by Roz Watkins
‘Oh, I was stupid. I remember now.’
‘But I’ll give you a map reference too,’ he said. ‘It’s the most accurate way. The exact location’s hard to find if you don’t know where you’re looking. And the main entrance is sealed up, you know, after that poor girl. But there’s a way in through the top. The cavers still know the way in. And no doubt so do the local teenagers.’
‘Thanks so much. That’s brilliant.’
I took the details and put them into an OS map. The Labyrinth was only half a mile from Mark’s house, along a footpath.
I phoned Jai with the details. ‘You’ve got to get them to look in there.’
‘Richard didn’t seem very interested, Meg. I’ll do my best. But we’ve had a more promising lead.’
‘What?’
‘Rosie was seen by a postman at Mark Hamilton’s house this morning.’
‘At Mark’s?’ I sank down on one of the kitchen chairs. Pictured the darkness of his eyes. He’d been lying to me the whole time. ‘Jai, the Labyrinth is right by his house.’
‘Neither of them are there now. They think he might have taken her.’
‘Seriously, Jai, I think Rosie’s going to the Labyrinth.’ Why was I doing this, sticking my neck out? I couldn’t afford another screw-up.
Jai sighed at unnecessary volume.
I carried on. ‘She said, I am both Theseus and the Minotaur. She feels like she’s a monster – like the Minotaur. But she’s also Theseus. So she’s going to kill herself. In the Labyrinth.’
A pause. ‘If you say so, Meg.’
Jai told me police were crawling all over Mark’s house. There was no sign of Rosie or Mark. This lead had taken priority – they weren’t going to look in the Labyrinth. Past caring about my career or future, I told Jai about my visit to Mark’s house.
‘Sounds like he’s gone a bit mental,’ Jai said. ‘Rosie must have been at his house when you were there. That’s creepy. You shouldn’t have been there on your own with him.’
‘Blah, blah. The thing is, Jai, I really don’t care. I just want to find her.’
I ended the call, and opened and shut the fridge door a few times. When had I last eaten? It must have been days earlier. I grabbed a piece of moderately mouldy cheese and was about to cut off the best bit when the phone rang. Jai. I snatched it with my non-cheesy hand.
‘They say they’re already searching that general area, but there’s no way into the caves. It’s all blocked off.’
‘Oh for God’s sake.’ I hurled the cheese at the kitchen wall. ‘You told them about the way in over the top. She tweets about the bloody Minotaur and they won’t check the Labyrinth? Christ almighty, Jai.’
I slammed the phone on to the table. I’d go there on my own and find her.
I folded my arms and paced up and down the kitchen. It was really too small for proper pacing, and I bashed my thigh on the table. The dusky light had dulled the edges of things.
Right. What did I need to do? Find the Labyrinth, go in there, find the noose…
How big was the Labyrinth?
This was ridiculous. How would I find her? Labyrinths weren’t known for their ease of navigation.
I sat down and put my head in my hands. Maybe she wasn’t even there. Maybe Mark had her. Or Kate had her. Or both of them.
I called Ben Pearson back. ‘Look, I know this is a weird request, but is there any chance you could help me find the entrance to the Labyrinth? I need to look in there.’
‘What? Aren’t Section doing it?’
‘They can’t find it.’
‘But it’s getting dark and this weather’s terrible. If it keeps on like this, it’ll flood.’
‘There’s a young girl in there. I think she’s going to kill herself.’
Three beats of silence, then, ‘Oh God.’
‘I’m really sorry, I don’t know who else to ask. Please can you help? Just to find the entrance, not to go in there or anything.’
‘I really think you should get Section to—’
‘They won’t!’ I could hear myself getting overwrought. ‘They say they can’t find it. They’re following another lead. Please.’
‘It’s a bad place,’ he said softly. ‘I swore I’d never go in there again.’
‘I’m sorry. You don’t have to go in. Just show me the entrance. I’m so worried about this girl.’
The line went silent for so long I thought we’d been cut off. Then, ‘I’ll meet you at the lower car park in twenty minutes. Bring every torch and every coat you own. And waterproofs and walking boots. And a couple of spare jumpers. And bear in mind, this is one of the most dangerous cave systems in England, and that’s when it’s not raining.’
Chapter 39
Jai called back while I was limping around the house, gathering clothes and torches.
‘What are you plotting, Meg?’
‘I’m going to search the Labyrinth myself.’
‘What? You can’t go in there on your own.’
‘I think there’s a vulnerable girl in there. Besides, I’m suspended. If I want to go caving in my own time, I can.’
Silence for a couple of seconds. ‘I’m coming with you.’
‘No, Jai. There’s no need.’ I scuttled towards the door and beeped the car open.
‘Well, I am. Please don’t argue with me.’
‘Okay, if you insist. I’ll see you at that car park I mentioned, soon as you can. Bring torches and waterproofs and boots. And spare jumpers. Ben Pearson’s going to show me where to go.’
Dusk was falling as I drove, and the rain came down in sheets, steaming up the car and overwhelming the aged wipers. I remembered Ben’s comment about the tunnels flooding.
There was one other vehicle in the car park – a Land Rover. The rain bounced off its roof as Ben emerged wearing professional-style waterproofs and a head torch.
‘I really appreciate this,’ I said, but my words were whipped away and scattered by a gust of wind sweeping across the car park. ‘Here’s Jai.’
Jai pulled up and pushed his car door open against the buffeting wind. He stamped through the puddles and exchanged a look with Ben.
‘Are those the Devil’s Dice?’ I asked. High on a hillside above us, silhouetted against the setting sun, were chunks of rock that did indeed look like huge dice.
‘That’s them. And the entrance to the Labyrinth is underneath.’
Ben led us up a footpath, and across a tussocky field to a rocky outcrop at the base of the dice. An obvious cave entrance huddled in the hillside, but it was barricaded with robust bars. I shone my torch in. The cave went further back than I could see, the dark effortlessly swallowing the light beam.
‘Up here,’ Ben shouted, scrambling on his hands and knees up the rocks at the side of the cave entrance. ‘Watch out, it’s steep.’
Jai and I followed, crawling up the slippery rocks. I blinked rain from my eyes. Was that thunder in the distance?
‘I don’t like this weather,’ Ben said. ‘There are parts of the Labyrinth that you can’t get to when it’s wet, not without diving.’
‘Diving?’ Jai’s voice was almost inaudible against the rain and wind. A streak of brightness lit his face, highlighting every line of worry. The thunderclap came soon after.
‘Uh oh,’ I said. ‘The storm’s not far away.’
Ben stood on the rocks, looking into the night. He muttered something under his breath, and did something with his arm. Was he crossing himself? I felt a shiver go through me.
‘I’m just going to put this out there,’ Ben said. ‘I absolutely do not recommend going into this cave system. It’s huge, virtually impossible to navigate, and it floods when it rains. It’s extremely dangerous.’
‘I’m going in,’ I said. ‘But please don’t feel you have to come with me. You’ve shown me the entrance. I know you said you’d never go back inside.’ I glanced at Jai. ‘And you, Jai. Don’t risk it. Please. I’m kind of semi-suicidal – it’s different for me.�
��
I heard the shake in Ben’s voice. ‘You’ll kill yourself if you go in alone. Follow me.’ His face was unreadable in the gloomy light.
‘No,’ I said. ‘You can’t—’
He gave a quick shake of his head, and disappeared. I realised he’d lowered himself into a gap in the rock. It was only just wide enough for a person, and was invisible unless you knew exactly where you were looking. I wasn’t surprised Section had missed it.
A crack of thunder shook the rocks under us.
Jai’s head torch dazzled me. ‘I’m coming too,’ he said.
‘No, Jai, really. You don’t—’
‘Shut up and get in that hole.’
I smiled and shook my head. Looked at him again. He meant it. I shrugged and slithered into the gap.
Jai plopped down beside me. ‘Jesus Christ. I’m not even getting overtime for this.’
We stood in a gloomy cavern the size of a small room. Water dripped from the roof onto the slimy floor and our bodies cast uneven shadows on the walls. A bat whisked past my face.
‘This is a very nasty cave system,’ Ben said. ‘Even experienced cavers get lost.’ He took a chunky coil of rope from his backpack and tied one end of it to a metal ring attached to the cave wall. ‘And drowned.’ He looped the rope through a tree root that twisted down from the roof of the cave. He checked it several times for solidity. It was a very long rope, thin but strong, like something you’d tow cars with. The length chilled me – just how far in were we going?
‘Like Theseus,’ I said.
‘Not worth taking any chances down here. Come on.’
Ben led us towards the back of the cavern. A passageway about four feet high sloped down into the blackness. We ducked and shuffled through, the light of our torches flickering against the cave walls, which sparkled in the half-light. I thought of the women forced in here, accused of witchcraft. Imagined their terror as they were led deep into the rock, towards the noose.
‘Rosie! Rosie!’ Our voices bounced back to us, ‘Rosie, Rosie,’ as if they were ridiculing us.
The cold was shocking. It passed straight through my clothing to my bones.
‘Do you really think she’s in here?’ Ben said. ‘It seems unlikely.’
‘I just think—’
There was a scuffling noise. Like the sound of footsteps, but in the distance as if it was coming from a place deep within the ground. Jai jumped and hit his head on the roof of the tunnel. ‘Oh my God, is that her?’
‘Rosie!’ I shouted. I heard only the echo of my own voice in return, and a dim rumble of thunder that seemed to shake the whole hillside.
We carried on shuffling down the narrow corridor, hunched over, and came to a T-junction. Guessing as to where the noise had come from, we took the left fork. A whimper echoed through the passageway but I couldn’t tell if it was near or far. I already felt confused and disorientated, and was glad of Ben’s rope. I turned to him. ‘Where’s the noose you told me about?’
‘It’s a long way in. You don’t think—’
‘Can you take us to it?’
Ben turned towards me, the beam of his torch swooping along the damp wall. I was glad I couldn’t see his face. ‘It can be hard to find.’ His voice had a harsh edge to it and he spoke quickly. ‘And the tunnels flood. With all this rain—’
‘Look. If you want to go back…’
‘Come on.’ Ben’s voice was firm. ‘We’ve got this far.’
We kept inching down, though tunnel after tunnel, twisting and turning deeper into the rock. I had no idea how Ben had remembered it all.
Eventually, the path branched in two, but Ben indicated a gap in the rock straight ahead of us. The opening was only about two feet high. ‘Short cut. This should avoid the underground river.’
‘Underground river?’ Jai said, in the voice of a condemned man.
‘We need to get a bloody move on.’
I crouched down and crawled on my belly into the gap. It led into a tunnel about three feet in diameter, extending down into the rock. It reminded me of a nightmare I used to have where I was stuck in a world where all the ceilings were waist height. This was far worse. I shuffled down, trying not to think about all the rock above me and the water flowing into the cave system. Brutally cold water seeped down the tunnel floor below me, and as we crept lower, the bottom of the tunnel started filling. I knew cavers died in flooded tunnels.
The tunnel floor now sloped upwards and it became even harder to drag myself along. I wedged my arms against the walls and clawed myself up the slope, gasping for breath, suddenly sweaty despite the freezing conditions.
Finally I emerged into a cavern.
There she was.
A chain-link noose was looped around her neck. She’d already done it. I couldn’t go through this again. A scream started forming in my throat. Then I realised her hands were gripping the noose. She stood on a square piece of rock, rather like one of the Devil’s Dice, and held one foot out over the edge of the rock as if about to step off it. A torch was propped on the rock beside her, directed up towards the cave roof. Rosie looked tiny and frail, skinny jeans and loose-laced trainers emphasising her stick-thin legs; huge eyes staring.
‘No! Rosie, please. Wait a minute.’
She removed her hands from the noose, leaving it around her neck, and looked straight at me, her foot hovering over the edge. I remembered her tripping down the stairs, and Olivia saying her legs had collapsed under her in the past. The noose was attached high above her to a ring that looked like an ancient version of the kind of thing you’d attach a horse to. The chain was long, giving the noose a good drop for an instant kill. I knew my suicide methods. If I tried to make a grab for her, she could step off and her neck would be broken instantly.
‘Rosie, please wait.’
‘What are you doing here?’ Her voice was surprisingly loud.
Jai shuffled through the opening and gasped when he saw Rosie. Ben followed. Our torches shone in her face, and on the cave wall behind. It was uneven, marked with something. Initials. Cut into the rock.
‘Why have you come?’ Rosie said. ‘I want to die. I’m dying anyway. Why shouldn’t I choose my own death?’
I spoke quickly to Jai and Ben. ‘Switch the torches off for now.’ I didn’t want them shining in Rosie’s face, and the thought that the batteries could run out was twitching at the edge of my brain. I turned mine off and popped it into my pocket.
I looked back at Rosie’s face, made sinister by the upward light of her torch. ‘You don’t know you’re dying,’ I said. ‘Please, Rosie, come out with us.’
‘I am dying. I heard Mum talking, I’ve got Huntington’s. I’m not stupid.’
‘You might not—’
‘I said I’m not stupid. I googled it.’ She let out a little gasping sob. ‘I should be able to choose when I die. I’ll end up paralysed and then I’ll be totally helpless and dependent, and they’ll be able to keep me alive, even if I really, really don’t want…’ She tailed off, and leant over the edge, her neck still in the noose.
My heart pounded in my ears.
‘I’m just going to do it,’ Rosie said.
Jai lunged forwards. I grabbed his arm.
‘No,’ I hissed. ‘It won’t work.’
Jai stopped. He didn’t carry on towards Rosie but neither did he move back.
‘You haven’t even had the test,’ I said. ‘It might be something else. Please. Just have the test and give your parents a chance to talk to you.’
‘I’m not coming down,’ she said. ‘I hate them.’ I couldn’t see her expression in the peculiar up-light. Only her eyes were clearly visible. ‘Mum didn’t even tell me what was wrong with me, and Dad doesn’t want me because I’m not his proper daughter. I’m Peter’s, and he’s dead.’
‘Rosie, please…’
I could hear water flowing somewhere behind us. I pictured the tunnels filling.
I took a deep breath of the tomb-like air. ‘My sister h
anged herself.’
Rosie’s gaze darted to me, and she placed her hands back on the noose. ‘I just wanted my death to be under my own control,’ she said, her thin voice echoing off the cave walls. ‘The Devil’s Dice. How perfect is that for me? The throw of a dice. And I lost.’ She clutched the noose tightly in her small hands. ‘Why did your sister kill herself?’
‘She was dying of cancer. She didn’t want to go through the last few months.’ The dark helped me say it. ‘And I said a terrible thing to her, Rosie, and she never gave me the chance to take it back.’
Rosie shuffled her weight from one foot to the other, keeping the noose around her neck.
‘I found her,’ I said. Jai took a sharp breath next to me. ‘I found her in her bedroom, hanging from a beam. She’d climbed a ladder. I tried to get her down but I couldn’t.’
‘Sorry,’ Rosie said.
I wasn’t sure if the rushing in my ears was my own blood, or water gushing into the cave system. But I had Rosie’s attention.
‘I still blame myself,’ I said. ‘It was horrific for our family. It’s really screwed me up.’
‘Yeah, she’s damn screwed up,’ Jai said, and I thought Rosie actually smiled.
‘If you come back with us now and talk to your family, I promise you…’ I took a moment to wonder what the hell I was doing, and then carried on anyway. ‘I promise you on my sister’s grave – you won’t be forced to live a moment longer than you choose to. And we’re the police.’
‘What if Mum doesn’t agree?’
I hesitated, watching my career saunter away. ‘I’ll talk to her and persuade her. But even if your mum doesn’t agree, we’ll help you anyway.’ If I wasn’t sacked for what I’d done so far, I would be now.
‘I don’t want to end up in a wheelchair,’ she said. ‘Do you promise, promise?’ She suddenly sounded much younger. I was overcome with a wave of despair at her situation – that the best she was hoping for was a dignified death. I prayed to a God I didn’t believe in – Please don’t let her have Huntington’s.
