His gaze became shuttered, the nerve in his jaw worked. “We need to settle this, Alicia. For all our sakes. You know I’ll be good to you and Emily.”
She needed time to think. She needed time to decide whether her love for Jon was enough or if she needed to hear him say the words and mean them. “I’ll give you my answer tomorrow night. After the gala.”
He looked almost relieved. “The ring is yours whether you say yes or no.” He tipped her face toward him and smoothed his thumb along her cheek. “But I want you to say yes, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
Was that love she heard? Or was it the hope in her heart thinking she heard it?
Chapter Ten
Saturday night, Alicia touched the pink chiffon swirling elegantly over her hips. Feeling a little like Cinderella at the ball, she smiled at a comment someone made to the group of women standing with her in the immense foyer of the Wescott Industries office complex. Marilyn had insisted she’d baby-sit Emily tonight. She’d assured Alicia that spending time with her granddaughter was much more important than catching up on the latest gossip.
Soon after they’d arrived at the charity gala, Jon had been monopolized by colleagues, guests and advertisers. Alicia understood this was a business function for him, and in a way, she was grateful she didn’t have to deal with his intense regard, his questioning looks. Because she still didn’t have an answer for him. She didn’t know if she was ready to settle for a marriage with passion but without Jon’s love.
Someone tapped her on the shoulder. Alicia turned to face a woman dressed in black. Her four-inch spike heels brought the top of her head to Alicia’s nose. Her long straight hair swept over one bare shoulder. Extending her hand, the woman said, “Hello, Mrs. Fallon. I’m Valerie Sentara. Could I talk to you for a few minutes?”
Alicia recognized the smoky voice as well as the name. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“I know about your adopted daughter, Jonathan Wescott’s daughter. My article comes out Monday with or without your verification.”
The horrified fear in Alicia’s heart must have shown on her face.
“You didn’t know about the article? I’m sure Adam Hobbs told Jon after I called him.”
Alicia tried to absorb the information that was coming so quickly.
Valerie pressed on. “Cecile Braddock was the mother’s name, correct?”
Alicia calmed herself so she could think. “Where did you get your information?”
“One source leads to another. It’s not as difficult as you might think. Reporters have the same skills as PI’s. There’s a lounge off the foyer. Why don’t we go there and talk.” She took Alicia’s arm to lead her off.
Alicia pulled back and didn’t move a step. “We don’t have anything to talk about. Just make sure you print the truth or we’ll sue.”
The reporter ran her eyes over Alicia, trying to measure her clout. “Let me run the truth by you. Jonathan Wescott has an illegitimate child he has not supported since her birth. He ran her mother out of town—”
“Wrong facts, Ms. Sentara,” Jon interrupted in a sharp voice. “Print that and we will sue. You don’t care about truth, you care about spreading rumors. Well, you’ve gotten hold of the wrong one this time. Every other newspaper in the area will be running the announcement of my engagement to Mrs. Fallon tomorrow. Emily will be a side issue. But you don’t care about stories that turn out well, do you?”
He took the program from the inside pocket of his tuxedo jacket and tapped it on his palm. “This is a private function, Ms. Sentara. I advise you to find your way out before I do it for you.”
The reporter’s face was a mask, but she knew Jon’s threat was a serious one. “An engagement, huh? What do you know?” She gave Jon and Alicia a curt nod and said, “You can’t say I don’t try,” and walked toward the exit with her back straight.
Alicia couldn’t decide if she was more hurt or angry. She did know she was devastated, as if all hope was gone. Jon had asked her to marry him for one reason. And it wasn’t love. Keeping her voice even and controlled, she said, “I have to talk to you.”
He took one look at her expression and agreed. “There’s a room upstairs we can use.”
Alicia had difficulty putting one foot in front of the other. Because she knew what she had to do. The flight of steps seemed like Mount Everest. In silence, Jon ushered her to an elegantly appointed office. Before he closed the door behind them, she reached into her purse and took out the small velvet box.
She held it out to him. “I can’t accept this.”
He was immobile, except for the nerve on his jaw that spoke of his controlled emotion. “I told you it was yours whether you said yes or no.”
Reaching for his hand, the touch of him almost making her cry, she set the box in his palm. “I can’t accept this because it was a bribe, your offer of a handy solution. Why didn’t you tell me about the article?”
He closed his hand around the box slowly. “I didn’t want to upset you. I was heading her off—”
“By asking me to marry you,” she said flatly, wishing it wasn’t true.
“Yes, but—”
Her voice rose as her hurt got the best of her. “There are no buts. I love you, Jon. I love you more than I thought I could ever love any man. But you want to get married for all the wrong reasons. Because of the article, because of Emily. We can’t build a future on that.”
“Of course, we can,” he said angrily. “If you don’t accept, she’ll print that damn garbage.”
“I don’t care about the article. No, I don’t want Emily in the middle of a scandal any more than you do. But I’m not going to marry you to prevent it. If the article goes to press, I’ll deal with it.”
“You have no idea of the reporters who will be on your doorstep.”
She waved the idea away. “I’ll handle them. It’ll blow over in a day or two. A week or two. Or are you more important than that?”
He swore and clenched his fists at his sides. “No, I’m not more important than that. I didn’t want you subjected to the fishbowl. Especially with what she wanted to print. Alicia, you have to understand I would have proposed anyway, eventually. Valerie just gave me a reason to do it sooner.”
“You would have proposed because you want the right kind of family for Emily. Because you want to protect her and take care of her. Well, so do I. But not like this.”
“Alicia…”
“Don’t you understand I feel betrayed? Belittled? You should have told me what was happening. We should have decided together what to do. My marriage to Patrick might not have been passionate, but we had honesty between us. I don’t want a marriage of convenience. I want a true, loving partnership.”
A haunting sadness filled Jon’s eyes. “I thought I was doing what was best for everyone.”
She tried to soothe her aching heart with logic as she fought her tears. “What’s best is for me to take Emily back to Pennsylvania. As soon as I can. I’ll take a taxi back to the house.”
“You will not. I’ll take you back. But you’re not leaving until we talk about this, until you realize you can trust me.”
“Trust you? To what? Keep things from me? That’s not my idea of trust. We don’t have anything else to talk about, Jon. You stay and take care of business. It’ll be easier for both of us.” She hurried out the door before her tears fell.
When Jon returned home, he found the note from his mother on the refrigerator next to a drawing Emily had colored of the ocean. It said simply that she’d taken Alicia to the airport. His stomach churned, his chest hurt and the pounding in his ears was as loud as the ocean at high tide. As loud as Alicia’s voice as she’d said she loved him. His heart clenched on the thought.
He wanted to lash out, hit, swear, but he knew he had no one to blame for this debacle but himself. He’d told Alicia he liked to take charge. Well, he’d taken charge right out of her life.
Going to the cabine
t under the stereo in the living room, he took out a bottle of whiskey that had been there since he moved in. The small shot glass glimmered in the lamplight as he sat on the sofa and filled it to the brim. The liquor’s searing heat burned his throat. As soon as Alicia had walked away from him, he’d known he had to let her go. He had to give her the freedom to choose to stay or go. And she’d gone. The pain was almost unbearable. The loss ate at him until he rested his head against the sofa and closed his eyes.
He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, gazing out the picture window into the moonless night, when his mother opened the door. He should have expected she’d come back here rather than going home. He should have expected she’d want an explanation.
Without speaking, she came in, dropped her purse on the coffee table and sat in the chair across from him. Seeing the bottle of whiskey, she asked, “How many did you have?”
“One. God knows I’d like to down the bottle. But you and I both know that won’t solve any problems.”
Her tone was sympathetic. “No, it won’t.”
“What did Alicia tell you?” he asked gruffly, not blaming her if she’d raked him over the coals.
“Nothing. Just that she had to go home right away. When she found out there was a flight tonight, I couldn’t have kept her here if I’d chained her.”
No recriminations. No demanding an explanation. His mother waited as she had when he was a teenager and had gotten himself into trouble. Raking his hand through his hair, he said, “I blew it.”
“Meaning?”
“My chances with Alicia. I’ve been so careful with her, so damn patient.”
“Why?”
He was quiet for a moment. “Because I wanted to get closer to her.”
“You mean you wanted to get close to Emily.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. From the first moment I saw Alicia, there was this freshness about her. A vulnerability wrapped in strength that intrigued me.”
“I see.”
He went on as if explaining it to himself. “She’s got this smile I can see when I close my eyes, and she challenges me. She doesn’t accept everything I say without question. I can see spending the rest of my life with her so clearly…”
“In other words, you love her,” Marilyn said quietly.
He thought about the words. He thought about the myriad feelings he had every time he was with Alicia—the warmth, the desire, the respect, the need. And he’d been afraid to call it love. Because of Cecile?
That didn’t matter now. Only Alicia mattered and the life they could have together. “She won’t believe me if I say it. Not now. She thinks I want to marry her because of Emily. And Emily’s certainly part of it. But only because Alicia’s such a wonderful mother. I love her for herself, not because she’s Emily’s mother. How can I get her to believe that?”
“You asked Alicia to marry you without telling her you loved her?” Marilyn asked, aghast.
He pushed himself off the sofa and paced to the window. “All right. So I’m an idiot. I knew I wanted to marry her, I just didn’t realize…”
“That you loved her. Just like your father.”
Jon turned at that.
“He couldn’t say the words. They were so hard for him. And I guess you never heard them spoken between us, though I said them in private to him. But I knew he loved me.”
“How did you know?”
“By what he did. How he cared for me. And if you give Alicia some time, maybe she’ll realize it, too. Your dreams aren’t gone, Jon. They might just be postponed for a while.”
Patience was not his strong suit. But this time he couldn’t take charge. He had to wait for some sign from Alicia that she was ready to listen. Because when she was, he was going to give her an earful, every whisper an “I love you.” He might even be willing to shout it if he had to. Whatever was necessary to make her believe he loved her for herself.
Alicia was making a list of all the supplies she’d need for Emily’s birthday party when her daughter came running to the kitchen table with a picture in her hands. “See what I drew?”
Alicia took her daughter onto her lap. “Tell me all about it.”
“It’s you and me and Daddy.”
Alicia’s eyes misted over as they always did when she thought about Jon. It had been four days since she’d flown home. A miserable four days. There’d been no word from Jon. In fact, no word from anybody on the West Coast. Valerie Sentara hadn’t tried to reach her, nor had any other reporter. That puzzled Alicia, but she was relieved she didn’t have to deal with the press, too. Emily had asked enough questions for all of them. Why had they left? When were they going back? Was her Daddy coming to see her soon?
Alicia answered truthfully that she didn’t know any of the answers and tried to distract Emily from missing Jon. She hoped she was more successful with her daughter than she had been with herself. Nothing could distract her from thinking about Jon.
Tears welled in her eyes. Blinking the moisture away so she could examine Emily’s picture, she pointed to each figure’s shoulders. “What are these?”
“Can’t you tell? They’re wings! So all of us can fly from here to Cal-i-for-nya and from Cal-i-for-nya here whenever we want. Then I won’t miss Daddy and he won’t miss you and me.”
The wings of fate had brought Jon to them. Emily missed him as much as Alicia did. She wondered what he was thinking. Did he fear she’d keep Emily from him now? She could never do that; she knew it would hurt him. No matter how it would hurt her, she knew he deserved joint custody. With things the way they were between them, maybe he’d sue for sole custody!
The thought scared her enough to make her say, “I have to make a phone call, honey. Why don’t you draw another picture you can send to Daddy.”
Emily ran to the living room, and Alicia went to the phone. She’d called Adam’s number once before. Flicking it out of her wallet, she dialed. Adam’s secretary put her through. His hello was businesslike.
“This is Alicia Fallon.”
“Yes, my secretary told me. What can I do for you?” he asked politely.
“I’d like you to give a message to Jon. Tell him I won’t fight joint custody. I hate the idea of being away from Emily, but maybe Jon will agree to having her in Los Angeles during summers with visits in between.”
She could hear Adam’s sigh through the line. “Jon’s not suing for any custody, Alicia. He believes Emily belongs with you. But he does want to visit under whatever conditions you set up.”
Relief poured over her like a soothing balm. “I’m grateful Jon loves Emily enough to put her first.”
Adam hesitated then added, “He’s thinking of you, too, Alicia. He cares for you as much as he cares for Emily. It’s a shame you can’t see that.”
Adam’s statement left her speechless. After a mumbled thank you and goodbye, she hung up. Could it be true? Could Jon care about her as much as he cared about his daughter even though he hadn’t said it? How did Adam know? Had Jon told him?
Alicia thought about the time she’d spent with Jon from the first moment he’d appeared on her doorstep. The picnic supper. The vase. Helping her when she was swamped. His kisses. His hugs. His desire. Opening his home to her. Were her own insecurities keeping her from seeing the truth?
There was only one way to find out. She had to risk asking him. Face-to-face. So she could see his expression, and gaze into his eyes. She had the perfect opportunity—Emily’s birthday party. With her heart pounding, she picked up the phone again. Checking her watch, she realized it was late morning in California. Hopefully he’d be in his office.
Again she had to go through a receptionist. She could hardly swallow as she waited. Finally he answered. “Alicia?”
Keeping her voice steady, she said, “I’m having a birthday party for Emily on Saturday evening. Would you like to fly in for it?”
His silence scared her.
“I’ll understand if you’re busy—”
“I’m not busy. What time?”
“Oh, around seven, but you’re welcome to come earlier.”
“I’ll check the flights and let you know.”
She didn’t know what else to say. “That’s fine.”
“Alicia?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
After he said goodbye and hung up, she smiled. Maybe risks weren’t so bad. Maybe she could thank fate and believe in dreams.
Saturday evening, Alicia checked her appearance in a violet-colored romper as well as her watch every five minutes as five six-year-olds besides Emily played Simon Says in her living room. Just as one little girl raised her hand above her head when Simon in the form of Ria didn’t say to do it, and all the girls pointed and squealed, the doorbell rang. Alicia hurried to the door and opened it.
Jon, dressed in yellow slacks and a white polo shirt, looking more handsome than she’d ever seen him, stepped inside with three presents tied with pink and white bows stacked up in front of him. “Sorry, I’m late. Flight was delayed.” His green gaze seemed to swallow her as she absorbed his presence again in her home.
“We waited for you to have the birthday cake. But I’m sure Emily will want to open her presents first.”
“Daddy! Daddy! Mommy told me you were coming.”
He dumped the presents on a chair and lifted his daughter into his arms. “Hi, kiddo. How about a great big hug?”
Her daughter squeezed Jon, and Alicia wished she could do the same. Her nerves were rioting, but she knew she probably wouldn’t have a chance to talk to Jon until the party was over.
As Emily opened the doll and radio-controlled car from Jon and the horse with a long mane and tail that she could comb from Marilyn, Jon’s gaze caught Alicia’s. She thought she saw longing in his eyes, but she couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t sure of anything tonight. Except that she loved him and she was going to find out if he loved her.
Emily blew out her candles and Alicia cut the cake. Everything seemed to take forever. Finally when each child sat at the kitchen table with a piece of cake, assorted snacks and juice, Ria came up beside Alicia and said, “Go down to your office. I’ll take care of these imps.”
Always Daddy Page 15
