by Robin Gianna
She stayed silent, listening, her heart cracking, a deep dread filling her stomach that this story might end with a tragedy.
A long minute went by before he continued. “I remembered where a rowboat had been tied to a fence, just a few blocks away. It wouldn’t be easy to get there in the fast-moving flood, but I knew I could make it, and hoped like hell nobody else had used it. Figured that, on the way, I’d be able to study the different directions the water was flowing, then bring the boat back. Get them into it, which would be a lot safer than a rickety handmade raft, and easier to steer, too, because there were oars attached. So I told them to stay put on the second floor of the house. That I’d be right back.”
“Oh, Zeke,” she whispered. “What happened?”
“I was so glad to see that the boat was still there, and I rowed it back. It took a long time because the water was rising fast, scary fast, but I was sure that, with the boat, once I got there to pick them up, they’d be okay. The closer I got to the house, the more scared I felt, because I could see the water was way higher than when I’d first left. All the way up to the second floors of houses as I passed. I got there as fast as I could, rowing right up to the second-floor window and tying the boat to the drapes. Went through the window, and the water was up to my chest. I called and swam through the upstairs, but they weren’t there.”
“Oh, my God.” She was afraid to ask where they’d gone, so she kept silent, dreading to hear the rest.
“I got back in the boat and went everywhere, calling for them. Picked up a few other people as I did, and took them to safety. Over the next few days, I kept looking for my grandparents. In the neighborhood, in shelters, followed miles of water and mud, everywhere I could think of. I thought they just didn’t know how to reach me, you know? No cell phones. No power. I figured we’d eventually find each other.”
“But you didn’t.” She didn’t say it as a question. Because the answer was stark on his face.
“I looked for almost month. Wasn’t going to go back to school until I’d found them. Then I finally did.” His eyes lifted to hers. “They were in with the many unclaimed bodies in the morgue.”
Tears thickened her throat and stung her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his body, but he stayed stiff within her embrace. “I’m so sorry. So very sorry. I can’t even imagine what you went through.”
“No, you can’t. Because you’re not a person who would have done what I did. You would have stayed with them, found a way out together. But what did I do? I left. I left them to die.”
“Zeke.” She leaned back, shocked that he would say such a thing, after his heroic efforts in the midst of a nightmare. “You did not leave them to die. You left them to get help. To find a way to get them out. You did the absolute best you could in a terrible situation.”
“Obviously not true.” He lifted his hands to cup her cheeks in his wide palms. “The reason I’ll never have a relationship with a woman, the kind of relationship you’re looking for, that you deserve, is because I didn’t just lose my grandparents. I lost something inside myself. The minute I got back to San Diego, I broke it off with the girl I was dating, because I can’t ever be close to someone again. I don’t want to be.”
“Zeke. The terrible trauma you went through isn’t letting you see with clear vision. Your memories of that awful time are skewed. I know because, even in the short time I’ve known you, you’ve shown the kind of strength and character that anyone would admire. You didn’t leave your grandparents to die. Do you think closing yourself off from ever being close to someone is something they’d want for you?”
“Doesn’t matter. I can’t feel things like that. Care about someone like that. Not anymore. Not ever again.”
His eyes were shadowed with guilt and pain, and her heart squeezed hard in her chest for all he’d been through. Maybe there was nothing she could do to convince him that what she’d said was true. Perhaps all she could accomplish was to make him forget, for at least a short while, the torment he obviously still carried with him from that heartbreaking event.
She leaned forward, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Poured into that kiss the anguish she felt for him, the caring and compassion for all he’d endured, and yes, the deep attraction she’d felt from the first night they’d met.
CHAPTER TEN
THE SECOND HER mouth met his, she realized how much she’d missed kissing him. How foolish she’d been to resist this kind of intimacy with him, only letting herself now because she’d wanted, in some small way, to comfort him.
Except, for a long moment, Zeke didn’t move as she held him in her arms. Didn’t respond. Not pulling away, but not participating, either. She wondered if she’d been wrong to kiss him when he’d just shared such a tragedy with her, and a sliver of regret stabbed her heart. She began to ease back, a wisp of air now between their lips. Until she heard him groan just before his arms wrapped around her, smashed her body close to his, and he kissed her back.
But not with the kind of kiss he’d given her before. It wasn’t the sweet, delicious kiss they’d shared beneath the southern lights. This was intense and unrestrained and felt a little desperate. As though the emotions wrung out of him through sharing the pain of his past were being channeled into the way his mouth moved on hers. Into a passion and desire that would make him forget. Make them both forget, all thoughts gone except for the undeniable chemistry that had crackled between them from the beginning.
His mouth stayed on hers, and stayed, and it felt like they were nearly fused together, her head light, her body hot. Long minutes passed until, through the sensual fog in her mind, she realized the kiss had slowly changed. Had moved from how it had started, a little wild and untamed, to a different kind of emotion. Something more tender. Something deeper. Something intangible that shook her heart in a way that felt both a little scary and special beyond belief.
“Jordan.” His voice unsteady, his mouth left hers to slide down her throat, to the pulse wildly beating there. “I want you. I’ve wanted you from that first minute we met in your cabin. Do you have any idea how hard it was to stop myself kissing you that night?”
“I might. Because I felt that way, too.”
His mouth moved to her ear, nibbling and licking his way back to her mouth for another kiss so heavenly it made her quiver. She felt her heart give an odd little skip, and realized it was from relief as well as pleasure. That she’d been able to help him move past the painful emotions he’d shared, that they could smile together again, felt like the most gratifying thing she’d ever done.
His mouth moved on hers, their tongues tangling as the kiss breathlessly deepened, and for the briefest moment, a question flitted through her brain. Why in the world had she been so hesitant to give in to this thing they shared, and the way he made her feel? At that moment, it absolutely felt meant to be that they’d make love together. That it had been inevitable all along.
With that thought, she decided it should be her who made the first to move in that direction. Unwrapping her arms from around his neck, she reached for the buttons on his shirt. She fumbled with them, distracted by all the heady kissing, and finally got it open, shoving it off his shoulders. He assisted with pulling his arms from the sleeves, and she took advantage of that to slide her fingers beneath the T-shirt he wore under it. To feel his warm skin and the rough hair on his stomach and the way his flesh quivered at her touch made her quiver uncontrollably, too.
The minute the flannel shirt was off, he stripped the next layer from his body, exposing dark skin and rippling muscles. Slowly, she ran her hands over everything she could reach, in near awe at his physical beauty.
“I guess all that diving and heavy equipment is a good workout,” she managed. “Unless it’s working with plankton in the aquarium that makes you so sexy.”
“It’s the plankton. Nothing sexier than plankton.” He reached for the sweatshirt
she wore and pulled it over her head, his eyes glinting as they roamed her torso, his fingertip reaching to slowly stroke across the lace along the top of her bra. “Tell me what makes you so sexy, Dr. Flynn.”
“That I can laparoscopically remove a gallbladder with the precision of a diamond cutter?”
“Ah. I love it when a woman talks dirty to me.”
That familiar teasing grin was back on his face, and she grinned back, only to gasp a second later when he leaned in to place his mouth over her breast, gently sucking on her nipple through her bra. The sensation was so wildly erotic she could hardly breathe, and she held his head against her and moaned.
With her brain capable of no thought other than the incredible way he was making her feel, she considered it a very good thing that he took the initiative to move the two of them around on the small bed. One second she was sitting up, and the next she was lying on her back, staring up into his handsome face before he kissed her. Warm hands roamed over her, slipping off her bra, removing her jeans and underwear, then his own. Then he sat up, looking down at her with a heated gleam in his eyes as he stroked his long fingers slowly across her bare skin, making her gasp and wriggle at how amazingly good that simple touch felt.
Late sunlight streamed through the window, skimming across every muscle on his gloriously naked body and highlighting the proof that he was every bit as aroused as she felt, and her heart stuttered at the image before her.
Wow. If anyone ever asked her if Ezekiel Edwards was a remarkable specimen of manhood, she’d tell them that would be a complete understatement.
“I never realized it until this minute, but... I’m very thankful for plankton.”
He laughed, then leaned down to kiss her again, his mouth sliding across her cheek to nuzzle her neck, then slowly on down to her breast, teasing one at a time. She gasped, then gasped again when his fingers found her core, touching and caressing until she could hardly bear it. Little mewling sounds came from her mouth, but she didn’t even care—all she wanted was more of the way he made her feel.
Her own fingers explored his body, loving touching him as he brought her such unbearable pleasure. His hard, defined muscles, his smooth shoulders, his tight buttocks. She reached to clasp him in her hand, and loved that she made him shudder and groan. Part of her wanted this moment to go on forever, but she wanted him inside her even more.
She wrapped her legs around his hips and he took that as the invitation she’d intended, briefly pausing to take a condom from the bedside drawer and roll it on. When they joined together, they began moving in a rhythm so perfect it was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. Like feeling fused together on that dance floor, but even more incredible. His dark eyes looked into hers with such intensity, such deep desire, and his name left her lips on a heavy sigh.
“Zeke.”
“Jordan,” he whispered back, his hands moving to cup her face before his mouth joined hers once more. He gave, and she gave, both of them taking the pleasure each offered the other in a connection that felt so deep it was nearly unbearable. When they finally shattered, her heart filled with something that felt so big, so special, so unnerving, she feared it might never go quite back to normal again.
* * *
Zeke’s eyes flew open and he abruptly sat up, his heart racing and sweat pouring down his back. He sucked in deep breaths to get himself under control.
The nightmare had been more vivid than usual, and he fought down the panic attack, running his hands up and down his face and rocking back and forth. A small sound had him sitting dead still, and he dropped his hands and opened his eyes.
Jordan. Jordan was asleep, right next to him. Right there.
Memories of the night before seemed to calm the horrible, shaky feeling. Tamped down the panic. His breathing slowed, and got easier. His heart quietly settled into a normal rhythm.
Her long eyelashes fanned her cheeks as she slept, and Zeke looked down at her beautiful face, a peculiar mix of emotions in his chest. From the moment he’d met her, a part of him had wished for this to happen between them, even knowing it shouldn’t. For them to get to know one another, spend time together.
Now that wish had come true, and he wasn’t sure it was the best thing for Jordan. Thinking of what they’d shared last night, of their time diving together and working together, even just watching her sleep, brought a smile to his lips that started deep inside him, near the region of his heart. At the same time, a sharp stab to that same general area reminded him that he had nothing to offer her. That he could never give her that home and roots and happy-ever-after she wanted. Was it wrong for him to want to be with her, knowing all he lacked inside?
He didn’t know. All he knew was that he didn’t want to walk away. Not yet. She knew about his past. And since she did, that meant she also understood his limitations, right?
He heaved a sigh and shook off his worries, for now. Her eyelids flickered and opened. When she looked up at him, the smile that started in their blue depths before forming on her lips had him forgetting about anything but how beautiful she was. About how incredibly lucky he was that she’d decided to be with him. For now.
“Good morning,” she said, reaching up to stroke her finger down his cheek.
“Good morning. I’m glad you seemed to sleep just fine without your eye mask and noise machine.”
“I must have felt exceptionally tired and relaxed, for some reason.”
“Me, too. For some reason.”
He’d become such a sucker for the laughter in her eyes, and leaned over to kiss her again, wishing they had time to lie in bed together for longer. Much longer. To make love for hours. But that would have to wait.
Reluctantly, he dragged his mouth from hers. “Want to come diving with me this morning? I need to get a few more samples to add to my data before I send in the grant application. And you need more data for your parents’ ear device. Otherwise—” he tugged at the sheet covering her delectable body and ran his fingers across her skin, loving the way she wriggled and laughed “—I’d beg you to stay here as long as possible.”
“When are you going?”
“I booked the van for eight-fifteen, and a couple of the new marine biologists and a tender are coming with me.” Since it was after seven now, that was way, way too soon. If he’d known they’d be lying in bed together this morning, he’d never have scheduled it so early. “I already asked them if they’d like to participate in your trial, and everyone was interested.”
“I appreciate that so much. And diving sounds wonderful. But I’m afraid I can’t go with you.” Her lips puckered into a faux pout. “Dr. Bradshaw and the new nurse are traveling on the plane this morning to one of the other stations while the weather is good. He wants to evaluate how our new hospital and clinic compares to theirs, and see if we’re ahead of the curve, or missing something.”
Well, hell. Until she’d said she couldn’t go, he hadn’t even realized how much he wanted to dive with her again. Share her delight and see her amazement at all the Antarctic seas offered divers that they couldn’t see anywhere else. “Will you look for a time in your schedule to go soon, and let me know when? Once I get the grant application finished and sent, I’ll be diving most every day.”
“I will. Believe me, I want to explore that incredible world again. With you.”
The way she was looking at him made his heart beat harder, and he kissed her again, even as he knew he had to get going. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and drew back. “It’s a date. And when I wear the earplugs, you can check my vitals again. Though if you’d recorded them last night, my pulse and respiration would have been off-the-charts elevated.”
“Mine, too.” Her soft laughter sneaked into his chest and made him smile. “And that, Dr. Edwards, is a date I can’t wait too long for.”
That they couldn’t share more than one quick kiss frustrated him beyond be
lief. But the crew would be waiting for him, and he had to go with them to collect the last samples he needed to finish the grant application. He pulled out clothes that would be warm enough for the excursion, letting himself watch Jordan as she got dressed. He admired her slim, athletic physique and her beautiful, smooth skin. Her round bottom and long legs.
Damn. It took all his willpower to keep from stripping off the clothes he’d just put on, to reach for her and kiss her and make love with her again, and to hell with the research.
He fought with his body’s instantaneous reaction and tried to focus. “Want to grab a quick breakfast, before we both go to work?”
“Do you think people will wonder if we spent the night together?”
“I have no idea.” It hadn’t occurred to him that she’d worry about that, but he could see how someone wanting the husband and kids and picket fence might not want anyone to know about a short affair. “Would that bother you?”
Her eyes met his, a slight frown between her brows. Then the frown cleared, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, looking up at him with a clear gaze and look of trust that was gratifying at the same time it sent that stab of worry into his chest all over again. “No. It wouldn’t bother me. No more questioning if it’s a good idea or not. I want to be with you while we’re here together.”
He couldn’t think of a thing to say in return, and even if he had, the tightness in his throat at what she’d said might have made it hard to talk. So he kissed her instead, telling her without words how much it meant to him that she wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. That she understood the limitations of what he could offer.
He looked into her eyes and swallowed hard. “Ready to grab that breakfast?” he asked, his voice gruff from their kiss and the conversation.
“Ready.”
The galley wasn’t crowded yet, and they sat with the men he would be diving with. Jordan talked with them about the earplugs and gave a pack to each of them. The person who would be their tender on this trip, a guy named Lance, showed up to tell them the van was packed and ready to go, and they all stood.
