by LS Anders
She caught the door on the rebound and stepped out, hissing at his retreating back like the venomous snake she actually was. “Asshole!”
“Cunt!” he volleyed back. Wow, he'd dropped a C-bomb. The one word he usually refrained from using because he always felt it was beyond vulgar, but in this case, it was warranted.
He stomped right past the elevators, thinking it wouldn’t be conducive to the grand finale of his explosive exit to have to wait for the elevator car’s arrival like a total dork while she was still hurling insults at him. As he hit the emergency stairway, he was surprised at all that had come out of his own mouth. Had he really said “load your mama should have swallowed”? Under different circumstances he would have laughed at that.
By the time he slung open the door to the ground level, he was absolutely furious from having replayed that confrontation over and over so many times in his head that he was blinded from everything else around him.
He had always been gullible when it came to women, whether it was caused from his somewhat sheltered upbringing or his lack of experience in the relationship arena, but you would think he would have lost some of that gullibility after ten years in NYC.
Apparently not! He chided himself.
As far as women went, he by no means was a man-whore but had had his fair share of willing women. Except for Regina. But all that had happened over the last decade, ever since he had surpassed that gangly, underdeveloped stage of his high school years and even though he was now well-built and sought after, he had never lost that self-conscious lanky boy who still resided just beneath the surface.
Tegan had always told him he was too trusting and needed to hide his huge heart, but whatever the reason, he sure as hell didn’t need some snippy little carpet licker pointing out the obvious to him. He never would have guessed that was the way this shit would have played out. He figured she would act hurt and they would say goodbye and that would be it. Never did he expect to face a crazy lesbian… lesbian?
He tried to rub some of the sting from her point of impact, knowing there had to be a hand print left behind, like his very own neon sign with an arrow pointing down at him that read dumbass. Jesus, he felt like a total fool. Maybe he should go back and thank her for slapping some sense into him.
It was all perfectly clear now, with the no sex thing. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t copped to it before. Was she right, that he should only have himself to blame because he had allowed himself to be used? Was she right about him throwing away his career, too? No! He wasn’t even going to entertain the idea that she was right about anything.
He was done with modeling, he knew it. As much time as he had spent pondering the idea of quitting, he knew he was doing the right thing for him. Besides, he had enough money squirreled away that he didn’t have to make it as a photographer. He had enough to live off very comfortably for the rest of his life and then some.
He had wanted to pursue a career in photography for as long as he could remember, but his life had taken a lucrative detour. He was glad for it, but he had also learned a great deal about the true nature of people along the way, most of it not very palatable. He was amazed and disgusted to learn that most people were selfish and out for their own personal gain, but he obviously hadn’t learned as much as he thought he had.
Was he so desperate for companionship that he had turned a blind eye to her charade? What he needed was a good dose of Tegan’s cynicism. No, the man wasn’t cynical, he was a realist! Tegan had also been right. That girl possessed no feelings, and you couldn’t hurt someone’s feelings if they didn’t have any feelings to hurt. Vehn was so glad he had ripped that Band-Aid off.
He wished her the best… Yeah, whatever!
He had no idea how long it would take him to make it back to his building on foot since he usually had a driver for safety reasons and that had been his first time visiting her apartment. But he’d bet he was making damn good time; his long legs were eating up the distance as fast as his mind played one scene after another from his year-long bogus relationship with that user.
Vehn's mind was so overwhelmed with the images that they nearly blocked out all his surroundings. Stopping momentarily at the blinking don’t walk sign, he let his subconscious lead the way.
His mood was so foul it rivaled the repugnant stench from the week-old garbage piled haphazardly in the alleys he passed. The frozen misty precipitation that had begun to fall clung to his lashes, an irritant he simply blinked away. The honking of horns from the sea of yellow cabs and endless NYC traffic went unheard, even the squeal of the tires of the car that almost hit him or the exhaust that burned his throat with every inhale went unnoticed. He didn’t see the people that turned to look as he passed, no doubt recognizing him... nor the photographer who followed close on his heels.
* * *
By the time he reached his 5th floor penthouse, his anger had turned to rage. The door slammed so hard in his wake, he was afraid to look back to see if he had cracked the damn thing.
Tegan appeared at the top of the stairs, looking ready to face off with whatever catastrophe had just occurred.
“What the fuck, Vehn? Was that the door slamming? It sounded like a bomb went off.”
“I need a fucking drink. Like, fucking now.” Vehn barely spared him a glance as he pounded out a path from the wall of glass to the opposite end of the living room and back.
“It’s only two in the afternoon.”
Vehn nailed him to the floor with a brutal stare.
Undaunted, Tegan returned it with one of his own. Glacial blue vs. ocean green. Vehn knew Tegan could do this all fucking day, and the guy looked like he needed to work out some pent-up aggression with a little throw down.
“You mind telling me what the fuck is going on?” Tegan’s shoulders bunched up under his t-shirt as he crossed his muscled arms over his thick chest, his gaze remaining fixed on Vehn.
Vehn sized him up before changing his mind about fucking with Tegan. Not that he was a pussy, but that gorilla had “C’mon, motherfucker, pick a fight!” written all over his puss. Vehn knew by Tegan's aggressive posturing that starting an altercation with his best friend would not be a good idea, because all it would get him would be a face-down in an immobile position until he tapped out. There would be no point, and it would just serve to piss him off even further.
“Regina! That’s what. I’ll tell you the whole story, but not before I get a couple of shots of something in me first.” Vehn finally broke the eye contact, running his hands through his hair and fisting it close to his scalp.
Tegan poured them both two fingers of scotch… then made it three. Handing Vehn the glass, he could feel the guy’s glacial blues zero in on the side of his face, no doubt studying Regina’s handiwork.
Vehn slammed back the scotch in one gulp. Tegan exchanged his full glass for Vehn’s empty, raising a brow as he swallowed that one whole, too.
Resuming the established path he was pounding out in the living room, Vehn let the now empty glass dangle from his fingertips. It was a good thing only their bedrooms and media room were beneath them, because there was no doubt the cops would have already been called by some really pissed-off neighbors.
“She’s a lesbian!” Vehn pushed out through his clenched teeth.
“What? Who?” Tegan questioned.
“She was planning on breaking up with me. Me!” Vehn said more to himself than Tegan, who was now back at the bar making himself another drink. “Can you believe that shit?”
Vehn continued to force out more fragments of information that he knew Tegan wasn’t tracking, but it made him feel better to spew it all out.
Eventually, he ran out of steam, collapsing onto the leather sofa. Or maybe it was from the buzz that had finally kicked in after consuming two healthy glasses of single malt scotch in less than 60 seconds.
Tegan took a seat opposite Vehn in an arm chair, waiting for him to feel chatty again.
“Thanks for listening, man. Sorry abo
ut all that,” Vehn said, waving his hand through the air.
“Honestly, I’m not really sure what all that was. I hate to ask for a rehash, but can you shed a little more light? All I got out of all that was that you're pissed off at Regina, a lesbian, and I’m guessing one of the two left that hand print on your face.”
Vehn scrubbed both his hands hard across his face.
“Can I get a refill first?” he asked, holding out his empty glass for Tegan to take. The guy didn’t seem to mind playing barmaid.
Grabbing his now full glass, Vehn took a fortifying gulp of the amber liquid before continuing. “The shit with Regina is way worse than I originally thought. That little conniving cunt is a lesbian. Not only did she use me to get recognition for her career, but she lied about her sexuality and pretended to be interested in me. She even said it was my fault that I allowed her to use me. Who the fuck does that? There’s got to be a mental illness already named for some crazy shit like that.”
“Jesus.”
Vehn leaned back against the cushions, cradling his drink to his chest and momentarily shutting his eyes.
“Well, at least you got it over with and you don’t ever have to deal with her again. Just put it behind you. Don’t think about it anymore. It’s done.”
Vehn's liquor-laden eyeballs felt glassy. He could literally feel them floating in their sockets, swimming in Tegan’s direction. ”Do you think I'm doing the right thing giving all this up?” he asked, motioning around with his glass.
“You gotta do what's right for you. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. And you sure as fuck shouldn't listen to anything that bitch has to say. Besides, what are you actually giving up?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess. She said I was gullible, and she's right. I should have seen her coming. Oh my God, I feel like such a dumbass,” Vehn sighed, sitting forward.
“You’ve always been gullible, but that doesn’t make it all right for her to fuck with you,” Tegan commented, propping his ankle on his knee. “You’re too damn trusting, Vehn, but don’t let that stupid bitch change who you are. You just gotta learn to not take people at face value. Start questioning other people’s motives. Make ‘em earn your trust and stop freely giving it. You need to protect that big heart of yours, because one day the right girl will come along, and she will deserve it.”
Vehn sat dumbfounded at his friend’s sound advice. Not that Tegan ever gave bad advice, but compliments weren’t usually in his vernacular.
“If I could go back in time, I never would have signed that damn modeling contract. I really just want to be a normal guy again.”
“Sorry, bro, you’ll never be able to go back to the way your life was before the modeling; it’s just not possible. I mean, it's not like you're gonna become un-famous overnight,” Tegan pointed out. “So, make your fame work for you and do what makes you happy. You always jump at the chance to participate in charities and fundraisers; you should do more of that shit.”
“You’re right. That was the best part about my whole career. I’ll definitely do that,” Vehn agreed, nodding. “I know you fuck with me about having my picture taken in my underwear, but it’s brutal work, man, plus long hours in not-so-perfect conditions. I’ll never forget this shoot we did on the beach in Versilia. The water was freezing. I was in that shit for hours. My balls were so cold by the time the shoot was over, they actually turned blue! I had to stand in a hot shower forever just to get the feeling back.”
“TMI, bro.”
“Seriously, it sucks, and I'm so done with it.”
“Then, there's your answer. You’re definitely doing the right thing by retiring,” Tegan said.
“You’re right again, T. Thanks.” Vehn beamed.
“For what? You figured it out all by yourself, man,” Tegan said, waving away the gratitude.
“For listening and not judging. For treating me like a real person.”
“Anytime.” Tegan began to squirm under the emotional pressure.
“Annnnnnnd, let’s not forget that kickass Halloween party your anti-social ass managed to get us invited to next weekend. So, what are you going as?”
“Myself,” Tegan declared.
“What the... you can't go as yourself, dumbass. You said costume and mask required.”
“I'll wear biker clothes. Done!” Tegan flashed a rare grin just wide enough to flash his teeth.
“No, not done. What are you gonna use as a mask?” Vehn smirked, thinking he had one-upped Tegan.
“A fake beard and sunglasses.” He smugly tipped his glass.
The past week crept by as if it had been dipped in molasses, then dragged through a football field-sized expanse of red clay mud by an eighty-thousand-year old man crawling on all fours before landing in some quick sand… but, Saturday had finally arrived!
Vehn had been bouncing off the walls, impatiently waiting for the night of the Halloween party at 49 Grove Lounge from the very second Tegan had texted him during his first day of work asking him if he wanted to go.
He couldn’t get his coat and shoes on fast enough as he rushed to the costume store on 14th Street, practically running the entire way like a little kid. But he didn’t care if he was acting childish. He was too excited about getting to be just another anonymous party goer since the host had a mask requirement for all attendees. Plus, this was a much-needed distraction from the cluster-fucked break up he had recently endured with Regina.
He could tell his excited chattering about everyone he would meet and how no one would know who he was since he’d be wearing a mask had worn thin on Tegan’s last nerve most of the week. His friend had somehow managed not to ball-gag him and lock him in a closet, most likely because the guy had gotten a taste of what Vehn suffered every time he tried to do anything in public and felt sorry for him.
Their attempt to grab a burger at the microbrew joint on Tegan’s first night in NYC had turned into them tossing back their beers and getting their food orders to go because Vehn had been immediately recognized as they’d entered.
Interestingly, as the week wore on, Tegan had begun grumbling about some blonde named Rayna that he worked with and had become preoccupied with his own thoughts, virtually ignoring Vehn. This only added to Vehn’s impatience to get to that damn party. He was practically foaming at the mouth to meet the object of Tegan’s new obsession.
As the car began to slow, the sight of 49 Grove Lounge had Vehn unbuckling his seat belt.
“You gonna wait until the car comes to a complete stop or you gonna just jump out now?” Tegan drawled without looking across the seat at Vehn.
“Funny coming from a guy who already has his hand on the door handle,” Vehn tossed back.
“Just want to open my own door before your driver does it for me,” Tegan bitched. The second the car came to a stop, he climbed out of the back seat leaving open the door. “I already feel like a damn fool wearing this fake ass beard and riding in the back of this Mercedes Maybach S600 in biker clothes like a Village People reject.”
“The costume was your choice, dude,” Vehn said, hopping out the same side as Tegan. “And there was no way in hell I was gonna ride bitch on your Harley.”
“Don’t call me dude,” Tegan warned, giving Vehn a once over before slipping on his black sunglasses as Vehn adjusted his Spiderman mask.
Vehn noticed Tegan’s perusal, kicking up his chin. “Jealous? It's not too late, you know. We can have my driver take us to the party store and get you a different costume.”
“Pfft. You wish I looked as stupid as you,” Tegan teased.
Vehn just laughed at the jab knowing Tegan was referring to the camel-toe he had unknowingly paraded through the living room when he’d first put on the form-fitting costume.
“So, who am I supposed to be again?”
“Pfft!” Tegan huffed, and Vehn knew behind those blacked-out lenses there was some serious eye rolling going on, as if he had actually forgotten who he was pretending to be.
&nb
sp; They had already concocted a story. Vehn would be introduced by his middle name, Lee, an old friend of Tegan’s that was trying to break into the competitive world of photography in the Big Apple. Talk about a costume! Vehn was rocking the whole secret identity thing.
He was glad of it, too, especially after Tegan had forewarned him about one of the women he worked with being the queen of all fangirls. He was planning to steer way clear of any of that shit!
Vehn followed Tegan through the velvet ropes to the entrance and flashed the ticket to the bouncer in the monkey suit. His adrenaline spiked as the guy opened the way and they entered the main lounge area.
It all looked the same as the last time he was here except for the eerie theatrical smoke rolling across the floor and the Halloween decorations. It had the same soft blue mood lighting, same type of club music thumping in the background, same comfy secluded alcoves with wall-to-wall couches flanked with heavy pinioned back drapery, same flickering fake candles attached to the walls and on the tables reflecting ever changing patterns on the low-slung ceiling.
Vehn had been to 49 Grove Lounge a few other times for various functions, but this time was going to be entirely different. No one would know who he was. He would be just another party goer that was lucky enough to have scored a ticket to the exclusive party.
He could mingle, and people would talk to him because they wanted to, not because of who he was. When he was Vehn, girls never turned him down. Men would kiss his ass. He never could really tell if people truly liked him or not because they always plastered that fake smile on their faces and catered to him, and he kind of wished some girl would tell him to fuck off. He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. Anything could happen tonight, and he couldn’t wait to get started!
Their hosts, Kimberlin and his wife, greeted them as they entered. Introductions were made and they headed into the crowd to find a place to chill and grab a drink. Being the first of their group to arrive, Tegan thought it would be a good idea to occupy some premium space at the bar for some serious people watching until the others got there.
