Sam jumps up from the couch and runs over to me. She throws her arms around my shoulders so hard it knocks the wind out of me. I reach around slowly and hug her back, and I feel her body gently shake.
She lets go and pulls away. “Dad would have been proud to call you his son. He would have loved you then, and he would love you now,” she says through the tears with a smile on her face. “If Dad believed in anything, it was love.” She looks away from me and over to Missy. She, too, has tears running down her face.
“We all love you, Tate. And you never have to live alone in the darkness again.”
I smile over at her, and I know she’s telling me the truth. The clouds have cleared and all I can see is the sun staring back at me. I would rather go blind, knowing that the sun beats down on me, than live in the darkness freezing to death.
EPILOGUE
TATE
I look at my ring finger as my hand grips the steering wheel. Missy’s name written in black ink covers the skin. I have marked my body since I turned eighteen, trying to cover up memories of my childhood. Trying to hide from the world what still lingers in my mind. But this one…I wanted something on me that represented good in my life—love!
Although we’re not married yet our wedding is only weeks away. The girls have been busy for the last two months getting all the details worked out for our special day. I once told her that I wanted her to share her pain with me. After we got back from Alaska I told her I wanted to get a tattoo. I got the same one that she has scripted down her side for our baby, on my chest. She cried when they did it, and she cried even harder when I told them to tattoo her name on my finger. She’s it for me and it took her almost dying for me to realize that.
I look over at her sitting in the passenger seat as she slowly rubs her flat belly. We found out yesterday that we are expecting a baby. We didn’t even think it was possible. Her fibroids have been under control with her hormones but the doctor said it would be impossible for her to get pregnant. Well, turns out it’s possible. And it scares the hell out of me. I’m not ready to be a dad. Not the kind of dad our child deserves anyway. But Missy feels differently. She has always believed in me.
I slowly come to a stop and she opens the passenger door before she grabs the flowers that sit on the center console. I get out as well and follow her through the soft grass. Markings are placed all over the ten acre lot that show memory of loved ones, and I feel my heart break for my wife for the hundredth time. I can never repay her for not being here when she needed me the most. But I vowed to her, in front of God and our friends and family, that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that time.
Missy comes to a stop as she stands in front of a small angel tombstone. I come up beside her and place my arm around her, pulling her into my side. I look down at the angel made of stone and there is the same script that is now inked into my chest along with her side.
Even though you’re no longer here with me. My love for you will always be.
I turn to her. “I never asked you why you chose purple,” I say softly. That is the only ink I have that’s not black. I had it shaded purple to match hers.
She slowly turns and looks up at me. “Because purple is a color for a girl or a boy.” She bites her bottom lip and I see the tears start to fill her eyes. “What would you have wanted, a boy or a girl?”
I smile down at her as I reach and wipe the tear away. “It wouldn’t have mattered,” I say truthfully. “Any piece of you would have been beautiful and special.”
She leans into me and takes in a deep breath. “I dream about it. I dream of you and our little boy in the backyard playing with a football. Then I dream that you’re in our daughter’s pink room having a tea party,” she says quietly. Her voice wavers, and I know she’s feeling her heartbreak all over again.
She pulls away from me and leans down, placing the flowers on the ground in front of the angel. “Mommy and Daddy love you,” she whispers. “And we will never forget you. Our little Angel in heaven.”
I never really believed in God. When I was a young boy huddled up in the corner, I begged for him to save me and my mother from the monster that called himself Daddy. But now—now I know he exists. He gave me this beautiful woman in front of me who was able to see through what I couldn’t. All my life I’ve fought myself from what I had no control over. She taught me to fight for something. For us as a couple. For her. And most importantly, myself. She made me realize that I had something worth giving. And after all that fighting, God rewarded me. And my reward was her. Forever and always.
I thought she was my weakness, but it turns out she was my strength. The strength that keeps me looking forward everyday instead of what lies behind us. And for that I will always tell her how much she means to me and just how much I love her.
THE END
Make sure to keep an eye out for Parker’s book, Unpredictable. Coming soon! Add it to your TBR list on Goodreads.
Acknowledgments
First I would like to thank Jenny Sims. Jenny my wonderful editor. I love you to pieces, girl. Thank you for all the help. You are truly amazing!!! I know I can be crazy and there’s times you can’t even understand what I’m trying to write lol but together we get it figured out.
I want to thank my assistant Amanda Wooden. You make the best teasers, woman! And I thank you for wanting to be a part of this journey with me. We’re gonna have so much fun. Love you, hard.
I want to thank my best friend and Author Casey Peeler who also runs Hardcover Therapy. If you have not read her books you need to-like NOW! She’s an amazing author and friend. Casey you’ve been with me from the start girl and we got a long road ahead of us. Love you and thank you for all that you do.
I want to thank Sommer Stein at Perfect Pearl Creative for making me such beautiful covers. Love you! And can’t wait to see what you do for me in the future.
The wonderful photographer Allan Spiers who took this beautiful picture that I was able to use for my cover. You are gifted and I look forward to working with you again.
My cover model Travis Tardiff. Thank you for allowing me to use one of your photos for Tate’s book. I’m honored to have you on his cover.
A big thank you to Author Liv Morris and her husband Damon for formatting it for me on such short notice. I always seem to be doing this last minute while I freak out about release day. Thank you so much guys.
I want to thank my wonderful swag lady and friend Jolinda Bivens at Swagilicious. You make me whatever I want even if it is kind of off the wall and sexually crazy. LOL You always make me smile and laugh. Love you.
I have met some wonderful authors along my way. Such as; Abby Kerber, Sarah Dosher, Harper Sloan, along with my others. They have not only given me advice, but they have also become great friends. Thank you for answering all my questions, no matter how stupid they were, and for just wanting to visit on any given day.
I also recently wrote a novella for an anthology that involved some wonderful and talented authors: Abigail Lee, Kasey Milstead, Casey Peeler, Dee Avail, Morgan Jane, Nina Levine, Rebecca Brooke and Vicki Green. Thanks ladies for allowing me to be a part of Bad Boys of Romance-a Biker Anthology. I had a blast and love all of you ladies.
I also want to thank all of the bloggers who are involved with my cover reveals, release days and blog tours. There are too many to mention but thank you! You help get word out about my books and take time out of your busy schedules to read my words. I love you all for that.
I want to thank all of my family members who support my dream and encourage me every day. I love you all.
To my husband who is always there for me-I love you, Jason.
Thank you to my beta readers: Lisa EB, Amanda Wooden, Danielle Sanchez, Becky Anderson, Shauna Ambriz, Heather Szczesiak, Barabara Dunham, Gemma Garcia, Steffani Joann and Helena Cole. You ladies help me more than you know. I apologize for the late night messages and crazy thoughts that I run by you all. Lol I love each and every one of you. T
hanks for always being there.
I want to thank my awesome street team, Shantel's Erotic Entourage. I love these bitches! This lovely group of ladies are awesome at pimping and making me laugh. They make me smile on bad days and make me laugh every day with foul language and dirty minds. It’s amazing how you can become so close with someone when they live halfway around the world. These girls are my sisters, and I love them very much.
I want to thank all my family members who are no longer with us. Not a day goes by that we don’t think of you. We love and miss you.
And last but not least, my readers. Thank you for taking a chance and wanting to read Undescribable. It was something that I never thought I would do and now here I am one year later and five books published. I have readers asking me when the next one will be out and begging me to release early. Thank you so much for your love and support. And believe me when I say-I can’t write fast enough. I love you all.
These books would not be possible without any of you. Thank you!
About the Author
Shantel is a Texas born girl who now lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma with her high school sweetheart, who is a wonderful, supportive husband and their three year old little princess. She loves to spend time cuddled up on the couch with a good book.
She is currently working on Parker’s book-book five in the Undescribable series. She considers herself extremely lucky to get to be a stay at home wife and mother. Going to concerts and the movies are just a few of her favorite things to do. She hates coffee, but loves wine. She and her husband are both huge football fans, college and NFL. And she has to feed her high heel addiction by shopping for shoes weekly.
Although she has a passion to write, her family is most important to her. She loves spending evenings at home with her husband and daughter, along with their cat and dog.
For more information about the author and her books, visit:
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Or email her at mailto:[email protected]
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