Rapture evolved into lassitude, and Lily cradled him close. He'd not said the words, but Lily felt the power of Ryan's love as a healing balm over her bruised spirit.
She continued to hold him close, the words not easily coming to her, either, and settled down to sleep.
But sleep eluded her, and long into the night the sentiment, if not the words, of what her mother had hurled her way began to gnaw on her conscience. She wished herself to be strong enough, grounded enough, to claim that she didn't care if anyone laughed at her for being a middle aged woman with a lover more than a decade her junior.
She wanted to be so carefree, but very much feared that she wasn't.
* * * *
Of all the people Lily thought she might encounter in a building supply store, her daughter wasn't one of them. She had just finished speaking with a clerk who had gone over the steps to strip and refinish furniture with her. She turned around, and spotted Alice.
"Mom!"
"Hi, honey.” Lily didn't care if it did embarrass Alice. She gave her a hug anyway. And discovered, with some surprise, her hug returned shyly.
"Looks like you're getting ready to do something."
Lily followed Alice's gaze to her full cart.
"Yes. Believe it or not, I am about to try my hand at furniture refinishing. Ah ... what brings you here?"
Alice pointed to another young woman talking to a clerk in the paint department. “Helping Julie pick out some paint. She's just moved into her own place and I promised I'd help her redecorate."
Lily watched the hesitant expression cross her daughter's face. She didn't have to wait long to find her thoughts.
"So ... John says you're selling the farm and gonna be a millionaire."
Going on instinct, Lily replied, “He told me you're off to Europe in August."
"Where the hell did he get that idea?"
"Likely the same place he got the idea I'd sell my home. He actually suggested I do so the other day when he came to visit. But I told him I wasn't going to. And I'm not."
"Good. Don't let him push you into doing something you don't want to do."
Alice's attitude toward her brother had always been one Lily had classed as ‘sibling rivalry.’ To Lily, for the longest time now, Alice had seemed silent and sullen. But right this moment, having the most open conversation with her daughter that she'd had in a long time, Lily wondered if Alice's attitude in the past had reflected more than just her own brattiness.
"Listen ... why don't you come out and have lunch with me next week? See the place?"
"I'd like that, mom."
Lily left the store with a smile on her face nearly big enough to drown the niggling worry that she'd awakened with.
* * * *
Ryan stood just outside the wide-opened doors of the barn, two tall glasses of lemonade in hand, and just watched as Lily worked. While he'd been at home most of the morning, finessing his latest program, she'd gone to town and purchased all the materials she needed to refinish the old desk she'd uncovered.
He'd been struggling with the anger that still seethed as a result of overhearing the phone call from her mother yesterday, and the lady herself had simply moved on. Though she had seemed a bit self-conscious, he reflected, first thing when they'd awakened in each other's arms just before dawn. He couldn't hold back the smile that slid across his face, recalling how he'd dealt with that emotion. By the time he thrust into her, she'd grabbed his hair in both fists and demanded he take her harder.
The strong smell of furniture stripper assaulted him, bringing him back to the present.
"Are you at a point where you can take a break?"
"Just a bit more of this noxious substance spread and ... yeah."
She'd continued to coat the desktop as she'd spoken. When she dropped the brush back into the old coffee can, she stepped back and removed her gloves.
"I have about twenty minutes while the stripper soaks into the wood."
"Come on over to the picnic table and get out of these fumes."
"My plan, exactly."
Ryan waited until they sat facing each other at the picnic table before handing Lily the glass of lemonade. When she didn't look him in the eye, he sat back for a moment, assessing her.
"You seem to be coming along with that,” he said, watching her.
"It's not as hard as I thought it might be. I read over the instructions several times, and made a note of all the stuff I'd need. I went to the Home Depot, and they not only had everything on my list, but a woman there talked me through the procedure. It stinks,” she laughed, and met his eyes briefly, “but it's doable. Oh, and I ran into Alice there—of all places to see my daughter. I invited her out for lunch one day next week."
"You're nowhere near old enough to be my mother, Lily."
He knew he'd nailed it when she blushed, and didn't immediately answer. Following his instincts, he reached for her hand, brought it to his lips.
As he hoped, her eyes followed the action. When he saw that she focused on him he asked, quietly, “Does it really matter what other people think? How many years are there between your ex and his new wife?"
"That's different."
"That's bullshit, honey. It's okay for a man to be more than twenty years older than his woman, but not okay for a woman to be a dozen or so years older than her lover? Pure bullshit."
"They have a name for women my age who prey on younger men."
"Lucky?"
Lily burst out laughing and Ryan felt his heart lift. If she could laugh, then things weren't that bad.
"No, you nut. They're called Cougars."
"Sexy. I like it. But I haven't been your prey yet. Mmm, the very thought of it is getting me hot, though."
"Ryan, I am trying to have a serious discussion here."
"Lily, you're going to have to pick another topic, then. There is nothing wrong with my being fourteen years younger than you are."
"When I'm fifty, you'll only be thirty-six."
"And when I'm eighty, you'll be ninety-four” That one made her snicker. He kissed her palm and placed it on his face. “Sweetheart, we're both adults, and both unattached. That is all that matters. And what we do together is nobody's business but ours. Period."
"Well, tell that to my mother."
"Is it that important to you, that you please your mother?"
"I've tried all my life to please her."
"And never quite succeeded, have you?"
Chapter 11
"No."
He couldn't do anything about the years that separated them, or past hurts. But this issue he could do something about, now.
"Sweetheart, your inability to please your mother has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. Some people, no matter what, are never happy. Some people refuse to see the positive and focus, instead, on the negative. It's just the way they are."
"I used to think that she hated me, but then I convinced myself that couldn't be right. How could a mother hate her own child?"
Ryan knew some mothers did hate their own children. He didn't want to say that, though. He wanted to do whatever he could to ease her heart, help her feel better. Her mother might very well hate her, but there could also be another explanation for her behavior.
In response to Lily's misery, he got up and walked around the table, sat beside her. Sliding his arms around her shoulders, he hugged her close.
"Maybe she doesn't know how to show her love. Not everyone is as open and giving as you are, honey. Some people are trapped by their own emotions, and unable to show what they really feel.” He sighed when she relaxed in his arms, and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I have the feeling you're being overly generous where my mother is concerned. And because of that, I'm going to work hard at not letting the years between us bother me."
"It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, Lily. It only matters what we think. And I think we're compatible in enough ways that a few years doesn't make one
damn bit of difference."
"We do seem to be getting along even when we're not screwing each other's brains out."
He heard just enough of a ‘considering’ tone in Lily's voice to make him chuckle. Of all the things he admired about Lily—and there were plenty—her refusal to surrender to negativity ranked right up at the top of the list.
"While you work some more on that desk, why don't I start dinner?"
"You cook?"
"I'm an excellent cook."
Ryan helped Lily up from the table and gave her a hug. Before he let her go, the sound of a car slowing on the road snagged his attention.
Turning, he watched with her as a sleek silver Pontiac pulled into the lane. But rather than coming up toward the house, the vehicle stopped. The driver's door opened and a woman emerged. She waved exuberantly to them, then made her way around to the open trunk of her car.
Ryan tilted his head to the side as the woman went about her business. “What,” he said at last, “is that all about?"
He could feel the woman in his arms begin to vibrate.
"Damn it all to hell. That bitch is putting up a ‘for sale’ sign!"
* * * *
"Hold it right there!"
Lily knew her voice sounded shrill, but she didn't care. She walked as quickly as she could down her laneway, watching with growing dismay as the blonde kept on with her mission, undeterred.
"I said hold it!"
The woman used a heavy mallet to pound the ‘for sale’ sign into the ground. She looked up as Lily approached, her smile wide.
"I am so, so sorry that I didn't get out this morning, as I promised I would! The meeting with my other clients just dragged on and on. Now, don't you worry about a thing, I've got the papers in my attaché case, and signing them is a mere formality. Since you're so anxious to sell, I've already listed this property on our web site. We don't usually do that before actually getting a signature, but, well, your mother knows my boss, and what can I say? Connections make things happen."
Lily stood speechless for only a moment. Then she blew the hair out of her face, and crossed her arms.
"This property is not for sale."
"Well, of course it is. My boss—"
Lily felt Ryan's hand on her shoulder as he finally caught up to her. “What's the scoop?” he asked.
"Apparently, my mother and...” she frowned, and focused on the blonde. “I'm sorry, what is your name?"
"It's Michelle. Michelle Parsons. Here's my card. Now, if we can just—"
Lily turned her back on Michelle, addressing Ryan. “My mother and Michelle's boss are friends. My guess is that Mother called her friend...” she let the sentence hang. What on Earth could her mother hope to accomplish with this stunt? Did she think Lily so weak willed that the mere appearance of a real estate agent with orders from her mother would cow her into selling her home?
Before she could say anything, Ryan shook his head. “Darling, I told you the doctor never should have taken your mother off those medications. Though, at least this time, she's only tried to sell your home, and not the CN Tower. But you know what this means. I'm afraid we're going to have to institutionalize her."
Lily chocked back a laugh as a look of horror crossed Michelle's face. Quietly, firmly, she said to the agent, “My home is not for sale. My mother had no right whatsoever to imply otherwise. And, if you don't have my property taken off your company's web site within the next hour, you'll be hearing from my lawyer."
"There must be some misunderstanding. My boss assured me that this property was for sale and..."
While Michelle rambled on, Lily watched as Ryan pulled the sign out of the ground and tossed it back into the trunk of Michelle's car. The real estate agent didn't seem to notice his actions until he relieved her of the mallet, placing it with the sign, and slammed the trunk.
"I am the sole owner of this property and I have no intention of selling.” It was all Lily could do to keep her voice calm.
"We'll fax a copy of the deed to your office within the hour just to verify that, Ryan added.
Lily stepped back and indicated Michelle should get back into her car.
"What do I tell my boss?” the woman asked plaintively as Ryan closed the door for her.
"Tell your boss,” Lily said sweetly, “to pick better friends."
"What was that supposed to accomplish?” Ryan asked as they watched the Pontiac drive from sight.
"I have absolutely no idea. Usually, my mother is all threats and verbal abuse. This is the first time she's actually done anything.” She shot Ryan a grin and shrugged. “Maybe she does need medication."
In response, he laughed, then hugged her tight.
"Where do we have to go to fax the deed?"
"You have a copy of it, don't you?"
"Yes, and of the will."
"So you obviously weren't paying attention when we bought your printer. It's a scanner, a copier, a printer, and a fax."
"Well, aren't I just a font of modern technology?"
"Yes, aren't you just?"
* * * *
Lily was pleased that even though he seemed hesitant, Ryan agreed to meet Alice. She couldn't say why she felt on the edge of a new understanding with her daughter, but she did. That insight grew the next week when Alice came to lunch.
"It's been years since I've been out here."
"I know. You protested mightily that summer we spent here with Uncle Mark."
"I remember. I thought the world would come to an end if I couldn't play with my friends. I used to be such a bratty kid."
When Lily could only look at her in astonishment, Alice smiled and shrugged. “Okay, and that flaw is only just abating."
When Alice asked after her furniture-refinishing project, Lily showed her the desk in the barn that needed one more coat of varnish to be done.
"Looks good."
"Thanks."
Walking back toward the house, she paused by the pool. “I remember this as being the only good thing about this place. I'm surprised it's still here and working, though."
"Ryan says Uncle Mark had it completely renovated two years ago. Even then he planned to leave the place to me, and wanted the pool to be in good shape."
"Who's Ryan?"
At just that moment, the roar of a motorcycle broke the afternoon quiet. Lily turned her head and watched appreciatively as Ryan came down the driveway. She saw Alice stare, and couldn't prevent the smile.
"That's Ryan. And before you ask ... he's mine."
"Way to go, Mom."
Lily felt a sense of giddiness as those words washed over her. Upon joining them, Ryan kissed her quickly before turning his attention to Alice. Lily found that only a little embarrassing.
Lily further relaxed as Ryan and Alice seemed to hit it off, thick into a discussion of music and movies by the time lunch was being served.
After eating, Ryan took his leave, explaining he had some catch-up work to do for his latest client. Alone over tea, Lily wondered what Alice thought as she studied her mother. So she asked.
"You've changed."
"How so?"
"You didn't apologize once."
"I had nothing to apologize for."
"That never stopped you in the past."
Lily grinned when her daughter lowered her head and said, “Sorry, that wasn't nice."
"Now who's apologizing? You're right, honey. But I thought I did. Maybe I'm finally growing up."
"No, maybe you finally have someone in your life who treats you with respect. And I'm sorry that, in the past, I haven't."
"I didn't give you a whole lot to respect. I let your grandmother, your father, and even your brother, to some extent, bully me. I couldn't see it then. I do now. I'm trying to change, but it's ... hard."
"We should have lunch more often,” Alice said.
Lily beamed back at her. “We should. But not tomorrow."
"Oh ... what happens tomorrow?"
"My first ride on Ry
an's motorcycle."
* * * *
"Sweetheart?"
"Yes?"
"You don't have to hold me quite so ... securely."
"But I might fall off."
"You won't fall off."
"Okay."
Ryan couldn't help but chuckle when Lily screamed and clutched him even tighter as he fed the motorcycle some gas. True to his word, he kept the speed down, barely going twenty miles per hour as he navigated the bike around the outside edge of the cornfield. Lily hung on to him as if her very life depended on it.
"I'm going to take it into a slow turn. Feel the way the bike moves, Lily. You have to learn to ease up enough so that you can lean into the turn with me."
"No. I'll slide off it."
"You won't slide off it. I promise."
The first turn challenged Ryan's skills to keep the bike from falling—he'd rarely had anyone on the back, and rarely taken a turn so slowly. But despite Lily's litany of “Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no,” they made it around the first corner, approaching the second. By the third time around the field, Ryan could tell by the way Lily had eased her grip that she felt more at secure.
"Okay back there?"
"So far so good."
"Want to try once around the block?"
"You mean ... on the road?"
"Yeah. It's the middle of the day, and there's not much traffic. I'll keep well under the speed limit.” He felt her head resting on his back for a moment.
"All right. Just once. That'll be like ... ten miles in all, won't it?"
"About that. Ready?"
"Ready."
Riding his motorcycle had become one of Ryan's purest pleasures. He hadn't realized, until this very moment, how much he wanted Lily to find pleasure in it, too.
"Turning left up here,” Ryan said. The turns around the cornfield had all been right turns. He smiled when he felt Lily lean into the turn with him.
"You doing all right back there, Lily?"
"Doing okay here. The road is smoother than the field."
Ryan smiled. When Lily had insisted riding around the property first, he'd known the ride would be rough—which in turn made the road seem smoother, and thus less dangerous—in comparison. That had been his plan.
Lily in Bloom Page 8
