I opened my mouth, attempting to find the words – anything to express how sorry I was for what had happened during the exams.
I should have known better, knowing the Owner for sixteen cycles; long enough to know his underhanded tactics.
Instead of words, a tear rolled down my cheek, followed by another. Within seconds, the tears flowed uncontrollably as I stared at him, unable to hide my feelings of distress any longer.
“Elias...” I cried, the sobs escaped me as I kneeled there in the cushion like grass, surrounded by the hollow trees.
I could feel the darkness that had claimed me during my weeks of unconsciousness; the tendrils of agonizing cold and loneliness took over.
It was as if it didn’t want to leave my soul, wrapping its icy fingers around me – always reminding me that I am nothing but a tainted rose that would never achieve its once perfect image.
Guilt weighed me – like a heavy burden placed upon my shoulders for me to bear alone. I still feared the Owner would return once more; unable to anticipate what his next actions were and who’d be his next victim.
I didn’t want to be plagued by such feelings any longer; needing to stand on my own feet instead of being babied. But, I struggled to get past this.
He swore under his breath, crawling toward me and pulling me into his arms. “Mako babe, stop. It’s okay, I’m fine,” he urged as he cradled me in his arms, rocking back and forth.
“It’s my fault. It’s always my fault. Everyone who comes close to me dies or gets hurt. Why would you want to be around someone like me? Someone as tainted as me? How am I supposed to lead you away from the darkness when it’s within me? I don’t deserve such status. What if you had died Elias? You and Eli and you didn’t even tell me!” I cried through sobs as I pulled away to pound against his chest with my fist. I’d trusted him with my secret of Midnight, yet he couldn’t even trust me with his?
“Mako it’s not like that! I was going to tell you, but with the exams and you already dealing with so much...I didn’t want to burden you. I wanted you to be focused on the tasks that were already in front of you; you didn’t need another distraction,” he argued. His hands grasped my wrists, preventing me from continuing my hammering against his broad chest.
“Burden me! This doesn’t have anything to do with that! I want you to TRUST ME! You guys carry my baggage every day, yet I can’t be told that my best friend is your spirit! You know how embarrassing it is? How hurt I feel that every day you lied to my face! The others didn’t tell me either! ALL of you were okay with lying to me and keeping such an important secret from me because you thought it would be a BURDEN!” I yelled. I pulled my wrists out of his grasp, standing on my wobbly feet, turning to walk away.
“Makoto!” He yelled after me, his footsteps rushing towards me.
I clenched my fist as power grew within me; my anger and rage contributed to its growth. It pulsed within my body wanting an escape, to be free to wreak havoc.
“Stay away from me!” I ordered, walking even faster.
The breeze around us picked up as I felt the power seep from within. It began to lash around me as the leaves circled me, making me stop in my tracks. I turned and stood before him in the eye of a cyclone. The emotions poured out of me like water from a faucet, yet there was no way to turn it off. I couldn’t keep it trapped inside of me any longer. The anger and fear cut through me with precision and more than anything; I just wanted, needed, to know where I stood in this new life.
If they couldn’t trust me with something so important, what would happen in the future?
“Mako! Stop! Karen said no magic!” he roared.
I ignored him, my breathing became rapid and my heart raced. Just leave me alone...just let the darkness take me. At least I’d know I’m alone.
The wind stream of air created a barrier around me. I heard pounding against the barricade I created as I crouched down to my knees; my hands pressed against my ears as I began to hyperventilate.
I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve to be here. There must be a mistake. Yes, I’m a mistake...I should have just disappeared with the darkness, I should have faded away. Disappear...yes; melt away from everything...no one would care. No one would notice. I’m nobody.
I tried to continue accepting my fate, when warm hands slid against my cheeks.
I opened my tear-filled eyes, my frantic exhales continued as I stared at Eli, only she was different.
Her hair glowed, floating gently in the air, the high-speed winds that encased us having no effect on its dazzling appearance. Her eyes shone a lime green, as emerald coloured markings began to surface along the left side of her face, trailing down her neck. The most eye-catching feature was her large, translucent, multi-coloured wings that glittered to life.
I stared at her with wide eyes; her expression softened. I could see her eyes water as she swallowed. She pressed her forehead against mine before she began speaking, her soft-spoken voice triggered goosebumps.
“Makoto. I’m sorry. I should have told you. It’s okay for you to be mad. I deserve it...we all deserve it. You have every right to feel disappointed in us. We were appointed to you as your Star Knights and had every intention to be truthful to you. We all just assumed it would be best not to tell you because we didn’t believe you would be able to handle it when you were already trying so hard to adjust to everything around you. I speak for the others, as well as Elias. We’re sorry. We should have trusted you, our princess, and had more faith in you. If you don’t want to see me again, simply say the words and I’ll disappear.”
I allowed her words to sink into my frazzled brain, the immense anger raging with in me dissipated; the wind barrier around us faded away as the air shifted back to a breeze and then slowed down to a stop. The multiple leaves gathered in the aftermath, fell around us. A world...without Eli?
I frowned; a new set of tears formed in my eyes at the simple thought of my best friend leaving me. I felt the weird sensation, sadness flooded my mind. Midnight didn’t approve of this either.
“Don’t go...” I whispered, biting my lip. She smiled, a tear rolled down her cheek.
“You don’t need to forgive us now. But know you aren’t a mistake Makoto Heart. You are our light, our sweet Firefly with a heart of gold. You helped us find the path of light when we were surrounded by darkness. The emptiness we all once felt, the void that lingered within us as days passed, unable to live out our roles as your knights are now filled. Please, don’t ever think of yourself as nothing. We need you...I need you.”
I nodded, unable to argue with anything she had said. I didn’t know what was going on with me, but I just wanted everything to be normal between us again, to be able to face her without feeling so negative.
She hugged me; my body relaxed as I felt the remaining feelings of anxiety and anger release, leaving behind a wave of exhaustion to take its place. I moaned as I tried to fight the spinning sensation that attacked my senses. I needed to at least say this.
“I’m sorry...EliaseAnne. I forgive you,” I whispered against her chest.
My conscious faded away; my body unable to fight the weakness and ongoing dizziness that assaulted my mind.
~ELIAS~
“Fuck, is she okay?”
I walked out of the forest, Daniel running towards me. I noticed Kai’s ginger hair as he emerged from the gate, frowning as his eyes landed on the sleeping princess in my arms.
“She’s okay.” I reassured the angel shifter as I reached him.
His eyes glowed; the golden light emerged to life as his eyes scanned her from head to toe. He sighed in relief but was still frowning when his eyes returned to normal.
“What happened? And why do I sense magic radiating off her?” Daniel demanded, not impressed with his discovery.
I sighed, ignoring him as I started walking again, heading towards Kai, who was holding the gate. I nodded to him thanks before making my way to the door.
I called upon the wind elemen
t, summoning its soft waves to push gently against the door as I said an incantation, the door unlocking without any struggle.
It opened slowly, allowing me to walk into the house. I headed for the black, three-seater, suede sofa and lowered Makoto into the soft cushions. She didn’t even stir; her body sank into the material as she continued to breathe softly.
Kai walked to my side, taking a moment to assess Mako; his hand brushed away the strands of brown hair lingering on her oval face. His eye emitted a soft amber glow, and my body grew tense.
Kai’s phoenix didn’t make many appearances for multiple reasons; his inability to control his temper being the primary one. When you looked at Kai’s usual calm nature, you would never guess his spirit to be the complete opposite of him.
Kai was cool and collective, his phoenix – wild and in desperate need of anger management classes. It was easy to relate to him when we were younger; both of us dealt with our anger issues together. He wasn’t as comforting as Marcus, but it was fun to release our anger in the form of training during our childhood and teen cycles.
“She broke down and used magic.” He stated the words as fact instead of a question. I needed a moment to collect myself, trying not to snap at my fellow knights for stating the facts; the fear of their scrutinizing stares and remarks, fell upon my shoulders.
“Fuck, I don’t know what happened when she was in a coma, but it had a big effect on her emotionally. She blames herself for the scar on my chest and doesn’t want to forgive herself for putting us all in danger. She got mad that I didn’t tell her about Eli, that none of us told her. We basically didn’t trust her, and that simple thought hurt her. She got angry and her magic reacted to her immense desire to shield herself. She summoned a wind funnel, hiding within it to protect herself from everything. Eli shifted to her fairy form to calm her down and apologized. She accepted it and fainted out of exhaustion.” I gave them the cliff notes version…it was all they needed. They didn’t need to know about the guilt I felt now staring at her, or the way Eli had died a little on the inside at the thought that she could never love or have Mako and Midnight the way I could.
I walked to the opposite sofa; my body dropped into its soft cushions. I allowed my hands to flow through my ash blonde locks in frustration. It was hard enough having the ability to feel her emotions, the wrath of the twister of emotions hit me like falling bricks upon touching her, partnered up with Eli’s internal thoughts and emotions, was pushing me to a breaking point.
I felt a hand drop on my shoulder, a wave of calm flowed through me. I opened my eyes, glancing up to see Marcus staring down at me; his sapphire eyes glowed softly as the markings on his exposed chest glowed. I smiled, thankful for his calming ability. You would never expect a dragon shifter to have such a talent. Ryder and Daniel walked up to stand next to Kai.
“We just finished talking with Matthew. You can explain in detail what happened in a moment, but we’re going to need your help,” Marcus confessed; his voice stern and serious. I didn’t like the sound of his voice. When Marcus’ expressed seriousness, it only emphasized that something was wrong.
I sat patiently, waiting for him to continue as I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.
“Mako’s faint spells…they aren’t simply because of her body attempting to recover from surpassing her magic limit,” he proposed.
Kai and Daniel both turned to glance at the dragon shifter, confusion morphed onto their faces. Ryder made his way to the bookshelf, leaning against it. Oh no, bad sign.
“If it’s not that, why does she keep switching in and out?” Daniel questioned.
Ryder crossed his arms with a stern look in his darkened eyes.
Marcus turned himself to face all of us. “Midnight isn’t a split personality. She’s a spirit.”
Chapter Seven
~RYDER~
“I swear to Starlight, I hate that greedy, self-centered headmaster. I’ve never seen someone so consumed by the change in his pocket. How can King Arthur deal with him?”
Marcus and I had just finished our meeting with the Headmaster. Thanks to him, I was currently on campus instead of being by Mako’s side like I promised.
He requested an update on Mako’s condition, aka, ‘tell me if the big fat direct deposit that goes into my account every rotation is going to get cut thanks to my pathetic protection capabilities.’ Nope, he had to hear it from me, the leader of our group, as Matthew’s daily check-ins with him didn’t mean shit.
“Honestly, I can’t wait for us to leave this place and go back to Heila. We get treated with respect and dignity. Not over here where these professors think they’re better than us. You do realize the headmaster only speaks so kindly to you cause he’s sucking up, right? You should see the way he talks to me and the others. We’d be lucky for him to rotate in his chair to face us,” Marcus complained; his hand reached up to remove the hair tie holding up the neat man bun; the caramel strands of hair scattered down his back.
His hair was even longer than when we first found Mako, going past its usual mid bicep length to surpassing his elbow.
With everything that had been going on the last two weeks with Mako being in a coma, we all needed a good clean up and I’d spent a few hours prior to this useless meeting, cleaning up my appearance.
It was worth the look on Mako’s face when she saw me.
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my lips as Mako’s vibrant turquoise eyes lifted up from the new e-reader Marcus bought her, taking a moment to stare at my clean-shaven face and quick haircut. She practically threw the e-reader to the side, stretching her arms out.
“Come here sexy,” she purred, and her eyes softened as she smiled seductively. I didn’t know my legs could move as fast as they did. Within a second, I was in her arms, kissing her as those soft fingertips caressed my smooth skin.
“You like it now?” I asked, wanting to hear her approval once more.
She pulled back, staring into my eyes for a moment. “I approve. Muuuucchh better than before. You looked like a cave man,” she admitted happily; her hand gliding through my new hairdo.
“A caveman, really? How about Marcus? His hair has grown longer, and he has a beard too.” I couldn’t help but point out Marcus’ new look. His long, brown locks didn’t change too much of his appearance, but the newly grown beard made a dramatic difference. I thought his popularity would have calmed down with the female shifters, but it only escalated.
Whenever he returned from Knightwood after giving the headmaster a report, he’d have a frustrated look on his face, a bunch of confession letters and gifts in his hands. With a loud groan, he’d walk straight to the garbage bin, throwing them all out with not even a pinch of remorse. Our poor dragon knight and his attractiveness.
Mako tilted her head to the side; her plump lips pressed together as she took a moment to think about my protest.
“Marcus looks hot with or without hair,” she replied.
“I don’t look hot with a beard?” I replied, frowning on purpose.
Her eyes widened before; she pressed her hands gently against my cheeks. “Hmm, not like you aren’t attractive...it’s just...uh...well...it doesn’t suit you,” she replied honestly, avoiding my stare.
I laughed at her embarrassment. “Mako, I love your honesty. Don’t feel shy to tell me if I look like shit,” I whispered.
“Okay. Well, if we’re going to be honest then yes, you looked horrible.” She laughed as I shook my head.
My hands slid down to her stomach.
She froze; her jaw dropped as her eyes went wide. “Don’t. You. Dare,” she warned.
I grinned before I began my tickle raid. She shrieked; laughter escaped her as she tried to wiggle away from me in the queen-size bed, which felt small with both of us in it.
“Stop! I surrender. You’re hotter than the sun, hehe, Ryder!” she begged, tears of joy formed in her eyes.
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into an embrace. “
That sounds better. It’s about time you admit I am the hotter one. The sun can’t even stop my sex appeal,” I boasted.
“Don’t get cocky. Or the sun may get jealous and burn you.” She relaxed in my embrace, reaching out to retrieve her e-reader.
“Hmm, if that’s what you want Princess. The sun should be jealous; I get to hold the universe in my arms while he only gets the sky above. I think I have the better bargain.” I whispered against her flesh before pressing my lips against the sensitive spot on her neck.
She moaned; her back arched slightly as she tilted her head. “When were...you such a romantic? Mhm...stop distracting,” she commanded, but her body froze in place as I continued kissing her.
“Always have been, but I stay true to my statement. The others would agree,” I whispered, tightening my arms around her as I rested my head on her shoulder. Her smell intoxicating.
Even now, her vanilla scent still lingered on my clothes; the scent gave me enough patience to deal with the amount of time wasted with the headmaster.
“Who’s with Mako?” I questioned as we stepped out of the building; the fresh warm air flowed past us as the sun’s bright rays attacked my vision; I lifted my hand to block it out.
“I left her beside the pond. Eli is keeping an eye on her. I don’t think Elias is ready to confront her yet,” Marcus confessed.
I sighed. I couldn’t agree more. It had already been four days, yet the tension between those two hadn’t changed a bit.
When Mako woke up, we all had our moment to hug and kiss her, thanking the Starlight gods she was finally awake and slowly recovering. Elias’ reunion with her was the shortest.
I could feel the multiple emotions going through him as he walked out of her room, frustration written all over his face. I could only imagine how EliaseAnne was feeling. I figured Mako was angry at all of us for keeping the fact that Eli was Elias’ spirit, a secret. I hadn’t even thought to tell her, thinking that Elias would reveal it to her after exams.
Tainted Rose (The Starlight Gods Series Book 2) Page 9
