“I do. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but if you came here with the hopes of us getting back together, it’s not going to happen. I want to be upfront about that right now.”
“Let’s try again,” she pleads, scooting in closer.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not what I want.”
She throws her head back, ready to move in from another angle. If sadness won’t reel me in, she’ll go for another way. “Don’t play games. We have history that you can’t throw away. We’ve dated other people but always end up back together. Let’s stop wasting our time and try for real.”
Stella is upset I’m moving onto someone else. Sure, I’ve dated and fucked other women, but they were never anything serious like I have with Libby. I’ve never felt something as strong as I feel for her. And Stella knows it, which is why she’s here. She knows when I love and care about someone because at one time she was who I loved.
“Thank you for coming to my show, but that’s not what I want.” She moves forward and tries to sit on my lap, but I swat her away. “Fucking stop, Stella.”
“Please.” Tears are streaming down her face, causing her mascara to run with them. “I hate seeing you with someone else.”
“I hope you find someone to make you happy.”
I slide away from her and go on the hunt for Spencer to let him know I’m taking off. Yasmine and him are staying in my suite, and I want to make it clear that Stella cannot crash with them, under no circumstances. I don’t care if I have to pay to get her a separate room myself.
I’m almost to him when I notice the guy with a camera phone in his hand, tracking my every move.
Mother fucker.
This isn’t going to look good.
I call Libby as soon as I get back to my room. It goes to voicemail.
It’s one in the morning here, and eleven in the morning there, so there’s no way she’s still sleeping. She’s an early riser.
I hit her name again.
No answer.
I hit the text icon.
Me: Call me as soon as you can.
Chapter Forty-Five
Libby
“He keeps trying to call me,” I tell Mia. My phone starts ringing again. I hit the ignore button. It beeps. “And texting.”
This is why I wanted to keep my distance from a relationship with Knox. Even though we agreed to take things slow and not make anything serious, it still hurt when I saw the picture of him and Stella in the club. They are in Thailand together – a woman does not fly that far to see a man uninvited. This is what I’d been afraid of, and it’s killing me more than I expected.
“Answer your phone and quit acting childish,” Mia demands. “Listen to what the man has to say.”
“You mean listen to his excuses? No, thank you. I don’t want to interrupt him and his girlfriend.”
“He’s trying to call you, his girlfriend, so obviously you wouldn’t be interrupting shit.”
I take one of my pillows next to me and throw it across the room in an attempt to deflate some of the anger rising through me. “Why would he do this? He knows I’m stressed out about classes and about him hanging out in clubs with women.”
My phone starts ringing again. Mia reaches across the bed, snags it from me, and answers before I have the chance to stop her.
“Hey Knox,” she answers. “Yes, she’s right here. Hold please.” I shoot her a dirty look when she hands the phone off to me. “Listen to what he has to stay,” she mouths before jumping off my bed and leaving the room.
At least she’s giving me some privacy, which is surprising.
My chest tightens when I put the phone to my ear. “Hello.”
“You’ve seen them, haven’t you?” Knox rushes out.
“Are you asking if I saw the pictures of you cuddled up in some club with your ex-girlfriend?”
“Hold up. I wasn’t cuddled up with her.”
“My bad, I’ll correct myself. Are you asking me if I’ve seen the pictures of you hanging out in some club with your ex-girlfriend in a country I’m sure she doesn’t frequent often, which means she came there for you.”
“It doesn’t look good, I know, but let me explain.”
“Fine, explain away.”
“Some friends came to see the show, and Stella decided to tag along. I didn’t know she was coming until they were already here. I made it clear to her that she and I are completely over. You know I’m in love with you and don’t want anyone else. If I was fucking around with her, would I be calling you right now?” I stay quiet. “Do you want to Facetime so you know I’m here alone – wishing you were next to me?”
“That’s not necessary,” I snap.
“Then tell me you believe me. Tell me you trust me.”
I want to believe him, but that still doesn’t change the fact that there’s some doubt lingering in my thoughts. I watched my dad pull this move time and time again when he had girlfriends. He’d talk to them on the phone, assuring them he was alone and going to bed when instead he’d have another girl over as soon as he hung up.
“You don’t believe me,” he says, softly. “Why?”
I need to be honest with him. “You have this gorgeous, famous, and exotic woman there wanting to be with you. I’m this broke girl with pink stripes in my hair that’s crashing at her friend’s house while attending college. That’s pretty self-explanatory. It was a summer fling, Knox, but we’re too opposite. It’ll never work. Maybe temporarily, but not permanently.”
“Sunshine, I’ve had exotic and rich. I’ve also had pink streaks and snarky attitudes. I’ll take the pink hair over everything and everyone. It’s much more authentic, fun, and satisfying. I can promise you’re not some fling. You’re my forever.”
“I don’t want to be that jealous girl,” I whisper.
“Then don’t be. You have no reason to be jealous of anyone. You’re the only one getting my attention. You. Do you hear me? Trust me, Libby.”
“The problem is that I can’t.” I’m still trying to erase the images I saw of him and Stella from my mind, but it’s impossible. I’m trying to fight off ideas of them messing around, but I’m losing the battle. No matter what, my heart will always remember what’s happened in the past.
“Don’t … don’t do this,” he begs. “You promised. You swore to me you’d try.”
“I did try!”
I pull my phone away when he tries to Facetime me and hit the reject button. I can’t do that right now. It’ll kill me.
“You won’t even look at me?” he yells. I stay silent, and he lets out a sharp laugh. “You’re going to throw everything that we’ve built away because of some ridiculous fear of another woman getting my attention? If I’m interested in fucking other women, why do I call you every single damn night? Why am I always checking in so you know you’re the only one on my mind?”
“But she’s there! Last time I checked, Thailand is more than a hop and a skip away. She came there to see you!”
“And? I didn’t ask her to. You’re going to be around men daily in your classes. Do I wonder about you connecting with any of them? Yes, the idea has crossed my mind, but I trust you. I wish you could do the same with me.”
I’m crumbling inside, but I keep my voice straight. “You focus on your tour right now. I’ll focus on school, and we’ll talk or something when you get back, okay?”
“You’re making a mistake.”
“Space is good for relationships sometimes.”
“No, space is a bullshit excuse for someone being weak and scared.”
“Then maybe I’m weak,” I croak out.
“You promised! You promised you’d fight for us.”
“Some promises can’t be kept.”
He scoffs, and his voice turns cold. “Fine, you win, Libby. All promises are out the door. It’s over. We’re over. Have a nice life.”
The line goes dead.
I stare down at my phone, debating with myself whether I should call him back,
as I wipe away the tears running down my face.
I feel like a heartless bitch right now, but it’s for the best. I can’t be blamed for protecting my heart.
“Fucking coward!” I look up at the sound of Mia’s voice to see her standing in the doorway with a look of annoyance on her face.
I hold my hand up, not wanting to hear her make me feel even worse. “I told you to stay out of my business.”
“You keep pushing him away like this, one day he won’t come back.”
“Good.” Her eyes narrow in on me at my response. “I have too much shit to focus on right now than some silly relationship that’ll never last.”
“Coward,” she spats out again. “It’s not a silly relationship if you love each other.”
I throw my hands up. “How do you think I feel, Mia? I’m about to go to classes and all I can think about is him hanging out with her. A girl doesn’t fly across the country to see an ex who doesn’t want anything to do with her.”
“Did he know she was coming?”
“He said no.”
“Then there’s your answer, genius. He didn’t invite her.”
“She posted a throwback picture of them kissing on Instagram the same night. How do you explain that?”
“She’s obviously trying to get in your head. Shit, I’d do the same thing if Dixon started dating someone else. It’s what you do when you’re desperate. She knew she could get to you that way.”
“It doesn’t matter. He pretty much said he was done and hung up on me.”
“Whatever, you’re going to be the one who regrets it in the long run.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Libby
TEN WEEKS LATER
The sound of my phone ringing wakes me up.
I blindly slide my hand around on the nightstand in the dark until I find it.
It’s three in the morning, and Knox’s name is blinking across the screen, surprising the hell out of me. We haven’t talked since the Stella situation in Thailand.
I quickly hit the answer button. “Hello? Is everything okay?”
Phone calls this late are never good. They’re either drunk-dials or tragedies.
I’m praying for a drunk-dial.
“No,” he murmurs, blowing out a deep breath.
“What’s going on?”
“I had a break in my schedule for a few days and decided to come home. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, shower in my bathroom, and all that good shit. I get here after an exhausting ten-hour flight and walk into a complete nightmare. I wasn’t sure who else to call but you. You’re the only person I know that’s on my team and gives a shit about my side of the story.”
I gulp in air. “What happened?”
“Nate decided to turn my house into the fucking Playboy mansion. It’s completely trashed. The police are here now, and I can’t even begin to list all of the shit that’s missing.” He pauses. “My guitar is gone, Libby.”
My chest caves in and my eyes start to well up at the sound of hurt in his voice. I’m positive he’s holding back his own tears. His most prized possession, a ten-dollar guitar, has been taken from him. Sadness shatters through me. I want to kick Nate’s ass myself.
I flip on my lamp, hop out of bed, and start searching for something to throw on. “Do you want me to come there?”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s late. I feel bad for even waking you up.”
“I’m on my way.” He can’t go through this alone. I won’t let him.
“Libby …”
“I’m on my way.”
“Okay.”
The relief in his answer tells me I’m doing the right thing.
Cop cars are blocking access in front of his gate when I pull up. I’m shuffling through the glove compartment in search of the gate opener when an officer knocks on my window.
“Sorry, miss,” he says, when I roll it down. “This is a private drive.”
“I’m here to see Knox,” I tell him.
He chuckles, giving me a condescending look. “You and every other pap and fan around here.”
“I’m not the paparazzi or a fan. I’m his assistant.” He’s still giving me that look – like it’s not the first time he’s heard someone say that. I grab my phone from the cup holder. “Hold on. I’ll call him right now.”
He crosses his arms and nods while I hit Knox’s name. I tell him the situation when he answers, and he says he’ll handle it.
“The girl in the Jeep is his assistant,” are the words that come through the officer’s radio. “Please have everyone make a note that Libby Graves is always allowed on the premises.”
“Sorry, only trying to do my job,” he says. “Especially given the situation why we’re here. I want to give you a heads up, it’s not pretty.”
“I understand. Better safe than sorry.”
He tips his head down and gestures for me to go forward when the gate opens.
Knox is waiting for me in the driveway and meets me when I get out of the Jeep. I can see the pain on his face. The loss. The hurt. The fight with himself on how he’s going to deal with Nate. He was only trying to help someone and ended up getting screwed over.
He moves in closer, trapping me between him and the car, and his eyes meet mine. “I kicked him out,” he whispers. “Am I wrong for that? I threw all of his shit out of my house and told him he’s never welcome here again.”
I reach down and grab his hand. “I would’ve done the same thing. He needs to give you space. He took advantage of you.”
We stand there silently staring at each other for a few minutes until we hear the click of a camera.
“Fuck,” he hisses, scrubbing his hand over his face. “They’re like cockroaches. They always figure out a way to slither in somewhere and take a picture.”
I keep my head down when he snags my hand in his and leads me through the front door and into the house. My stomach sinks when I take a look around.
The place looks like it’s been dragged through hell. There are marks, holes, and graffiti all over the walls, and I swear I see splatters of blood. The floors look like they’ve had almost every drink imaginable spilled on them, and half of the furniture is either ruined or missing.
He throws his arms out. “Welcome to the home I’ve worked my ass off for.”
“We’ll get it fixed,” I say, trying my hardest to sound reassuring.
He picks up a vase and throws it across the room. It hits a wall and shatters to pieces. “That’ll take months! I don’t want to look at this. The sight of it makes me fucking sick. This doesn’t feel like my home anymore. I feel violated in here.”
“Then come stay with me and let them get it cleaned up.” The words leave my mouth before I even think about what I’m saying.
I can tell he’s just as surprised as I am when he turns around to look at me. “You don’t have to do that. I can stay at a hotel.”
“You’re right, I don’t have to, but I want to. You’ve been staying in hotels and the bus for months. You came here to sleep in your own bed …”
“That’s not happening again. Who knows what venereal diseases it’s infested with. I had the door locked, but that doesn’t stop thieves. I’m half tempted to burn this thing to the ground.”
“It might not be as comfortable as yours, but let me tell you, my bed is pretty damn comfy. Mia’s parents are big on expensive furniture.”
He raises a brow. “You sure about this?”
“Absolutely. You’d do the same for me, if not more. Grab whatever you need.”
My head is spinning when he loads his bag into the backseat. I’ve asked Thomas to return the Jeep numerous times, but he always says Knox will contact me when he gets back. I feel like a fraud driving it around, but I have no other means of transportation and had no idea where to take it.
The ride is quiet on the way back to the condo. I hit the brakes, waiting for the gate to open, and notice Knox powering down his phone.
“Not in the mood f
or calls tonight?” I ask.
“I’m probably not in the mood for calls for the rest of the week,” he says, letting out an exhausted breath. “I don’t even remember the last time I left this thing off for more than five minutes. I always seem to be connected, and for once, I want to get a break from it all.”
“I get it.” Reporters were blowing me up for stories, and everyone I went to school with wanted to get the scoop when everything with my dad went down. I had to make the decision to either turn my phone off completely, which was difficult because I wanted to keep in touch with my dad and his attorneys, or change my number. So I changed my number, which was a big lifesaver when the pictures of Knox and me went viral.
I turn off the ignition. “Mia is asleep,” I tell him. “If we wake her up, you’ll never get to bed because she’ll be asking you twenty-one questions.”
“So don’t say a word or trip into shit?”
“Exactly.”
I switch on a light when we make it inside and turn around to look at him. “Follow me,” I mouth, walking upstairs.
He takes a look around when I shut my bedroom door behind us. “You know I’ve never been inside here. I feel like you’ve seen every room in my home, but yours has been a big mystery to me. It’s nice seeing this side of your life.”
I sweep my arms out in a circle. “Take a look around. Textbooks and my laptop are pretty much my life right now.”
He rubs his forehead, laughing. “Oh sunshine, there’s more to you than textbooks.”
I start to respond when something hits me. “Shit,” I hiss. “We forgot your bag in the car.”
“We did. Is it okay if I borrow something of yours to sleep in?”
“Sure,” I answer, around a laugh. “I have some of the best lingerie that will fit you perfectly. What are you, a B cup?”
He thrusts his chest out. “How did you know?” I’m glad I’m taking his mind away from the house. “Although anything in those drawers probably look much better on you, so I’ll work with what I have.”
I can’t stop myself from licking my lips with excitement when he grabs the bottom of his t-shirt and drags it over his head. He’s more in shape than he was before, the muscles in his chest more prominent, and my hands are itching to see if his skin feels the same.
Make Me Yours Page 46
