“I thought—” Robin started.
“If you dare bring up the same comment you did while we went up here, I’m going to slap you,” Tim said.
“But I’m your baby brother,” Robin replied.
“One reason more to do it.”
Peter stopped and slowly turned back, an inquiring look on his face. “Do you hurt him often?”
“What?” Tim asked, stunned.
“I believe I have a right to know whether you hurt my mate often so I can initiate steps to prevent you from continuing to harm Robin.”
Perplexed, Tim stammered, “I… you… what?”
“Tim would never hurt Robin!” Jay interjected.
“But he said he would slap Robin. I cannot allow this,” Peter said.
Tim’s and Jay’s eyes narrowed almost simultaneously before they gazed at Robin, clearly expecting him to solve this misunderstanding. Robin shrugged before he explained, “He takes everything literally.”
To Peter he said, “Tim has never raised his hand against me. He’s probably a saint for all the things he endured while I grew up.”
“Why would he threaten you with bodily harm now?” Peter asked as he scratched his beard.
“That’s how we talk to each other.”
“That is… a strange way of conversing with each other.”
“Now that we’ve cleared the air, how about you get a move on so we can go home?” Jay said. “I need to look after the horses. Dad never liked when anyone else looked after them and the first thing I do after his… his….”
Tim pulled Jay against his chest, cupping the back of his head with one hand. Robin tore his gaze away from them, not wanting to intrude.
Tim and Jay needed space to regroup before they took the steep path downward; the slightest inattentiveness could end in a deathly fall. Why didn’t Peter and his folks find a different way to enter the cave system?
Another thought occurred to him. “How do you get your supplies into the cave? Especially larger objects?”
“We carry them.”
Robin waited for Peter to elaborate further, but nothing came forward. Peter gazed around, probably checking for anything or anyone dangerous.
After clearing his throat, Robin said, “Well, wasn’t that an enlightening answer to my question.”
Peter looked over at him, a small smile appearing on his face. “Two of our clan are able to transport large objects into our cave system. If you need a more thorough explanation, I will introduce you so you can discuss the procedure.”
“Um, okay, but thanks. It’s fine, that absolutely answers my question,” Robin replied.
“Can we go now?” Jay asked.
Peter said, “I’ll go first, then Robin, then Jay, and Tim will be the rear guard.”
“Rear guard? Seriously?” Tim asked.
“Yes, of course. We’re both the dominant partners, which is why one of us needs to be at the front and the other at the rear, so our mates are well protected.”
Peter walked a few steps but stopped when no one followed him. Robin did his best to close his mouth. He darted an embarrassed look at Tim and Jay, who both blinked at Peter.
“I might have mentioned it before, but he’s a bit on the odd side of the spectrum,” Robin said before he hurried after Peter.
“Not so fast, my angel! It’s a dangerous path!”
“Yes, dear. Aren’t you going to hold my hand to ensure my safety?” Robin batted his eyelashes at Peter.
“I would jeopardize your safety if I held your hand. If you keep going slowly you’ll be fine.” Peter turned around.
Robin looked back over his shoulder, grinning at Tim and Jay. They shook their heads, although it seemed neither of them could stop the upward curves of their mouths. Then they followed.
They had only walked a short distance when Peter stopped.
“Hey! Careful here!” Robin said.
“I apologize,” Peter replied “When you asked me to hold your hand, were you serious or did you make a joke?”
“I… can’t it be both?”
“How can it be serious and a joke?”
“That’s easy, but you know, since this isn’t the appropriate time and place, we’ll discuss this later if it’s quite all right with you.”
Robin shifted uneasily from one foot to the other under Peter’s scrutinizing stare. It took him a whole minute to register that Peter was holding out his hand for him. Robin stared at the offered palm. Peter’s hand would be warm, strong, and make him feel safe, which wasn’t a bad feeling while going down this path. It would give Robin something else to concentrate on other than looking down the sheer rock wall to his right side.
“I’d feel safer if you could hold my hand,” Robin whispered as he put his smaller hand into Peter’s.
Robin wanted to stay where he was, to allow the liberating feeling of safety to permeate every cell of his body. How could just the touch of Peter’s hand, the slow rub of his thumb along Robin’s knuckles, do so much for him?
Peter cupped Robin’s cheek with his left hand. “I know, my angel.”
Behind them, Tim coughed. Robin moved his cheek away from Peter’s hand but swiftly pressed a kiss on Peter’s palm, tasting the salt there. Peter turned around again to lead the way while Robin struggled against his impulse to look back and stick out his tongue at his brother.
Don’t you dare say anything! he demanded of Tim.
I won’t.
You sure?
For as long as we’re on this creepy trail, at least, Tim replied.
THEY WALKED down carefully and slowly. Robin had to adjust his steps to Peter’s so he wouldn’t run into him because of their joined hands. At one point Peter stopped and let go, regret shining in his eyes.
“I fear it’s more dangerous to hold your hand than to trust you to go at a steady pace and stay clear of the edge.”
Robin accepted Peter’s words, although that didn’t lessen the lost feeling unfurling in his stomach.
For the rest of their way, they stayed silent. The cold air that had felt so good when they left the cave now pricked Robin’s skin like tiny needles. Robin did his best to ignore the gasp from Jay when a few stones scrunched underneath their boots and a big one broke loose from the path and fell. Robin couldn’t hear when it landed, which was more than he could cope with. With chattering teeth, he told his leg muscles to behave and carry him down the path without incident.
Once they’d reached the end of the trail, all of them sighed. Robin’s tensed-up shoulders relaxed a fraction but only came really down when Peter took hold of his hand again.
Robin darted a quick glance toward Tim and Jay. Tim slid an arm around Jay’s shoulders before kissing his cheek. Jay closed his eyes and it was clearly an effort for him to reopen them. He seemed so hurt and frail when he gazed up into Tim’s eyes that Robin had to take a deep breath.
“Let them be,” Peter murmured.
Caught by surprise, Robin started. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”
“You wanted to go over and support Jayden in a physical way.”
“Why can’t you just say I wanted to hug him?” Robin asked.
“But that’s what I said, isn’t it?”
“In a way, yeah,” Robin admitted. After a moment of quietness, he added, “Did you just trick me into conceding I wanted to do something even though I told you I didn’t?”
A smile tugged at Peter’s lips as he clasped Robin’s hand. “I love how compassionate you are. It warms my heart and shows me you’re right.”
“I’m right? Not that I don’t love you saying I’m right, but about what am I right exactly?”
“That I had lost a part of myself when I froze my compassion. I hope to be able to reconnect with my benevolent side again. Allowing myself to feel for other people and not only you, although you will always be the most important man on earth for me, seems like a much more enjoyable way of living,” Peter replied.
Robin didn’t know w
hat to say, so he opted for silence. He gripped Peter’s hand tighter and was rewarded with another gentle smile.
He couldn’t say it aloud yet, especially not with witnesses around, but the impulse to tell Peter how he felt about him was getting stronger. Their energy net sparkled brightly, some lines erupting into tiny fireworks while others flared and merged together, deepening their bond.
Twenty-Five
ROBIN FLOATED in a happy bubble, not taking in much of the forest they walked through to get to their destination. Mingled with his elation was a thread of guilt, guilt for being happy while Jay suffered and Walter was dead.
Robin sobered up. Would he always feel this way? Or would there be a time where he could relish in the love he had found?
When they finally reached the hidden van, Peter pulled him into his arms. Robin relaxed and enjoyed the deep pressure as well as the knowledge that he belonged to this man. He only lifted his head from Peter’s shoulder because fast footsteps approached them.
In a swift move, Tim positioned Jay behind himself. Peter was about to do the same thing with Robin, but Robin braced against it, causing Peter to glare at him.
“Shawn and Will are coming. Can’t you smell them?” Robin asked.
Peter sniffed before he replied with a sheepish look on his face, “You are right. Again.”
“I like the sound of that.” Robin grinned.
Tim’s shoulders went down after sniffing as well. He was still on guard, though, and remained alert until Will and Shawn broke out of the forest at a fast trot.
Robin barely suppressed a laugh at seeing the smug look of triumph on Shawn’s face. “You made it.”
“Was there any doubt about it?” Shawn quipped.
Peter raised an eyebrow and asked Will, “You’re taking him with you?”
“You are taking Robin with you. It destroyed any argument I could bring up,” Will replied.
“Oh.”
Shawn grinned at Robin. “You smoothed the way for me. Thank you!”
“You’re welcome? I think.”
“Great. Two more of them,” Jay spat.
“What does that mean?” Shawn asked.
“Nothing,” Tim cut in. “Jay just wants to go home.”
“It’s not nothing. They knew. They knew about the hunts. They could have helped and prevented so many deaths!” Jay shouted. Sweat covered Jay’s face and a wild, almost animalistic look appeared in his eyes.
“What’s he talking about?” Shawn asked, gazing from one to the other in search of an answer.
“I’ll explain later,” Peter replied as he walked around the van to unlock it. “Please get inside.”
Robin bit his lower lip when he cast another look toward Jay, who seemed just short of exploding. His energy lines crackled and darkened while he glared from Peter to Will to Shawn.
To set a good example and hopefully diffuse the situation, Robin climbed into the van and held out a hand to Jay. For a short moment, he feared his friend would ignore his gesture. Then a powerful clash between two thick lines of pink and brown happened. Robin closed his eyes against the brightness and when he opened them again, the lines had united.
Jay’s eyes were downcast when he took Robin’s hand. Nonetheless, he scooted close to Robin on the seats. Tim followed, snatched Jay’s other hand, and engulfed it with his much bigger one. Will and Shawn climbed into the van just when Lance and Pamela arrived, panting.
When everyone was seated, Peter closed the door and rounded the car. Once inside, he started the engine and backed out from their cover behind the large thicket of bushes.
THE TENSION inside the car rose the closer they came to the Coxes’ house. Jay held himself stiffly, only the occasional tremor giving away his inner turmoil, and no one spoke for a long time.
As the minutes passed, Will left a grumbling Shawn in the back of the van and climbed in next to Peter on the front seat, which was quite the challenge for such a large man. Robin’s eyes widened when he discovered a rifle clutched in Will’s hands. Jay’s hand twitched in his. Robin turned to Jay, a forced smile on his face.
“Our dad will be here soon,” Robin said.
“That doesn’t revive my father.”
“I know. I just thought—”
“Your father is the one who didn’t get the killings under control when they started. He also didn’t like hybrids much until recently. He wouldn’t have changed his mind if I hadn’t helped your mother,” Jay snapped.
“Our father did everything he could to prevent these hunts! After our mother was injured, they stopped. You can’t blame him for having resentments against hybrids in the first place and he did change his mind,” Tim said.
“Did he really?”
Robin let go of Jay’s hand. Tim stared at Jay and his whole posture went rigid. Jay met his gaze, challenging Tim and obviously bracing for a fight. The van rumbled along the street, almost floating, and the trees of the forest blurred to a greenish mist as they drove past them.
Robin knew Jay was grieving and in the very first stage of his bereavement and—
Realization hit him. He remembered the five stages of grief from a course he’d taken at college: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Jay was in the anger stage, taking his pain and fury out on those he loved. It was a basic human reaction, one Robin could sympathize with.
Tim, don’t argue with him. He’s lashing out because he’s angry.
I can’t let him talk badly about Dad, I—
You don’t have to agree with him, but don’t argue with him. He wants to lash out and hurt us because we’re close to him.
Why would he do that? Tim asked.
He’s grieving. It’s a normal reaction.
Tim raised his eyebrows when he asked, And you know that how?
It was a subject in a class I took last semester.
Oh. Really?
Yes, Robin replied.
I guess… okay, then.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” Jay baited Tim.
“Other than that I love you? No, I don’t think so.”
“You… I….” Jay trailed off, all fight going out of him.
Jay dropped his chin onto his chest before turning sideways to cuddle up to Tim. Tim slipped a hand underneath Jay’s shirt to rub his back.
Robin averted his gaze and wished he could curl up next to Peter, or even better, turn back the clock and undo the events that led to Walter’s death. Tears welled up in his eyes, so he closed them, then pushed his face against his palms. He remained in that position, unseeing, for the rest of the ride.
Finally, Peter stopped the car and cut off the engine in front of the Coxes’ house. Robin lifted his head, perplexed by the sight of his temporary home. Nothing on the outside suggested Walter’s death or Tim’s almost-death had occurred only days ago.
Peter and Will got out first, both holding guns in their hands. A couple of men approached them, causing Robin to tense. Peter and Will shook hands with them, so they probably belonged to their… clan… people… whatever. After a brief exchange of words, Peter beckoned the others to leave the van as well.
Shawn and Pam exited before Tim, Jay, and Robin. Jay seemed to be reluctant to leave the van even though he had been the one who wanted to go home so desperately a short while ago. Tim kept Jay’s hand in his as he climbed out of the car, his eyes scanning the area. Robin followed and closed the door behind him.
“Let’s go inside,” Will said. “Easier to protect.”
They all started in the direction of the front door when a loud whicker caught their attention. They turned toward the pasture where Starlight pranced along the fence, throwing her head back, her white coat glistening in the sunlight, and repeated her greeting.
“You’ve been missed,” Tim said softly to Jay. “Want to go to her?”
Jay nodded, life seeming to come back into his eyes and lightening their color.
Will started to say, “I don’t thi
nk it’s a good idea to…” but trailed off when Peter laid a hand on his shoulder.
“You go inside; I’ll keep guard over them. Robin—”
“—will be right at your side,” Robin completed.
“Of course,” Peter replied after a short moment of hesitation. He crooked a finger at the three men that had stayed at the Coxes’ house, and they immediately swarmed out to occupy strategic positions.
Robin and Peter followed Jay and Tim at a reasonable distance. Starlight stretched her head toward Jay, neighing a greeting. Jay put one hand against her nose and his other against her neck, patting her. She leaned into his touch and gently pushed her big head into his belly. Jay made a surprised sound before he adjusted his stance to keep his balance. Even from a distance, Robin detected a small, genuine smile on Jay’s face.
More horses approached the fence wanting to be patted and rubbed. Jay’s smile grew broader and his eyes lit up in their usual way.
Slowly, Robin walked up to the fence with Peter in tow and asked Jay, “Do you want to ride?”
Tim and Peter tensed, coercing Robin into adding, “Just in the corral, I mean.”
The light in Jay’s eyes dimmed a bit as he looked from one man to the other. Eventually Jay asked Peter, “Did your men exercise them?”
Peter shook his head, a doubtful expression on his face. “I don’t think so. They did all the necessary chores, but nothing more. Their task was to guard your property and set up everything for the funeral.”
Jay wilted; his energy lines dulled to a bleak, muddied mishmash of colors. The sudden change in Jay’s demeanor obviously surprised Tim but then his energy lines burst into Jay’s, feeding them in a breathtaking tempo and intensity. Robin wished Tim could see their energy net as he was sure Tim would use the knowledge in the best way possible.
Jay gasped. Starlight reared, as did the other horses. Spooked, they cantered away. At a safe distance, they huddled together, sometimes prancing and whinnying.
“Maybe we should talk about my dad’s… funeral first,” Jay choked out. His gaze darted from the surrounding energy lines over to Robin before he stammered, “S-something scared the horses. It’s better we leave them alone for a while anyway.”
Secret Energy (Shifters Book 2) Page 18
