by Janet Dailey
She set pen and paper aside and went online instead, researching financial aid packages until her head ached. No one was going to hand her the money to go to college. She would either have to earn it, or qualify for aid. The first option was impossible. The second was quickly turning into Plan D. As in Dad.
Jacquie spent an hour composing an e-mail that ended up being only three sentences long. She wasn’t going to whine or beg, but she still felt she was humbling herself. She kept deleting drafts until she got it right, then summoned up her courage and clicked SEND.
By evening, she’d left Robbie to his homework in the living room, and the men to another conversation in the study. Jacquie bundled up and went outside, staying near the house. Its glowing, unshaded windows were the only spots of light in the dark landscape. She wandered over to the corral and found a bucket she could sit on, flipping it upside down. The clank of the handle reached the ears of a horse inside the barn, who gave a brief whinny, as if expecting a delivery of oats.
Jacquie set the bucket in the dry dirt by a fence post and sat down, leaning her back against the post and looking up at the stars that filled the sky, clear but dark. The last traces of cloud cover were being dragged away by the wind, a constant presence in the winter months.
Over to the east, the lights of a large jet high above seemed to push the stars aside, flying steadily on through the night. It was heading west, she thought. Probably to Los Angeles. Her plans to settle there and start a whole new life seemed so strange now, as if some other person had that notion and started down that road.
Jacquie shivered as she watched the jet fly away.
Chapter 14
“Let’s go to Tucson,” Choya said a couple days later. “Just you and me.”
Jacquie looked up, startled, from behind her laptop and around a stack of textbooks and papers. She couldn’t fathom why he was asking, but she really wanted to take him up on it. She was thoroughly sick of what she was doing. Christmas vacation had begun for the local school system and Robbie was underfoot every minute of the day.
“Tucson? You mean civilization? Sign me up.” She regretted her sarcastic remark when she looked at all three of the Barnett males. They were in cahoots, she realized. In a nice way.
“I mean shopping,” Choya said calmly.
“Yeah,” Robbie chimed in. “You need some new stuff for your bedroom.”
“I do? Like what?”
It dawned on her that Choya was trying to make up for galloping away from her the other day. The kiss, interrupted, had been more frustrating than not. She hadn’t been particularly friendly to him since. Of course, there were other reasons her mood hadn’t improved. She hadn’t heard from her father. She couldn’t request that an official copy of her university transcript be sent to Tucson until her application was filed. And she hadn’t finished the essay for that.
The little boy shrugged. “You know, like inferior decorating stuff.”
Choya burst out laughing. “That’s interior decorating, son. And Jacquie gets to buy the best. Nothing inferior for her.”
“No arguments, Jacquie,” Sam said with rough friendliness. “You’re going to the biggest mall in Tucson. That room needs something.” He pondered for a few seconds. “It doesn’t have any curtains. You get some of them ruffled ones and a comforter to match. And anything else your heart desires. Consider it a Christmas present in advance from me and Robbie.”
“Yeah, and we want you to get a nice picture for the wall too.” Robbie slid a look toward his father. “Can I tell her?”
“Go right ahead.”
“I was going to loan you my snakes-and-reptiles poster but Dad said you wouldn’t like it.”
Jacquie smiled at him. “It looks great in your bedroom, Robbie. But I don’t need anything new for mine. It’s okay like it is.”
Choya shook his head. “No, it isn’t. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”
Jacquie began to shut down her laptop but Robbie squeezed in next to her and peered into the screen. “Can I look up stuff while you’re gone?”
He was allowed to use the new computer in his father’s study and he was careful with it. Jacquie agreed with a nod. She’d activated the child-safe software program as soon as she’d come back from Dallas and he couldn’t stumble across anything inappropriate. “Okay. But you have to keep it right here on the kitchen table,” she told him. “Don’t download anything and don’t change the settings.”
“I’ll watch him,” Sam offered. “Maybe he can teach me a few new tricks.”
Robbie took Jacquie’s place when she got up. “It’s easy, Gramps. But you have to sit next to me.”
“Can I check my e-mail?” Sam asked, changing chairs.
Choya gave him a surprised look. “I didn’t know you had e-mail.”
“Like the kid says, it’s easy.” Sam’s wrinkled face creased into a smile.
The drive from the ranch to the highway was made in silence, but the mood was relaxed.
“Seemed to me you might be getting cabin fever,” Choya finally remarked.
“Not really. I’m just—oh, I don’t know. Out of sorts.”
“Robbie never leaves you alone.”
“You noticed. But he’s still a great kid. Just a little clingy.” She looked out the window.
“That’s not your fault, Jacquie. Tell me if he bothers you.” Choya’s profile was stern. He didn’t turn to glance at her.
“I can handle him.”
“Disciplining him is my responsibility.”
She didn’t want to argue with that. But she didn’t want to get Robbie in trouble either. “It’s not that big of a problem. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. They had it to themselves. Absently, she studied the unvarying landscape. It seemed the same, unlike the Arizona sky above, which changed constantly, different every time she lifted her head.
She lowered her seat back to look up now, trying to spot a golden eagle. She’d seen them fly over the mostly wild land of the ranch, soaring high above the scrub. She was getting better at spotting the prey they hunted when she was out—jackrabbits with pricked ears and smaller furry critters that scuffled and hid. The desert was nowhere near as empty as she’d thought. But nothing in it was cuddly or cute. Still, she’d come to understand it to some degree and even admire the toughness of its inhabitants.
Like Choya. He’d been on his best behavior since she’d come back, but he was still Choya. Lean and strong and wild himself. She couldn’t rationalize away his powerful sensual attraction or resist it. Jacquie closed her eyes after a while. She drifted off without knowing it.
“Hey, sleeping beauty,” she heard his low voice say. He reached out a hand and stroked her jeans-clad thigh. The sensation of his touch brought her back to full consciousness. She clasped his hand to make him stop, then, impulsively, lifted it to her lips to brush a kiss on the back of it.
He looked at her, startled, and put both hands on the wheel again. “Don’t make me swerve.”
Jacquie had to laugh. “Pay attention, please.”
“You don’t make it easy.”
“Want me to drive?” She raised her seat back up and leaned over the dashboard to see that they were well away from the ranch.
“Nope. I like driving. It helps me think.”
She teased him by running a fingertip around his ear and tugging on the lobe. “What were you thinking while I was asleep?”
“That you’re beautiful and that I’m lucky.” He didn’t say anything else. They’d come to the highway on-ramp and a semi roared by where it joined the main road, followed by several cars. He merged the jeep into the flow of traffic.
In another half hour, they were getting close to Tucson. He pointed to a low ridge that was home to an expensivelooking subdivision. “That used to be Barnett land,” he said. “Sam sold it when I was in high school.”
Jacquie’s eyes widened. The handsome stucco houses were surrounded by
native plantings and many had pools. It was hard to imagine that the ridge had ever been the lonely place Sam had told her about. She looked her fill until they’d whizzed by, then sat back, keeping her mouth shut. What had happened to Choya was in the past. Let it stay there.
He drove several more miles into Tucson and made a left on a wide street that led into a very large parking lot. All the way Jacquie had fought the odd feeling of being closed in. Weird, she thought, considering how often she’d shopped in downtown Dallas and at the huge malls near it. Living on the ranch had imperceptibly changed her and she hadn’t known it.
Walking through the parking lot, which was filled with Christmas shoppers, felt even more odd. The smooth asphalt under her boot soles had no give and no grit. The circling drivers searching for places to park seemed rushed and harassed, jockeying madly for spaces as they opened up. A red-faced man yelled soundlessly through his windshield at another driver, then pulled ahead of him, zooming out of the lot.
It was nothing out of the ordinary. But it felt all wrong to her. Choya seemed to know it. He took her elbow and guided her quickly to the wide glass portals of the mall.
Inside they encountered a full-blast festival of good cheer. Giant garlands and outsized decorations hung everywhere. The swarming crowds didn’t seem to hear the piped-in carols, but Jacquie wanted to cover her ears. If this was civilization, she’d changed her mind about it.
Choya didn’t seem too comfortable with the noise level either. He stopped only to consult the mall map on the kiosk and led the way to an escalator, striding off at the top and heading into a department store.
“Whew.” Jacquie blew out her breath. “Where are we?”
Choya looked around. “In the right place. How did I do that?”
A display of fake windows glowed with opaque light, showing off the different types of curtains. Beyond it was the bed-and-bath area.
“Let’s look around.” She took his arm and glanced at the curtains without stopping at any of the displays as they walked. The puffy, perfectly made-up beds looked a lot more enticing.
Choya grinned at an extravagant model covered in fake spotted fur and heaped with satin pillows. “Look at that. We should try to get locked in the store overnight.”
Jacquie rested her head on his arm. “We could use a little privacy.”
“I’m working on that,” he said seriously.
She patted another comforter, liking its velvety softness and subtle color. “This is pretty.”
“You want it, buy it. One way or another, that bedroom needs a do-over. I can’t wait until you move in to mine.”
An elderly lady overheard and shot Choya a beadyeyed look of disapproval, but that wasn’t why the casual remark gave Jacquie pause. She hadn’t wanted to discuss that subject with him until they had reached agreement on a lot of other things. And she certainly didn’t want to get into it on the sales floor of a busy department store.
“Right,” she said, just as casually. “Well, this other comforter is just as nice. And it’s cheaper.” She didn’t really look at her choice, just pulled a packaged one in twin size from the shelves, and handed it to him.
They completed their purchases, including curtains with no ruffles, without saying much more. After picking out Jacquie’s gifts for Robbie and Sam, they threaded through the mall crowds to get back to the parking lot and the jeep. Choya tossed the bags into the back and slid behind the wheel. “Want to get something to eat?”
She shook her head. “It’s so crowded here. Let’s just go, okay?” she coaxed him. “I’ve had enough. I just want to get home.”
He liked the sound of that. She’d said the word as though it was the most natural thing in the world to call his ranch her home. They were getting somewhere. Choya turned the key in the ignition and put the car in gear, backing out fast.
“Want to pick a tree?”
Jacquie looked at Choya, then his son, who’d asked the eager question. She hadn’t planned to go into Tombstone after the trip to Tucson, but there was no reason they couldn’t. Its small-town friendliness might be the antidote she needed right now. “Choya?”
He set the department store bags onto one of the kitchen chairs. “We might as well. It’s not dark yet.”
Robbie grabbed her hand and tugged on it. “Jacquie, say yes!”
Choya shook his head in reproof, and the little boy stepped back. “I mean, if you’re not tired or anything,” he added.
“No. Your dad did all the driving. But what about your grandfather?”
“He told me to pick the biggest one,” Robbie said importantly.
“All right. Let’s go.”
The ride to town seemed to take no time, what with Robbie’s excitement. As soon as they were parked in front of the feed store, he clambered out and ran in.
“He’s going straight through to the back,” Choya said. “That’s where they keep the trees.”
He got out and so did Jacquie, brushing her windblown hair out of her face. “Where are you going?”
Choya was walking around the side of the wood-shingled building. “Follow me.”
She took a hairbrush from her purse and drew it quickly through her blond locks, then walked quickly to catch up with him. There was an animal pen at the side of the feed store and in it was a rotund, black-faced sheep, calmly chewing a wisp of hay while a teenaged girl combed burrs and bits of twigs out of its thick white wool. Jacquie, no expert on barnyard animals, guessed from the absence of horns that the sheep was a ewe.
“Jacquie, meet Ashley. And this is Old Nelly.” Choya scratched the sheep’s knobby head. The black ears twitched. Nelly’s eyes closed halfway as she stood, blissed out and motionless.
“Looks like she likes that,” Jacquie said to Choya. “Hello, Ashley.”
“Hi.” The teenager smiled and waved the grooming comb. “You can watch if you want. Nothing bothers her.”
“I thought Nelly might be here,” he told Jacquie. “Did your uncle bring her in from the ranch, Ashley?”
The girl nodded. “Yeah. She always likes the ride. I’m getting her ready to rehearse with the Sunday school kids for the Christmas show,” she told Jacquie. “Nelly’s in the manger scene.”
“Does she really need to rehearse?” Choya asked teasingly. “She does the same thing every year.”
“That’s what my mom says,” Ashley laughed. “Nelly was born to just stand there. That’s all she ever does.”
The placid sheep lived up to her reputation while they chatted a bit more.
“Is Robbie in the show?” Jacquie asked. Choya hadn’t mentioned it before now.
“No. But we always go. He likes to watch his pals onstage.”
Robbie came running around the back side of the feed store and around to them, crashing into his father’s leg on purpose. “Dad, they have a super-huge tree! Can we buy it?”
“Whoa, son. Let’s look at it first.” He waved good-bye to Ashley. “See you at the church. When is the show, by the way?”
“Eight o’clock. The night before Christmas Eve. Same as always.”
Nelly blinked and stood in place, watching the three of them walk away.
Robbie ran ahead, stopping in front of the tallest tree on the lot. The feed store clerk came over to them. “Hi, Choya. And you must be Jacquie. I’m Nate.”
“Hello.” She was still a little surprised by the way the locals all seemed to know her name, even ones she’d never met. But their interest suddenly felt like a warm welcome, especially after the impersonal bustle of the city.
“So,” Nate said, “Robbie told me you all want to buy a tree.”
“This one, this one!”
“Robbie, pipe down.” Choya steered him toward the feed store’s back door. “Go count the cowbells behind the counter and stay out of trouble.”
“Aw, Dad—”
“I’ll go in with him,” Jacquie said quickly. Robbie took her hand to drag her away, but not before Choya caught her eye. She read his si
lent question and nodded. The giant tree was definitely okay with her.
The interior of the store was dim by comparison with the clear winter sunlight outside. She let her eyes adjust, then spotted Robbie, who’d let go of her hand to chat with the woman at the counter. Sure enough, a collection of antique, hand-hammered cowbells adorned the wall behind her.
“My dad says I have to count the bells,” Robbie told her.
“Does he?” the woman asked kindly. Jacquie guessed at a family relationship between her and the girl grooming the sheep. Despite the intervening years, there was a definite resemblance between them.
“You go right ahead and count,” the woman was saying to Robbie. “I don’t even know how many there are myself.”
The boy began, getting as far as seventeen, when Choya came back and ruffled Robbie’s hair. “We did the deal. You got your tree.”
“Thanks, Dad!” He forgot all about the cowbells and dashed outside again.
“Is that going to fit on top of the jeep?” Jacquie asked.
“Most of it will.” Choya put an arm around her shoulders to lead her out. The woman looked at them with avid interest and said good-bye with a smile, which Jacquie returned. She wondered how long it would take before all of Tombstone heard about who just bought the biggest tree on the lot.
Sam had the ornament boxes ready and waiting when they got home. Choya held the massive tree by the trunk, carrying most of its weight as Jacquie steered the top through the door.
“Where’s the stand?” Choya asked his father.
“I found that too,” Sam assured him. “It’s in the living room.”
Getting the tree set up straight took a while but the four of them managed it. Small enough to crawl underneath, Robbie filled the stand with water from a big plastic bottle and crawled back out.
Jacquie stepped back to admire it. Undecorated, the tree was a deep, dark green that emanated the fragrance of pine. Its branches were still pointing up, fresh and sharp-needled.
