by Amy Sumida
My men sighed deeply, bodies trembling with suppressed rage. Our argument had attracted a crowd, and they all stared at me in amazement. Froekn, Intare, and Gods; every one of them wanted blood. Sin's blood. But even though Sin had done bad things to me, he had also protected me. He killed Cephissus for me. I knew he really did love me in his own way. I remembered eating ice cream with him and watching British people bake as we laughed. I remembered when I was evil, and he still found a way to make me smile. I could banish Sin from my life, but I couldn't kill someone I'd been so close to. Yeah, maybe I was being stupid, but I had to believe there was some good left in him. He'd just fallen in love with the wrong woman.
“You're not the only one he wronged, Godhunter,” Ninkasi growled.
Ninkasi pulled her sword from its sheath, the one she'd worn into battle earlier that day; a fire sword made by the Fey. It burst into flames as she chanted the words to release its magic. Then she swung it straight toward Sin's throat.
I acted without thinking, leaping onto Ninkasi and tackling her to the ground before her blow could land. She shrieked and pushed me away before she clambered to her feet and lifted her burning sword once more. I jumped up and stood in front of Sin.
“Get out of my way!” Ninkasi snapped. “You've had your chance for revenge and passed. That doesn't mean that you can deny me mine.”
“You were friends, Ninkasi,” I reminded her gently. “Try to remember that because believe me, you will later, and you will regret killing him. His memory will haunt you forever. Is that really what you want?”
Ninkasi's jaw hardened as she stared over my shoulder at Sin, her chest heaving with anger.
“Living as an outcast will hurt Sin far more than death,” I went on. “And it has the added benefit of doing nothing to you. Don't pay for his sins, Ninkasi.”
Ninkasi closed her eyes, let out a long breath, and finally nodded. I glanced back at Sin and motioned my head toward the palace.
“Thank you,” Sin whispered to me. Then, louder, he added, “I'm so sorry, Ninka. I was a fool, thinking with my heart instead of my head. I never meant to betray you. I swear it.”
“Shut up,” Ninkasi ground out through clenched teeth as her eyes popped open furiously. “Just shut the fuck up!”
“Get out of here!” I hissed at Sin.
“Come on,” Trevor snarled as he grabbed Sin's arm and dragged him away. “Before I kill you myself.”
The crowd drew back, but there was a roiling fury riding them, and I knew Sin wouldn't make it to the palace.
“Stand down!” I shouted at the gods. “We have had our vengeance; the killing is done. Sin is a traitor, and he must live with that. If he dares to strike at us again, we will destroy him, but for now, let him be. Let him wallow in the repercussions of his actions.”
Sin's shoulders hunched more and more as I spoke, but he continued to walk the gauntlet with Trevor. Lions, wolves, and gods growled and snapped at Sin as he passed by. A few reached out to take a swipe, and the mob tensed to strike.
“You heard my daughter; stand down!” Fenrir shouted. “Let the scum live in his filth. We can always hunt him later.”
The Froekn pulled back at the command of their Valdyr, but the other gods and Intare still rumbled angrily.
“If I can suffer him to live then so can you!” I roared. “There will be no more bloodshed today!”
“Well, maybe just a little,” Trevor snarled then punched Sin in the face.
A crack resounded in the sudden silence. Blood sprayed in an arc as Sin's head turned with the blow then his body started to fall. Trevor caught Sin before he fell and slung the comatose god over his shoulder.
“Sorry, Minn Elska; it had to be done,” Trevor said flippantly.
A tremor of laughter fluttered over the gods and then became a full-blown chortle. It was the perfect comic relief; a bit of pain and embarrassment for the man who had wronged us. Trevor winked at me before he turned and carried Sin into the palace. That wily wolf. With the tension dispersed, the mob calmed and became a mere gathering again. They watched Trevor carry Sin away then went back to their revelry, murmuring with approval.
I knew I might come to regret my mercy but that's the risk you take when you decide to be a good person. You do the right thing knowing that someone else may not. It's the risk that makes your actions meaningful. Sparing Sin might bring pain for me in the future, but at this moment, it was a light warding off the darkness. Our actions define us, and I needed to prove to myself that the Dark Star was gone and was never coming back. That even in the face of betrayal, I could withstand the allure of evil. If Sin threw my kindness back in my face, well, as Fenrir said; I could always hunt him later.
As soon as Sin was gone from sight, Ninkasi dropped her burning sword and started to weep. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her. She pulled me in tightly and laid her head on my shoulder to bawl like a child.
“I'm so sorry,” I whispered to her.
Ninkasi sniffed and pulled away from me suddenly. “Fuck you, Vervain. This is all your fault. I wish you'd never met Sin. You destroyed our lives.” She turned and stormed off into Re's palace.
“What the fuck?!” Viper growled at her as she passed him.
He started to go after her, but I grabbed his bicep.
“Let her go. She's angry and hurt and has every right to both of those feelings.”
“I'm just going to make sure that she traces out of Aaru,” Re murmured as he headed after Ninkasi. “Sorry, but I'll be damned before I trust another Mesopotamian.”
The other men muttered their agreement but part of me wondered if I would have acted differently in the Mesopotamians' place. I had killed one of their main gods, nearly enslaved the rest of them, and then just walked away as if nothing happened. Marduk presented them with a plan for vengeance and a territory—something they'd wanted for a very long time. Would I have stood down if I were one of them? Would I have taken my side instead of Marduk's, as Ninkasi did? Somehow, I didn't think so.
You feel guilty, Alaric spoke into my mind.
Yes.
Good. The moment you stop sympathizing with your enemies will be the moment you stop being the woman we need to wield the Trinity Star. Keep your heart open, Vervain. Love has always been your greatest gift, even before you held the magic. That is what makes you special; your heart.
Thank you, Alaric.
You're welcome. Now, let go of your guilt and celebrate your victory. You deserve it.
“Let's get another drink,” I said to my guys. “I think it's time for a toast.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
The next morning, I woke up early. I hadn't slept well; the events of the day before kept me tossing and turning all night. I needed my home back. Then maybe I could start to heal. I crept out of bed after untangling myself from Trevor's arms and snuck downstairs. As I reached the bottom step, the scent of coffee tickled my nose and lured me into the kitchen.
Kirill was at the industrial-sized coffee pot Re had made for us with territory magic. He finished pouring a cup from the tap and then gave me a sideways smile and held it out to me. My heart did a little jump. He looked so damn good standing there in jeans and a T-shirt, his eyes still sleep-softened and hair slipping free of its braid.
“I was trying to sneak away,” I admitted as I took the cup. “But your coffee proved my undoing.”
“You're going to rebuild palace vithout us?” Kirill asked with a lifted brow as he poured another cup.
“I thought it would be nice if everyone could just trace home as if nothing had happened.” I fixed my coffee with cream and sugar and took a sip. Not as good as tea, but it would do.
“Da, zat vould be good,” he agreed and headed out to the dining room with me.
“But?”
“But you should have us vith you.” Kirill pulled out a chair for me before taking the one beside it.
“How about just you?” I bargained.
“You don't zink Vip
er vould vant to see you rebuild a palace vith only magic?” He countered. “And vhat about Luke and Intare? Vhat about God Squad and Froekn? Zey don't get to see such zings often.”
“Damn it, Kirill,” I whined. “You're ruining my plan.”
“Better zan you coming back here to find disappointed family.”
“Fair enough,” I conceded.
“Good. Now, drink coffee. I make breakfast. Lesya vill be awake soon.”
I sat back and watched Kirill head into the kitchen, smiling at the way he liked to take care of me and what a good father he was. But I couldn't stay put. Not when I could be in the kitchen with him. I got up and went back into the kitchen to lean against a counter and steal bites of food while Kirill cooked. We laughed and talked and teased each other until that tight knot in my chest eased open and I started to let go of Sin's betrayal. That's when I knew I had done the right thing. If I had killed Sin, I wouldn't be able to let go of the pain so easily. I would have spent weeks wallowing in memories of him. Just as I told Ninkasi, Sin would have haunted me if I had killed him. Letting him go had freed us both.
Fifteen minutes later, Trevor came downstairs with Vero and Lesya, and the rest of the men joined us shortly afterward. Most of our guests had gone back to their territories the night before so we texted our closest family and friends while we were eating. It was just as Kirill predicted; they all wanted to witness the restoration of Pride Palace.
After we were fed, my family and I headed over to Pride Territory. It was rough to face the destruction again, but at least we'd dealt with the bodies, burning them all to cinders before we left. If we hadn't, I would have gone back first to clean up; I didn't want my children seeing any of that. Even without the gore, Lesya, Vero, and Zariel stared sadly around themselves at the chaos that used to be their home.
“I'm going to fix it right now,” I said to them. “Just wait; you're going to love this.”
“Okay, Mama,” Lesya grinned bravely as she held her brother's hand.
“Fix it,” Vero ordered with a scowl.
I laughed as I stepped forward and closed my eyes. I had a large audience; the Intare were all there, of course, but there were also the Froekn, the God Squad, the Horsemen, and Luke. The Devil had even brought a date—his wife Holly—and Fenrir had brought Emma. Oh, and Pan had brought a plus-one too; Athena. He was hoping it might make up for her being left out of the battle with the Finnish Gods.
I reached for the magic of my territory and then commanded it to be what it once was. I pictured my home in vivid detail. I saw the grasslands full of African animals and Trevor's cabin in the valley. The farm with its livestock and Kirill's secret waterfall. I envisioned the palace in all its Cinderella glory. I saw the pool and the moat, the dragon statues posed to the sides of the veranda steps, the training yard, the lake with the longboat Odin had built me (which had miraculously survived the Mesopotamian invasion), the castle playground, the lion graveyard, and the memorial to those who had died before I became Tima. And, of course, everything within the palace that had to be left behind. I wanted it all back; every little thing.
I heard sharp intakes of breath and the delighted squeals of children, but I didn't dare lose focus. I had a feeling that if I pictured it all at once, I wouldn't have to go through each room as I had when I'd first made the palace. I knew my home now, I didn't have to build it from scratch, and that made a difference.
I saw the library and the armory. The dining hall and gym. I pictured the Common Room with all its entertainments and the butterfly garden with the immortal butterflies. I saw my bedroom suite with its little kitchen and living room. I imagined the wall of glass behind the massive bed and the view of the butterfly garden beyond. Then came the master bath with its enormous sunken bathtub. I set the towers alongside my balcony then stacked the nurseries above the balcony and between the towers. I pictured my dressing room and the suite I made for Arach and our boys. I imagined all of it whole and unharmed. I don't know how long it took me, but it was long enough that the excited murmurs died down to silence. I didn't let myself be distracted but continued to visualize and when I had it all firmly in place, I opened my eyes.
And started to cry in happiness.
“That was amazing!” Lesya clapped.
The rest of the audience took her cue and applauded. The Intare roared and shouted “Tima,” the Froekn howled, and my men drew close to hug me. I just kept crying. A small part of me had worried that I wouldn't be able to rebuild it; that something would be lost. But there it stood; our home amid the African-inspired landscape of Pride lands, exactly as it had been the day I tore it all down.
“You did good, Tima,” Kirill whispered in my ear before he kissed me.
I wrapped my arms around my black lion and kissed him back as our pride roared and our daughter giggled. I was smiling when I finally let him go, more lighthearted than I'd been in what seemed like forever. I slid into the arms of each of my men for celebratory kisses and then hugged my children.
“Pride Palace is back!” I shouted. “And we're never giving it up again!”
The Intare roared once more; a wordless expression of triumph. I looked around at my friends and family, at their joyous faces, and felt the truth of it in my bones. This place was ours, this life was ours, and even though we could do without it, we wouldn't. The next god who tried to take it from us would wind up exactly as Marduk had; a smear beneath our feet.
“Let's go home,” I said to my family, and we walked up the steps and into Pride Palace together.
Despite the details I'd put into it and the absolute certainty I had that it was exactly how we'd left it, I knew the palace wouldn't be home until my family was inside it. With those first steps across the threshold, the palace seemed to come to life, and I breathed deeply in relief. Even the smell was the same.
“Mama fixed it,” Vero said with amazement.
“Yes, Son, she did,” Trevor said to our boy as he grinned at me proudly. “Just as she always does.”
Love tingled inside my chest but it wasn't my magic; it was all me. And all them. As I had told Arach; our love could be torn apart over and over again, but just like this palace, we would rebuild it. Nothing would keep us apart for long. We were destined to be together after all. My destiny may descend into darkness, it may even shatter into nothingness again, but that wouldn't stop me. I'd find a way to fix it. For them. For all of the people I loved. Because even though I can be strong without them, I can't be me. We are bound so tightly that if you pull us apart, we spring back in a coil, bent into the shape we formed together. They have all shaped me; left their imprint on my soul. I am who I am because of them. Some may see that as a weakness, but I know the truth. It's neither strength nor weakness. It's simply a life well-lived and a heart well-loved. It's destiny.
Keep reading for a sneak peek into the next book in the Godhunter Series:
The Black Lion
Chapter One
“I have something important to ask everyone,” Kirill announced.
We were having coffee and tea in the little kitchen area of our suite on the top floor of the recently restored Pride Palace. Lesya and Vero were downstairs, playing in the mini palace with Zariel so it was only my men and me.
“What is it?” Odin asked in concern.
“Nothing bad.” Kirill held up his hand to calm everyone.
After barely surviving the Mesopotamians, we were all still a little jumpy.
“I vant to take Lesya to Russia,” Kirill looked from the men to me. “Me and Vervain. So she can see vhere I come from; her roots. I zink she's old enough now to appreciate.”
“I think that's a great idea.” I looked at the other men. “Is that okay with all of you?”
“How long were you thinking about going for?” Azrael asked.
“Maybe week, maybe two.” Kirill shrugged. “Vhat vould be okay vith all of you?”
“I think we can manage on our own for a couple of weeks,” Trevor said. “
It's not as if we need bottles anymore. You guys okay with two weeks?”
Az, Odin, Re, and Viper all nodded.
“Zank you.” Kirill's smile was glorious. “I vill make arrangements.”
“Are we going to Moscow?” I asked as he got up.
“Nyet. Saint Petersburg and maybe Aluksne, Latvia; that's where my mother was raised.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Sounds lovely.”
“I'll let you know ven I have reservations.” Kirill headed out of the room, likely to the library, where we had a few computers.
