He continued to look at her, one eyebrow raised.
"You want more? I'm sure you know you're gorgeous and sexy as sin. You can't possibly need me to tell you that."
"What I need you to tell me is whether or not you're attracted to me. Whether or not you enjoyed my kissing you. Whether or not you're going to let me lay you down, spread your legs, and fuck you until we're both too weak to walk."
Chapter 2
"You say the most outrageous things."
"It's a gift."
Ryan smiled as Lily erupted in laughter. He smoothed her hair back, shoulder length auburn strands that already hid a few traitorous wisps of gray. Her smooth skin bore no scars or marks of any kind. She'd declared her age as if she was one step from the nursing home, but a man looking at her just now, staring into her greenish hazel eyes, would be hard pressed to peg her at even forty.
To him, she hadn't changed in the thirteen years they'd been apart. He still remembered the first time he'd set eyes on her. He'd immediately classified her as a MILF—mother I'd like to fuck—and had fantasies about her from day one. Now holding her on his lap, he knew reality outshone everything he'd imagined.
"Maybe the words I've spoken seem outrageous to you because no one's ever said them before. And that, Lily, is a damn shame. Your ex-husband must be a real asshole."
"Reg considers himself a man of the world, a connoisseur of fine wines and fine women. In that order. He told me so himself, when he asked for the divorce. The children had grown, and he had done me the tremendous honor, at great personal sacrifice, of allowing me to remain his wife all those years. But he'd found a beautiful young woman more deserving of the title of Mrs. Reginald Martin. And I, being such an asexual creature, couldn't possibly have any objections at this point in my life to dissolving the marriage, and vacating the house."
Ryan knew shocked horror showed on his face.
Lily nodded. “Reginald's version of, ‘I want to fuck you.’ And I can't believe I just said that word."
"He is an asshole."
Ryan had listened to Mark go on and on about Reginald Martin. But he'd thought the older man's protests more along the vein of a surrogate father who thought no one quite good enough for his precious daughter.
Ryan had traveled the world, taking five years right after university to indulge his wanderlust. He'd met and enjoyed a lot of women. He'd honed his lover's skills to a fine art. He'd never had a single complaint from any of his partners. And now he knew that all those years he'd been preparing himself for this one woman.
A fanciful notion, that, and one he'd examine in detail later. Right now, he wanted to focus on the woman on his lap. He caressed her arms and waited to see if she would answer the question he'd asked. She looked so troubled he wanted to make everything right for her. Talk about fanciful notions.
"I'm not blameless, Ryan. I knew he cheated on me—hell, probably from not long after our honeymoon, and I didn't do anything about it. A bit naïve when we married, I'd been raised with the image of man as head of the house—something that today's young women don't have, and likely can't even fathom. But I never did anything to make things different. I just let it continue on."
"That's a lot of guilt, honey, and I bet you don't really deserve a half of it. I think you were young when you got married and good old Reggie did a primo job of demoralizing and conditioning you. I hope you scalped him in the divorce."
"Why do so many people say that? My hairstylist, my lawyer, Uncle Mark ... money doesn't make the wrongs go away. It doesn't fix anything. I got the cash settlement that I demanded. I didn't ask for anything more, although I would have liked a few of the furnishings out of the house."
"No, I can see that money isn't important to you. I guess the point would be if money mattered to your ex, then depriving him of great gooey gobs of it might just inflict a measure of pain. In return for all that arrogant bullshit he flung at you all those years."
When she again ducked her head, he used a single finger to lift her face, so he could look into her eyes.
"What?"
"I'm not completely certain that it was all bullshit. I only ever did one thing in my life—get married and have kids."
Ryan read her expression and her tone perfectly. “And you think that because you're divorced, you've failed?"
He could see the truth of his words on her face.
"Your husband cheated on you, Lily. He's the one who failed."
"That's not the vibes that Reg has been sending since he announced his intentions. That's certainly not what my mother thinks. And that's not how it feels."
And there, Ryan knew, lay the crux of the matter. Lily felt like a loser. She had absolutely no self-confidence as a person, or as a woman.
His feelings for her had never been just physical. He'd watched her that summer all those years ago—watched how she treated her uncle, and her unappreciative kids. She had a kindness and compassion within her that had drawn him when he'd been a sixteen-year-old boy still missing the touch of a loving mother, by then dead five years. And from what Mark had said from time to time in the years since, Lily continued to give of herself to people who treated her gift of service as less than nothing.
He wanted her body, yes. But he wanted her heart and soul as well. He had his work cut out for him. A smile ghosted across his face. Definitely worth the effort.
"You never did answer my questions."
Lily cocked her head to one side, puzzlement on her face.
"Are you attracted to me? Did you enjoy kissing me? Are you going to let me have you?"
* * * *
Lily suddenly realized that she still sat on Ryan's lap. The incredible heat of him seeped through her clothes and into her flesh. Her ass felt hot, and she resisted the urge to twitch it. Pressing against the edge of her hip, his erection grew harder. She'd had an orgasm, but he hadn't. Funny how that little fact had slipped her mind until now.
Ever since that one night thirteen years ago, Ryan had been in her thoughts. Oh, not a constant presence, to be sure. But the dream would come, haunt her, and she'd think of him. In her dream, of course, he remained untouchable. He'd been a teen, little more than a child, and her craving for him shamed her, then and now, when she remembered it. A child no longer, she found herself very much liking the man he had grown into.
It seemed strange to Lily that she had no difficulty talking to Ryan, a man she barely knew, about the most personal of topics. She felt a sort of connection to him, a comfort with him that, all things considered, was remarkable.
She saw he waited for an answer, so she said the first thing on her mind. “I never thought I would ever have sex again."
The look he gave her communicated patience. He deserved an explanation, not only for her answer but her actions. How could she explain to him what she'd been thinking these last few months since the divorce? Still, unbelievable as it may seem, she felt closer to Ryan Kincaid than she'd ever felt to anyone.
Lily had never excelled at making friendships with other women. Discouraged from holding a job or pursuing a career not only by her old-fashioned mother but also by a husband who wanted his wife's attention focused solely on himself and his home, Lily had never built that independent identity most modern women enjoyed and took for granted. Moving from her mother's house to her husband's, not even bothering to go to university, adult female relationships had been rare for her. Mostly, she just kept to herself.
Her relationship with her kids hadn't fared much better. Somehow, she'd never quite managed to be in control there, either. Oh, she cared for them and had performed all the countless tasks she knew mothers did. She loved her children, almost too much at times, she thought recently. When she and Reg divorced, her grown son and daughter had opted to stay with the parent paying their university tuitions. She didn't resent their choice—though she did wish they had been less effusive in their acceptance of their father's new wife.
So here she sat, forty-three and essentially alone
in life. Did that make her even more susceptible to Ryan's charms?
She'd been silent too long. When she met Ryan's eyes, she saw a tenderness there that brought a lump to her throat. Then he caressed her cheek, and his look turned lascivious.
"Why don't we start where we left off, all those years ago?” he asked, his voice husky with intent. “Let's go back to that fantasy and play it out. I want you naked and wet—inside and out."
She gasped when he grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She had to work at keeping her hands from covering her breasts when Ryan removed her bra. What had happened between them, to this point, could be considered a simple lapse of control, a single episode of heavy petting. No real lines had been crossed. But if things continued on this way, more than heavy petting was on the agenda. If things continued on, she would have sex with Ryan Kincaid. Very, very soon.
The possibility of having an affair, of taking a lover, had really never before occurred to her. She'd fully believed herself an asexual woman. But now the possibility of an affair seemed a certainty, and the knowledge that an entire world of sensuality awaited her discovery...
Lily moistened dry lips. She could think of no reason to deny herself the pleasure awaiting her.
"I've never gone swimming naked."
Ryan caressed her breasts, his smile slow and devastating.
"I have a feeling there's a lot you've never done, Lily.” He gathered her close and kissed her, long and deep. “There's an awful lot I can share with you ... show you. If you want me to."
Lily didn't want to think. She just wanted to kiss him again. Leaning forward, wrapping her arms around him, she fused her mouth to his.
She'd never initiated a kiss before, so she didn't know what she expected. Ryan's open-mouthed surrender delighted her. Indulging herself fully, she used her tongue to explore his taste completely. A low fire burning in the pit of her belly told her one orgasm hadn't been enough. Giving in to the urge she'd experienced earlier, she brushed her breasts back and forth across his chest. Her nipples hardened painfully, and she felt more than heard her whimper. A basic unspoken female plea for more, it galvanized Ryan into growling into her mouth. His fingers sought and found the pebbled points of her breasts and rolled them between his forefingers and thumbs, squeezing lightly.
Lily wanted, more than anything, to take this gorgeous man up on his offer. Yes, those fourteen years still stretched between them. But Ryan, a man fully grown, like she, was unattached. It wasn't as if they were considering having a serious relationship. But an affair? Why not?
"Do I take that as a yes?” Ryan asked when she relinquished his mouth.
She slowly pulled back, smiling, her arms still looped around his neck.
"Ryan?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"I want you to show me everything."
Chapter 3
Only two men had ever seen Lily naked—Reg, and her doctor. Not once in her life had she ever been naked in the great outdoors. If she ever imagined such a thing, she would have imagined it happening in the dead dark of night, with only the stars—maybe—as witnesses.
That she would be naked in full view of a man she barely knew just shy of noon on a bright and sunny Wednesday didn't seem real. Self-consciousness about her body flooded her. She'd carried and borne two children. Her belly hadn't been flat or her abs tight in years. Her breasts, though neither tiny nor fulsome, could no longer be called pert. Yet Ryan seemed to like the view. Then the next instant, her thoughts scattered as he shed the last of his clothes.
Ryan, naked at sixteen, had been an eyeful. As an adult, he was much, much more. Magnificent, with a tanned, muscled chest, broad shoulders and lean hips, he appeared so much more man than she'd ever seen. His chest, lightly dusted with hair the same rich chestnut brown as the mane that nearly brushed his shoulders, tempted her fingers to explore. His legs, corded and strong, stood braced, defiant. Her eyes riveted on his penis, and she felt herself get wet in response to the sheer beauty of it. She'd rarely looked at Reg's cock, finding the sight of it, aroused or flaccid, to be repugnant. Her response to this shaft puzzled her. Ryan's was longer and thicker than her ex's. Fully aroused, the organ stretched upward just past his navel, proud and hard and delicious.
Her gaze shot up to his face when she realized she'd been staring at him for a long, silent time. Saying nothing, Ryan smiled and held out his hand.
Nervous, yet compelled, Lily put her hand in his and followed as he led her outside and to the pool.
The water looked clear and clean, the temperature just warm enough to be refreshing without being cold. She watched as Ryan dove neatly into the deep end. He surfaced, shook his wet hair back, and smiled.
"Come on, gorgeous. Get that sweet ass of yours in here."
Lily didn't think about it, she just dove in, surfacing close to him. He didn't make a grab for her, which is what she thought might happen next. Instead, he began to swim laps, taking her by surprise. Treading water, she watched him pass her twice before deciding to join him.
The feeling of absolute freedom astonished her. She nearly giggled at the sensation of her boobs, buoyant and surrounded by water. Feeling light and sexy and free, her movements as she slipped into a front crawl became smoother and faster than if she'd been wearing her suit. Soon, she forgot her nudity, forgot she wasn't alone. The exercise worked its magic. Her body began to release tension she didn't even know she carried. The silkiness of the water caressing her flesh relaxed her body, energized her mind. When she tired, she slipped onto her back and simply floated. This is what freedom is really all about. Why have I never done this before?
"Everything, huh?"
The single word hung on the air, so casually asked anyone else would have just made a sound in either agreement or dissent. How could she already know him so well as to understand this was an important moment? Drawing her feet downward, Lily treaded water. He stood waist deep, leaning against the side of the pool, watching her.
"I didn't know I could feel the way I felt earlier, when you kissed me. So, yes, I want to find out what else I've been missing."
"'Everything’ is a pretty big word, babe. There's mainstream fucking. And then there's ... a whole lot more."
"More?” The word emerged as an excited whisper, and Lily had to lick her lips to relieve the sudden dryness there. When Ryan's eyes flared at the action, her senses went on full alert.
"Yeah.” He left the side of the pool and approached her, she imagined the way a jungle cat stalks unsuspecting prey.
Unable to stop herself, she backed up in the water until the solid concrete of the edge nudged against her back. His gaze never leaving hers, he followed, stopping when mere inches separated them.
There was nothing gentle in the way Ryan grabbed her hair, pulled her head back so that he could meld his lips to hers. No wooing in the way his tongue stabbed into her mouth and dominated hers. Nothing subtle in the plunging of his fingers into her pussy, two fingers that felt like two hundred in the resulting stretch and sting. And yet, despite the roughness of his possession, her body responded with heart-racing, breath-heaving arousal. The sting eased almost instantly as moisture coated the fingers within. Ryan began to piston them in and out faster and deeper.
"You're so tight, baby."
"More,” she panted, breaking the kiss and instinctively raising her hips and spreading her legs to give him easier access. She thought she might go mad if he didn't keep finger-fucking her.
Instead of complying, his hand went still and he placed a light kiss on her lips.
"You'll get more. You'll get everything, if that's really what you want."
"Please ... I need..."
"I know what you need, Lily. And you'll get it, very soon. Come on, let's go inside."
* * * *
He smiled when Lily's blissful sigh echoed against the walls of the shower as his soapy hands caressed her breasts. Leaning against him, back to chest, he felt her give herself over to his m
inistrations. A shiver wracked her when his tongue sampled her ear. His warm chuckle caused another.
"Everything?"
"You keep saying that."
"Well, it's kind of right out there, you know?"
"I guess it is."
"So tell me ... have you ever had a lover's tongue here?"
Lily gasped when his fingers stroked her slit, teasing her clitoris.
"No."
"Have you ever been tied to the bed by a lover?"
"No."
"Have you ever taken a lover's cock into your mouth? Or received it ... here?"
She moaned in pure desire when he rubbed his hard shaft against her bottom.
"N ... no."
"Oh, Lily, all your firsts are going to be with me, babe."
It took only moments to rinse, and then he dried them both quickly. Lily wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck when he picked her up and carried her to her bed. He'd taken a moment before they got into the shower to place the condoms he'd brought with him on her bedside table. Grabbing one, he tore the package open, prepared himself quickly. Then she pulled him toward her as she spread her legs wide and lifted her hips.
Ryan carefully placed the tip of his cock on her opening and began to push. The extended foreplay had kept her wet. He'd done what he could to stretch her with his fingers, but Lily had the tightest pussy he'd ever taken, and he was a big boy.
A tiny mew of feminine distress froze him in his place. “You can take me, sweetheart. I'll be as gentle as I can.” He gritted his teeth and pressed forward, the warm wet welcome already so fabulous he just wanted to thrust hard and deep, and keep on doing so. It took every bit of will he could summon to deny himself that instant pleasure.
Instead, taking her mouth in a searing kiss, he stoked her breasts. He held his penis steady, just the head of it within her, and took the time to get her hotter and wetter. She raised her hips and he reached down and stroked her clit. Taking her needy sounds as his cue, he resumed his penetration. This time, he buried himself to the hilt.
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