Matt

by R. C. Ryan

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You tackling ranch chores before dawn. You riding up alone to the range shack as often as you can get away.”

  “That’s nothing new. I’ve always taken my alone time there.”

  “In the past, that alone time renewed your spirit, son. Now it has the opposite effect. You come back sad and quiet.”

  “There’s not much to laugh about these days.”

  “Things around here are the same as they’ve always been. Nothing’s changed. Not the ranch chores or the family business. Not even the small-town gossip. The only thing that’s changed is you.”

  As Matt opened his mouth to speak, Burke held up a hand. “And don’t try to deny it.”

  Matt looked away before nodding. “Yeah. I know what you’re saying, Burke. But I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “You can call her.”

  “I tried that. She never answers. That tells me she doesn’t want to hear from me. Besides, what can I say to her except that I’m sorry?”

  “You’ve got to stop carrying that load of guilt. It’s weighing you down, son, and all of us along with you.”

  “I can’t let it go. Don’t you think I try to stop playing that scenario over every day in my mind? I was the one who asked you to keep the wranglers away from the cabin so Nessa and I could have some time alone. It was foolish and selfish, and Nessa nearly paid with her life.”

  “Son, I think there’s something you need to know. Everybody here knew what you and that pretty little lady were feeling long before the two of you did. So when you asked me to give you some space, I said I would, but that doesn’t mean I called off the wranglers.”

  Matt’s head came up. “You didn’t?”

  The old man grinned. “I knew what the two of you were planning on doing, and it didn’t involve leaving that cabin. So I left the wranglers in place, right where they’d always been, guarding the lady.”

  “Then how…?”

  “What none of us had counted on was having those Chicago thugs discover that old abandoned cattle trail, which they used to sneak up on the cabin, and which they’d probably hoped to use as their getaway, once they realized it was deep in wilderness. While we were watching for them, they were already in place, watching us. They spotted the guards, and to draw them away, they slit the throats of a dozen or so head of cattle. They knew once their dirty deed was discovered, the wranglers would ride out in search of the perpetrators. And that’s exactly what happened. Even though we were nearby, our attention was on the herd, and not on the two of you in that cabin, as it should have been. Even when they shot you, the sound was drowned out by the lowing of cattle. If they hadn’t shoved you and your truck over the ravine and caused that explosion, we wouldn’t have known about their attack until hours later.”

  The shock Matt was feeling was evident in his eyes. “You’re not just saying this to ease my guilt?”

  “It wasn’t your fault, son. You and Nessa did what any couple in love would do.” Burke clapped a hand on his shoulder. “If you want to blame it on something, blame it on fate or timing or just plain bad luck.”

  Without another word the old cowboy ambled out of the barn, leaving Matt alone to mull all that he’d learned.

  As he continued mucking stalls, Matt felt a measure of relief as some of the guilt began to slip away. But though these facts eased his guilt, nothing would change the fact that Vanessa didn’t want to speak to him.

  He swore under his breath.

  He hoped the worst of her wounds had healed.

  He hoped she’d been able to put behind her all the fear and pain she’d been forced to endure.

  He hoped, desperately, that now that she was back to her old life in Chicago, she would think of him from time to time, and remember the love they’d shared.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  After a long weekend up in the hills, Matt could feel old Beau straining to make a run for the barn. Instead he held the horse to a slow walk. His gelding might have been eager to return to the comfort of home, but Matt’s heart was still at the range shack. There was no longer anything to come home to.

  He’d seen the way his family tiptoed around him. He was weary of being the object of so much sympathy. He wanted things back where they’d once been. A happy, carefree family, a successful ranch business, a sense that he was making a difference.

  But he had no idea how to make it happen. Ever since Nessa’s abduction, he’d been feeling the way he had when he was twelve, learning of his parents’ death on that snow-covered road. Broken somehow, and wondering how to put the pieces of his life back together.

  Once in the barn he took his time rubbing down his mount, then filling the troughs with feed and water, before making his way to the back door of the house.

  The day had grown uncomfortably warm, and Matt, his shirt plastered to his back, was glad for the coolness of the mudroom.

  As he began washing at the big sink, he could hear voices raised in laughter somewhere in the house.

  He stepped into the kitchen, where the wonderful aromas of bread baking and meat roasting had his mouth watering, though Yancy was nowhere to be seen. Instead of heading toward the voices, he made his way upstairs to shower.

  Half an hour later, dressed in fresh jeans and a clean denim shirt, he helped himself to a longneck from a tray on the kitchen counter and followed the sound of laughter to the great room.

  In the doorway, with the bottle halfway to his mouth, he stopped and simply stared.

  It was a scene he’d been a part of all his life. His family, loudly trying to talk over one another, as they shared the events of their day.

  Luke, with his hair in a ponytail and a rough beard from his week with the herd, was telling them about a mustang stallion he’d spotted in a highland meadow.

  Reed, also bearded, hair past his shoulders, was tipping up a longneck and suggesting that their grandmother ought to investigate, since it sounded like the white stallion she’d been trailing for over a year.

  Nelson, seated in a chair next to Frank, was telling him about his latest foray into town. Someone had actually asked for his autograph, and the old man had been flattered and delighted to comply.

  Though they were all talking and laughing, Matt didn’t hear a thing, except an odd buzzing in his brain.

  Standing in the midst of them was a vision.

  She was wearing something prim and businesslike. A silk jacket and trim skirt. Her hair was soft and loose and spilling down to her shoulders.

  Vanessa.

  He knew he was imagining her. She looked as she had that first time he’d met her. A young professional, looking a little too intense, but doing her best to be bright and cheerful while getting her interview concluded so she could return home.

  He blinked, but the image didn’t dissolve. Instead she turned and stared directly at him, and he felt the quick sizzle of recognition clear across the room.

  “It took you long enough, sonny boy.” Frank moved aside to reveal a tall man wearing a suit and tie. “Look who’s come all the way from Chicago to see us.”

  “There was no car outside.”

  Reed chuckled. “I got a call to pick up some passengers from a private jet in town.” He waved a hand. “And look who I found.”

  “Elliott Kettering,” the man said, extending his hand.

  “Mr. Kettering.” Matt moved woodenly across the room to offer a handshake.

  “Call me Elliott. I want to thank you for all you did for my daughter. Not to mention what you did for her terrified father. It’s beyond measure.”

  “I did what I could.”

  “According to my daughter, you were superhuman. After surviving both a bullet and a fiery crash, instead of sending for a doctor, as any sane man would, you just kept pushing through your pain until you found where those animals were holding Vanessa. Then, she told me, you endured even more beatings.”

  “Vanessa was the one who saved the day. If not for her q
uick thinking, I’d be dead now.”

  Elliott cleared his throat. “I’m here because Nessa threatened murder and mayhem until I agreed to bring her here. I tried my best to put her in a bubble and keep her away from the big, bad world, but once she realized what I was up to, she was having none of it. She let me know, in very clear language, what she thought of my tactics.” He paused before adding, “I believe she has some things she wants to say.”

  Matt looked over at Vanessa, standing so still and quiet. He had to swallow twice. “You look good. You’re healed.”

  “And so are you, I see.” She started across the room and halted in front of him. “I’m told you tried calling me. Several hundred times.”

  He was aware that the others had gone completely silent. “I understand why you ignored me.”

  She arched a brow. “You do?”

  “You needed to make a clean break. You needed time to get back to your life. The real one, not the one you were forced to live here.”

  “Is that what you think? That all of this was forced on me, and I was just going along, making the best of things?”

  “No need to deny it. I was a witness when you learned about the threat to your safety.”

  She clenched her hands at her sides. “That’s how it all started. And yes, I admit that I had a few bad moments.” She dragged in a breath. “But then, everything changed.”

  “I’m sorry.” Matt set aside his beer to give himself a moment to look away. The pain of seeing her, and not being able to touch her, was almost more than he could bear. But if he touched her, he’d never be able to stop. He would simply devour her. He would have to fill himself with her until he was sated. And so he stood, ramrod straight, forcing himself to breathe in and out.

  “Sorry for what, Matt?”

  “The pain you suffered. The fear. The danger. I thought I could keep it from you. But it was my carelessness that allowed it to touch you. To hurt you.”

  “You make it sound as though you’re the one who kidnapped me and forced me to be with you.”

  “I…”

  She put a hand on his and he was rooted to the spot, though he thought about stepping back, away from the heat. Away from the current of pure electricity that sizzled through his veins. But he needed the heat more than he’d realized, and so he stayed, feeling the touch of her all the way to his shattered heart.

  “I was with you because that was where I wanted to be.” She looked into his eyes. “Where I needed to be. And everything that followed can’t be allowed to erase what we have, Matt.”

  He chose his words carefully, aware they had an audience. “I know that when two people get caught up in…forces they can’t control, they sometimes forget for a while that they come from very different worlds. Seeing you up in the hills, sharing that once-in-a-lifetime experience with Grace and a herd of wild horses, I forgot that you were only here for a little while, and that sooner or later you would need to return to the very satisfying life you’ve made for yourself in the city.”

  “I see.” She nodded. “So when I didn’t return your calls, you decided, in your infinite wisdom, that like my father, you know what’s best for me.”

  His eyes narrowed slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Elliott gave an exasperated sigh. “There was a time, right after I got Vanessa back home, that I said exactly what you just said, Matt. I figured in a few days she would put the danger, and all this foolishness about spending the rest of her life on a ranch in Montana, out of her mind, so she could get back to being my successful, well-adjusted daughter. And when she insisted that she loved you, I decided that she was confusing gratitude with love.”

  Matt’s gaze was fixed on Vanessa. “You loved me? You’ve talked about spending the rest of your life on a ranch?”

  “Isn’t that what you led me to believe? Or was everything we shared up in that cabin a lie?”

  His tone lowered. Softened. “It was real. At least for me. But what about you? What about your career?”

  “I represent wildlife organizations. You can’t get more wildlife than here.”

  “You represent them in Washington, DC.”

  She lifted her chin a fraction. “Matthew Malloy, I know you understand the function of airplanes. I believe you use them to fly all over the world. When I’m needed in DC, I’ll go. And then I’ll fly back home.” She emphasized the word.

  “Home? Here? You’d do that? You’d give up your life in the city—?”

  She stopped him with a finger to his lips. “Stop talking about what I’d give up. Why don’t you ask what I want in return?”

  He caught her wrist and shook his head. “You’ve seen my life. What you’ll get is hard, never-ending work. Long, frigid winters and hot, sticky summers. And more work than anyone should ever have to do.”

  “What I’ll get in return is this big, loud, fun family.” She looked at the faces, some smiling, some somber, staring back at her. “I’d have brothers. Grandparents. A great-grandfather.” She grinned at Burke and Yancy. “My very own bodyguard and cook.” She turned to him, and this time she touched a hand to his chest. Over his heart. “And best of all, I’d have my very own cowboy. A cowboy, I should add, who makes my heart go crazy every time he looks at me. Who fills my life with so much sizzle.”

  Matt had gone as still as a statue, afraid to speak, or breathe, or even blink.

  Luke broke the silence. “You’d better grab the girl fast, bro, or Reed and I are going to draw straws to see which one of us gets to take your place.”

  The laughter that followed managed to penetrate the fog that seemed to have clouded Matt’s brain. In an imitation of their grandfather he drawled, “Find your own girl, sonny boy.”

  He turned to Vanessa. “Is that why you’re here? To declare your feelings?”

  “Can’t you see? I’m wearing them on my sleeve.” Her voice grew soft. “Cowboy, in case you’ve forgotten, I learned my lesson when I was just a teen. I’m not going to be discouraged by a few setbacks. Whether you reject me or not, whether my father fights me every step of the way, I came to dance. I’m not leaving without it.”

  Hearing the hoots and catcalls from his rowdy brothers, he shoved open the door. “Would you mind if we took this to another room?”

  Turning their backs on their audience, they walked stiffly, side by side, into the kitchen, trying not to touch.

  Once they were safely inside the empty room Matt dragged her into the circle of his arms and poured himself into a kiss like a starving man. She returned his kisses with wild abandon, her arms around his neck, her body straining toward his.

  They were so close they were nearly crawling inside each other’s skin.

  When they finally came up for air, hearts racing, breathing ragged, Nessa batted her lashes at him. “Now that’s what I’m talking about. It was worth flying halfway across the country for just that.”

  “That’s still not enough.” Matt caught her hands in his. “There’s still one thing missing.”

  Matt dropped to his knees. “I want you to know I’d crawl over hot coals for you.” He stared into her eyes. “Nessa, I’m not a man who likes to beg, but please marry me. I give you my word, whenever my crazy family or the isolation of Montana gets too much for you, I’ll take you away to any place in the world, as long as you promise to never leave me again.”

  She framed his face with her hands. “Oh Matt. This is the easiest promise I’ve ever made.”

  “Is that a yes?” He got to his feet and pressed his lips to the top of her head, breathing her in.

  “Yes. Yes. Yes.” As she stood on tiptoe and crushed her mouth over his, the door burst open and the entire family toppled against one another as they fell inside.

  “Sorry.” It was Nelson, trying to regain his dignity after being caught leaning on the door. He moved aside to make room for all the bodies spilling into the room. “We wanted to be sure we didn’t miss a thing.”

  Matt was grinning. “You not
ice the rest of them didn’t even bother to apologize. You’re all shameless.”

  “Even you, Dad?”

  At Nessa’s words, her father managed a sheepish grin. “The Malloy family is a bad influence on me.”

  “They seem to have that effect on both of us.” Vanessa held Matt’s hand before turning to all of them. “Now it’s my turn to apologize. I know I’ve behaved shamelessly. I should be sorry about it, but I was afraid that if I didn’t bully my father into bringing me here to apologize for hiding Matt’s phone calls from me, Matt would just slip further and further away.”

  Luke burst into laughter. “I’m just glad somebody knew how to get him out of that dark place he’s been in.” He turned to Matt. “Good to see you smile again, sonny boy.”

  Gracie hurried over to gather Vanessa into her arms for a warm embrace. “At last I get to welcome another woman into this family.” She held the young woman a little away before saying, “I hope this doesn’t sound too bold, but we’d be honored if you and Matthew would have your wedding here on our ranch.”

  Vanessa looked suddenly shy. “Nothing would make me happier.”

  “Here?” Elliott looked confused. “What about all our friends in Chicago?”

  Vanessa crossed to him and touched a hand to his cheek. “I could say it’s punishment for keeping Matt’s calls a secret. But the truth is, Dad, that as much as I love you and our life together in Chicago, I’ve learned to love this place, too. It’s become a second home to me.

  “Besides, I’d really love to show off my new lifestyle to my friends. I know I can persuade my BFF Lauren to be my maid of honor on a real, honest-to-goodness Montana ranch.” She looked pleadingly at her father. “Am I asking too much?”

  Elliott gave a gentle shake of his head. “All I want is your happiness, Nessa.”

  Yancy was already rubbing his hands together. “I’d love to put together the finest banquet anyone’s ever tasted.”

  Grace was elated. “This is more than I could ever hope for.”

  Frank joined her to whisper, “I’m so glad you’re here, Nessa Girl.”

  While Luke and Reed pumped Matt’s hand and hugged his bride-to-be, Burke waited until Nessa and the others gathered around her father before putting a gnarled hand on Matt’s shoulder. “It does my heart good to see you two together. It’s where you both belong.”