Place to Belong, a

by Lauraine Snelling

  Could this be the answer to their prayers to save the ranch? It sure looked like something they could all get excited about. Would anyone have dreamed this up were it not for the letter from Mr. Porter? In the long run, Cassie was at the center of the change. What would Ivar say? She blew out a breath. Would someone really pay to work on the ranch with them?

  12

  Lucas, don’t we need to talk?”

  “Of course.” He motioned to the chair across the table.

  Cassie caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “I . . . ah . . .” She glanced at the bustle going on around them, with everyone getting ready to leave for church. Why was this so hard? She’d thought they would discuss the wedding yesterday, but he was gone by the time the kitchen was cleaned up, and she’d not realized he was heading to Hill City. But then the others didn’t either, the way Ransom had asked about him and then glared. Ransom’s glare always made her grateful she was not the one on the receiving end.

  She snagged her mind and dragged it back to the moment. “Are we planning on talking with Reverend Brandenburg after church?” She put the emphasis on the we. After all, Lucas was the one who had been pushing so hard to marry her. She so much wanted to say, Look, if you’ve changed your mind, you just need to let me know. But she was committed now; she had given her word.

  Lucas nodded. “I guess we should, huh?” He exhaled heavily. “Did you choose a date?”

  “Isn’t that something we should do together?”

  Lucas leaned forward. “I’m sorry, Cassie. I got so involved in the plans for our future, our whole family’s future, that I guess I figured that whatever you decide is fine with me.” He reached for her hand. “Now that you’ve agreed to the most important question, that is.”

  Somewhat mollified, Cassie dropped her voice. “Your mother suggested the last Saturday of December, the thirty-first.”

  “Sounds fine to me.”

  “Do you want to have it at the church?” she asked. Why was he not offering suggestions? After all, this was a rather momentous event.

  “Fine.”

  “Or here at the house?” She held up a stop hand before he could finish shrugging.

  “We have to leave now or we’ll be late,” Mavis called from near the front door. “Ransom has the sleigh up.”

  Lucas pushed back his chair. “Let’s go. We can talk about this on the way to town.” He lifted her coat from the rack.

  “I need to get my hat.” Cassie swirled down the hall and lifted her dress hat off the peg on the wall. If she’d had any money she would have bought a real lady’s hat, rather than her white felt western show-day hat, but she’d not had money, and one did not go to church without a hat. In fact, most women did not go out of the house without a hat. Back in the kitchen, Lucas held her coat for her, and she shoved her arms into the sleeves. Without even saying thank you, she sailed out of the house and allowed Ransom to help her into the sleigh. Now to just loosen her jaw and . . . She sucked in a deep breath of icy air and turned her head at Lucas’s call.

  “Too many for the sleigh. I’ll catch up with you.” He was heading for the barn. How were they supposed to talk this way?

  “Sorry, Cassie, I could have ridden,” Arnett told her over his shoulder.

  “Sorry, nothing. We’ve had six in the sleigh before, and while it was tight, we did it.” Ransom flipped the reins and turned the team in a close circle. They jingled merrily out the long lane.

  The sleigh bells singing, the glory of sun on snow, and the warmth of Mavis’s shoulder next to hers sent a measure of calm to Cassie’s spirit. They would ask Reverend Brandenburg about the date. Assuming he agreed to that, should they do it in the morning or afternoon? Evening would be too hard for them to come out to the ranch.

  What did she want to do? “Mavis?”

  “Yes, dear.”

  Cassie stared at the robe tucked around them, then looked to Mavis. “Should we put the wedding off until later in January or . . . ? I mean, there’s no real reason to hurry, is there?” Other than I want to get it over with so I can get on with my life. Now, that was a rather stupid thing to even think, let alone say.

  “That’s up to you and Lucas.”

  Somehow Cassie had known that was what the answer would be. “I don’t want something fancy.” Not a lot of people around was what she really meant. People she didn’t know. She had never had trouble meeting people, but usually she’d had her father to introduce her or after that, Jason Talbot. Here, Mavis had pretty much taken over the responsibility. When she thought about it, maybe she had left all her responsibilities up to Mavis, ever since the night of the shooting. Everyone had shelter—at least she hoped and prayed Chief had a place to live—food enough, and while she wanted to give them more, nothing else was critical.

  “How can I help you, Cassie?” Mavis leaned closer to ask.

  She shrugged. “I think I just have to work this out.” She made sure her mouth smiled. “Thanks.”

  Once inside the church, Cassie found herself flanked by Mavis on one side and Gretchen on the other. Lucas sat next to Gretchen. Cassie caught the nudge and the frown, but she had also noticed the entire Hudson family in the pew three rows behind them. The daggers to her back were becoming familiar. Would that last forever? Maybe it would be better for them all if she didn’t come to church. Maybe it would change after the wedding.

  When the organ broke into the opening hymn and the congregation rose to sing, she forgot the eddies swirling around her and lost herself in the waves of the song. “‘Jesus calls us o’er the tumult of our life’s wild restless sea. . . .’” She’d seen waves breaking on rocks one time when her father took her to the northern Atlantic coast. The song fit, both with her memory and her present.

  When Reverend Brandenburg started his sermon with “Jesus calls us; beloved; let us listen to His call,” Cassie almost stopped breathing, the better to hear. “Let us listen closely and carefully so the restless sea around us does not drown out His voice. Our Jesus said to Peter, ‘Come to me.’ And Peter heard Him over the call of the sea and stepped out of the boat to walk to Jesus on the water—until he took his eyes off Jesus and started to sink. Peter immediately cried out—he did not think of anything else—‘Save me, Jesus.’ So if you feel you are sinking, even into a sea of your own making, call out to Jesus. Reach out to Him and He will take your hand and lift you up to safety.”

  Cassie barely heard the congregation’s amen and the blessing that followed. Jesus would hear her cry. When they all stood for the benediction, she heard the words again. “The Lord bless thee, and keep thee . . . and give thee peace.”

  Peace. As her mother used to say, “Peace, not pieces.”

  The daggers were back as she moved down the aisle. What could she do? Or was this something Lucas had to take care of? Lord, let Lucas begin to heal this wound so that there can be peace again between these two families. I do not want to cause dissension and conflict. Peace. I want peace.

  When she asked to speak with the reverend, he smiled at her. “Of course. I would love to talk with you. It’ll be just a few minutes.”

  Cassie nodded. She felt Lucas leave her side and turned slightly to find Mavis and Gretchen right behind her, as if they were her watchdogs. As they paused on the top step to let their eyes adjust to the snow glare, she saw Lucas waiting in the shoveled-out area at the bottom of the four steps, staring intently out to the wagons—where his former best friend was helping his sister into the sleigh. Was Lucas looking at Betsy or her brother?

  The die is cast. That famous line most assuredly applied to her, to them, as they left town behind and whooshed toward home. So very few days remaining until the wedding, or ceremony, or whatever she wanted to call it. While she would much prefer to think about this in the quiet of her room, the others were already discussing it.

  Lucas rode right beside the sleigh so he could take part in the conversation. “Ask Cassie” seemed to be his answer to every question.

  �
��But what do you want?” She raised her voice. “Lucas, you have to say what you want.”

  “Apple pie for the dinner?”

  The others sort of laughed, but Mavis shook her head. “Done. Now let’s get serious. Besides all of us and the Brandenburgs, who all should be there for the ceremony?”

  Lucas thought and shook his head. “If we were having a big party, that would be different. But if Cassie really is serious about keeping this simple, then you needn’t worry about it anymore. We’ll have the ceremony at noon and dinner after that, and then we’ll drive to our new home. I plan to move over there as soon as . . .” He paused and shrugged. “Soon as we have it ready, I guess, and we have signed the papers with Arnett. I don’t want to live there until that is finished.”

  “Won’t take much, I keep trying to tell you,” Arnett said. “We draw up the papers and go in to see your lawyer. I was hopin’ to see him in church, but he wasn’t there. Maybe Wednesday or Thursday, whichever is best.”

  “Thursday.” Mavis looked to the others for confirmation. “Good. Then we’ll go get the Christmas tree as soon as we’ve had dinner.”

  Later that afternoon, all mounted on horses, they rode across the pasture and up toward the cabin, following the trail Micah had created, Benny and Othello bounding along beside them. When Benny announced their arrival, Dog ran out to meet them and Micah and Runs Like a Deer met them on the front step.

  “We’re going for a Christmas tree,” Mavis announced. “Do you and Runs Like a Deer want to come? We can get one for you too, or you can enjoy ours.”

  Runs Like a Deer peeked out from under his arm, shaking her head. “No tree here.”

  “But you can come with us. We brought coffee and cookies too.”

  “Come on, Micah. I never see you anymore.” Cassie hoped pleading would work. She missed having her family around.

  “Okay. But we don’t have horses up here.”

  “You ride behind me, Runs Like a Deer.”

  “And you can take my horse, Micah. I’ll ride with Mor.” Gretchen slid to the snow as she talked.

  After shifting riders, the group headed up the hill, Ransom riding in the lead to break a path through the knee-deep snow. While under the pine trees, the snow wasn’t as deep, but in the shade, the cold bit harder.

  “Are you warm enough?” Cassie asked her friend.

  “Always. Micah makes sure the fire is going.”

  “Micah is a good man,” Cassie mused. For all the years I’ve known him.

  “Yes. Very good to me.”

  Cassie smiled over her shoulder. “I’m so happy for you. We set the date today for the wedding—the last Saturday of December.”

  “You marry Lucas?”

  “Yes.” Perhaps saying it more often would make it seem real. “Has Lucas told you about Christmas Day at the ranch house?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’ll come?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  Cassie ducked as a shower of snow slid from the branches higher up. Wind Dancer pranced to the side, and Othello barked at the falling snow. She could hear Runs Like a Deer chuckling behind her. She, who had laughed so seldom before, was now enjoying the romping dog and snow showers. Surely that could be called a small miracle.

  As they approached the aspen grove, two deer bounded out from the side and on up the hill.

  “I knew I should have brought the rifle.”

  “Not today, Lucas. Let them run free,” Mavis chided. “We don’t want for meat.”

  “Ah, but the Hill City Hotel does. I’ll come up again later.”

  Only a few leaves remained on the silvery aspens as the tree-seeking party cut across the middle of the grove to move up the mountain. Cassie saw areas where the deer had bedded down. Had she not learned from Chief, she’d not have known that bit of lore. How was he? She’d forgotten to ask Reverend Brandenburg if he could give her the name of the Indian agent or someone on the reservation. Perhaps they could ask when they went in to sign the papers at the lawyer’s office.

  “See that one?” Ransom pointed up the hill. A young pine tree stood alone, needles and branches weighted by snow.

  “It’s a shame we can’t keep the snow on it,” Mavis said with a nod. “How beautiful.”

  “The candles will make up for the snow.” Gretchen laid her cheek on her mother’s back. “This will be the prettiest ever.”

  A crack like the shot of a rifle had Cassie ducking and staring around. “Where did that come from?”

  “That was a tree splitting in the cold,” Ransom said. “No one is shooting at us.”

  “Besides,” Lucas added, “we allow no hunting on our land, and this is still part of the ranch.”

  “No hunting?” Micah asked.

  “Other than us,” Lucas reassured him. “You can hunt anytime you want.”

  “Need to move the snares farther out. Not so many rabbits close-by anymore.” Runs Like a Deer slid off over Wind Dancer’s rump. She plowed through the snow, Dog at her side, her deer-hide leggings, wrapped with thongs, keeping her drier than those with pants and boots. She walked around the tree, nodding as she went. “Beautiful.”

  The others dismounted and followed her tracks, all inspecting the tree. Lucas untied the saw from his saddlebag while Micah kicked the snow away enough to reach under the tree. After shaking the snow off, the two men dug their way under and started sawing.

  Mavis studied a couple of pine trees farther up the hill. “We could take down some of the limbs for decorating the house.” She looked to Ransom. “Isn’t there a cedar tree near here?” At his nod, she continued. “We could stop there on the way back, right?”

  “Good thing we brought lots of rope.”

  Mavis chuckled. “You always see to that. Remember when we used to come up looking for trees when your far was alive? He always had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit.”

  Ransom nodded. Lucas let out a yelp.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Got a bucket of snow down my neck. That’s all.”

  Cassie didn’t bother to try to hide her delighted cackle, and that set the others off. Micah muttered something unintelligible, and even Runs Like a Deer started to laugh. Othello bounced over and through the snow, sticking his head under the tree and barking at the two men.

  “Othello, come here.” Cassie could barely get the words past the laughter erupting. Slowly the tree tipped to the side and fell into the snow. Micah and Lucas struggled to their feet.

  “You better get the coffee and cookies out, Mor. We earned a break.”

  Othello put both front paws up on Micah’s shoulders and tipped him back in the snow. “Get off me, you mangy mutt.”

  Cassie tried to call her dog off, but giggles got in the way. “H-he’s . . . he’s not a m-mangy mutt. Hold him, Othello.”

  Othello sat down on Micah’s chest and gave him a slurp from chin to hat.

  “Cassie!”

  “Serves you right.” She finally quit laughing enough to call her dog again, and this time he yipped and then came to her side.

  Micah heaved himself to his feet in time to accept a cup of coffee, that, while no longer hot, was at least warm, and dug two cookies out of the sack. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She handed a broken piece to the dog. “Good boy.”

  Cassie caught Lucas and Micah exchanging glances, most likely of pity.

  “All this for a Christmas tree.”

  “That’s right. You can be sure we won’t forget this tree day.” Mavis sipped her coffee. “What an absolutely perfect day.”

  Cassie agreed. She finished her cookie and tossed the dregs in her coffee cup out on the snow. This was a far cry from any Christmas she’d ever had before. If only her father and mother could be here to join them. Was this more like her mother’s days in Norway, with snow and mountains and trees to cut in woods now richer with the smell of pine pitch? And a sky so blue it hurt your eyes and the sparkles between the
snow and the sun as they battled for supremacy? Gratitude welled up in her heart and leaked out her eyes. She dashed the tears away and caught Mavis doing the same thing. The two smiled at each other, nodded, and started putting the coffee things back in the saddlebags.

  Ransom dragged the tree on a rope behind his horse, and when they’d cut cedar limbs to add to the pine Lucas was pulling, they all made their way back to the cabin.

  “Thank you,” Runs Like a Deer said as she slid to the ground. “I will come help with preparations if you want.”

  “Thank you.” Mavis leaned over and reached for her hand. “I’ll let you know when. I’m so glad you both came with us.”

  “Me too.”

  With everyone back on their own horses again, they rode on down to the ranch house.

  If this was what family felt like, Cassie was all in favor. It wouldn’t be long until she was a real member of the family, not just adopted by contract. The thought didn’t bring the excitement she’d dreamed of feeling when preparing for a wedding—her wedding.

  Her wedding.

  13

  While the women were baking up a hurricane in the kitchen over the next couple of days, ranch chores remained pretty much the same. If the weather held, Ransom hoped to get those dried hardwoods milled so he could stash them in the barn, either at the homeplace or over at Arnett’s. They’d know more regarding how dry the wood really was after sawing it into usable sizes. Now he not only needed to come up with Christmas gifts, he needed a wedding present for Lucas and Cassie. What could he make for them?

  Doubts as to the wisdom of the union still raised their grizzled heads periodically, but he bashed them back down to the murk of confusion. He’d given Lucas his blessing, and that was that. It was time his younger brother stood on his own two feet. Upon thinking on it, the three brothers were so very different. Jesse was committed to becoming a doctor no matter what it took in the way of effort and dedication. Ransom’s own dedication was for the ranch—not only keeping it alive but making it prosper. And Lucas? While definitely the most charming of the three, he seemed to lack that stick-to-itiveness that exemplified the Engstrom blood, inherited from both mother and father. Gretchen at age twelve showed more determination than Lucas. Unless one thought about his ability to entertain. Ransom deliberately swung his thoughts away from Lucas.