“What have you heard?”
“Noah, why is this family on your mind? Is it because you went on a call to their house when Verba took ill?”
“Partly. I mean, that is very sad and all . . .”
“Any death is sad, but I don’t think she was in particularly good health, son. Every time I saw her at the market, her skin looked paper thin and kind of sallow.” She flushed. “Sorry. That’s unkind.”
“There was a young woman living there. A distant relation. She’s been on my mind.”
“How distant?”
“I think she might be a cousin? Her name is Sadie. She’s moved here recently from Ohio.”
“Why are you thinking about her? Was she sick, too?”
“Nee. I mean, I don’t think so.” Boy, my mother must know a doozy of a story for her to be sidestepping around what she knows about the family, Noah thought.
“So, she’s a cousin who moved here recently. You are concerned about her but she’s not ill . . .” Her eyes brightened. “Have you fallen in love, too?”
“Nee!”
Instead of fussing that he raised his voice to her, Mamm was staring at his face. “You like her, though.”
“I’m worried about her. I went out to see Sadie again, and she was doing laundry by herself. She revealed that she sleeps on a makeshift bed in the kitchen.”
Her eyebrows rose at the mention of his visit. After a moment, she said, “While that’s too bad, that’s nothing to be upset about.”
“Nee, it’s more than that. She made it sound like she had to leave Ohio, like she got kicked out. And now she is in this awful house. When her uncle came home, I overheard him yelling at her for talking to me.”
Mamm looked dismayed but not surprised. “What are you going to do next?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like she asked me for help. I guess I need to keep looking out for Sadie, if that’s possible.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m starting to wish you had your own Ben Zook. Then I wouldn’t be worried about you getting hurt, or involving yourself in situations that you can’t escape.”
Finally they were back to his original question. “What do you know, Mamm?”
“There are rumors that the men in the family have a moonshine business.”
“Moonshine.” He gaped at her. “But they’re Amish.” While he realized some members of their church might have a glass of homemade wine from time to time, operating a still and selling liquor was something else altogether.
“Indeed, they are—but just because someone is Amish doesn’t mean they don’t have vices. And, well, it ain’t like they drink it all themselves. People of all sorts buy it from them. At least, so I have heard.”
“I’m thinking you know quite a bit about all of this.” He was struggling to keep his voice even. It was difficult, though, because he’d always considered his mother was rather innocent.
It was something of a shock to realize that she knew more about the moonshine business than he did.
“A lot of people do. I’m certainly not the only one. It’s just that no one talks about it.”
Noah was tempted to find fault with that, but he knew he’d been guilty of that as well from time to time. Not all of his friends—English or Amish—always made the best decisions. Some had been bad enough that he’d wanted to tell someone, but he’d kept his mouth shut. No one wanted to be considered a tattletale or busybody. “I see.”
Seemingly encouraged by his comment, she continued. “This business of theirs is all rather secretive and sneaky, at least according to your father.”
“Daed knows about the moonshine, too?”
Her eyes lit up. “He does. I think most everyone knows something about it.”
“I didn’t!”
“Anyway, like I said, the family tries real hard to keep it under wraps. I’ve heard that the men lie about the amount of money they’re making; and the women, well, I guess they pretend they don’t know what their men do all day.”
Noah was worldly enough to know that the Kentucky hills were practically littered with bourbon distilleries. Tourists flocked to them. During his rumspringa, he’d even visited one to see what all the fuss was about.
But a homemade still, hidden in a home or barn, was different. It was not only illegal, it could be dangerous.
In fact, the whole business sounded dangerous. “Do you think Sadie knows about the family business?”
“I would imagine so. I mean, how could she not? Your father said those stills are notoriously unstable. Maybe that’s why she seemed uneasy.”
“Maybe so.”
“Now you look even more worried, son. Please don’t be. The Stauffer family might not be my cup of tea, but it don’t mean they’re bad people.”
“Maybe not, but I’m still worried about her. I just wish I knew what to do.”
“If you aren’t sure what the best course is, I think that means it’s time for you to get some sleep.” She picked up his plate. “Go on. I know you’ve been up for hours and hours. I’ll wash your dishes for you before I go home.”
“I don’t need you washing my dishes.”
“I’m sure you don’t. But . . . maybe I need to do them from time to time.”
Noah doubted that. But he didn’t doubt how tired he suddenly was. Right now, even walking to his bedroom felt like a chore.
After giving his mother a quick hug and offering his thanks, he wandered toward his bedroom. When he and Silas first bought the house, Silas and his crew did some remodeling. Now both he and Silas had a bathroom connected to their own bedroom.
Last year, he’d spent almost a whole paycheck on a new king-sized bed and fresh sheets and blankets.
After taking a much-needed shower, he lay down on those new sheets and stretched out his legs. Allowed his eyes to drift shut, all while taking comfort in the fact that the room had dark shades and was blessedly cool.
This room, so comfortable and private, in a house that he shared with his brother and right next door to his parents, was everything he’d ever wanted. It soothed both his body and his soul.
It was vastly different than Sadie’s circumstances. Living in a house filled with distant relatives. Sleeping on a cot in the center of a hot kitchen.
Living in fear of being caught, or the still exploding into flames.
And though he knew his mother was probably right, Noah’s last thought was that someone had to look out for Sadie.
No, he needed to look out for her.
To his surprise, instead of making him wary, the decision only added to his sense of peace. He drifted off to sleep making plans.
Chapter 8
July 12
Sadie wasn’t sure where the money came from, but when Uncle Stephen placed the fifty dollars in her hand and told her to use it for her fabric and other sewing supplies, she was so excited about the opportunity that she didn’t argue.
She and Esther walked to town together, but then separated when Esther ran into one of her old classmates from school. Sadie didn’t want to interfere with their time, and they agreed to meet near the coffee shop in an hour.
That was how she ended up alone in Ada’s Fabrics, which Esther had said was the best fabric and notion store in the county.
It was a small place. Cramped but surprisingly cool, thanks to the fans overhead that were attached to the generator.
After surveying the space, Sadie made up her mind. She was no longer going to pretend that she wasn’t with child. Instead, she decided to at last embrace the pregnancy. The matter-of-fact way that Esther had embraced it made Sadie realize she’d been foolish to try to keep her condition a secret. In about six months, she was going to be a mother for the rest of her life—so the rest of the world was just going to have to come to terms with that, too.
Feeling pleased with her new attitude, she decided to make a baby blanket out of various yellow and white prints. To her surprise, there
were several bins of neatly rolled remnant fabric, each for just a couple of dollars. If she shopped smart, she would have plenty of money left over.
“You be needin’ any help?” the woman who ran the store called out.
“Danke, but I think I have been finding everything all right.”
The woman began walking toward Sadie. She had coffee-colored skin, short hair, and kind-looking brown eyes. She was wearing a long dress with short sleeves but no kapp. Sadie wondered if she was Mennonite, or just enjoyed dressing modestly.
“My name is Ada,” she said in a sweet, melodic voice. “You’re new around here, aren’t you?”
“I am. My name is Sadie. I recently moved in with my cousins, the Stauffers.”
“You’re kin to them?” Ada said as she approached.
“I am.” Sadie’s smile faltered as a bit of her insides deflated. Here it was again . . . that almost judgmental look and tension that was sent her way whenever she either mentioned that she was living with the Stauffers or when she was seen walking beside one of them.
“How are things going? I’m real sorry about Verba.”
“Thank you. My family is sad but is doing the best they can.”
Ada nodded slowly. “That’s all you can do, right?”
“Jah. That is true.” She glanced with longing at the fabric. She had hoped to make this outing a happy experience, not another uncomfortable hour.
“So you getting fabric for a specific project in mind?” Ada asked. “Or are you just looking around?” Before Sadie could answer, she held up a hand. “If you are just looking, that’s all right with me. Lord knows, I spend a good amount of time in here just dreaming of projects to start.”
Ada was making an effort to be kind. Sadie liked that. She liked how she wasn’t acting like she knew everything there was to know about the Stauffers.
Maybe this was a sign that it was time to come out of her shell a little bit.
Feeling like she was jumping off a cliff, Sadie looked her in the eye. “I actually do have a project in mind. You see, I’m going to be making a baby blanket.”
“I notice you’re looking at yellow.” Ada’s smile widened. “Let me guess, you don’t know whether the woman is having a boy or a girl?”
“That is the truth. I don’t know if it will be a boy or a girl.” She smiled, liking how that sounded.
Ada nodded, just as if Sadie’s choice of fabrics was a very important decision. “How far along is she? If she’s pretty far, you could ask. I’m only pushing because I see a lot of women wishing they had either bought pink or a blue material. Yellow ain’t for everyone.”
“I’m sure it isn’t, but I’m fond of it.” Exhaling, she said, “And because it’s for me, I don’t think I’ll be changing my mind.”
“You’re gonna have a baby?”
“I am.”
The woman’s expression went slack before she pulled herself back together. “I see. Congratulations, then.” Softly, she added, “A baby is a miracle, isn’t it?”
Tears pricked Sadie’s eyes. Had anyone actually referred to her babe as that? “It is, indeed.”
Suddenly, she felt as if the Lord was walking with her, coaxing to believe in herself and in the baby, too. By pretending it didn’t exist or that she wasn’t experiencing all the emotions and physical reactions that took place with pregnancy, she’d been doing both her, the babe, and Him a disservice. After all, He had brought her this child for a reason.
As a tear fell, she swiped it with her hand. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . well, thank you for saying that.”
After gazing at her another long moment, Ada sighed. And then pulled Sadie into a hug. “Oh, child. You’ve been having a time of it, haven’t you?”
She nodded when Ada released her. “It hasn’t been easy, but I’m okay.”
“Are you going to be living here in Hart County?”
“Yes. I mean, I hope so.”
“With the Stauffers, or with your man?”
“With the Stauffers.” Figuring she might as well share some more, she admitted, “I . . . well, I don’t have a man. He didn’t want me or the babe.” Since she’d already shared so much, Sadie continued. “I’m grateful for my cousins. My family didn’t take the news well. I had to leave them.”
A troubled expression entered Ada’s eyes. “You poor thing. So you had to leave home and you’re now living with relatives.”
“They’ve been kind to me. I’m real glad I’m not alone anymore.”
“I bet.” She folded her arms over her chest. “To be real honest, your cousins don’t have the best of reputations. I had always assumed that they didn’t care about folks. But it seems like I was wrong, wasn’t I?”
Sadie didn’t know if Ada was wrong or not. Sometimes she felt as if she was a terrible obligation to the Stauffers. Other times, she felt like she was forgotten, like a constant afterthought.
No matter what, it was probably a good time to move to a different topic. “I thought I’d make a starburst pattern. What do you think, four or six different patterns?”
“I think because it’s going to be for a babe that four would be a good choice.”
Holding out the pieces in her hand, she said, “I like these three together.”
Ada knelt down, dug down deep into the scrap pile, then pulled out a pale-yellow polka-dot fabric. “How about this for the fourth?”
“I think it’s mighty pretty. Now I just need some thread and needles. Oh, some pattern marker, too.”
“Are you going to sew this by hand?”
“Jah.” Maybe one day soon she’d feel comfortable using Verba’s old treadle sewing machine.
“Okay, then, honey. Let’s get you set up.”
Ten minutes later, Sadie was stepping out of the shop with a shopping bag filled with everything she needed to begin her project. Though her hands were filled, her entire body felt lighter. It was amazing how the very act of sharing her burden had helped her whole disposition.
Just as she was scanning the area for Esther, she noticed Noah standing with her outside the coffee shop. At first she feared that something else had happened. But when she saw that the two of them were simply speaking together, her heart quieted.
When they spied her, both Noah and Esther stopped talking. They turned to watch her approach.
Uncomfortable with both their attention and the way Noah was now staring at her, she wondered if Esther had told him about the pregnancy.
Her steps slowed. What if Esther had told him? What would he think of her then? Would he suddenly turn away from her and act as if she wasn’t good enough to befriend? Or, would he try to accept her and make an effort to understand her side of the story?
Did it even matter? She had no time or energy for another man in her life. Her future was too fragile and uncertain. And there was too much going on with the Stauffers for her to invite anyone into their fragile circle.
Esther raised a hand, smiled, and called out, “You coming, Sadie?”
Sadie paused, then took a deep breath and strode forward. It seemed today was a day to take chances and to believe in herself.
Hopefully things would go as well with Noah as they did with Ada.
Chapter 9
July 12
Sadie looked different. Maybe it was the smile on her face. Maybe it was because she was out in the open instead of on the Stauffers’ property, which Noah privately thought tainted everything in its wake.
Whatever the reason, that glow of happiness surrounding her made her look even prettier, which he hadn’t thought could be possible.
When she got close enough to greet, Noah stepped slightly away from Esther, with whom he’d been chatting. Earlier, after an awkward greeting, Esther had explained to him that she was waiting for Sadie, and then they started chatting—about the weather. Almost as if she hadn’t witnessed her father making it very clear, just a few days ago, that Noah was a person unwelcome in, or even near, their home.
Becau
se Noah wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to see Sadie, he’d chatted about the heat and the sunny skies, too.
And then, there she was.
“Hiya, Sadie,” Noah said as she approached. He knew he sounded far too enthusiastic. “I can’t believe we’re both out in town at the same time.”
“Hello, Noah,” she said formally, wariness entering her expression right before his eyes. She turned to Esther. “I’m sorry that I ran late. Have you been waiting long?”
“No worries. I haven’t been waiting long at all.” Esther smiled. “Besides, I had someone to pass the time with. Noah showed up after I had been standing here only a minute or two.”
Noah held up a canvas bag. “I needed to get some hardware supplies next door. When I saw Esther, I decided to say hello.” Inwardly he cringed. He was saying far too much.
Holding her own bag close to her chest, Sadie swallowed. “Ah.”
Esther smiled. “He caught me off guard, too. When he started talking, I looked around to double-check that he wasn’t talking to some woman behind me.”
“She’s exaggerating,” Noah said. “So . . . how are you?”
“I’m good.” After another awkward moment passed, Sadie shook her head as if to clear it. “Have a nice afternoon, Noah. Me and my cousin were about to go inside.”
Thinking of no way to keep her, he nodded. “I understand. Enjoy your meal.”
“Wait, Noah,” Esther said. “Actually, I was wondering . . . could you do me a favor?”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Well, you see, I just had such a good time talking to my friend Rachel that she wondered if I could stop by her haus and say hello to her mother.” Esther frowned. “She’s ailing, you see.”
Noah wasn’t following. “What do you need from me?”
“I think it would be real awkward if Sadie came along. I was just going to go see her another day. But maybe, if you have time, you could take Sadie home for me?”
“What?” Sadie squeaked.
Noah thought Sadie looked like her cousin had just lost her mind. He didn’t blame her. He was taken aback, too.
Her Fear Page 6
