Not with the way he was kissing me now. As if he was voracious, with a hunger only the taste of me could sate.
Now, his fingers were playing along my panty line.
Now, I pulled off his shirt. Bare-chested, it was impossible not to marvel at the grid work of muscles. As my finger traced them, he did the same with my abs, as his finger continued its slow but sure inching down.
Jeremy paused.
Our gazes caught. My finger stopped at his heart and I could feel it through his chest – beating a steady rhythm against me.
And then, everything happened at once. My mouth flew for his. All that followed was just our bodies responding to each other: tongues twisting, hands diving, feeling.
One finger toyed in and out of my waistband, as I trembled.
There was no room for thought here – only sensation responding to sensation.
I bit and lapped at his ear, groaning into it as his fingers inched down until he slipped two into my waiting wetness and I groaned.
Good. Fucking. God.
The slick feel was so damn good. He twirled his fingers in me, and I clenched for dear life. His fingers pulsed in me and I reached for his dick over his pants. His pants were off in seconds and he was staring down at me, his eyes dark with lust.
There was no chance of slowing down one bit.
Now I was back on the couch and his body was pressed up to mine, he tore at my panties until they came off and flung them across the room. Finally both naked and panting, he slid himself into me in one hard thrust.
And then the dance begun. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him in deeper. His cock continued to grow and pulse deep inside of me, wringing moans from my chest. I threw my head back and lifted my hips to meet his, losing myself in each powerful thrust.
12
Jeremy
Finally, I was inside of her – and it felt so fucking good. Tight as a custom-made glove, and the way she was groaning, arching her pelvis up for me was enough to make a guy come way too early if he wasn’t careful. Good thing I had no intention of not being careful. I wanted this to last as long as humanly possible.
So, I started out slow, a painstaking grinding into her that sent both of us shaking. Closing my eyes got me deeper into the pleasure, but opening them and seeing Blair’s slack jaw nearly drove me crazy.
She was so hot, and unexpected. She was off the charts.
We established a steady rhythm as I slowly built the pace. It was almost too good, but I forced myself to hold back. No way was I going to come before I felt Blair’s sweet pussy spasming on me.
And I wasn’t far off, judging by the feel of it. Not with the way those animalistic noises were coming out of her and her body was breaking out in tremors. Yes, we were close.
We kissed and fucked our way from one position to the next – from missionary to doggy, to legs akimbo. Until her legs were propped up on my chest and I was fucking her deep and she was shrilling for more. And more was exactly what I gave her.
Faster and harder I pounded into her, until there were no words left.. Until Blair’s form fell back, breaking out in shaking and groans. I opened my eyes to watch that. Seeing her come was as good as a stroke to my dick. Blair was so…
“Goddamn hot,” I murmured, stroking a hand across her cheek.
Her eyes fluttered open. Our gazes caught.
As I picked up my pace, this time, Blair’s pelvis met my every inward jerk with a clasp of her own.
In and out and again. Faster and tighter and deeper and tighter.
And then we rolled and we were on our sides, gasping breaths from each other, slamming our limbs together in one final desperate spasm as we came.
Afterwards, I held her in my arms and wondered vaguely how, after the best sex of my life, we were supposed to go back to normal tomorrow.
13
Blair
His lips against mine woke me up; tore me from a haze to clarity. His hands cupped my face, his body pressed into mine.
And this feeling, bubbling in my chest was a mixture of agitation, fear, pure liquid joy.
The rightness of it was unmistakable and yet…
I looked away. It was my partner I had just slept with. The man I worked with every day – and would have to continue to work with.
Suddenly, everything went cold and clammy, like some teenager’s sweaty palms running all over me. What the fuck had I been thinking?
Sitting up, Jeremy only tried once to kiss my turned-away cheek before rising.
“I’ll just hit up the bathroom,” he said.
I let him go without saying anything. What was there to say? The sex had been amazing, sure, but we worked together. It shouldn’t have happened.
Poking between my blinds were the unmistakable rays of morning sunlight. Yawning, I got up and started getting dressed.
A few minutes later, Jeremy was back and dressed as well.
He lingered for a second or so, then turned for the door. “I should get going. But Blair?”
“See you at work,” I said crisply, turning away.
No way could I look him in the eye as I used that nonchalant tone. Then I’d see whatever expression he was wearing – did he feel as awkward and upset about this as I did? – and waver.
“See ya,” he said in a cool tone, leaving.
Only once I heard the unmistakable bray of my closing front door did I allow the breath pent up in me to escape. There. That wasn’t so bad, now was it?
I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth instead of answering.
--
At work, Jeremy had a coffee for me at my desk as usual.
“Good morning,” he said, as usual.
Our eyes met, we nodded. There, it was decided then, business as usual.
Although as Noah walked by and I was forced to return his cheery wave, my arm creaked with reluctance. Pretending things were normal between ourselves was one thing – what were we going to do about the others?
14
Peter
Something was up. I’d already had my suspicions by how awkwardly Jeremy and Blair had acted when I asked them to lunch an hour or so ago. But as we went into Angie’s for lunch, there was no doubt about it. The way Blair and Jeremy’s eyes kept flitting to each other, as if they shared some unsaid secret. How even Jeremy, the perpetual jokester, wasn’t as talkative as usual. And there was, of course, the fact that he hadn’t come home the night before…
Inside Angie’s, we chose our usual booth, the one in the corner. There was an awkward moment where everyone stood, not sure who would be sitting beside who. Finally, Jeremy threw himself in, and the rest of us followed suit. And once again, his and Blair’s eyes met. Did this explain why Jeremy had been MIA the past few days?
In any case, Blair looked a hell of a lot better than she had the last time we saw her. That last time, it almost looked like she was going to keel over on the spot. I’d sent her a text too, and her response had been polite but brief. Not that I could blame her. It was tough. One of the first days on the job and you have to shoot a guy dead?
In any case, Angie’s was rattling with eager conversation, and after we made our orders, our food arrived quickly enough.
“This breakfast special is really good,” Blair said, smiling to Jeremy. The way he smirked, as if he was one who had stumbled on the place instead of me, annoyed me for some reason.
“Hey Jeremy,” I said, “Busy last night?”
Poor little brother. I could read him like a book.
Even though Jeremy’s shrug was noncommittal, it was clear as day. Mainly because of the way Blair reacted too, concentrating on chewing her bacon and not meeting my eye. Next thing I knew, Blair was rising, saying “be right back” as she headed to the bathroom.
“Before you say anything…” Jeremy was saying.
But I didn’t hear the rest of it. Calmly turning to him, I said, “So you slept with her then.”
Chaos erupted. Jeremy shoved away his plate of
food. Noah sucked in a deep breath and practically choked on one of the ice cubes in his water. And I sat there, staring at him.
“Don’t try and deny it.”
Jeremy glowered at me. “I wasn’t going to.”
I resisted the urge to laugh outright, concentrating my glare onto the knife on the table, which showed my elongated face. “Whatever happened to keeping it professional?”
Jeremy’s stubborn frown wavered. He shook his head and said, a little sadly, little ruefully; “Man, her messy hair and these PJs she was wearing, I mean, if you would’ve just seen her…”
“Seen what?” Now, surprisingly enough, it was Noah speaking up, chomping down on the remaining ice cubes in his mouth as he did so. “How badly she needed us to be there for her? And you went over there and took advantage of it?”
Jeremy clenched a hand onto the end of the plastic table. “I didn’t go over there intending to take advantage of anything. It just happened.”
“It just happened,” I echoed, a bit mockingly. “And what exactly do you plan to do now, about what ‘just happened’?”
My question hung over the table. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted.
“Obviously, this can’t continue.” I said. “If Chief Fallows found out…”
Jeremy’s head shot up so his glare focused on me. “She’s not going to find out.”
“Not from me she isn’t,” Noah acquiesced. “Still, man. You’ve got to see that this can’t happen.”
Jeremy gave his head a terrific shake. “I know we can’t happen. I’m not an idiot. I just…” His gaze lowered. “I really like this girl, okay?”
There was nothing to say to that. I was two parts furious and one part sympathetic to Jeremy. But then again, he got himself into this mess. Blair was good-looking and smart and capable, we all saw that. But neither Noah or I had had the gall or the idiocy to go over there ourselves when she was so vulnerable to try and comfort her.
After another minute or so, Jeremy glanced to the bathroom. “You think she’s all right?”
“You’re not going to be the one to go over there to find out,” I said dryly.
“So, what,” he argued, “Now I’m not allowed to even go talk to my partner?”
“Don’t pretend like you’re the innocent party here,” Noah said. Once again it startled me to hear the venom in his voice. He really cared about Blair too, I saw. And probably saw, as I did, how this was putting her job in danger even more than it was threatening Jeremy’s. “We all knew that Blair was off-limits. And you went for her anyway.”
“Feels like I’m at the Inquisition,” Jeremy said petulantly. He crossed his arms over his chest.
“You still haven’t told us what you’re going to do,” I commented.
When Jeremy didn’t respond, it hit me. “That’s because you honestly don’t know,” I said, realizing it as I said it. “You’re actually considering trying to pursue something with her.”
As Jeremy opened his mouth, I stood up. A glance over at the bathroom found that Blair was coming back, but paused, perhaps seeing our argument midway. Just that one look, and I had to go.
“See you later Noah,” I said, before I walked to the door and out. Any longer and the urge to punch Jeremy in the face, or at least shake some sense into him, would’ve been near overpowering. Sure, Blair had made a mistake too, but she been hurting. Jeremy knew better. He’d been on the force, seen just how harshly Chief Fallows punished fuck ups. And then one look at Blair’s face, the sad disappointment, the worry. No, I couldn’t sit there and pretend that things were alright for a second longer.
Stalking out of the restaurant, I stormed all the way to my cruiser. I flung myself in just in time to see two teens eyeing the shop window of a vape store suspiciously. Their glance traversed the fanciest stainless steel one in the front, then over to me and paused. If thought bubbles could’ve been visible, theirs would’ve said, “shit”, as they stomped away, grumbling to each other.
I smiled thinly. It was one of the nicest things about being a cop. People toed the line, or at least pretended to while you were around. And it made sense too. Police were supposed to uphold the law, be the examples for the public.
My head felt unusually heavy, and I allowed it to sink back into the head rest behind me. When I was growing up and had decided to become a cop in the first place, the whole point of it for me had been to be one of the good guys, not one of the hypercritical assholes you always seemed to hear about on the news. One of the guys who salvaged the department’s piss poor reputation.
My eyes closed, and I saw back to that day. The time I was nine, Jeremy was seven, and Noah was five. The day we found Noah all scratched up and crying while the neighborhood bully Jules and a bunch of his dick friends had giggled and scampered off. Jules, the cop’s son. The cop who I’d thought, when the three of us showed up at his door an hour so later, would’ve cared. The same one whose slack jaw had only nodded and done nothing when he heard about what his son had done.
And now, here we were, how many years later, not upholding the rules. Dammit, why had he even been hanging out with Blair at all? I’d known it was a bad idea from the start.
In the black of my mind, Jeremy’s words floated, all black and wispy, disappearing into nothingness. “Dude, if you’d only seen…”
And just like that, I was there. It was in me in the doorway, seeing her messy hair, her pajamas. It was me there, close to her, giving into the attraction.
My eyes snapped open. And just like that, I got it: I wasn’t pissed because what of Jeremy did, but because I would’ve done it too.
15
Blair
Peter leaving put a damper on the rest of the lunch. It was clear that they had been arguing about me. While he didn’t have to say it, the odd way Noah wouldn’t look at me quite right indicated enough. Not to mention that Jeremy, while he was being awkward before, was definitely way more awkward now.
Nevertheless, we made do. We finished up our meal; none of us mentioning Peter’s storming out. I was relieved he was gone, to be honest. Seeing the judgment in his eyes, the same judgment I felt prickling through my body every time I thought about what had happened between Jeremy and me, it would’ve been too much to bear.
At the end of the lunch, though, Noah surprised me with a brownie.
“Hope you like it.”
He said it all with the awkwardness of a teen and the earnestness of a child. Part of me wondered what he thought about what he obviously knew about Jeremy and me. Right then, my thoughts were so confused I wanted to disappear into one of the cracks on the linoleum floor. But there was to be no such reprieve. Soon enough, it was time to return to the station. There, as if part of the let’s-make-today-horrible-for-Blair-brigade, Chief Fallows showed up.
Beside me, I heard Jeremy’s breath leaving him, and I did my best to keep my features in a neutral ‘I’m not guilty expression’. Peter wouldn’t actually have said anything, would he?
While we knew he didn’t approve, I thought he’d had enough affection for me at least to not tell the freaking Chief the next day.
As it turned out though, Chief Fallows had other things on her mind.
“I know you say you’re okay,” she said, “But I’ve got some exercises just in case.”
As I was about to respond, she held up a hand. “And yes, these are mandatory. According to me.”
So much for any argument.
“I thought that doing them with Noah would be good,” she continued. “When he first came here, he had some anxiety problems and they helped him.”
Beside me, Noah reddened imperceptibly, and I resisted the urge to give his hand a supportive squeeze. These were my colleagues, I reminded myself, not my friends; as close as we’d been getting. It reminded me of the unreturned message my friend Jenny had left me. I’d been so busy at work and so shaken by the shooting, that I hadn’t even had a chance or thought to get back to her. There was another reason to, now that I t
hought about it. And two parts of that reason were standing on either side of me as Chief Fallows continued speaking.
“Anyway,” Chief Fallows continued, “Better get to it.”
I turned to Noah questioningly.
“We’re going to do some breathing exercises and then yoga,” Noah explained.
“Which apparently I’m not suited for,” Jeremy said, looking a bit peeved.
“You did laugh at me when I used to freak out when we were kids,” Noah reminded him with a small smile.
“And now it means you get to take off work to inhale and exhale and wiggle your butt?” Jeremy pointed out.
Noah rolled his eyes. “Yoga is not wiggling your butt.”
“Whatever.” Jeremy was already partially down the hallway. “Enjoy yourselves.”
“Don’t worry, we will,” I called after him.” Noah and I turned to smile shyly at each other.
“We don’t actually have to go through the full breathing and yoga routine if you don’t want to,” Noah said. “Believe me, I really needed these exercises when I was doing them. And while you were shaken the other day, you don’t really need them to the same extent.”
“I want to try them,” I said. “If Chief Fallows thinks it’s a good idea. Besides, it can’t hurt.”
“No,” Noah agreed, “It can’t.”
But there was something about the way he was looking at me that made me not so sure. Thankfully, if Noah had any questions about Jeremy and me, he kept them to himself. We walked into the empty interrogation room, Noah closed the door behind him, and then paused. “I could try and see if one of the activity rooms is open.”
I shook my head. “Really, this is fine.”
Noah shrugged, “Okay.”
We sat side-by-side then Noah took the lead.
“First,” he said, “Close your eyes. If you feel safe that is.”
One Lucky Girl Page 49
