After stuffing a cheese sandwich and an orange for herself and meatballs for Khan into her backpack, Nika called, “Pearl!” She found Pearl in her studio off the living room.
She was painting. Pearl had always illustrated her husband’s books and articles. Now that he was gone, she still painted northern plants and flowers, animals and trees. Pearl looked up. “Everything okay out there?” She smiled and put down her brush.
Nika walked closer. A half-done painting of a moose up to his knees in a pond stood on the easel.
“I love your painting. It’s so watery. But real, too.”
“Some rainy day I’ll teach you,” said Pearl. “So what are your plans for today?”
Nika tried to line up her words. She wanted to tell the truth, just not all of it. “Well, I thought I would take food and some books for my project and just spend the rest of the day with Khan. I’ll be back for dinner.” She shifted her loaded backpack to her other shoulder.
“Fine, dear. I’ll come up around suppertime, and we can bring Khan down together. Those young volunteers are coming.”
“Yeah, I know. Have a nice day. ’Bye!” Nika went through the coolness of the house and out through the screen porch and up the path.
Her stomach felt jittery as she approached the gate. Khan greeted her with his whirling dance, licking and jumping. When he settled down, she opened the gate again and said, “Come, Khan-boy, come, puppy pup, come now . . .” and she trotted to a path that went directly down to the sand spit from the old cabin site. As though Khan did this every day, he trotted along with her, stopping to sniff now and then. He stayed close to her as they approached the sand spit and the inlet. He drank from the lake and started to chase a minnow, so she scooped him up and carried him quickly across the sand spit up to where the woods path split from the main trail. She didn’t want to spend much time visible on the beach. Up the woods path about fifty feet, she put the squirming pup down.
Then she jogged slowly along the trail, calling to the pup now and then. He stayed with her the whole way. When she stopped at a small shady clearing above the beach cove, Khan lay down in the shade, panting. “This will be our rendezvous spot, like wild pups have,” she told him.
Her heart pounded, and she took deep breaths. She couldn’t believe what she had done. The pup had followed her. And he liked it. She felt something well up inside, strength, a wildness, a new sense of being alive. A sense of freedom, like none of the hard things in her past could reach her now. She imagined being with Khan on this spot ten thousand years ago, before airplanes and California, before cabins and books and accidents. She might have been dressed in animal skins. They would have smelled the smells and heard the birds call in a steady rhythmic music of trills and twitters and whistles. They would have hunted side by side and slept in skin tents and helped the family.
The day went by quickly. The weather was perfect, not hot, not cold. Even the insects that had been so bad earlier in the summer were less irritating. Squadrons of blue and neon-green dragonflies stitched through the air like tiny silent helicopters, gobbling mosquitoes and black flies. The wind in the trees was like soft breathing.
Khan was teething and found sticks to chew on and drag around. They played in the shallow water of the sand beach. While Khan dug holes, Nika dug out her journal. Then they both fell asleep in the quiet of the afternoon. After waking, Khan came over to her and rolled at her side, letting his feet flop in the air. Even though he was relaxed, his nose twitched and his eyes darted as the ripple of a red squirrel’s tail vanished in the leaves above them. Nika rubbed his belly. His guard hairs had begun growing in, making him inky black with tiny sprinkles of gray. His woolly undercoat still showed in dirt-colored patches. She took one of his paws in her hands and massaged the rough pads.
“Good boy, Khan. Good little wolf,” she said. The forest breathing with bird song and small breezes felt like home, like what she needed. This place. And Khan. She didn’t know why, but here nothing else mattered and she felt peace fold over her like a blanket.
And for no reason she could think of, Nika started to cry.
Khan cocked his head and perked his ears forward as though he was trying to understand this new thing she was doing. Which just made her cry some more.
When she stopped crying, she laughed. She remembered that Meg had called it “raining on the inside” and said it was good for her. Odd, but she had never cried much right after her mom’s accident. She’d been numb, like when she cut her hand once on a broken glass in the dishpan. The cut was so deep, it didn’t even hurt until after the stitches. The doctor had called it shock. She had felt numb like that after her mom’s accident, when she and Randall had been taken to their empty house to pack some things. The first few nights they’d stayed at Olivia’s—she kept wanting to go home. She had felt numb all through the nightmare of the funeral, when people talked about her and Randall, offered them food, and looked incredibly sad. She had felt numb when they were taken to the first foster home, where kids fought all the time. She’d felt numb in the second, where it had taken them over an hour on the bus to get to their old school. Then the last one before Meg’s. Life became a blur of repacking bags and strange-smelling rooms. Finally they had gone to Meg’s, and Nika had started to feel whole again.
Like now. She took in a deep breath and filled her lungs with pine-fresh air.
When the sun was no longer overhead but slanted through the trees in bands, Nika took out the food she’d brought. Khan gingerly ate his meatballs and dragged the hide over to a bed of pine needles. She finished her sandwich and packed the bag again. When Khan was relieving himself, she grabbed his hide and started to jog for home. If they were going to do this regularly, she’d have to create a routine. The game of “keep up” seemed to work. This time he didn’t even stop on the sand spit but raced up the hill, sailed through the open gate of the enclosure, and splashed into his pool, where he drank and waded, then lowered in the water to drink again. She’d done it. She’d made her own decision, and everything had turned out fine.
Nika didn’t like keeping her run with Khan secret, but when she met Pearl late that afternoon to bring Khan down together, she knew there was no other way. Ian hadn’t wanted her even to take Khan up the path to the pen without a leash. If she told Pearl what she’d done, she might never be able to do it again. Maybe after a while she would explain how well it was working, how the pup had stayed right with her, and everyone would understand.
Everything felt different after that first time running free with Khan on the Big Island. It was the third week of June, and the pup was putting on a half-pound to a pound of weight a day. Although it was becoming harder to get him to hold still enough in the sling scale to get his accurate weight. Dave came to give the first vaccinations. Khan was eating mostly meat now and exploring everything, climbing and chewing. The curious pup had begun to damage things in the screen porch so Elinor had decided he should spend his nights in the larger pen from now on. The pup volunteers would bring sleeping bags and spend nights on the ground.
Keeping track of the pup’s fast development, Nika rarely thought about Pasadena anymore. When she did remember, it was like a familiar video she kept in a drawer, one she knew she could play whenever she wanted. But more and more, Pasadena seemed almost like another planet. What was real was running back from the outhouse feeling the cool wet slap of dewy grass on her legs, the scents of pine and decayed wood. It was all so different from a smoggy morning in Pasadena, where the air smelled like flowers, dust, fruit, lawn mowers, air scorched by overheated car engines, and sun on pavement.
Here, everything was new and wild.
That week went by quickly. On Friday, Nika traveled through the kitchen and smiled at Pearl, accepting an egg sandwich to take in her backpack. She felt jittery and confident today, as if she were at the beginning of a race, or about to take a test when she knew the answers. Today would be their fifth secret jaunt together to the Big Island. Every time it was
better. Khan always stayed right with her. She could hardly wait to go again today
One day the wolf heard scraping on the rocks. Loud men got out of a boat. After they left, she bent her legs and approached the place where they had been. Heads and parts of fish were piled on the long flat ledge of granite. Eagles dropped down to grab bits of fish. She curled her lips up from her teeth and rushed at the large birds. It was not much, but she ate.
Chapter Twelve
Will and Abby were full of tales about how Khan had slept underneath the stuffed bear again, how he didn’t seem to care that most of his rangy black body now stuck out. They showed her digital pictures and reported that he hadn’t eaten much, even though they had mixed his favorite ingredients together with ground moose donated by a hunter. They said they didn’t get a weight because he wouldn’t hold still in the sling scale. Will handed Nika the clipboard with Khan’s weight chart and behavioral observations.
“See you on Monday,” called Abby as they let themselves out. “Isn’t Tuesday the day Ian comes home from St. Paul?”
“Yeah,” Nika called back. “See you guys!”
Just three days until Ian was due back.
Khan was exploding with energy today. He ran to the lookout rock in the pen, circled it, and jetted back, his black body plunging into a full-out run. When he finally came to her, he tugged at Nika’s shoelaces. She rolled him onto his back with her hand on his chest between his front legs. “No, Khan,” she said. Nika had learned to use her hand firmly, like a jaw (a feeble one, compared to a mother wolf, of course). When Khan stopped squirming and submitted, she rubbed his belly, then pulled the leg of a deer from her bag. He grabbed it, leaped to his feet, shook it, and ran with it. There was no meat on it, so it was mostly a toy. After a few minutes of running and flailing the leg, he dug a hole, placed the deer leg in it, and carefully shoveled dirt over one end with his nose, using a quick nodding motion. He looked proud, as though he’d gone to pup school and he was the best in the class at caching.
When Khan seemed to wear down a bit, Nika opened the gate. He flew down the path they always took. Today for the first time she felt a flash of fear as he disappeared from sight. He ran so fast! When she got to the sand spit, he was lying in the water drinking and dipping his nose in up to his eyes, watching a minnow.
“Good boy, Khan pup,” she said, making a click sound with her tongue to attract his attention. He bounded out, shaking off the water from head to tail tip, soaking her. Then they started up the path side by side. Each time they ran together, Nika felt as if she were in a dream, going up a trail in the middle of nowhere with a baby black wolf at her side. How could this really be happening?
When they reached the top of the path, Khan’s ears shot forward, and before she could speak, he stretched his lanky body and was gone in seconds, into the heavy growth of shrubs, wildflowers, and young trees. He was more confident now and wanted to explore on his own. He was probably chasing a red squirrel. He’d be back. Nika continued on their usual route to the clearing above the beach. He’d probably get there before she did.
When she reached the rendezvous spot, Nika looked at her watch. It was nine a.m. By ten she was pacing, watching every flicker of light or change in the shadowed green of the woods. Could a baby wolf get lost? From her reading, Nika knew that wolf pups would follow their mom to a rendezvous spot when they were about eight weeks old, where an older pack member would sometimes stay with them like a babysitter. Khan was over ten weeks old. She’d assumed he would return to their spot.
But by ten-thirty she was calling his name every few minutes and talking extra loud so he could hear her voice. Icy fear sent prickles through her body. What if Khan were injured? It was time to go look for him. She pictured Ian coming home from St. Paul and finding the pup missing.
What could be dangerous to the pup on this island? She had no idea. Maybe other wolves, but she didn’t know of any. The only other animal she knew of on the Big Island was a bear. Would a bear hurt a wolf pup? Maybe.
Nika decided to howl. She headed back toward the spot where Khan had disappeared, howling the loudest and longest howl she could produce. Ian had told her wolves could hear each other up to six miles away, sometimes up to ten miles over open land, depending on conditions. Was Khan’s hearing developed well enough to hear her? She hoped so. Perhaps wind in the trees blocked her feeble human attempts to copy what she’d learned was a pup-locating howl—very high in pitch. She howled from the tops of rocks, from openings in the woods. She hiked in the direction of the Camerons’ but didn’t want to get too close. Then she headed down to the uninhabited end of the island. She bushwhacked through tangles of raspberry and serviceberry bushes, tripped on downed logs hidden in low-growing plants. When she reached a rocky point on the far end of the island, she sat down and looked across the water. Could he have decided to swim? He might have fallen into a pit. Or maybe someone had set traps on this island. Then there was Bristo and his boat and that thought made her feel worst of all.
She was in a galloping panic as she tried another route back to the rendezvous area. Her howl was now thin and scared-sounding. Trembly. Smells of sweet fern erupted as she crushed them with her boots. She howled and walked, howled and walked. She began to feel fear shutting down her muscles. She stopped to calm herself, then she howled again.
Suddenly, from beyond the trees, she heard an answering howl. She cupped her ears with her hands. Another howl. Khan! But it wasn’t Khan, no high-pitched puppy howls and yips—it was too long and low. Then there was a yodel at the end. A person. She heard it again, closer. Could Elinor be looking for them? She decided to walk toward the sound. Even Elinor would be a happy sight right now. She might be mad, but she would help.
Suddenly there was a snapping of branches, and a small dog shot out of the bushes and ran wildly up to her. Zeus! She squatted down to ruffle the little dog’s fluffy coat but kept her eyes on the woods where he’d come from.
More crashing, and Thomas emerged, holding a walking stick in one hand, his backpack hanging loosely from one shoulder.
“Thought you might need the cavalry,” he said with a lopsided smile. “So I went to Pearl’s and borrowed Zeus.”
He stood gazing at her, his lean tan body relaxed but seeming ready to move. Dressed in blue jeans and a white T-shirt, he looked at her from under the visor of his red baseball cap.
“I can’t believe this, Thomas! I really messed up.” Nika sat back in the undergrowth and held her hands over her eyes.
Thomas remained very still, waiting. Zeus nuzzled her arm.
“How did you know?” Nika asked, uncovering her eyes and patting the small dog.
“Well, let’s guess.” Thomas took his baseball cap off and slapped it back on again. “Wild howling all over the island. I could even hear it over the wind. And, no offense, not like real wolf howling. More like human-pretending-to-be-wolf howling. I was trying to sneak up on that bear to catch a photo. I was trying to be very, very quiet. Then, howling. On and on. An hour of howling like that, and it didn’t take a nuclear physicist to figure out that you’d lost Khan.”
“But how did you know I even had him here?”
“I’ve seen you before. I figured it was kind of a secret, so I just stayed away.”
“Can you help me find him?”
“Sure. But next time you bring him, want my advice?”
“Yeah. Well, what?” She felt a little edgy. He was rubbing it in.
“Bring me. More is better.”
“So what do you think happened?” Nika smiled at Thomas.
“Probably he ran into something that scared him, like a porcupine, or maybe the bear, and just hunkered down. Maybe Zeus can find him.”
Thomas whistled, then called to Zeus, “Where’s the pup, Zeus? Find the pup! Find Khan!”
The little dog looked up at the word “find” and immediately did a nosedive into the undergrowth. A wagging black tail above the carpet of green signaled his progress. They s
crambled to keep up.
Zeus climbed higher on the island, over lots of downed trees and steep rock hills.
“I never even go up here,” Thomas said, breathing hard. “Hold up,” he said, “I smell something.” He stopped. “Skunk. Now, that is one animal I’d like to avoid.”
Even Zeus sat down as if he were saying to himself, Been there, done that, no way.
Up higher above the crest of a bare rock face, leaves and branches were shaking. The gurgling croak of a raven came from a tree nearby.
“Uh-oh. Get ready to run,” Thomas said, looking downhill at the tangled way they’d come.
“I don’t think running is one of our options. Flying, maybe,” said Nika, her eyes following his.
Just then Zeus leaped forward into the undergrowth in the direction of the movement.
“No, Zeus, leave it!” shouted Thomas.
But Zeus didn’t. There was a stirring of leaves and rustling just out of their sight. Holding their noses, they braced themselves.
“This could be bad,” said Thomas.
Zeus came romping out of the undergrowth with Khan right behind him. The smell of skunk floated around Khan in a balloon of tainted air.
“Khan! Khan-boy!” exclaimed Nika, excited at first, then forced to hold her nose. “Oh, brother.” She knelt down to briefly greet Khan, wanting him to feel welcome but not wanting to spend a lot of time up close and personal. Her eyes burned from the stench. “It seems to be mostly on his back end, like he decided to get out of there, but too late.” Khan whimper-whined and whirled in greeting.
“Pearl knows what to do,” Thomas said, beginning the steep descent, hurrying away from the stinky pup.
Summer of the Wolves Page 10
