by Naomi Martin
When I look at Zane, the usual stoicism is gone. I see the tightness around his eyes. His muscles are taut and anger smolders in his expression. It’s then I realize just how worried he is about Gray. How desperate he is to get him back. I never would have guessed it before. I mean, I know they’re brothers in all but blood. But seeing the concern Zane has for Gray and his desperation to get him back to us warms my heart. And makes me more determined than ever to do this.
“Right. Sorry,” Elliot says. “I’m just worried about her.”
“As am I,” Zane says. “But she’s far stronger than you give her credit for. She will be fine.”
Elliot nods and takes his seat on the bed again, hugging the pillow to his chest. He remains silent, though not even Zane’s rebuke was able to strip the worry from his face. I walk over to him and give him a long, lingering kiss and a smile.
“I’ll be all right,” I say. “I promise you.”
I take a couple of minutes to get myself ready; I drink a little more water and focus on my breathing. And when I’m ready, I sit down in the chair. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on our bond. I find Gray’s beacon, burning bright and strong. Then I channel a weave of Spirit and slip it into the beacon.
I’m suddenly surrounded by crumbling concrete walls. It looks like Gray is in some derelict building. I feel his fear through our bond. I hadn’t felt anything when I shared Zane’s bond—but then, he is a master at concealing his feelings, so perhaps I shouldn’t be too surprised.
But with Gray, I’m overwhelmed by raw fear that borders on panic. I feel confusion. I feel pain. And a grief so deep, it sears my very soul.
“Where are you, Gray?”
His gaze sweeps the room, that feeling of confusion in him only deepening. Had he heard me? Could he hear my voice? I feel a bright shock of confusion shoot through him as he continues looking around the room. It’s desolate. An empty room full of trash and broken concrete.
An idea forms in my own mind, and I channel a little more Spirit into the beacon. Gray’s confusion deepens, his fear ratcheting up. He seems to be in fight or flight mode… and teetering on the edge of flight.
“Gray,” I say to him. “Gray, can you hear me?”
His gaze sweeps the room again and that feeling of panic fills the bond between us. Then he’s moving, and the jerky up and down sway of his body is disorienting. I feel my own stomach lurch and have to fight off the waves of nausea that are threatening to swamp me.
“Gray, we’re coming for you,” I croak. “I need to know where you are. Show me where you are.”
He runs to a doorway and looks out at street beyond. It’s mostly deserted, the buildings I see run down and derelict. I feel his rage, so consuming and deep, it’s terrifying. I feel his confusion. Fear is coursing through him in a raging torrent, and he’s acting like a cornered animal. Hunted. Scared.
“Please, Gray,” I say. “Try to calm down. There’s no need to be scared. We’re coming for you. We won’t let anybody hurt you.”
His vision swings from the left to the right again and lands on a sign across the street from the building he’s in. Though it’s old and dusty, I recognize a crescent moon with a diamond in the center. Some of the letters are gone, but I can make out enough to see it was called Lunar Imports.
“I love you, Gray,” I say. “We love you. Just sit tight. We’re coming for you, baby.”
Reluctantly, I cut the weave and snap back into my own head. My stomach roils and a thick, greasy feeling fills my body. I lean forward and then Elliot is there, holding the trash can for me. Zane is on the other side, holding my hair as I vomit. I retch for what feels like hours, emptying my stomach of everything I’ve eaten in probably the past ten years.
I shudder and Elliot is pressing a cool, damp towel to my face as Zane strokes my back. When I’m able to sit up, Elliot hands me a glass of water that I drink down. Then, I take another. And a third. I worry when I feel a quiver pass through me, fearing it’s all about to come up again, but it stays down.
I look up at my boys, a trembling smile crossing my lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”
Elliot smirks. “Yeah, me either.”
I get to my feet, my legs shaky. Zane helps keep me upright. I look at them both and give them a firm nod.
“Let’s go get our boy,” I say.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Gray
I shift back into my human form, fear coursing through every cell in my body. Closing my eyes, I press my hands to my head, trying to shut out the parade of images that scrolls through my mind on an endless loop: explosions… Raven… bodies being torn apart by dogs… Raven… a man being shot in the head… Raven…
I see her face in my mind’s eye and I feel consumed by waves of fear. And hate. I try to fight them, but they pull me down deeper. I don’t hate Raven. I love her. She’s mine and I’m hers. But when I see her face, in my head, all I want to do is tear, and slash, and destroy.
I throw my head back and let out a growl that borders on inhuman. I hear the squeak of rats and the shuffle of their feet, their tiny claws skittering across the concrete. I see their forms in the dark and launch myself at them. Snatching them both up, I clench my fist around the first, feeling a satisfying pop as it bursts in my hand. The second I slam against the wall, an explosion of viscous red chunks spraying outward from the point of impact, a crimson star on the plain concrete.
I want to leave. I keep going to the doorway, wanting out. But something makes me stay. It’s like there is a physical barrier preventing me from going across the doorway, even though it’s open, the door long torn from the hinges. When I step through it, the pain is intense. Unlike anything I’ve felt before. It forces me to retreat back inside.
The voice. Her voice. Raven. I know I heard her. I thought she was here, but I think she was in my head. Just hearing it filled me with rage. I don’t know why. I love her. She’s mine. I’m hers. I don’t hate her. Raven’s voice brings me comfort, not anger. But when I hear her voice now, I hate. I want to destroy. I want to kill.
No, no, no, no. That’s not right. I pace back and forth across the room, pulling my hair, trying to make my brain work right. Something’s wrong. How did Raven get into my head? How did she speak to me in my head? Is she evil? Is she what the Colonel said she was? Is she trying to use me? Control me? Is she trying to kill me?
No. She loves me. She wouldn’t try to kill me. She wouldn’t try to control me. So why did she tell me to stay here? Why doesn’t she want me to leave? Why is she preventing me from going? What did she do to the doorway? She’s keeping me from leaving. Why would she do that? Why would she trap me here?
Because she’s going to kill you.
The voice in my head is crystal clear. “Who is that? Who’s there?”
You can’t let her kill you. You’re too important. You have to kill her first, Gray.
“Who’s there?” I shout.
No answer. It’s the colonel. It has to be the colonel. But how is he speaking to me? How is he in my head? I beat my head against the wall, trying to shut the voices up. All of them. I don’t want to hear it. I slam my head against the concrete and feel the warm, thick trickle of blood sliding down my face.
It feels good. The pain. The blood. It feels really good. I raise my fingertips to my head and they come away red. I put my fingers into my mouth, tasting my blood. I laugh wildly, my voice echoing around the abandoned building.
Why am I here? Why am I trapped in this room?
She’s going to kill me. She’s keeping me here so she can kill me. It’s the only answer that makes any sense. She wants to kill me. Her and those other two, the vampire and the ginger. They’re all coming here to kill me. The colonel was right. They want me dead. Out of the way. They don’t love me; they never have. They’ve used me. And now they want me dead.
I can’t let them kill me. I won’t.
But they love me. I love them. Why would they kill me? A roar of out
rage and confusion bursts from my throat. Nothing makes sense. Nothing at all. I don’t understand what’s going on. I don’t know how I got here. Why I can’t leave. I don’t understand why Raven is coming to kill me. I didn’t do anything to her. I loved her. I was good to her.
I stop pacing, the sound of a car filling my ears. It stops just outside the building and I rush to the door. Even in the dying afternoon light, I can see them. All three of them, getting out of the car. Coming this way. Coming to kill me.
I sink back into the shadows. Hide. Wait for them. I shift into my bear form, my fur blending with the darkness. My eyes better able to see them in the dark.
“Gray?”
Raven’s voice. Raven coming for me. Coming to kill me. I have to kill her first.
I will kill her.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Raven
We approach the building slowly. Cautiously. The afternoon is slipping away and the sky is streaked with red and orange, but the shadows and gloom are lengthening here on the ground.
The street is lined with mostly abandoned and derelict buildings. Many of them are falling down. All of the windows have long since been busted out; same for the doors. The walls of most of the buildings have gaping holes in them. The street looks like some burned-out town from a post-apocalyptic film or something.
“You feel them?” Elliot asks, a nervous quaver in his voice.
Zane nods. “I do. There are eyes on us all over the place,” he confirms. “Probably junkies. Homeless.”
“We’ll handle them if they turn up,” I tell them.
We stand across the street from the building Gray is in. Or was. I think he’s still in there, but I won’t know for sure until we go in. I turn and look at the sign for Lunar Imports behind us, just to be certain. I let out a deep breath, trying to control the fluttering in my belly.
“Are you all right?” Zane asks.
I nod. “I’m just worried about what we’re going to find,” I say. “Something is wrong with him, I felt it through the bond. He just didn’t feel right. He was terrified. Confused.”
“Not surprising,” Elliot says. “If they had him in the Pit, there’s no telling what they did to him.”
“They couldn’t have had him that long,” I point out.
Elliot shrugs. “No telling what they’ve learned to do in the time we’ve been away,” he says. “They may have some new drive-thru, totally twisted mindfuck station now.”
“Comforting,” I say.
“But perhaps not outside the realm of possibility,” Zane adds. “Villa is bound and determined to eradicate us. After we broke out, I’d imagine he redoubled his efforts.”
“And if our theory about all of this is correct, he’s working plots on multiple fronts,” Elliot says. “He’s making a play for power.”
We all lapse into silence for a long moment. I’m dying to get in there to see Gray. To bring him home. But there’s a niggling fear in the back of my mind. When we step through that doorway, I have no idea what we’re going to find. All I know is that what I felt through our bond did not feel right. Not at all.
I’ve never known Gray to ever be on the verge of panic, or in a blind rage before. I don’t know what they did to him, but we need to get in there and find out. Whatever they did to him, we can fix it. We have to be able to fix it. If they used Spirit to manipulate his mind, we can use Spirit to undo whatever they did. What has been done can be undone.
I’m learning new things about my abilities almost every day now, it seems. Surely, if there is something wrong with Gray—if they somehow altered or tampered with his mind—it will just take a little time, study, and experimentation to fix it. We can use Spirit in more ways than I ever imagined before. Surely, it can be used to fix that which has been broken.
I have to believe that.
Of course, the preference is there is nothing wrong with him at all to begin with. It’s possible that he’s simply being cautious. Maybe he’s hurt and is sheltering in the abandoned building just to give himself time to heal. I want to believe that, but the longer we stand out here, the less realistic it becomes. He would have scented us by now. And, if he was okay, he would have come to us.
“What do you think?” Elliot asks.
I purse my lips. “I’m fairly sure he’s in there,” I say. “Other than that, I don’t know what to think or what to expect.”
Zane nods. “He’s in there. That much is certain,” he says. “But something isn’t right. That much is also certain.”
“So, what are we going to do, then?” Elliot asks. “We can’t leave him. And I won’t fight him.”
“None of us are going to fight him,” I say. “We’re not going to hurt him. None of us.”
I cast an eye at Zane, who gives me a sly smile and a shrug. I don’t think he’d actually hurt Gray; especially not after I saw just how much he cares for him. But still, I needed to throw that out there. Just in case.
“Okay, let’s go to him,” I say. “Just… watch yourselves. Be careful.”
We cross the street and, as we approach the shattered doorway, a low, deep rumbling rolls out of the darkened building like thunder rolling across an open field. It sends a chill along my spine and makes goosebumps stand out on my arms. I glance at Zane and I see the tightness around his eyes, the firm set of his jaw. Elliot looks grim. Determined.
I stop just outside the doorway. “Gray?”
I swallow hard, my heart hammering a wild rhythm inside of me. The three of us exchange looks and I clench my fists. I won’t let my fear consume me. I won’t let it keep me from saving the man I love. I can master my fear. I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from trembling. I’m only half-successful.
“You guys stay here,” I say.
“No,” Zane says.
“What he said,” Elliot adds.
“I’m serious. He’s not going to hurt me,” I tell them. “But if he sees all of us coming down on him, it might freak him out. He’s obviously not quite right at the moment.”
“All the more reason for us to come in with you,” Zane says.
“I can handle him myself.”
“No,” Zane repeats.
“Zane, I’m serious,” I insist, my eyes narrowed and burning. “I got this.”
He clenches his jaw, but he gives me a curt nod. As if I needed his permission or he could keep me from doing this even if he’d wanted to. And I think he knows that.
“I’m going to be right out here,” he says. “And if I hear anything amiss, I’m coming in.”
“Be careful, Raven,” Elliot says, his voice thick with concern.
I turn and step through the doorway, my heart jumping into my throat and the knot in my stomach pulling tight. I walk down the three steps into the inky gloom inside and channel a ball of fire, holding it in my hand to give me some light. The flames glint off something in the far corner of the room. It takes me a moment to realize it’s eyeshine.
“Gray?” I call. “I’m here, baby. I’m here for you.”
The bear steps out of the shadows and I swallow hard. He’s massive. Muscles rippling beneath his fur, the whisper of violence in his every movement. He turns his eyes to me, his mouth falling open to reveal his long, sharp teeth.
“Why are you shifted?” I call, cringing at the waver in my voice. “I’m so relieved we found you, Gray. Can you shift back into your human form for me?”
He growls low, the sound gruff and menacing. My heart is beating hard and I hear it pounding in my ears, fear searing my every nerve ending. Gray steps forward and I have to fight the urge to turn and run. He rises up on his hind legs and lets out a roar that shakes the very bones in my body.
Gray drops back down onto all fours and charges. I let out a sharp scream as I watch him come barreling straight for me. I see him from the corner of my eye a moment before he hits Gray from the side. Zane is moving so fast, he’s a blur of motion. Gray tumbles, rolling on his side, and lets out a mighty roar.
But he’s back on his feet in a heartbeat, and the next time Zane darts in, Gray is ready. He lashes out with one of his massive paws and I hear Zane grunt. The next thing I see is him flying across the room. He hits the wall and rebounds off of it, a dazed look on his face. Gray turns to me and bellows—and then charges me again.
I quickly channel Spirit and send the weaves out, wrapping one around his front paws and one around his rear, and yank them tight. He howls as I pull him down onto his side. He hits with a hard thump and struggles wildly, but he can’t break the bonds. I channel more power into them, strengthening the bonds.
“Zane, are you okay?”
I look over to find him getting to his feet. He smooths out his long, white hair, a look of pure annoyance on his face. He walks over to the prone bear and kicks him hard in the backside.
“We’re trying to help you,” he shouts. “Ingrate.”
“That’s enough.”
Zane looks at me. “So, if he’s refusing to shift, how are we going to get him out of here?”
“I guess I can float him on a weave of air.”
Zane smirks. “He won’t fit in that little Toyota.”
I yank on the ends of my hair in frustration. I hadn’t thought of that.
“Shit,” I mutter.
Elliot bursts into the room, breathing hard as if he’s been running. He looks around wildly, his eyes wide, a stricken look on his face.
“We’ve got a problem,” he says. “I was scouting the street. Cleansers. A lot of them. And they’re coming this way.”
“Well this day just gets better and better,” Zane cracks.
I search the room for an exit but find nothing. We’re trapped in this rat hole. Gray lets out a roar and thrashes wildly against the bonds. I channel more power into the bonds around his legs and add another one around his muzzle, silencing him, for good measure.
“Looks like they used him as bait,” Elliot said. “They knew we’d come for him.”
I run to the door and peer around the corner. I see men dropping to a knee across the street, weapons trained on the doorway. I see them in the windows of the buildings, see them taking shelter where they can find it. Elliot was right. There are a lot of them. I count at least two dozen. Maybe more. And those are only the ones I can see.
