by J. J. Bella
He didn’t think too much about it. He got in the car and drove.
The three-hour drive took only two and a half. He was unconcerned with getting speeding tickets, but he didn’t end up getting pulled over. He’d had a lot of time to think during that drive. He knew what he was going to say.
Private investigators generally didn’t do things like go and knock on doors to ask questions. Not in a situation like this where someone didn’t want to be found and things had to be handled carefully. If Amelia really wanted to get away from him, she might take off if she found out he was asking about her. But, he couldn’t wait any longer. He had to take his chances. And he hoped Amelia wasn’t that desperate to get away from him.
He pulled up to the house and knocked on the door. While he drove, he reviewed the file Craig had on Amelia, memorizing as much as he could. He knew her mother’s name, and that would be necessary.
A young man answered the door looking wary.
“Hi there. My name is Sebastian. I’m looking for Amelia Foley. Do you know where she is? Or her mother, Elizabeth? Do you know where she lives? It’s very important that I find Amelia.”
The man eyed him up and down, then looked at his car. “Who are you?”
“Sebastian Farrelli. I’m Amelia’s boss and friend.”
“Hang on.”
He shut the door. Sebastian tried to peak in the windows or hear what was going on, but he couldn’t see or hear anything.
The man came back. “She’s at Mercy West.”
Sebastian pulled his eyebrows together. “I’m sorry, I’m not from here. Is that a hospital?”
“Yep.”
His heart tightened and his throat grew thick. “What happened?”
“You’ll have to ask her. Elizabeth said it was okay to tell you she was there, but that’s it.”
“Are you related to them?”
“I’m Amelia’s cousin.”
Sebastian nodded. “Nice to meet you. Thanks for the information.”
“Sure thing.” He nodded at Sebastian’s car. “Nice ride.”
“Thanks.”
Sebastian got in his car and plugged Mercy West into his phone’s GPS. He drove as fast as he could. His mind spun with possible scenarios.
Had she gotten into a car accident on her way to her mother’s when she was upset and running from him? Was something wrong with the baby? Was it that asshole Jay, coming to take out his anger on her? Or had it been some sort of freak accident?
The ten-minute drive felt like hours. But he finally pulled into the hospital’s parking lot and dashed inside. At the desk, he asked for her and was told she was in room 304. He hurried to the elevator and to her room.
The door to her room was almost closed, and it was dark. He stepped inside and saw Amelia lying in the bed, her eyes closed. A woman sat at her side. Must be her mother.
“Are you Sebastian?” she asked.
He nodded. “What happened? Is she okay?”
Elizabeth stood and motioned for him to go outside. “I didn’t want to wake her with our talking. She lost a lot of blood, and she needs her rest.”
“What happened?” He almost screamed the question. It was killing him to think something could be seriously wrong with her.
“She had a miscarriage.”
Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair. “Oh. Is she okay otherwise? You said she lost a lot of blood? Did they give her more?”
“Yes, physically she’ll be fine. They’re just keeping her tonight to make sure she doesn’t start bleeding again, but she should be going home tomorrow. Emotionally, though, she’s pretty messed up. When she got to my house, she was a wreck with all that had happened.”
Sebastian swallowed hard before speaking. “So… the stress from everything… was that…?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “I suppose it could have played a part, but she’s been under a lot of stress for months. If it was stress related, it’s not anything that you did. She didn’t have proper health care or even proper nutrition or a place to sleep for a few weeks. That might have had more to do with it, but the doctors said sometimes it just happens. It might have been one of those things or it might have been completely unrelated.”
He blew out his breath. He was grateful for her words, but still felt like he might have contributed. The guilt was there, hot in his chest. It wasn’t just because he might have caused it. It was also because, for just a moment, when she’d said “miscarriage,” he was relieved. It wasn’t something serious. Not in his mind. Not something life threatening in most cases. It was almost no big deal except that it was a huge deal to her. She’d just lost a baby. And the more he thought about what it all meant, the more his heart ached. He had, in the last few days, started to think of the possibility that they could be a family. That he might have a child in a few months. Knowing that was gone now gave him a hollow, cold feeling. And it made the guilt burn hotter that for a moment, he’d been only relieved she would live. A life had still been lost today.
“I’d like to go in and sit with her. Be here when she wakes up, if that’s okay,” he said.
“I think that would make her very happy.” Elizabeth touched his arm as he walked past her. “Just know, Sebastian, that she does have feelings for you. If you don’t have feelings back, it’ll be better if you left and sent flowers instead.”
“I understand,” he said, and walked into the room.
He sat by Amelia’s side, then picked up her hand after a few minutes. She looked so peaceful, but he knew when she woke, she wouldn’t feel peaceful.
Amelia
Amelia felt groggy and came out of sleep slowly. It took a minute for her to remember what had happened and where she was. The weight settled on her chest. She felt someone squeeze her hand. Her mother was still there, then. She peeled her eyes open and was shocked to see Sebastian, not her mother, holding her hand.
“Hey there,” he said softly. “How are you feeling?”
“Terrible,” she mumbled.
“Should I call the nurse? Do you need anything?”
She shook her head. “Not like that. I mean, I’m in some pain, but it’s not bad.”
He kissed her hand and gave her a thin smile. “I’m so sorry about the baby. I’m so sorry about a lot of things, but we’ll start there.”
She still couldn’t get over the fact that he was there. “Why are you here? How?”
“I felt so horrible about that night. I went to apologize first thing in the morning, but you were gone. Then you didn’t show up for work. I went out of my mind trying to find you. You’re not very easy to track down having no phone or credit cards. But I couldn’t take it anymore, so I drove out here to the address you put on your application, and your cousin was nice enough to tell me you were here.”
“He did?” That didn’t sound like him to just give out information like that.
“I think he called your mom first. He made me wait before he told me. That or the car impressed him.” He chuckled.
“That’s what won me over. A guy and a nice car does it every time.” She smiled back at him. She couldn’t forget the things he’d said to her the last time saw she him, even if he did say he was coming to apologize.
“This may be the most horrible time to do this, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am for what I said the other night. The thing is, I didn’t even mean most it. I just got scared. I haven’t had a real relationship in so long. I’ve only had these contracts. Women who agreed to be called my girlfriend, be seen with me in public, and go to events when I need her, but that’s it. No emotional attachment at all. Then I started to have real feelings for you. And when I found out about the baby, it was too much for me.”
He paused to take a breath, then continued. “I don’t think you took advantage of me. Quite the opposite, actually. I can’t believe you spent so little from your expense account. You’re not the type of person to take advantage of anybody. You’re a hard worker, and a good worker. But it’s so much
more than that.”
He shook his head and laughed. “I’m so bad at this feelings stuff. I like you, Amelia. I feel things for you I haven’t felt for anyone in a long, long time. That scares me, but I want to move forward. I want to have a future with you. I even started thinking of what it would be like when you had the baby. If maybe we would be like a family. And I was starting to like the idea.”
She stared at him blankly. What was he saying? How could he be saying all this now, after everything he’d said the other day? This was what she had wanted, but that was before he said he didn’t. Did he just change his mind?
“I… don’t know what to say,” she said.
He put his hand to her cheek, then leaned in to kiss her. It was soft and sweet. A gentle kiss. A perfect kiss.
She melted a little, but she was so confused. Her heart wanted to be happy and enjoy this, but she didn’t think she could trust him. What if he changed his mind again? And with everything that happened with the baby, she felt like her whole world had been pulled out from under her.
“Come back with me,” he said. “When you’re ready, of course. Come back to work, come stay with me and let me take care of you. I want to be with you. And be more than friends.”
He kissed her again and when he pulled back, waiting for her to say something, she had to close her eyes to think.
“Sebastian,” she said slowly. “Thank you for coming. You know I’m grateful for all you did, but… I just can’t right now. I’m so… confused with all that’s happened in the last week. I can’t process this all right now.”
He looked hurt and his mouth popped open a little. “Oh. Okay.”
“I’m sorry. I think maybe you should go.”
“Go?”
“I need time to figure this all out.”
“Right. Sure.” He stood and blew out a breath. “I’ll talk to you? Is that okay?”
“I’ll call you.”
“Okay. Feel better. I, uhh… I hope to see you soon.”
She pressed her lips together and watched him walk out the door.
The tears came soon after, and as she curled onto her side, her mother came back in. She put her arms around her and held her while Amelia cried.
Sebastian
Sebastian drove back home feeling dejected and regretful. He really had blown it. He’d found her, sure, but it was too late. After finally finding someone he cared about, after losing her, then finding her, he’d still lost her in the end.
What had he been thinking would happen? He’d show up and rescue her, be the knight in shining armor once again? Had he thought she was that lost and distressed that she’d come running back to him? That he was so amazing and handsome and rich that it wouldn’t matter how he talked to her—she’d be thrilled he showed up and forget everything just because he was there?
How stupid he had been. His arrogance had caused him to lose it all. Now he didn’t know what to do. If he wanted to really care for her how she wanted, then he needed to do what she asked. He needed to give her space and time. No matter how hard that was for him, no matter how badly he wanted to be there for her, he had to do this.
When he got back home, he opened a fresh bottle of Scotch and poured himself a hefty drink. He turned on some mindless TV show and watched and drank. He had no idea what the show was about. He couldn’t stop thinking of Amelia.
Later, he called Craig to give him the update of what he’d found out. “Call me when she’s discharged or if anything changes,” he said.
Then he hung up and poured another drink.
The next morning, he got a phone call shortly after he woke up. “Hey Craig,” he said.
“She was discharged this morning.”
“Thank you. Where is she headed to?”
“Umm, I… I thought you would know that.”
“No. Why would I?” He couldn’t help but feel a little angry. What had Craig been doing all this time?
“You were there with her. I thought she would have told you where she was going.”
Right. He should have asked. He should have at least gotten her mother’s address or phone number, for Pete’s sake. How stupid. Now he had nothing again. He didn’t know where she was or how to contact her. He let out a frustrated grunt.
“I didn’t ask. I’ll need you to find out for me. Her cousin, who lives in her mother’s old house, might tell you something.”
“I’ll see what we can find out.”
If he hadn’t gotten himself drunk and filled with self loathing, he would have driven back there himself. But he also knew she didn’t want to see him. She said she needed time. How much time exactly? He had no idea how long it would take a woman to recover from something like that. Did they ever? Or when would she recover enough to talk to him again? Would she ever?
His mind replayed the loop of everything he’d done wrong. How had he gone from never caring about anyone to caring about someone so much that he couldn’t stand it when he screwed up?
He passed out some time later that afternoon and woke to several missed calls from Craig. He called him back immediately.
“We found her,” he said. “She is with her mother, and we have the correct address. We have confirmed that her car is there, and we have confirmed that she is there.”
“Good.” His head pounded, and he still felt a little drunk. “Send it all to me. Oh, Craig? Make sure whatever hospital bills she might have are taken care of. And… I don’t know. Send them some money? Or something?” He couldn’t even think straight.
“Why don’t I arrange for the household bills to be taken care of and for a grocery delivery service?”
“Yes. That.” Was he slurring his words?
“Sebastian? Are you okay?”
He took a minute to answer. “How long do I wait? She sent me away and said she needed time. How much is that? I don’t know how to do this.” He must still be drunk if he was opening up like this. Craig had been with him for years, but they didn’t have personal conversations like this.
“That’s hard to say. Maybe you can find something to bring her back to you. Do you know what her passion is?”
“Painting. She’s fabulous at it, too.”
“Build her a studio. Fill it with all the best supplies. Make it a painter’s dream. Then let her use whenever she likes without having to go through you to get it. Let it be hers completely. Then see if she comes around.”
“Yeah. A studio…”
He ended the call and got to work. By the end of that week, he had new motivation and had managed to drink much less. He’d hired an architect and consulted with several artists. He’d even shown one painter Amelia’s work and had gotten her a possible spot in an art show next month. If she was ready for that. The studio was located on a corner of his property where she could access it on her own. Construction was well underway, and it would be finished soon.
When everything was done a few weeks later, he put the studio key on an expensive sterling silver keychain and drove to her mother’s house. He stopped to get flowers, then knocked on the door with a nervous heart. She couldn’t turn him down again, could she?
When the door opened, it was her. She looked more beautiful than ever. She seemed happy again, herself again. He broke into a wide smile.
Amelia
Amelia saw Sebastian’s car pull up. What was he doing there? She was shocked to see him. She didn’t think he even knew where she was, though, he had a habit of finding things out. And now that she thought about it, her mother had mentioned something about the bills being paid. Duh. Why hadn’t she realized it was him? Of course it was him.
She answered the door when he knocked, ready to tell him to leave. But then she saw the look on his face and faltered. His smile was so genuine, so beautiful. She stood in the open door and stared at him.
“You look amazing,” he said. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I know you didn’t call, and
I don’t know if it’s been enough time, but I needed to see you. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Come in, I guess.” She stepped aside and gestured to the living room.
They sat on the couch and her mother wandered in a moment later. “Hello Sebastian.”
“Hello Mrs. Foley. Nice to see you under better circumstances.”
“Do I have you to thank for paying my bills?”
He nodded. “I wanted to help in some way.”
“Well, thank you. It has helped a lot.” She must’ve seen the flowers he was holding. “I’ll take those and put them in water.”
She left the room and silence fell between them awkwardly.
“Jacob is really hoping you’ll be coming back soon,” Sebastian said. “You’re one of his best.”
She was glad to hear it, but it made her decision more difficult. “I’ve decided not to return. I’ve had a few interviews. I’m going to stay close to my mother. Now that there’s no baby, I have no reason to try to stay closer to where Jay was.”
“I didn’t realize that’s why you were.”
“It was really hard to be so far from my mom. I wouldn’t have to stay in the shelter if I would have just come home.”
He nodded slowly. “I understand that, but we do want you back. I mean, I want you back. I…” He reached over and took her hands in his. “I know I really screwed up. Please, I’m begging you to forgive me. I want to start over and start something with you. Something real. You said you needed time to figure things out. Did you?”
“I did. And I told you I’m staying here with Mom.”
“I mean about us.”
“If I’m here, I don’t see how there can be an us.”
“We could find a way.”
She shook her head. “You’ve been good to me, but I can’t risk it. I was already in one bad relationship with someone who didn’t know how to be in a relationship. If you’ve never been in a real relationship and have this far of commitment… I can’t get my heart broken like that again.”
