted to.
But nope, that would apparently be categorized as a sin if Azriel accepted Stryker and tried to be nice to him. From Stryker’s point of view, he didn’t give a shit. Regardless of their differences, I knew they had good intentions for one another. If it came down to one of them being in a sticky situation, the other wouldn’t hesitate to help out.
“Ryder...any word on Rose and the others?” he asked quietly; his voice sounded hesitant. I knew he was worried sick about Rose.
Spirits didn’t believe in the social morals of meeting and learning about an individual before pursuing companionship. If they felt a connection then they pursued it, not allowing morals to hinder them.
“No. I checked with the nurses and Karen. No changes. They completed multiple brain scans, but they can’t detect anything. Nothing significant is present. Her magic is recovering at a slow pace, and it’s getting stronger every hour. It shouldn’t be long till it is at a stable state. Karen thinks once that happens, she’ll wake up, and we’ll have a better idea of what’s going on. Hopefully, that light show was part of the plan,” I explained as I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.
During the battle with King Aspen, Mako had somehow created rays of light in resemblance to our spirits. While her dragon hid in the cave, five rays of light were released from her.
Tainted Rose (The Starlight Gods Series Book 2) Page 4
