He let out a shaky breath. His heart thudded as the light extinguished from her window. It must be time for dinner.
Mama did not tell Selina what her plan entailed, and Selina was glad of it. She would rather not know what schemes Mama had in mind to find a way for Edmund to be alone with her. With a deep breath, she smoothed out the light wrinkles in her skirts, blowing out the candles in her room before heading downstairs for dinner.
She hadn’t heard Edmund come home yet. He hadn’t told her or Mama where he had disappeared to for the second day in a row. But just as she reached the base of the stairs, Edmund walked through the front doors, bringing a gust of cold air with him. He removed his hat, revealing more of his face, which was slightly pink from the cold.
She stopped, her heart leaping when he looked across the entry hall at her. How long had he been outside? She could still feel a chill in the air as though he had absorbed enough of the cold to bring it inside with him. “Where have you been, Edmund?” Selina asked in a quiet voice. She held the base of the banister with her gloved hand, hoping it would steady her.
He removed his coat and gloves, walking slowly toward the place she stood. “I have had business to attend to.” He gave a weak smile as his blue eyes roamed her face. Silence fell between them for several seconds. She wished he would smile the way he used to. He had been far too serious of late. But at least he was speaking to her. She tried to focus on that positive thought as she glanced down the hall behind him.
Mama was incapable of making a quiet entrance anywhere, so she drew Edmund’s attention as well as she rustled toward them in her red-trimmed evening gown. “Oh, Sir Edmund, you must be nearly freezing to death. Would you like to warm yourself by the fire before dinner? We will give you all the time you need to ready yourself.”
He thanked her with a smile and nod before turning back toward Selina. It took her a moment to realize that he needed to pass her on the stairs to get to his room. She stepped aside, another wave of coldness following him as he passed her on the stairs. His eyes met hers briefly, unspoken words heavy in the air between them, before he climbed the rest of the staircase.
Selina released a slow breath, swallowing the emotion in her throat. Mama rushed forward the moment Edmund was out of sight. “Not to worry. I have a plan.”
Those words combined with Mama’s mischievous smile were not comforting in the slightest. But Selina summoned her courage, giving a nod as she followed Mama into the drawing room to await Edmund.
He was ready for dinner within minutes. Selina could hardly relax during the meal, wondering what Mama had in mind. Rose and Mr. Vaughan sat in silence most of the time, far from oblivious to the tension between Selina and Edmund. The conversation over the meal consisted mostly of Mama’s questions directed at Edmund, none of which, thankfully, involved his feelings for Selina. There seemed to be a sort of game between Selina and Edmund. Each time she looked at him, he caught her watching, only to be caught doing the same a minute later. If Mama did not have a propensity for speaking so much, the meal would have been excruciatingly awkward.
If only Selina could read his thoughts, and if only he could read hers. Then he would know how very sorry she felt, and she wouldn’t have to say all those difficult words aloud. He would know how much he meant to her. That she trusted him and loved him.
Shortly after returning to the drawing room, Mama’s foot began tapping against the carpet, her eyes flitting to the longcase clock repeatedly. Rose touched Mama’s elbow in an obvious attempt to calm her.
“Why are you so anxious?” Selina whispered. It was making her even more nervous.
Mama glanced to the door as Edmund and Mr. Vaughan joined them before leaning close to Selina’s ear. “I asked the servants to remove themselves from the kitchen promptly by eight.”
Selina frowned as she glanced up at the clock. It was one minute before the hour. “Why does that mat—”
“Oh, Sir Edmund!” Mama said, just as he took a seat. “I wondered if you might assist me with a task of tremendous importance.”
Edmund’s eyebrows lifted and he regarded her seriously. “Of course. What is it?”
Mama placed her hands in her lap, nearly bouncing as she turned to Selina. “Would you and Selina go to the kitchens to ensure your plum pudding is still aging well? You must test the smell and the texture by pressing softly on the outside of the wrappings. It will be served in just a few short days, you know.”
Mama’s intentions became quite clear, and Selina’s heart flipped with nervousness. It was a ridiculous request, but Edmund still nodded, rising to his feet. With a pointed look from Mama, Selina felt much like a horse beneath a whip, and she rose quickly to her feet as well. Rose gave her an encouraging smile, and Selina pretended she didn’t see it, balling her hands at her sides.
Mama waved from her place on the sofa as Selina followed Edmund to the door. He gestured for her to walk ahead of him before he stepped into the dim hallway beside her. Selina’s heart pounded as she searched for the right thing to say. Daring a glance at his face, she found his eyes fixed on her.
“I am honored that your mother trusts me with a task like this,” he said in a quiet voice. “Considering what she thinks happened the last time I set foot in the kitchen after dark.”
A bloom of hope unfolded in Selina’s chest at the small smile he cast her. His expression was still tentative, as if he were unsure if making jests was acceptable between them or not.
“That is why she asked me to accompany you,” Selina said, her voice just as quiet as his. “She could not trust you alone with the pudding a second time.”
Edmund’s smile grew, and he looked down at the floor. His expression became more serious as they approached the kitchen door. All that weighed heavily on Selina’s mind must have also weighed on his. It was difficult to laugh and smile with such a downward force pressing upon her.
When they walked inside the kitchen, it was empty, just as Mama had requested. The dishes had already been cleaned, and not another soul was there among the pots and pans and . . .
Selina squinted in the dim light until her eyes adjusted. In the far corner of the kitchen, the plum pudding had been hung in its wrappings from a hook on the ceiling.
“Shall we divide our tasks?” Selina asked when silence reigned for too long. She turned to face Edmund. Her legs shook beneath her. “I would suggest that you be responsible for smelling the pudding since you are much taller than I. And if I reach high enough, I will be able to test the texture of the pudding.” Hearing the words aloud made their errand sound even more ridiculous. Could Mama not have invented a better excuse? She walked until she reached the pudding nonetheless.
Her heart thudded as Edmund moved closer to her in the dim room. “I suspect your mother had a different design in sending us here together,” he said as he reached her. His gaze was careful as he studied her face.
Selina could hardly breathe, but she feigned nonchalance as she turned toward the pudding, casting a casual glance back at Edmund as she reached up to touch the side of the wrappings. She could smell the brandy, fruit, and spices on the moist fabric even from far beneath it. “Oh? What do you suppose her purpose is?” She didn’t dare turn around.
“There are several possibilities,” Edmund said. Why did he sound so nervous? It only made Selina’s heart pound faster. “She could be planning a New Year’s Day surprise for us. Or she could be so vexed with us that she wished for us to leave her sight.” He moved one step closer, the sound of his boot against the floor penetrating the silence. “Or she could be hoping that I would propose to you.”
Selina’s eyes widened, but she pretended to still be examining the pudding, poking one side of it, then the other, careful not to make it sway too much on the hook. She rose on her toes in order to reach it. Her stomach fluttered. “I suspect the latter has been her design all along. She would have never invited you to stay if she hadn’t been hoping for such a thing.”
He was sil
ent for a long moment. “Do you still wish to disappoint your mother?”
Selina shook her head before finding the strength to whisper, “No.”
His boot echoed softly on the floor again before his hand wrapped around hers, pulling it away from the plum pudding. As she turned, he cupped her hand between both of his, holding it softly against his chest. She felt the steady beat of his heart against her palm, and his eyes held a sea of emotions. “Selina, I think we have misunderstood one another.”
“Undoubtedly.” Selina sniffed, fighting the lump in her throat.
His gaze searched hers, and he exhaled with a sigh. “When I saw you kiss Skinner I simply . . . reacted poorly. I thought that meant you loved him just as ardently as you had professed. And I did not want it to be true.”
Selina’s heart skipped at the hint of jealousy in his features. “Do you think when you kissed Miss Perry I didn’t feel those same painful things you just described? I thought you intended to marry her after kissing her like that.” Even the memory sent a jolt of ache through her heart. She scowled up at him unintentionally.
“Do you suppose that is how a man kisses a woman he intends to marry?” Edmund scoffed, his gaze deepening as he took a step closer. He released her hand, leaving it against his chest as he touched her face gently, tipping her chin upward. He leaned closer, his gaze falling to her lips before flicking back to her eyes. “You’re wrong.”
Selina could hardly breathe as she counted each beat of his heart against her hand. Was it pounding faster than it had before? Warmth spiraled through her chest as he tipped his head closer, cradling her face in his hands. His lower lip grazed over hers, sending a shiver down her neck and shoulders. Selina held onto his jacket, afraid she would fall at any moment. He drew an audible breath before his lips met hers again.
She had underestimated the value of Edmund’s kiss, the effect it would have on her, the way his hands would feel against her cheeks. Already his kiss held thrice the value of Noah’s. Ten times the value. Perhaps more. There was nothing the Frost Fair could have done to convince her that a reticule on the Thames was of greater value than a reticule in the shop, but Selina was quickly realizing not all kisses were equal. Not all kisses were heart-stopping and precious, rare and treasured. This . . . this was a kiss worth everything she owned. It was worth admitting every mistake, sacrificing her pride, and risking her heart. Edmund may not have been kissing her on the River Thames, but this kiss was worth more than she could ever afford.
Yet he demanded no price. He didn’t want her money. The way his lips moved, fervent and slow, the way his fingers became lost in her hair, it was clear that he wanted . . . her.
Selina’s hands curled into fists against his chest. Her heart ached with an overindulgence, much like her stomach had felt after the Christmas Day Feast. She had never felt so wanted and loved, so free of doubt and hurt. Edmund’s kisses deepened as fresh tears slipped from her eyes. She clung to his jacket, pulling him closer so he might never, ever stop.
His lips parted from hers abruptly with no little amount of effort. He leaned back enough to look in her eyes, his chest rising and falling against her hands. “You must understand that my feelings for you are genuine, no matter how my attentions toward you began. They have ended like this.” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I do not wish to be parted from you when the frost melts. I love you, Selina, and I don’t ever wish to be parted from you.”
Selina closed her eyes as his words soaked through her bones, filling her with strength and warmth. “Does this mean you wish to marry me?”
“I thought my kiss would have answered that question.”
“I may require a bit more proof.”
Edmund smiled, leaning closer, as if he truly did mean to kiss her just as thoroughly as he had before. She stopped his lips with her thumb. “Edmund,” she said in a quiet voice. There was more she still had to say. “I love you. I should have trusted you from the beginning. I cannot believe that you tolerated me for so long. I cannot believe all that you have sacrificed.” Her voice broke. “Did Mr. Skinner burn your grandmother’s will?”
Edmund shook his head. “He fooled me as easily as he fooled you. My grandmother did not leave her will with his father’s office; he only pretended she did in order to threaten me. I learned that she intended to leave it with me, but I have searched her house these last two days to no avail.”
“I will help you search.” Selina stared up at him with wide eyes. “It must be somewhere, and perhaps a pair of new eyes will help discover it.”
Edmund did not seem to be overly concerned with the will at that moment, his gaze sweeping over her face as he dried the moisture that remained on the edges of her eyes with his thumb. “I will accept your company anywhere I can.”
“Even in an empty kitchen?” Selina cast her gaze around the room with a smile.
“Especially then.” Edmund leaned close with a mischievous smile, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. His arms wrapped around her waist, and she pulled back, breathless. “I believe you have confused your traditions,” she whispered before his lips captured hers again. She touched the side of his face, a laugh escaping her as his mouth parted from hers for a brief moment. She could hardly gather her words with the way he looked at her, with the feeling of his strong hands at her waist or the look of his impatient lips waiting to kiss her again. “The plum pudding is far from a kissing bough,” she said.
Edmund glanced up, a slow smile spreading over his face. “Just think of how much dearer that pudding will be to your mother once she learns what has occurred beneath it. You became engaged to me.”
Selina laughed. “Although I’m not certain she will approve of the kissing.”
Edmund’s gaze roamed her face, his smile still lingering as he brushed the curls from her forehead. “Then you may take this as your last opportunity. Once you grant her wish of having me as a son-in-law, you shall never have a chance to disappoint her again.”
Selina’s heart skipped as he tugged her close, stealing her breath before her laughter could escape. She kissed him with as much fervor as he kissed her, rising on her toes to bury her fingers in his hair. Edmund pulled back abruptly once more, groaning as he stepped back a pace. The restraint in his eyes reminded her of the abiding truth about the man she loved.
He was a true gentleman. Not disguised as one as Noah had been.
“It would be cruel of us to keep the news from your mother a moment longer,” he said.
Selina nodded, her heart still racing with disbelief. She would marry Edmund soon. She could hardly believe she had come so close to sharing her life with anyone but him. Edmund pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, wrapping her hand up in his. Then, hand in hand, they walked back to the drawing room.
Chapter 19
Standing back a few paces, Edmund observed Selina tug at the ribbons of her velvet bonnet as she walked through the front doors of his grandmother’s house. Even as she cast her gaze about the room, her eyes seemed incapable of missing any important detail the house contained. She had been even more eager than he had to help him search for the will the very next day. As expected, Mrs. Ellis had been overjoyed to hear of their engagement and had already begun planning how she would reveal the news to Mrs. Perry on Twelfth Night.
“Where have you not yet searched?” Selina asked, pacing the floor of the entry hall. Edmund smiled. The way she played the role of detective was vastly endearing.
“I have searched the entire house twice.” Edmund felt much more at ease with the situation now that Selina was there, but there was still a piece of his heart that yearned to know what his grandmother had left for him—what pieces of her and his childhood he could keep close.
Selina walked ahead of Edmund toward the drawing room. “If you did not find the will, then you must not have searched the entire house. Have you spoken to the servants?”
Edmund nodded. “On two separate occasions.”
Selina stopped in the m
iddle of the drawing room, tapping her chin. Her gaze settled on the table beside his grandmother’s favorite chair. A smile lit her face. “Is this the elephant statue your grandmother demanded be kept free of dust?” She bent over to examine it. “Oh, dear. I do see a bit of dust on its trunk. It seems he has been neglected during these past weeks.”
Selina picked it up, blowing gently across the top of its head to clear away the dust that had settled there as well as the trunk. She used the end of her coat to clear the rest of it, smiling down at her work. “You see, Edmund, I will not be forcing you to dust my tiger statue when I am an old woman. I will do it myself.”
Edmund grinned, walking closer. As he approached, Selina lowered the statue to the table. Just before the base of the elephant touched the surface, she stopped, her eyes rounding with surprise. “What is that?”
Edmund followed her gaze to the table, where a paper sat, folded in a neat square in the space where the elephant statue had been positioned.
“Could it be . . . ” Selina’s voice rose with excitement.
Edmund picked up the paper, his heart pounding in his throat. As he unfolded it, the writing came into view. “The will,” he breathed.
Selina gave a quiet gasp.
Edmund read it over without pause, relief flooding over his shoulders. It was as he had hoped. Everything that had been acquired under his grandmother’s fortune was now Edmund’s. The house. The furnishings, and even the elephant statue she had known he loved so much. He could imagine her in her final moments, holding the statue and slipping her will beneath it, knowing Edmund would find it there. He likely wouldn’t have moved the statue, had Selina not been there to do so. His grandmother had been the last to place the statue there, so he hadn’t dared move it.
Her Silent Knight: A Christmas Regency Romance (Belles of Christmas: Frost Fair Book 1) Page 15
