“Well, thanks for picking me up. Chase was right—these shoes were already killing me.”
“No problem,” Zoe said. “I was running to the store, so I’ll drop you off and then go.”
“Thanks.”
By the time we got to Salishan, I had three texts from Cooper. The first was an apology and the second and third were to make sure I was home safe. I thought about waiting a few hours to reply—make him sweat a little. But he’d probably just come over and bang on my door until he could see I hadn’t been hit by a car or kidnapped by an ax murderer.
I said goodbye to Zoe and went inside my cottage. I replied to Cooper’s text to let him know I was home. He sent back a series of gifs—dancing kittens, a unicorn farting rainbows, a little girl hugging a teddy bear, a cat in a taco costume.
He made it really hard to stay mad at him.
But what was with Chase? Why the hell had he tattled on me to Cooper? He knew Cooper better than anyone. He had to have known Cooper would do something crazy if he found out I was with a guy.
The more I thought about it, the more I was angry at Chase, rather than Cooper. Chase needed to mind his own business.
Four
Chase
Country music with a surprising amount of bass bumped through the speakers. Mountainside Tavern was busy tonight. I held my pool cue, the end resting on my shoe, while Cooper took his shot. He sank the three in the corner pocket and smiled.
“I rock at this.”
“Yeah.” I eyed the table, but I was having a hard time concentrating on our game.
“We should road trip and hustle at pool bars again,” Cooper said. “We cleaned up that one time. Remember that? Fuck, I think we made a couple grand that weekend.”
“Mm hmm.” I walked around the other side to study the table from a different angle.
“Of course, there’s always the danger of getting our asses kicked. But I think we learned some valuable lessons. College bars near private schools are better than dive bars with biker dudes. It seems like that would be common sense, but it took us a while to catch on. Go figure.” He missed, then nodded to me to take my turn.
“Yeah, go figure.” I lined up a shot and took it. Missed. “Shit.”
Cooper grabbed the cue out of my hand. “Okay, buddy. Enough of this crap. You’re acting weird. You gotta talk to me, man. Get it off your chest. I know that’s kind of a chick thing, but I’m telling you, there’s a reason men die of heart attacks more than women. We bottle shit up.” He put a hand on his chest. “We keep it all in here where it slowly kills us. Let it out. Tell me what’s going on.”
That was a hard no. There was no chance in hell I was going to open up to Cooper. First off, I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong. It was like I’d suffered a head injury—one of those that permanently alters your state of mind. I couldn’t even think about Brynn without getting all twisted up inside.
Second, this was Cooper, and Brynn was… Brynn. She was so off limits, I’d be facing the death penalty just for thinking about her. And the amount of time I’d spent thinking about her over the last few days was ridiculous.
Don’t even get me started on the fantasizing. I’d whacked it to Brynn fantasies way more than was healthy. I just hoped the whole going blind thing really was an old wives’ tale. Because if it wasn’t, I could kiss my vision goodbye.
“There’s nothing going on,” I said. “Just a long week at work.”
Cooper narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t buying it. “Work? You never stress about work.”
“How would you know if I stress about work? I leave it at the shop.”
“Whatever is stressing you out, you’re not leaving it anywhere. It’s like you’re walking around with your own personal raincloud. It’s bumming me out, man.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Nothing bums you out.”
“That is not true. Lots of things bum me out. I can name at least five right now.” He started ticking them off on one hand. “Shitty things on the news, especially involving children or puppies. Hangovers. Anything that makes Zoe sad. Droughts. And you acting all broody. All those things bum me out.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t be responsible for your state of mind. If I’m bumming you out, go do something else.”
“See? This is what I’m talking about. You’re holding it all in and it’s going to eat at you until you get it out. Should I call Zoe? Do you need a woman’s perspective?”
I paused for second because that was actually tempting. Zoe might help me sort this out, and she was less likely to freak out on me. But if she let it slip that I was having dirty thoughts about Baby Brynn Miles—even if it was an accident—I’d be screwed. Roland would tell Cooper, and once Cooper knew, I’d be dead.
“No, I don’t need a woman’s perspective. You know what I need? For you to shut the hell up and leave me alone about it.”
“Fine, Jesus. I’m just trying to help, asshole.”
Good, he was calling me asshole. That meant he was about to get pouty, and pouty Cooper would probably stop talking for five or ten minutes.
“I’m getting another beer. Want one?”
He tipped his beer bottle and looked at the contents—or lack thereof. “Yeah.”
I went to the bar and ordered two more beers. Cooper stayed at the pool table and took a shot. He must have missed because he grabbed my cue and played my turn.
When I came back, two ice cold beers in hand, Cooper was wearing an enormous shit-eating grin.
I handed him his beer. “What?”
“I’m such an idiot. I know exactly what’s wrong with you. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it earlier. It’s so obvious. And so simple to fix.”
I leaned against the pool table and took a drink, waiting for him to drop his revelation on me.
“You need to get laid.”
I almost spit my beer all over him. I made a quick recovery, but it left me coughing.
“Good thing we came out tonight,” Cooper continued. “This place is crawling with hot girls. I’ve seen six in the last ten minutes who need some Cooper in their life. Who do you have your eye on? Let’s get this show on the road.”
Shit. Picking up girls was standard procedure for me and Coop. Usually it was great. We had a system, and as long as we stuck to our rules, things worked beautifully. Ordinarily, he’d have been right. Sex was a great way to get rid of a bad mood.
I scanned the bar, picking out the single girls. It was easy. Girls getting fucked on the regular had an air about them—made them look closed off. Coop and I could practically smell the other dude on them. Single girls gave off a vibe that they were available. And he was right, there were a ton of them in here tonight.
But the thought of bringing one of these random girls home with me made my stomach turn. This had never happened to me before. I didn’t understand what the fuck was wrong. Girl in the red top and tight jeans over there? Completely fuckable, and I’d bet any amount of money that she was single and looking to hook up. I could tell Coop she was the one, and chances were good I’d be fucking her before the night was over.
“Having trouble?” Cooper asked. “I know, I’ve got three I like and I can’t decide. Things are so much harder now that I have to put them through the dad test.”
That made me chuckle. Ever since Cooper found out his dad had been hiding a second family—including a half-sister he’d hit on before he found out who she was— he’d been crazy paranoid that he’d accidentally fuck a girl who was related to him. Now he asked every girl he met if she knew her father, and what his name was. The weird thing was, it was an awesome ice-breaker. Of course, Cooper could probably win a girl over with anything.
I took another swig of beer. “I don’t know if I’m feeling it tonight.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m not buying it, buddy. I bet you’re into…” He rubbed his chin while he scanned the bar. “Her. Blond hair. Red top. Ass-hugging jeans.”
She was hot, no doubt about it. P
retty hair. A little curvy. Nice tits. So why was the thought of getting her naked making me want to vomit?
Maybe I’d contracted some sort of disease. I wondered if I should Google my symptoms. Although it would probably tell me I had three months to live. Could you die from a sudden aversion to meaningless sex?
What was wrong with me? I loved sex. And I was fucking awesome at it. I wasn’t necessarily boyfriend material, but I took my sexual exploits seriously. Women never left my bed unsatisfied. It wasn’t my fault if I ruined them for other men. Everyone had talents. Multiple orgasms happened to be one of mine.
It was the mechanic in me. Once I understood how something worked, I was a genius at getting it to do what I wanted. And I understood how the female body worked very well.
But for reasons I did not understand, I knew I wasn’t bringing Hot Red Top home with me. No fucking way.
“Nah. She’s hot or whatever, but I don’t think so.”
“I like where you’re going with this,” Cooper said, poking me in the arm. “The disinterested thing works like fucking magic. Let’s do good cop, bad cop, except I’ll be eager fun guy, and you be disinterested aloof man. Hot Red Top has a friend who definitely needs me. I bet we can lock this shit down in half an hour.”
“Jesus, Cooper, I said I wasn’t into her.”
I took my beer over to an empty table and slid onto a stool. I knew I was acting weird, but I couldn’t help it. I was so fucking confused. Hot Red Top was perfect. What else did I want?
I wanted Brynn.
Fuck. No. I had to quit thinking like that. God, what the hell? I’d seen Brynn kissing a guy and suddenly I wanted her? What kind of asshole did that make me? I was acting like a damn toddler, throwing a temper tantrum over a toy. Just because some other kid had it didn’t mean I needed it.
Was that all it was? Some weird jealousy thing? If that was the case, maybe Cooper was right. Maybe I just needed a good fuck. Thanks to crazy Shelly, it had been a while.
“You know chicks totally dig the angry asshole.” Cooper slid onto the other stool. “I don’t think you’re doing this on purpose, and clearly you aren’t going to tell me what’s wrong. I’m just saying that in the last ninety seconds, since you stomped your way over here and sat down, you’ve attracted the interested attention of half the girls in here. I can definitely work with this, if this is what we’re doing tonight.”
I gave him a non-committal grunt and took another drink. The beer buzz was starting to help—relaxing me at least.
“But go take a piss already,” Cooper said. “You’re driving me nuts with your fidgeting.”
It wasn’t until I stopped moving that I realized I’d been shaking my leg. “My fidgeting is bothering you? You realize what a hypocrite you are, right?”
He shrugged. “I am who I am, buddy. You’re the one being a fucking lunatic tonight. Go take a piss.”
I was about to argue, but I did have to pee. And maybe a few minutes in the bathroom would help clear my head a little. I left my beer and headed for the restrooms in the back.
The men’s room was empty. I did my thing and washed up. Felt better, physically at least. I looked in the mirror and ran my hand through my hair. Took a deep breath.
Get your act together, Chase.
I wondered what Brynn was doing tonight. Was she out in Tilikum at the college bars? I didn’t know what she usually did on a Friday night. I doubted she’d be with the guy from the diner. Cooper had scared him off pretty good. That whole scene would have been hilarious, if not for the fact that Brynn had been so mad. The way she’d looked at me… fuck, I’d been gutted. I’d hated myself—hated that I’d done that to her. Hated that her anger had been directed at me. I didn’t want Brynn to be mad at me. I wanted her to like me.
Which was, once again, stupid and ridiculous. But there was something going on inside me that didn’t give two shits about whether it made any sense. It wasn’t toddler jealousy over another guy’s toy that was making me feel this way. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was deeper than that. Not once in my life had I been jealous over a girl. There were always more—always someone else if one was taken.
There was only one Brynn.
Something had awoken inside of me. Something primal. I couldn’t name it, let alone explain it. But it was there. Maybe if I saw her again, it would help me figure it out. I could see if I reacted to her the same way. It could be some weird head trip and she wouldn’t do anything for me. She’d be back to the little girl I’d always ignored, and I could go on with my life like nothing had happened.
Or maybe this was irreversible.
Either way, I needed to see her, at least to apologize for the other night. Cooper swore she was fine, but it wasn’t like I’d talked to her. She was probably still mad at me. I needed to find a way to make it up to her, without doing anything that would make Cooper suspicious.
I’d do something nice for her, like change the oil in her car. Who knew when she’d had it serviced last, and I could do that with my eyes closed. Just a little favor to show her I was sorry—and an excuse to get close to her again.
Having a plan made me feel better. Chances were, I’d see Brynn and wonder why I’d gone all loco over her.
I walked out of the restroom and stopped dead in my tracks. Cooper was sitting with Hot Red Top and her friend, and the sick feeling in my gut was back with a vengeance.
Fuck. How was I going to get out of this?
Because until I figured out what was wrong with me—and whether this infatuation with Brynn was just me being temporarily insane—I couldn’t bring home some random. It just wasn’t going to happen.
I ignored the pseudo-coy looks the girls gave me as I walked up to the table. “Sorry, Coop, I’m gonna head home. Headache.”
Cooper’s mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. You’d have thought I’d just told him my dick fell off. “You’re going home because of a headache?”
“Yeah.” I pulled my keys out of my pocket.
“Dude, you know the best cure for a headache is sex, right?” He turned to the girls. “Forgive my impertinence, ladies.”
Hot Red Top glanced at her friend. “I don’t think I know what that means.”
Cooper gave her a crooked grin. “Impertinence means boldness coupled with a lack of manners, in this case accompanied by an assumption of something that has yet to be established.”
“He means that he said sex and we all just met,” Hot Red Top’s friend said. She leaned closer to Cooper.
“See, she gets it,” Cooper said, smiling at her.
Yep, he was getting laid tonight.
“Yeah, that’s not… My head hurts, I’m just going to go.”
I turned before Cooper could change my mind. He was unnaturally good at getting his way. If I didn’t bail now, I’d end up hurting Hot Red Top’s feelings. I wasn’t taking her home with me, and there was no doubt those girls were looking for just that. I’d done this enough; I could tell. My reasons had nothing to do with her, but girls always thought it was about them. This way she’d assume I was sick or something, not that I was abandoning the hook-up mission before I’d closed the deal because I’d changed my mind about her.
Cooper called my name a few times as I walked away, but I pretended I couldn’t hear him over the music. I had to get out of here before I really screwed up and let slip what was on my mind.
That was the one thing I couldn’t do. Cooper could not know.
Five
Brynn
The Blackberry Cottage was a mess of boxes and bags. I’d been trying to organize, but there wasn’t anywhere to put things. The kitchenette was already fully stocked, so my kitchen stuff wasn’t needed. Neither was the bean bag chair I’d been using for a couch. My bed was newer than the one that had been here, so my mom had arranged for the old one to be taken out before I’d moved in. But there were still things I either needed to get rid of or put into storage so I could actually function in here.
On
ce I got settled, it would be perfect. It was next to the Hummingbird Cottage, which no one was using at the moment. My mom’s house was a short walk across the property—far enough that I felt like I had a bit of space, but close enough I could pop in whenever I wanted. The blackberry-themed decor was a little dated, but I loved the charm. It reminded me of my grandma.
Other than Cooper’s obnoxious interference with Kieran the other night, I hadn’t seen much of my family. I’d been busy commuting back and forth to school for classes every day. I’d be working in the tasting room here on weekends and going to school during the week. It would be busy, but I was used to it. I’d been working part-time at a café near campus before I’d moved home, so the biggest change was the hour or so of driving I had to do every day to get to and from classes. It cut into my study time, but I’d make do. It wasn’t like I had anything else going on.
Kieran hadn’t replied to my calls or texts. I’d tried to apologize, but I didn’t really blame him for ignoring me. I probably wouldn’t put up with my family if I was a guy—especially not for a short-term fling—so I didn’t expect him to. The fact that I wasn’t too disappointed was telling. It probably meant it was best that whatever had been going on between us had run its course.
Although I was still mad at Cooper and Chase.
I wasn’t starting work until next weekend, so I wanted to take advantage of the day and get some things put away. Plus I needed more food if I was going to quit relying on my mom’s fridge for sustenance. I knew she didn’t mind, but I wasn’t here to mooch off her.
But that was going to have to start tomorrow, since I didn’t have anything here.
I walked the short distance to my mom’s house. It was a huge, beautiful home, built by my grandparents. They’d meant for it to be a bed and breakfast, so it had seven bedrooms. The kitchen was enormous, it had a big fireplace, and it looked incredible decked out in Christmas lights.
My parents had raised us here. We’d lived here with my grandparents until they’d both passed away. Then it was just us. Mostly Mom and us kids, really. My dad had always been gone a lot.
Forbidden Miles Page 3
